My Ex-Girlfriend Regrets Dumping Me

33 – Explanation (5)

Did she fall asleep?

After being encouraged to shower and taking some medicine, Ha-yeon had been lying down for a while.

When she opened her eyes, she found herself fast asleep in bed.

… Maybe the medicine had some sleep-inducing ingredient.

– Rustle

The reason she woke up was simple.

There was a bustling sound coming from the living room.

Or the delicious smell of food flowing into the room through the gap in the door.

Maybe it’s one of these two.

“Judging from my hunger, I must be feeling better.”

Thanks to Ha-yeon’s attentive care.

Or maybe it’s because the convenience store medication she bought has a remarkable effect.

Seeing my hunger triggered by the smell of food, I felt that my physical condition had improved quite a bit.

“…And my head doesn’t hurt as much.”

It seemed like the fever had subsided.

The throbbing pain in my head had been persistent since earlier.

And the muscle pain that seemed to afflict my entire body had also lessened a bit.

I slowly sat up in bed.

Now I seemed able to walk.

The pain in my ankle persisted, but I used the bed as support and placed my hand on the wall as I got up from the bed.

“What are you doing outside? That guy.”

No, the fact that he hadn’t even returned home yet surprised me.

It was already dark outside. Moonlight had long since filled the outside.

Since he arrived home for a late lunch, it meant he had taken care of me at our house for half a day.

I opened the door and walked outside weakly.

Then I saw Ha-yeon’s back as she happily sang a tune in the kitchen, doing something.

She must have sensed my presence instantly and turned around.

“Oh, Yul-ah, you’re awake. Just stay lying down. Why did you come out if your legs still hurt? Is your body okay?”

“Better than earlier. But what are you doing?”

“I made it for you to eat. I was boiling porridge… You like it, right? Beef and vegetable porridge.”

It seemed like she was preparing my meal.

Since Ha-yeon knew that porridge was my favorite menu.

But where did she get the ingredients from?

Except for rice and a few side dishes, our house didn’t have what we called ingredients.

After all, it was a house where a man lived alone, and I often ate microwavable meals.

Without answering my question, Ha-yeon observed my reaction.

“Is there something wrong? Should I have done something else?”

“That’s not it. There’s no beef or vegetables in our house.”

“Oh, I bought them at the mart down the street.”

“With your own money?”

“Yeah.”

Considering I had just lost my part-time job and had no money, I was slightly taken aback by the fact that she had gone to the trouble of going to the market and preparing a meal as if she were cooking a feast for me.

“Sigh… alright.”

“The porridge is nearly done now. Have a seat. I’ll serve it for you.”

Her actions felt so natural that I was at a loss for words.

It felt as if I were witnessing our everyday life before we broke up.

…Why were you cooking porridge at our house in the first place?

As much as I wanted to ask that question, I held my tongue, thinking about Hayeon’s sincerity.

“Here. Mine is here.”

Hayeon placed two bowls of porridge on the table and brought a computer chair from the room to sit facing me.

As I silently began eating the porridge, Hayeon asked me.

“How is it? Does it taste okay?”

“It’s just fine.”

To be honest, the porridge was incredibly delicious.

Hayeon had been a woman who spent a lifetime with me and was one of the few people who knew my taste buds precisely.

Perhaps even better than our own mother.

But the words that came out of my mouth were still sharp.

Maybe it was because I hadn’t forgotten the resentment I held towards her.

I took another spoonful of porridge and spoke to her.

“When you finish eating, go back home.”

“…Are you okay being alone? You don’t look well at all.”

Whether I looked well or not didn’t really matter.

She looked at me with concerned eyes.

But my words remained cold.

You’re not even my girlfriend anymore, and you can’t stay at our house indefinitely. It’s nighttime now, Seo Hayeon.

“…Ah, right. Yeah.”

Those were the words intentionally provoking her.

Actually, there wasn’t a single false word.

Like staying late at a guy’s place she didn’t even date.

Originally, we weren’t that close to each other.

But seeing Hayeon looking gloomy after my remark,

It seemed like what I said about her still liking me wasn’t a lie.

Well, who would support and take care of someone they dislike, even bring them home and cook for them till they die?

“……”

We continued to eat in silence for a while.

An awkward dinner where only spoons moved to our mouths.

Hayeon glanced discreetly at me, and it made me uncomfortable.

By the time Hayeon had almost finished half of her porridge.

She put down her spoon for a moment and whispered to me.

“Hey, Yura. You know…”

“…”

“How long do we have to keep doing this?”

“What are you talking about?”

Hayeon’s sudden words raised a question mark in my mind.

How long do we have to keep doing this? What is she referring to?

Hayeon glanced at me and then avoided eye contact as she spoke.

“Do we have to keep living uncomfortably like this forever?”

“…”

“I don’t want to keep being uncomfortable with you like this. We go to the same school, and we might accidentally run into each other. Our classes could overlap too.”

“…”

“Do we have to keep hating each other like this? The two of us?”

I felt like I knew why she was observing my reactions.

That was a very sensitive topic for me.

“…What are you trying to say?”

“So…you know I like you, right? So, I won’t push it. Can’t we just go back to being friends?”

“…”

“Please… Yura… I’m begging you.”

Friend.

Can we really go back to the way we used to call each other?

I felt my expression freeze at those words. Hayeon began to explain herself.

“I’m not forcing you at all. Whatever the circumstances may be, it’s true that I was wrong. I still feel sorry about it.”

“…”

“Forgiving is your choice. I’m just asking.”

Hayeon’s pupils shook relentlessly.

Listening to her words, I thought about the magnitude of the pain I had received.

And I speculated that Hayeon had also suffered just as much.

Long years of illness.

The guilt that she couldn’t tell me and left me behind.

Wasn’t she longing for me as much as I longed for her?

But the wall built by accumulated emotions over two years was too deep.

I started doubting whether I could easily forgive her like this.

As I hesitated for a long time, Hayeon hurriedly changed her words.

“If it’s difficult for a friend… then how about someone you know?”

“…Someone I know?”

“Just someone, you know. I know it’s too much to ask you to like me. But… still… even though I hate you so much, please don’t treat me coldly. Every time you do, it feels like my heart is being torn apart.”

“…”

“It hurts so much… There are times when I can’t sleep at night… You know. Even though I may seem like this, I’m timid and fragile inside.”

Indeed, Hayeon was that type of person.

Someone who worries and tortures themselves over one unpleasant remark from someone else.

Appearing cold on the outside but always wearing their heart on their sleeve.

The words she heard from me might have turned into daggers, piercing her heart.

Her plea-like voice to me was already filled with moisture.

The atmosphere had already become too serious to continue eating like this.

I put down my spoon and hesitated on how to answer her.

…There’s no need to love. Just please don’t hate me.

How much pride had Hayeon lost in saying so?

Judging by her attitude towards me until now, Hayeon had enough time to reflect.

And she wanted to avoid being hated by me even if it meant crushing her own pride.

I thought for a while and opened my mouth to answer her.

“To me -“

“Ji-ying, Ji-ying.”

As I was about to answer her, my phone vibrated repeatedly from my pocket.

I stopped what I was going to say and checked my phone.

The name that appeared on the screen was Jia.

“I’ll talk to you later. Go ahead and eat first.”

I felt somehow uncomfortable talking to Jia in front of Hayeon.

So I told her that and went into my room.

When I answered the call, a bright voice hit my ears.

“Oppa~! Why aren’t you checking your messages? Is something wrong?”

“Oh, sorry, Jia. I was sleeping because I feel a bit sick. But I’m awake now.”

“Really? Are you okay? I finished work and am near your house. Should I come over?”

Come over to our house now?

The cafe where Jia works is near our house.

Although she had never been to our house before, she could find us since I gave her the address.

But Hayeon was still at home. Her condition had gotten significantly better.

Also, it didn’t seem like a good idea to give her my cold.

“No, it’s not necessary. I’ll get better if I rest a bit.”

“Oh, I see. I wanted to take care of you, Oppa. It’s a pity. I could have even put a wet towel on your forehead or made soup for you.”

It stung a little when she said that because someone else had already done all of that for me.

I cleared my throat and spoke gently to Jia.

“You just finished work, so you must be tired. You should go home and rest instead of pushing yourself because of me.”

“If you say so. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call me. I can come over anytime.”

“Got it. I’m having my meal right now, so let’s talk later through messages.”

“Okay~!”

Even just hearing Jia’s voice gave me energy.

I hung up the call and immediately headed back to the living room.

Ha-yeon was fidgeting, holding a spoonful of porridge as she leaned against the well.

I hesitated for a moment, unsure if I should answer her earlier question, and then took my seat.

After glancing at me for a while, Ha-yeon threw me an odd question.

“……Who were you talking to? That bratty girl?”