My Lewd Reincarnation

Roughly half an hour ago, Angelica Dawn sat at her desk as her pen danced across several forms and files in a blur of motion. To an untrained, mortal eye, it might have looked like her hands were moving faster than they had any right to go, but such speed was nothing to a full-blooded angel like her. Nor was it anything special for a junior manager of Reincarnations Incorporated, like her. Such deft work was expected of someone who had to oversee and approve the work of a hundred reincarnation agents assigned underneath them. By all accounts, it appeared as if this was just going to be another day in her nearly five hundred years long life at the company. However, that was just wishful thinking.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

A small flashing red light lit up near the side of her desk, causing the angelic woman’s pen to stop dead in its track. The red light wasn’t really attached to anything, as it was just kind of floating a couple of inches off the surface of the desk as it let out that God-awful beeping sound, but the appearance of this light coincided with one of the most annoying things that could happen to a junior manager. It meant that one of their team members had gone overtime and was taking too long to process a client, backing up the process for everyone else.

Angelica let out an annoyed sigh as she brought her hand over to the flashing light and gave it a tap. Although the light was ethereal and had no physical matter to it, tapping the space it appeared in immediately stopped the beeping and flashing. In its place, a transparent screen appeared, taking up the view in front of her as it detailed the times and status of all one hundred of the reincarnation agents underneath her. A small text box containing the details of one of these agents, the troublemaker, was faintly glowing with a red light.

"Of course, it’s Bob…" Angelica let out another sigh once she confirmed the identity of the person who was spending too much time with a single client.

Unlike her, Bob Angelo wasn’t a full-blooded angel but a half-mortal. Many years ago, his mother had a dalliance with some mortal when she went down to one of their worlds for her vacation break and came back pregnant. Half-blooded angels weren’t uncommon, but angels that were half-mortal were actually quite rare, as most divine beings didn’t find interacting with mortals outside of work hours worth their time.

The worst thing about half-mortal angels was that they weren’t as skilled as angels that were full divine beings. Even those that were just half angel and half something else like deva or demons were better than half-mortals at most tasks working at the company required of them. Still, though, the Big Guy in charge insisted that everyone get their fair chance at work, and thus, that was how Angelica got stuck with Bob, who had been a thorn in her side ever since he was assigned to her.

Since the low-level reincarnation agents didn’t actually know that their bosses were timing their appointments, Angelica couldn’t act on the knowledge that Bob had gone over time right away. Instead, she just sat there watching as the time continued to tick up. Every second that passed without the appointment being completed caused the angelic woman to grind her teeth harder and harder.

Her team members going over time would only make her look like a worse manager and screw up the chance that she had at getting the big promotion she was looking forward to. Bob may have been an absolute failure that was only kept employed because of the Big Guy’s policies, but Angelica didn’t want to just skate by at work. She wanted to succeed and rise in the company. Her dream was to get promoted to the point where the Big Guy himself saw value in her and decided to elevate her to the status of an ascended angel.

The demons working in the basement department might have found it fun to mock angels for the desire to ascend and rid themselves of their physical shells like that. But to Angelica, who was the epitome of a full-blooded angel, there was nothing more divine and pure than the form of an ascended angel. After all, what was sexier than being two golden, glowing rings adorned with countless eyes?

Just thinking about achieving her long-desired goal sent a shiver down Angelica’s spine, but the emotions that feeling brought with it were snuffed out as she continued to watch Bob’s time rise. At this point, it was getting ridiculous. His appointment had gone on for nearly twice as long as it should have, and as such, Angelica knew it was time to finally act, that she couldn’t let it go on any longer.

The woman stood up from her desk and walked over to the wall where a simple yet elegant hat stand stood. There, resting on the hat stand, was her halo, the halo of a junior manager. Once she had adorned her head with the floating, glowing symbol of her office, the woman reached out to the blank wall. A door appeared out of thin air just as her hand reached its door knob, and without a moment’s hesitation, she threw up the door and walked straight into Bob’s office.

Angelica’s mouth dropped, and she was overcome by fury at what she saw inside the man’s office. He was completely naked and sat on the chair where the client was meant to be sitting as he huffed and puffed, catching his breath. The client was also naked but lay atop the desk. Worst of all was the fact that she was clearly crying as more than a little bit of semen leaked from her genitals.

Most full-blooded angels couldn’t have cared less about having sex, especially with mortals, and since Angelica prided herself on being like most full-blooded angels, she had never had sex herself. But still, she knew enough about such mortal affairs to know what had happened here.

"What the fuck have you done, Bob!" She cursed at him, instantly regretting it since her boss, one of the senior managers, was wholeheartedly against cursing, to the point that he had even set up a swear jar and was somehow aware of whenever someone swore, even when they were alone. Cursing was just another thing that was going to make her look bad to the big wigs upstairs.

"Ah… It’s… Um…" Bob stammered and sputtered after mumbling a curse underneath his breath. "It’s not what it looks like, boss."

"It’s not what it looks like…" Angelica repeated the man’s last words in utter disbelief. There was no other way she could have taken what she saw. It was clear to her that Bob had forced himself on one of his poor, defenceless clients. Why else would she be crying?

Since the paintings in the company offices evoked a sense of serenity and dulled all negative emotions in mortals, the woman had to be feeling quite powerful emotions to still be crying. That begged the question, just how rough and forceful had Bob been? He was really in for it now. None of the Big Guy’s policies would save him from what was coming his way after this mess had been sorted out. Maybe, just maybe she would finally be free of him.

"Yeah, we were-" Bob tried to explain himself as he sheepishly went over and picked up his clothes. However, he was cut off by the stern voice of his boss.

"Shut up, and go to my office! Wait for me there. I’ll fix your mess and then… I’ll have to send this up the ladder." Angelica’s shouts turned into a sigh. Internally, she was cursing the day Bob was assigned to her because she knew this fiasco would completely ruin any chance she had of getting that promotion. As a manager, the actions of your subordinates were your responsibility, for good or for worse.

Once his clothes were all bundled up in his arms, Bob scurried away through the doorway that his boss had come through. After he had left, the door shut by itself and vanished into thin air.

Angelica looked at the naked woman laying on the desk and let out another sigh. The mortal woman was still crying profusely and needed to be soothed before being reincarnated, lest the turbulent emotions she was feeling affect her decision-making in the reincarnation process. To that end, Angelica walked over to one of the paintings adorning the walls and turned up their anti-emotion field all the way to the max setting. Now it wouldn’t just be subduing just the negative emotions, but practically all others as well. This would leave the mortal woman with nothing but an overpowering sense of calmness so she could make the choices to come rationally.

The mortal woman instantly reacted to this and stopped crying. As the naked woman got off the desk, Angelica then clicked her fingers and made a new modest white dress appear on the woman. Underneath, of course, was similar bland white underwear like she had been wearing when she came here, and the mess that Bob had made inside her was completely cleaned up.

While the woman was left calmly looking down at the clothes that had miraculously reappeared on her body, Angelic found her way to the manilla folder that had been haphazardly pushed onto the floor. Several of the files within the folder had fallen out when it was pushed off the desk, but the angelic woman was easily able to collect them before taking a seat at the desk. Once there she gestured for the client to take a seat again.

"So… Evelyn Hart." Angelica quickly gave the files a once over. "You have my heartfelt apology for what happened to you here. Bob should have never laid a finger on you. I want you to know that I will make sure that he gets severely punished for this."

"It’s cool." Evelyn just shrugged as she sat there with a dopey expression on her face. However, the angel in front of her just ignored her words.

Angelica knew that when the serenity paintings were turned up to their maximum setting, mortals could get a bit weird. It didn’t impact their decision-making or personality in the slightest, but it inhibited their ability to process things that were happening to them on a deeper level. Most likely this Evelyn woman wasn’t fully aware of what had just happened to her as the inability to feel emotion was stopping her from doing little more than acknowledging what happened. As such, the angelic woman just continued on with the reincarnation appointment that Bob should have done, not her.

"It appears from a quick glance at your files that you have only just achieved the necessary points to get a positive reincarnation." Angelic mused aloud with a big, warm, customer service smile stretched across her lips. "But after what happened, I think we can give you a much better deal. After all, it's the least we can do to apologise for the lack of professionalism you were shown."

The angel took a moment to pause and think through just what kind of packaged deal she could give to this client. But since what had happened to the client was so incredibly bad, she knew that her boss would understand if she was more than a little generous here. No client, no matter who they were, should have ever gone through such an ordeal. When it came to restoring the department's reputation and making reparations, she was sure her boss would wholeheartedly understand what she was thinking of doing for this woman. Hopefully, that would at least offset some of the fury he felt when he heard about what happened.

"Here's what I’ll do." Angelic flourished her hand as she said this, causing a clipboard and pen to materialise in them, which she immediately slid over to the woman sitting on the other side of the desk. "I’m going to give you the full, no-holds-barred reincarnation package. It’s the deluxe deal, top of the line. There's nothing better than it out there. You get to decide all the details you want of your next life; just fill out any of the boxes you want a say in and out people will make it happen to the best of our ability."

Evelyn tentatively flipped through a couple of the pages, giving them a good look before she even so much as picked up the pen. However, once she put pen to paper, she started to scrawl line after line in a fervent hurry. 

Angelica was a little taken aback by this. Although the mortal woman’s decision-making wasn’t impacted by the overwhelming sense of serenity, she must have been quite pleased by the choices and options before her to still be able to react in that manner.

"I should warn you," Angelica spoke up after a few seconds of just silently watching the client fill out the forms of the deluxe reincarnation package. "We can’t guarantee what kind of life you will have, just starting stuff, world details and a few fated encounters. Part of the reason for this is that mortals tend to drift away from anything we try and arrange for them. It’s entirely possible that we could even set up a fated encounter for you only to have you turn around and walk in the other direction before you even lay eyes on it."

"I see…" Evelyn mumbled as she paused her frantic scribbling for a second. After a slight moment to think, she then began to fill out the forms once more, just as fast as before.

Eventually, the woman finished the last page, gave it all a final once over, and corrected any mistakes. After that, she handed the clipboard back and said. "I’m done."

"Are you sure there’s nothing else in here you would like? Once I send it away from processing, there is no changing your mind." Angelica asked as she took a quick inquisitive glance through the woman’s forms, which caused her mouth to drop open.

Eveyln’s desired reincarnation was an extensive list of demands, some of which were quite unusual. One of which was that she didn’t want to be reincarnated through the usual cycle and have to go through childhood. Instead, she just wanted to be dropped off in a new world and in a new body. One that was already that of an adult so she could get right to the… fucking, or at least that was how the client had worded it. 

Among the various things she wanted, there was a clear theme that emerged. As it turned out, Evelyn was rather perverted and was apparently planning to spend her next life having a gratuitous amount of sex in what she described as a sexy as hell body made to be a perfect fuck toy.

It was becoming clear to Angelica that the earlier scene may not have been exactly what she thought it was. But even if Bob wasn’t the one that initiated what they did or forced himself upon her, he should have never had sex with a client. That was an extremely poor decision on his part and one that reflected poorly on the company. But nonetheless, Eveyln would still get the deluxe reincarnation package now that she had been promised it. An angel’s word was their bond, after all.

"I’m sure, that is exactly what I want," Evelyn gave her final confirmation.

"Very well, then. Your new life awaits you." Angelica gave the client one last happy smile as she clicked her fingers.

Both Evelyn and her reincarnation forms instantly vanished from sight and were sent to be processed, leaving the angelic woman alone in her subordinate's office. One last sigh escaped Angelica’s lips as she stood up and made her way back out to her own office to give Bob a good long yelling at, the likes of which would leave him emotionally scarred for years to come.