My Ex-Girlfriend Regrets Dumping Me

22 – Restless Heart (4)

“If there’s something you want, get it with your own hands.”

The phrase written prominently on the framed photo in Jia’s ancestral home.

And it was also the saying Jia had heard throughout her life.

Jia’s parents came from a wealthy background, a successful couple who built a prosperous business in Seoul, starting from their humble origins as poor commoners.

Usually, people with similar thoughts and backgrounds tend to get along well.

Jia’s mother and father were also independent and strong-willed individuals.

And that stubborn belief had been passed down to their children as well.

“Uwaaa~! Buy it for me, Jia! I really want that!”

In her childhood, Jia would sit on the floor and throw a tantrum, wanting a doll.

She desperately wanted the large teddy bear doll she had seen at the big supermarket.

The round and cuddly bear doll seemed to tempt Jia, as if wanting her to take it away.

Her mother said it firmly with a stern expression.

“Yujia, stop it. There won’t be anything that changes just because you cry while sitting.”

“…Sniff…Sniff…Sob…Teddy bear…Me too…”

“Has there ever been a time when I gave in to your tantrums?”

When her mother asked that, Jia nodded vigorously.

Young Jia didn’t know what to do other than sit and cry.

But her mother had never given in to Jia’s tantrums.

“Well, Jia. Let me tell you how you can have the teddy bear, okay?”

“…Sob…Okay.”

“What did Dad always say if he ever wanted something?”

“…If you want something, go get it with your own hands…”

“Yeah, I remember it well. That’s our Ji-a.”

Ji-a had always heard those words since she was young, but she didn’t really understand what they meant. Her mother started to explain to her gradually.

“So Ji-a, you want a teddy bear, right?”

“…Yeah.”

“And you’re asking Mom to buy it for you?”

“…Sniff… Yeah.”

“So what can Ji-a do for Mom? Mom is buying you the teddy bear. What does Mom like?”

Mom likes herself, her older sister, and Dad. The first thing that came to Ji-a’s mind was people.

“…Me?”

“hahahaha, that’s true, but Ji-a, what can you do to make Mom happy besides being yourself?”

Mom smiled as she asked Ji-a for an answer.

Ji-a began to think deeply. She thought of moments when her mother had smiled at her actions, like when she did her homework well, when she cleaned her room, or when she brushed her teeth.

“Yeah, Mom likes a lot of things that Ji-a can do.”

Ji-a nodded her head repeatedly. There were many things she could do.

“So, how can Ji-a persuade Mom? Think about it.”

“…Persuade?”

“Yeah, how can Ji-a make Mom want to buy the teddy bear for her?”

Then Ji-a remembered a scene from kindergarten. “Hey, let’s exchange this with mine.”

The scene of kids exchanging favorite toys and yogurt from lunch with satisfied expressions. She realized that they could just exchange things that they both like.

What my mom likes and what I like.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could switch them?

“…..I’ll study hard from now on. Can you buy me a teddy bear?”

Jia sneaked a glance at her mother, her head tilted.

Only then did Jia’s mother smile widely and stroke her hair.

It seemed like the right answer.

“Yes. That’s how you get what Jia herself wants. Not by forcing. Do you understand?”

“Yeah. I got it, Mom.”

“Well done, our daughter. How smart you are.”

That day, Jia held the teddy bear in her hand as she headed home, thinking.

She finally understood the meaning of “If you want something, get it with your own hands.”

Her parents’ greed to quickly teach her the ways of the world didn’t consider the impact it would have on Jia.

*

As Jia grew older, she blossomed into a beautiful child without any flaws.

There wasn’t a single lacking aspect about her.

She excelled in her studies, ranking among the top students in her class, and she had a decent aptitude for sports.

With her bright and kind personality, she was popular among her classmates.

But she could never surpass her older sister.

“Oh my, how can this child look like a doll even when she grows up?”

“Thank you.”

“These days your parents are obsessed with me. They want to see Jiyeon. Did you become first in your class again? Impressive, dear.”

“Oh no, it’s nothing special.”

Yu Jiyeon.

Her 2-year-older sister was like a person who embodied perfection.

Whether it was studying, music, or sports, there was almost nothing she couldn’t do.

Jia had above-average looks, but Jiyeon’s appearance was an insurmountable barrier.

With her silky hair and doll-like features.

People even suggested she become a child actress or an idol.

“Jia is good too, but Jiyeon is truly amazing. I heard she won a piano competition this time.”

“Yeah. How smart our Jieun is. Isn’t she? Honey.”

“Right. She’s a genius. We have a genius daughter. hahahaha.”

Whenever the parents’ friends come to play at home, Jia was always in the backseat of their attention.

The compliments and interest of the parents were solely Jieun’s share.

Jia’s story came out for a moment and then disappeared.

Jia’s efforts and small achievements were always overshadowed by Jieun’s overwhelming achievements.

Jia couldn’t surpass Jieun in any way.

So it was only natural for the parents’ attention to be focused on Jieun.

“Mom. I have a visit tomorrow. There’s supposed to be a parent observation class… Will you come?”

“Tomorrow? Tomorrow is a bit difficult. Tomorrow your sister has a piano competition. I’m sorry, can’t it be the next time?”

“… But all my friends’ parents are coming…”

“Jia, it’s an important contest for your sister. You can always go to the observation class later, okay?”

“…Okay.”

Jia was always upset, even though she did not show it outwardly.

In fact, this was not the first time. Her mother was always busy caring for Jieun.

Jieun was always more important than Jia’s pleas.

… Would she have refused if her sister had asked her to come?

She felt as if her pride had been hurt for no reason.

Everything her sister did was important.

But what she did was always pushed aside in terms of priority.

Jia gradually realized that her parents’ love was not fair.

No matter how much they might have been parents, they couldn’t help focusing more on the child who brought them results.

She was thirsty for the parents’ attention, which was tilted to one side.

She studied hard not to fall behind her sister.

By following the family motto, she wanted to earn their love and invade their hearts with her own hands.

Studying was one of the things that parents considered most important, so she worked hard to do it better than her sister in every way possible.

It wasn’t as if she enjoyed studying.

She just wanted to receive her parents’ recognition and praise.

“…ugh…my heart’s pounding.”

She sometimes stayed up all night in the library, drinking energy drinks she didn’t even like.

And finally, her effort paid off.

By lucky chance, she had come first in the school on this midterm exam.

With the desire to be praised by her parents, Jia came running home with her report card in hand.

But when they reached home, the atmosphere was somewhat different from usual.

Her sister sat at the living room table, looking gloomy, facing their mother.

“Jiyeon-ah, have you not been studying properly lately?”

“…..”

“Why are your grades like this? You used to do better before, now it’s different?”

“I’m sorry.”

“This won’t work. I think we’ll have to take away your phone. You’ve been holding onto it for a whole day just because you got a boyfriend. Isn’t it causing your grades to drop?”

As college entrance exams approached, her mother’s nerves became sharper each day.

Perhaps Jiyeon’s grades had fallen this time.

Jia secretly watched as Jiyeon was scolded in the living room.

Honestly, it felt slightly satisfying, as she had always been jealous of how well her sister did everything.

Jiyeon left the room with a depressed expression after listening to their mother’s harsh words.

Then, at that moment, Jia went toward her mother.

This was her chance to be loved.

Wouldn’t showing her own report card make her mother feel much better?

“Oh, Jia. Did you come?”

“Has unnie not done well on her exam?”

“Uh-huh. She fell quite a lot. I should take that damn phone away from her.”

Her mother seemed quite upset.

The expression she wore was usually only directed toward Jia.

Today, it was directed more towards Jiyeon.

For some reason, Jia liked that.

“…Really? That’s too bad.”

“So, what’s going on?”

“I want to show you my grades. Look at this. hehehe.”

Jia handed her mother the paper with the numbers on it.

[RANK 332/1]

When Jia’s mother saw her report card, her eyes widened in surprise as she looked at Jia.

“Oh my…Jia, did you get first place?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve never gotten first place before.”

“I just worked a little harder this time.”

Actually, Jia hadn’t worked that much harder, but had just gotten lucky this time.

But in the embrace and soothing words from her mother that followed, Jia stopped herself from saying anything else.

She just enjoyed the praise from her mother that she hadn’t received in a long time.

She put a smile on her face and revelled in the feeling of finally regaining her mother’s attention as if she were supposed to.

She was usually put aside by her parents and was always the child who needed more effort.

“Oh, our daughter, well done. So good, so great.”

“…Mom, do you love me?”

“Yes. Of course. How could I not love Jia, who works so hard?”

Jia was satisfied by her self-made achievement.

Her efforts had paid off in the form of parents’ love, and she felt it was the most deserving reward.

And to some extent, she felt unfairly trapped, seeing her sister always having this kind of happiness.

She wanted more compliments and more love for herself.

From the warm embrace of her mother, Jia’s eyes caught a glimpse of the picture on the living room wall.

For over ten years, Jia had been exposed to the Korean proverb hanging there.

[If you want something, you must obtain it with your own hands.]

Jia realized then and there that love and attention are things that must also be gained by oneself.

If I do nothing, it will be taken away from me.

From then on, she made up her mind to do her best to be loved.

Now, she didn’t want her sister or herself to have their love stolen anymore.

…So, love in Ji-ah’s heart was transforming into something that could only be obtained by seizing it.

.

.

.

.

“…I don’t know. I feel a little uneasy.”

So, in her first experience of love, Ji-ah stuck to her usual ways.

All the love she learned came from her parents.

That’s why Ji-ah tried to gain affection in the way her parents taught her.

She hadn’t really thought about how that would reflect on her.

She just wanted to build a wall quickly so that no one else could steal her first love.

“Are you worried?”

“Yes. I’m just feeling like this. I feel like I need to make you like me quickly, or someone else might take you away.”

Geon-yul stared at Ji-ah for a moment, then burst into laughter.

He laughed at her for a while as he looked at her.

Ji-ah couldn’t understand why Geon-yul suddenly burst into laughter.

“heheheh… Ji-ah. Who would steal a guy like me? Huhuh… You’re really funny.”

“Why? Isn’t an older brother attractive enough?”

Ji-ah genuinely believed that.

There must be many women out there who’d be interested in Geon-yul, other than herself.

For example, the woman who rudely pushed Geon-yul away on the street last time.

Even though Ji-ah didn’t know what their story was, she saw that woman as beautiful, like a sister.

“Heh… Okay. If you say so.”

Geon-yul held back his laughter and his expression changed to a slightly serious one.

After hesitating for a moment, as if unsure of what to say, he continued.

“Ji-ah. You see.”

“Yes.”

And I threw a word to Jia with my sincere gaze.

“……You’re so charming even without this kind of gift.”

A word that would touch Jia’s heart.