My Ex-Girlfriend Regrets Dumping Me

29 – Explanation (1)

“Pancreatic, pancreatic cancer? You?”

He simply could not believe it.

Ha-yeon, who had been so healthy, suddenly had pancreatic cancer.

When the hell did this happen?

According to the record, the document was from about two years ago.

“You didn’t forge this, did you?”

“Yul, do you think I’m capable of doing such a thing?”

He didn’t really think Ha-yeon was that bad of a person, but he still asked anyway.

Perhaps it was because a story that only happened in movies had become reality, making it hard to accept.

Yet deep down, he thought that Ha-yeon couldn’t be the type of woman who would lie about something like this.

And did she really manipulate documents just to be with him again from the

I’m not some great man.

She couldn’t understand the necessity for her to go to such lengths.

“…Are you still hospitalized?”

To say so seemed a little strange.

Hayan’s hair was just a bit shorter, and she looked almost the same as when she was healthy.

Knowing that Hayan had cancer, my heart felt heavy for some reason.

“No, I’m almost fully recovered now. Anyway, will you take a look at this?”

And Hayan handed me her phone.

It was a collection of photos in her gallery.

Hayan wearing a beanie while dressed in a patient gown.

There was no sign of hair visible, and she was forcing an awkward smile on the bed.

It definitely looked like the appearance of a patient admitted to the hospital.

“It was during my cancer treatment. Photos taken by my aunt. I didn’t want to show them because they’re ugly… because you wouldn’t believe me.”

As I checked the photos, Hayan quickly turned the screen away.

It seemed like a courageous act on her part.

Hayan’s slightly blushing cheek shone under the spotlight, embarrassed.

“Yeah, I get it. You had cancer. And now you’re much better.”

“…”

“……So why are you showing this to me?”

Is she trying to gain sympathy from me?

Why is she bringing up her battle with illness to me, saying she’ll clear up any misunderstandings?

Hayan took a deep breath, seemingly nervous for a moment, and continued gazing directly into my eyes.

“…So, do you remember the reason we broke up?”

“I couldn’t forget.”

It was a memory that I couldn’t forget, no matter how much I wanted to.

It was the biggest wound I received from her.

“When I said I was tired, it was a lie. In reality, back then, I received a terminal diagnosis.”

“…What?”

More and more shocking pieces of information rushed into my mind.

Ha-yeon has a terminal pancreatic cancer.

As her ex-boyfriend, these were stories I had no idea about.

She spoke in a feeble voice, pouring out her story like a soliloquy.

“Doctor said that if I receive anti-cancer treatment, I can live for a year, otherwise I will die within 6 months.”

“… “

“That’s why I broke up with you. Then, even if you remember me as a bad woman, you wouldn’t know that I died.”

I felt like the world was spinning around me again.

My head was spinning.

What did I just hear?

And then all the actions I didn’t understand back then fell into place like puzzle pieces.

There were some behaviors that I didn’t quite understand back then.

Things that only made sense now.

Were they all because of that?

Was Ha-yeon wondering whether to break up with me that whole time?

“Ha-yeon… You… You…”

My voice trembled.

I didn’t know what to ask or say in response.

Ha-yeon continued in a regretful voice.

“I just didn’t want to hurt you. Losing someone you love is so painful. I knew that.”

“… “

“Looking back now, I was so stupid too. I was.”

Because of that, I hurt you even more.

Listening to Ha-yeon’s stuttering words, I remembered all the recent behaviors she had shown me.

The way she clung to me so strangely.

Unlike when she was cold to me, there was a seeming affection for me.

And her drunken confession that she still liked me.

Now, I felt a sense of relief as all the doubts were finally cleared.

Perhaps, there might not be a single lie in her words.

Maybe, if there was one lie, it would be the statement that I was tired of hearing.

“…Why did you make such an important decision without telling me?”

The more I heard, the more my anger boiled inside.

It was resented that she had tried to hide everything from me and even wanted to die.

Why didn’t she tell me when she struggled so much?

And why did she make the foolish choice to leave me with the word “tired”?

Just once.

If only she had consulted with me just once, she and I wouldn’t have ended up like this.

“I’m sorry, Yura. I couldn’t make a rational judgment because I was about to die.”

“…”

“After all, I will soon disappear from this world. I wondered if you should carry this burden and pain along with me. I know. How much you liked me.”

“…If you knew, then…you should have said more…”

Tears started to well up in the corners of my eyes.

Afraid that I might burst into tears, I bit my lip hard.

“I was scared that you wouldn’t be able to live normally if I died… I was afraid you would suffer too much. Because I know. How much you loved me.”

“…Even so.”

“And you were enlisting in the military a month later. I also wondered how you would endure it if I told you I died when you came back.”

Ha-yeon began to choke on her sobs.

Her eyes and voice were soaked with tears.

I felt a suffocating sensation as if my chest was submerged in water.

“…Did you really think it would make me happy if you quietly died alone, and I lived alone?”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Yura.”

“What if I found out later? What would you do then? Why do you only think about yourself? Didn’t you consider my feelings back then? Why are you so short-sighted? Seriously…”

My fist clenched tightly by my side.

I felt like slamming my head against the table.

Ha-yeon kept apologizing to me between her sobs.

“But, still… sniff… you know. I really… sniff… like you. Please don’t doubt that.”

“…”

“I’ve never been tired of you, not even one percent. I’ve liked you from then until now. So, just believe in that.”

A sequence of words that could be either a confession or a plea.

Upon hearing her words, my confusion only deepened.

Now, what should I do?

My mind became even more complicated.

The misunderstandings and doubts I had desired were resolved, but I felt like I was stepping into a deeper swamp.

“…I don’t know. Me too. Well…”

“…”

“For now, my mind is too chaotic. I’m going back.”

“Okay.”

There was a need for time to organize my thoughts.

At least in this place where I faced Hayeon, I couldn’t come to any conclusion.

As I stood up from the chair, I prevented Hayeon from getting up as well.

“Don’t get up. You don’t have to see me off or anything.”

Upon hearing my words, Hayeon sat back down with a gloomy expression.

It wasn’t that my feelings towards her had suddenly changed upon learning the truth.

From the start, I myself couldn’t sort out my emotions properly.

I had no idea how to treat Hayeon.

“…Yul-ah, now that we’ve met again, can’t I see you?”

As I stepped outside, folding my shoes and closing the front door, Hayeon’s question reached my ears.

It was a desperate voice.

Despite trembling at that question, I ignored it.

Without saying anything, I simply opened the door and walked outside.

*

Click. Thud. Ding!

The door closed and the doorknob locked itself.

Hayeon sat at the table and blankly stared into space.

Then, she turned her gaze to the spot where Geonyul had been sitting.

After roughly wiping away the tears trickling down her cheek, she got lost in her thoughts.

Thoughts about the behaviors Geonyul had shown when they were talking to each other.

Her pupils continued to shake.

And the gaze that looked at her was not filled with hatred as before.

It was a gaze mixed with confusion rather than coldness.

“Yuri is shaking. Listen to me.”

To Hae-yeon, it was a somewhat positive signal.

She was worried that he would listen to her words and still cut her off sharply.

Even if she explained the situation, she could say that she didn’t like it.

“So what now?” she couldn’t say that.

But Geon-yul was not like that.

He only spat out words of resentment, asking why she didn’t tell him.

She had to think that there was still lingering affection or good feelings towards her.

No. She just wanted to think that way.

And Hae-yeon had promised herself that after this conversation ended, she would disappear if Geon-yul wanted her to.

That’s why Hae-yeon had asked him before he left.

“…Yul-ah, I can’t see you anymore now, right?

But Geon-yul didn’t answer.

That was enough of a signal to consider that he was hesitating.

Confidence began to gradually build up within her.

“…This is the chance.”

Now was the best opportunity for Hae-yeon.

When he couldn’t sort out his emotions, she had to close the distance between them and bring it closer.

While he was wavering, she had to shake him even more until he couldn’t regain his senses.

If he happened to sort out his feelings towards himself, it would be too late for anything else.

“…What should I do?”

Her dilemma did not easily end until late into the night.