My Ex-Girlfriend Regrets Dumping Me

5 – Empty Breakup (5)

To me, it was too sudden a change.

Starting from one day, Harien’s words decreased dramatically, and the days we met drastically decreased.

At first, I thought it was because of her recent change in part-time job, which made her tired.

Since she had a weak stamina, Harien always struggled with part-time jobs and exam preparation.

But as time passed, I felt that it was slightly different from that.

On days when she reluctantly went on a date, Harien was always out of it.

“Harien.”

“…”

“Harien?”

“…”

“Hey. Seo Harien!”

“… What?”

“Why are you acting like that these days? Do you have any worries?”

“Oh, no. It’s not like that.”

Even when sitting in the cafe she usually likes,

She couldn’t concentrate on our conversation.

She just stared blankly at somewhere in the air or at me, sighing heavily.

As if there were some worries.

But since she didn’t tell me the reason, I was just frustrated with her.

“If you have something to say, don’t keep it in your heart. Do you want to get sick?”

“… Yes.”

.

.

.

.

One day, she suddenly burst into tears when she saw my face.

Even at the place where we met to start dating.

“Sniffle… sniffle…”

I held her tightly in my arms, but she didn’t stop crying easily.

And she pulled me behind her back as if she didn’t want to let go.

“Sob… I love you… I love you, Gunyul.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

I didn’t know why she was acting like this.

I just gave her the answers she seemed to want.

As far as I knew, today wasn’t a special day for her.

She wasn’t usually so emotionally unstable.

“Did you miss me that much? To cry as soon as you see me?”

“… Yeah, I guess so.”

At that moment, I stopped asking her about her strange behavior.

Since she would never answer even if I ask for a reason.

I thought she might have had something to overcome on her own.

I’ve been through times like that too, and it’s not something that can be solved by talking to someone.

Even though we’re lovers, we can’t share everything.

It was a bit sad that my boyfriend didn’t rely on me. And the day when she and I had to part. Winter, the day I was going to enlist, was getting closer.

*

[A White Christmas is expected this Christmas for the first time in 3 years…]

I was at a cake shop, waiting for the reserved cake, looking out the window, thinking back to the news article I read a few days ago.

The sight of the pretty white snow falling from the sky caught my eye.

“It’s really snowing.”

But there hadn’t been snow until we arrived at the store.

Now, I really felt the reality of a White Christmas.

“There are too many people. Ugh.”

The heater and the body heat of people mixed and made my head dizzy.

It wasn’t easy to reserve a cake for Christmas, especially at a store nearby that was famous and expensive.

But this would be the last event I’d leave for Hayeon before going to the army.

I prepared for this Christmas with a big heart.

“…She’ll definitely like it, right?”

Thinking of Hayeon’s reaction was enough reward for all the effort.

Even though she appeared cold on the outside, she had a feminine side and liked sweet desserts and pretty things.

“Yoon Gunyul? Here’s the cake you reserved!”

“Yes.”

I got up from my seat and finally received the cake I had been waiting for.

With the sound of the bells on the door, I quickly walked out to the arranged meeting place.

“Let’s meet at the park we always go to.”

A simple and brief message from Hayeon.

Since I was usually the one who suggested dates, getting a date proposal from Hayeon made me feel good.

“What’s going on today?”

Near the university campus, there was a large park located about halfway between my house and Ha-yeon’s.

The park was quiet and had a pleasant atmosphere, so we often went on dates or used it as a meeting place.

I wonder if Ha-yeon is excited because of Christmas.

Recalling Ha-yeon’s recent gloomy appearance, I strongly felt the desire to cheer her up today.

Perhaps the strange behaviors she showed during our dates would also disappear a little.

*Tuk-tuk*

The snowflakes falling overhead weren’t that cold.

Instead, they made me feel warm and cozy.

Before long, I stepped into the silent park.

Though a few people were around, it still had a calm ambience even on holidays.

I walked towards the bench where Ha-yeon and I always met.

“Hey, Ha-yeon!”

The sky had darkened without realizing it.

Beneath the streetlight shining, I noticed Ha-yeon’s figure.

Blue jeans, a black turtleneck, and a beige coat draped over her.

When she wore them, even ordinary clothes seemed like something a model would wear.

“You came. Yul-ah, I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah? Right after you arrived?”

Why did she seem so urgent?

She threw matters at me as if she were a team leader at work giving commands.

It was unusual for Ha-yeon to behave this way, so I thought something was off.

After all, our relationship started with casual physical contact.

Her expression seemed more serious than usual.

Hands tightly gripping her thighs and eyebrows straightened.

And even her fidgeting lips seemed hesitant to say something.

“I won’t say it twice. Understand it once.”

“Okay, don’t beat around the bush. Just tell me. What is it?”

What could be the forceful words she prepared for me?

Especially on Christmas, the day known for romantic proposals.

…Could it be that she’s about to propose?

Even though I knew deep down that it wouldn’t happen to me, someone who would enlist in the army in a month.

I found myself hoping for something from Ha-yeon, who looked like she was about to confess her feelings.

Her lips, which had been trembling, opened once again.

“…Let’s break up. Yul-ah.”

The words that came out of her small mouth were so cold.

*I drop the cake I unknowingly held in my hands onto the ground.*

“What, what did you say just now?”

I couldn’t believe it.

I thought I misheard what I just heard.

Maybe it was because of the cold weather that made my ears turn red, and I heard strange noises.

“I said it. Don’t make me say it twice. Let’s break up. You and me.”

We had never even jokingly said such things to each other.

But I found it hard to accept reality as it is.

“…What are you talking about? Out of nowhere? Are you playing a prank on me right now?”

“No. Do I look like I’m playing a prank on you?”

A chilly and indifferent voice.

Ha-yeon’s cold expression, which she always hid behind, was the same when facing others.

At least, it was not a side she easily showed to me, so I was even more bewildered.

Because it seemed like she was telling me that what she just said was sincere.

“Hey. Let’s not do this on a good day. I even reserved and bought the cake just for you. It’s your favorite cream cake, you know?”

“Yul-ah. I’m not joking.”

I picked up the cake I dropped on the floor and spoke to her.

Just because I wanted to pretend this situation never happened.

Breaking up with Ha-yeon was something I couldn’t imagine.

But Ha-yeon was determined. She didn’t even give me a chance to say anything.

“I don’t want to. Why should we break up?”

“Don’t be stubborn.”

“Then tell me why. What’s the problem? I can fix it. Then we don’t have to break up, right?”

The hand holding the cake was trembling.

If I let her go like this, it feels like it will truly be the end.

I held onto her as much as I could and continued speaking.

“You’re angry because I didn’t hang out with you and played games instead? Is that it? If you don’t like it, I’ll stop playing games… or is it because I didn’t tell you when I went out with my friends? I told you back then. You forgot, didn’t you? There won’t be such incidents in the future. I’m really sorry.”

I brought up a list of the actions she didn’t like in my mind.

I had the will to fix myself according to what she wanted.

At least, if it meant not breaking up with Ha-yeon.

“It’s not like that, Yul-ah.”

“Then what? What’s the reason! If you just tell me, I’ll do as you say. Please… Ha-yeon…”

Emotions surged up and made me feel choked.

I just wanted to scream, be angry right here.

“We’ve been together for too long… Maybe you’re tired of it.”

“…Tired?”

Ha-yeon’s words spewed out like a needle piercing my heart.

It felt like someone was jabbing my heart with a needle.

Tired. To break up because of such an unreasonable excuse?

We’ve been together for years now. And now?

The worst part was that it was a reason I couldn’t do anything about.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t change her mind.

“Yeah. I’m tired. I’m sick and tired of it. You.”

“Seo Ha-yeon… Don’t lie. We’ve been together for 16 years. If you were tired, you should have been tired earlier.”

“What can I do? I got tired just now.”

Is it over if she says she’s tired?

The 16 years we spent together and the five years as lovers.

Can it really end so easily with just one word, “tired”?

Did I really mean so little to her?

As countless thoughts filled my mind, I became more and more dizzy.

If her words were true, I didn’t know what I should do anymore.

So, I started venting my frustration to her, searching for another reason.

“No. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t believe it. Oh, could it be because of the military? Because I’ll be gone in a month? If that’s the case, you should have told me earlier. Then I wouldn’t have had any expectations.”

“…”

Upon thinking about it, you’ve been acting strange lately. Why was it okay back then, but now that we’re really close to breaking up, your heart has changed? If that’s the case, you should have just said let’s break up back then!

Ha-yeon just silently listened to my outburst, clenching her fist tightly.

Then she lifted her head and looked straight at me, so I couldn’t escape from reality.

“No. It’s the same even if you come back from the military. We have nothing to do with each other anymore. I’m tired of you, you know?”

“Hey.”

“Don’t contact me anymore. It’s over between us. Don’t even try to find me after you finish your military service.”

She said those words and swiftly turned around, walking away from the park.

…Is this really how it ends?

I felt moisture gathering in the corners of my eyes.

Emotions welled up inside me, and I shouted at her retreating figure, making whale-like cries.

“Hey! Seo Ha-yeon! Stop messing around. Where does this kind of thing exist? Where does it end just the way you want it to!”

And I tried to grab her shoulder or something, but…

“Ouch.”

My feet got tangled up clumsily, and I fell flat on the ground.

Was it because the snow melted and made the ground slippery?

My cold eyes were streaked with snow, and my legs started to ache.

Regardless of whether I fell or not, Ha-yeon continued to walk swiftly.

“Hey! Seo Ha-yeon! You bad woman! You despicable woman!”

I cursed at her back and could only helplessly watch as she disappeared.

“Don’t go…please…come back…Ha-yeon…”

And only after her figure disappeared, I collapsed on the ground, releasing my true feelings through tears.

Cold snowflakes continued to fall onto my head.