chapter 9
9 – Middle School Students
Application Form for School Trip
A total of 3 nights and 4 days. Usually 2 nights and 3 days is the national rule, but it is 3 nights and 4 days like this.
The schedule is long, so I checked and checked, and I thought I was going to Jeju Island or something. The schedule was pretty spectacular.
Seokchon Lake…? Jamsil Tower…? That… I also went to a very famous amusement park where a raccoon is the mascot.
Looking at the price, um… It’s more expensive than I thought..? ……. These days, the management of the nursery school is very bad.
……..
That’s not what I wanted to hear.
But if you happen to pass by the director’s office, you can hear various stories.
As the years go by, the number of donors to the orphanage is getting smaller and smaller. I happened to hear that you were having trouble with management.
Actually, well… He will too. Just- Adults like daycare centers with tiny babies, so they don’t want to support places where there are kids like me who are starting to grow hair on their legs.
It’s kinda like adopting kids like that..? Again – by hitting something like an accident. It could be that he disposed of the orphanage’s property to fix it.
My director. Always… His actions and words are always harsh, but when the hyungs and I go wrong, we try to fix it somehow…
This time again- Someone died in an accident… Again, shedding tears, I was lying on my face at my desk and crying. It also hurt my heart to watch it.
…It’s a lake, well, it’s the same lake, and recently I was able to get a part-time job with flyers, so I’ve been going up and down a lot these days, getting tired of it.
I won’t go to the amusement park because I can’t ride scary things.
So I won’t be attending.
I want to help the management of the nursery school with these things when I grow older. And what am I supposed to do if I go there again…?
I’m still awkward with my classmates. I don’t have any close friends. When I was in elementary school, I just played well with the kids, but when I became a middle school student, the wall suddenly felt like the worst thing was built..?
– These days, these guys are really pretty…!
-I went to the PC room with Deokhu and played games- He was really good at it. Tier is Diamond.
-We went to a bakery together and ate delicious bread, and I posted this on social media..! Will it be delicious..?
-Wow- Where is that bakery…?! I want to go with you too.
In the old days, even with just one soccer ball, it was fun to play – but as I became a middle school student, the way I played diversified.
You need to be able to play games, you have to have money to buy bread at the bakery, you have to have a smartphone… You have to be able to play games too. ‘Cause I couldn’t do anything
Usually, this is for the low-income… Second-upper class..? They say that they support a lot of things, but there are a lot of waiting lists. Had to wait quite a bit.
And even if there are rations for that kind of thing, I give it to my older brothers and sisters first. I heard that these days even elementary school students don’t play with soccer balls and play games with their mobile phones..
I also played well in elementary school, shouldn’t these guys also play well in elementary school..? I felt that way and gave it up.
“…Jinah..! Look at this..! I sleep in a hotel…!”
“Uh… That’s right…”
-Koo woo woo…
I don’t know what happened before. Jina completely changed as a person, so many people gathered around her. Because she gathers a lot of people, she gets to talk a lot.
I also became very good at studying. Rumor has it that she won first place in the final exam this time…? You seem to be working hard these days.
It seems like you’re taking first place in every category… Every time I see something like that… My stomach hurts a bit.
That’s why, as the saying goes, when a cousin buys land, his stomach hurts. In the past, Jin-a lived much worse than me and seemed to be having a hard time, but now she wears clothes that are much more expensive than me. My grades are good, and I am good at physical education.
I’m still stuck in the gutter, but why is Jina flying high into the sky…?
…Not good
I know. When I think about it, nothing changes in my life.
“…Look at this..! I just searched on the internet… There is an aquarium and a zoo in an amusement park..! Isn’t it amazing..?!”
“Yes…”
It is uncomfortable to hear voices from the side. There are usually a lot of kids around Jin-ah, but Jin-ah sometimes looked at my face once again while talking to them, and I feel burdened by that.
That … Cinderella, who has just transformed, sees a beggar walking around her street, and she seems to sympathize with her, saying that she used to be like that too …? I feel that way too.
No, well…You don’t know what a human personality is.
Something like that. I’m high up in the sky, but seeing myself on the floor makes Jin-ah feel good inside.
Perhaps Jina has such a gloomy side.
…I can’t keep thinking that way.
I don’t know what Jina is thinking. She used to talk about all sorts of strange things together.
Now, if you talk to me once in a while, that’s it.
Is the weather nice today?
Sunah Yoo, what is your blood type?
Do you know what MBTI is?
That… I brought a game console. Do you want to play with me?
If you are interested in musicals…
Opera…?
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know…! The question Jina asked seemed too difficult to me.
I don’t like it when it’s all revealed that I really don’t have anything and I don’t have anything whenever I ask about that.
And whenever that happened, I felt so miserable and upset.
She hangs out with her own friends, why is she asking me these questions all of a sudden…? I’m thinking like that…
I don’t know.
Why am I behaving like this again…?
I’m not sure about that either.
My head is complicated.
I couldn’t sleep, but I was lying on my desk. At least they don’t talk to me when I’m face down on my desk.
Should I go on a school trip or not?
I think I was just thinking about that while lying on my desk.
Me too… To be honest, I also… I want to see Jamsil Tower, I want to go to the zoo, and I want to go to the aquarium.
I’m not good at rides, but… There’s such a thing as that atmosphere. Once in a while normally. Whether it’s just a part-time job, a used cell phone or welfare benefits, I want to put those things away for a while and have fun…
In order to do that, I… I wasn’t too confident. What should I do with my clothes if I go around right now…? That… I don’t want to wear the same clothes over and over again.
But, the situation at the nursery school is too bad to buy new clothes, and again- that… If I go on a school trip while receiving the subsidy- I think I would hate it very much for the homeroom teacher or people like that to look at me pitifully.
Also- I can’t just look around when I go- I want to buy souvenirs or something like that- I want to eat something delicious- I feel like my head is going to break.
Me too- just like the other kids, without thinking. Just going on a school trip and waiting for that… I want to live a life like that, but why… Why am I…?
Well, what clothes to wear, how to make money, and having to think about those things… It’s painful.
Should I just…Don’t go…?
I think the director will be upset if I bring up such a story- He is a person who gets more and more shadows on his face as he goes, but I don’t want to make him suffer any more.
2)
“..Yoo Seon-a’s school trip expenses. You know it’s until this week…?”
“Oh, I know”
I finally decided to go. Shall we go..? Should I? It seems that what I really worry about shows on the outside.
I’m just squatting in front of the pond and thinking- I’m glad that Yoo-jeong came and asked me if I had any concerns.
I want to go on a school trip, but I don’t know what to do.
It’s embarrassing to wear the same clothes every day, and also- it’s embarrassing to just walk around doing nothing.
I also don’t want to be looked at by the teacher as a pitiful child.
I confided to Yoo-jeong that at least once I wish I could live like everyone else-… She robbed her piggy bank and handed it to me.
With that money, including the money I had, I calculated that I could buy clothes for the weekend, money to buy souvenirs, and money to eat delicious food with that money… It seemed tight, but I could have fun.
So I cried.
Seriously, even I think about it. I was just thinking and worrying about something pathetic like an idiot, but Yoojung listened to my concerns seriously and even helped me.
Actually, I’m looking forward to it a little.
-Have a good time! Don’t forget to buy your own souvenirs-
… I still feel Yoojung’s words ringing in my ears. Thank you.. Yoo Jung-ah… I will definitely repay this grace…!
Take out the application form from the bag. …I have to take it out…?
…?
HwijeokHwijeok Mak- I searched inside my bag, but there’s nothing there.
“Huh..?”
“Today is Friday…”
“Yes, because I know-“
Jina keeps talking to her next to her. Normally, she would have just gone round and round – but today… It’s a little bit nerve-wracking.
I know it’s Friday, and I know you’re submitting your application by this Friday. I know everything. Even if you don’t bother explaining, I understand everything. …
No, because Jin-ah is the class president. She said that she had to supervise that… Her classmates…? I’m saying this out of a sense of duty.
“…Yoo Seon-ah. Help me..?”
“…Uh. Help”
You can re-write the application form- Yes. So she thought nothing of it and asked Jin-ah to help her.
Because my image to Won-che teachers is a dog-chaban-Even if I said the same thing, if Jin-ah stood by her side and helped her, it seemed that even the difficult tasks would work out.
…It’s a bit… No, it’s embarrassing, but actually… I sleep on my stomach every day at school, or I look out the window- that’s why… I don’t have any friends.
It’s embarrassing, but I eat rice alone.
Still, Jin-ah and I have known each other for a long time.
Um… I don’t talk as well as I used to, and I’m not that close, but I’m less resistant than when I’m with other kids.
“…?”
Is the teacher’s office over there?
“…Yoo Seon-ah, come here…”
And Jinah started calling me waving her hand towards the stairs going up to her rooftop.
…The door to the rooftop is blocked, so there’s nothing to go up there. Why is she calling me over there..?
She has to go to the principal’s office to get the application for the school trip. It’s strange.
That too, very carefully- if you see me sing separately by myself, something. Suspicious
A little bit, my heart is pounding, something…! Yeah, I’m sure something is going to happen.
“…If you ever need help again- in the future, let me know. I… Always have a wired side!”
A paper bag folded in half came out of the skirt pocket. Open the inside of the envelope.
Golden and green bills. I didn’t count, but it looked like 3-40.
…
Why did he give me this…? Why… Are you giving me this money…?
“…It will definitely be fun..! Let’s go to the amusement park together, go up to the sky lounge again, and eat delicious food together..!”
At Jina’s words… It feels like a puzzle has been put together in her head.
Thumping.
Feels like all the blood in your body is going to your head.
I didn’t feel joy or gratitude at Jina’s actions in front of me.
I just… I just… Feel bad.
That won’t work…
I can’t do this…!
I tore the white envelope in my hand.
“…Uh…?”
Cut into pieces so small that the shape cannot be recognized- Pieces of paper fall to the floor.
“Don’t be cocky like anything goes!”
-Pang!
I strongly pushed Jin-ah in front of me with her two hands..!
One of her heads was pushed backwards weakly by the small-sized Jin-ah and hit the wall, which began to trickle down.
I saw that… And just ran back to the class again.