ALL NOVEL ch.23: Goals of Worry
The next day I made my way to that wolf eared woman behind the black counter, I needed to talk with my counselor. I thought since she dealed with the mind, I could learn something, anything about my supposed instincts. Maybe I could learn how to control it or at least direct it like an animal with food. I wasn’t going to wait and be told about something, only to let it get outta of hand later. Maybe it could lead to better controlling my mana too, maybe if dragons are the apex then their instincts demanded servitude of any not one.
“Hello mighty Dragoness, is there something you needed?” she asked. Her body was pretty stiff and her ears seemed twitch with strained effort. I felt bad but if it meant I could be better temper myself or get even a small idea then it’d be worth it.
“Hello, I was hoping to meet with my counselor Miss Lavigne or set up an appointment with her.” I told her, sounding a little urgent.
“May I get your name?” she said trying to stay professional but her lower lip trembled. Her eyes seemed to either be a mix of fear (?) maybe anger? I didn’t know.
“Oh, it’s Oliver Roberts.” I said realizing I should’ve lead with introductions first.
“Thank you, please wait a moment.” She said turning to her computer, typing away. Hopefully I can get this problem resolved so everyone doesn’t have to feel my mana or at least keep these instincts in check. “It seems she is available for an hour, if you would like you can meet with her in the waiting room, mighty dragoness.” She said sounding calmer than before. It seemed that she managed to collect herself after I told her name but she still used that annoying title instead of calling me by my name. Yet my mind thought otherwise, I could tell it believed this was important.
Walking into the waiting room I spotted the chair I sat in last time I was here. It was a little smaller reminding me of those awful small toilets some restroom had. The thought made me quickly look for a larger chair, finding an egg shaped chair near a wall, I poked it with my tail. I was curious how these chairs worked with tailed races, no one was around so I tried to sit in it. It was like that wheelchair I sat in at the hospital. A good amount of space for my tail to curl around to the front buuuut I kinda wanted to hang my tail on the side of the chair thinking it’d look kinda cool. But I quickly found out that my tail doesn’t bend far enough, it was no lamia tail and I don’t think I’m a snake dragon. Being defeated by my own anatomy I curled my tail around my lap as I waited.
Now that I looked at my tail, I saw how the orange crystal scales covered the top and sides, actually the tip of my tail is pretty much covered in these scales. If these scales are as hard as they look then I could easily imagine them really hurting whoever they hit… maybe even cutting them open. I cringed at the thought of actually gutting someone, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt someone let alone kill someone. If I let these instincts go without trying to handle them, then I might be putting people in more danger a lot faster than I thought. I think I’ll have to be a little more cautious going forward, there’s no telling what could lead to something bad happening.
“Hello Oliver, trying out one of our newer chairs for lamia this time?” came a sweet and patient voice. Looking to the door I saw Miss Lavigne slowly walking over to me. “I’ve heard these chairs make for a perfect lamia cushion.” She chuckled. It seemed she was in more control of her actions yet for some reason every step she took sounded like a heartbeat that echoed into the world.
“Hello, Miss Lavigne. I was hoping to talk to you about…” I hesitated looking at my clawed fingers, black, a slight curve and sharp like a cutting knife. “Myself I suppose.” I finished more lost in thought. When did I manage to move my hands so easily? I still poke myself sometimes but it kinda feels different…
“Well, lets get to my office first. Shall we?” she said with a relaxed, ‘follow me’ motion with her hand. As I followed her I noticed something about her tall horns, it seemed like they were sparking (?) that looked transparent like a glass. It didn’t look to be hurting her but something about it looked bad?
Once in her office I took my seat, looking around I could see things were more or less the same as last time. There was a new photo on her wall with a picture of a blue succubus holding a large trophy that looked three times her size. The trophy had little statues of people in the middle of a dive. The blue girl was wearing some type of one piece swim suit that looked like shorts but had two slit like openings at the hips that looked to get bigger going to her back. I could see her wings poking from behind her above her hips, which were posed similar to how people put their fists on the hips. The wings themselves looked to be made of a shiny black material and reminded me of either ink or a type of plastic maybe.
I thought a succubus would be in more lewd clothing but not something that looked like a bodysuit. Plus the way Emily talked about succubi I thought they wore more clothes related to being sexy or aroused attraction.
Noticing my eyes on her photo, Miss Lavigne gave a small smile. “My niece just won that beauty after doing a wing spiral dive at eleven meters, last Friday. She’s such the tomboy!” She said like it was the sweetest cutest thing ever. But something about being a tomboy sounded more like that was the achievement. Almost like being born handsome or winning the lottery and not having the genes for a disease.
“Oh… she sounds very capable to win a trophy that big.” I said still thinking to myself. My eyes were still on her wings, I found myself having some respect for them.
“Yes, she’s quite able bodied to move in freefall like this, the cutie even started with a jumping twist before pulling her wings out.” She said with an amused smirk, before leaning closer. “She’s quite the show off, getting all those people to look at her elegant movements. Oh I’m sure a few became admirers of her’s.” she said with the knowing look of a mother. She even quickly licked her upper lip as if she just had a tasty snack. Where succubi only interested in feeding their sexual needs? Was this their version of calling for takeout?
“So succubi only focus on getting a meal?” I asked more speaking out my thoughts.
“Nope.” She said with a smile, her voice her sounded happy I asked. “I wouldn’t be a counselor if all I cared about was sex. I’d be working full time at in the epulum instead of here, feasting on all the people willing to pay to feed me.” She chuckled. But when she said feasting the transparent sparking around her horns sped up for a second. “All succubi chase after something important to them. For my niece, it’s water sports while I follow after my career as a counselor.” She said looking at me with a happy face full of reminiscence.
“Wait what about people who haven’t converged into a succubus then?” I asked thinking of Emily. She wasn’t a succubus yet but she already had an… obsession? Maybe a bigger goal?
“For them, it’s a little more different…but I think it’s best to ask them about it then asking about your classmates.” She said with a sparkle in her eyes. She realized I was trying to ask about Emily.
“I guess you’re right. So then, the reason I wanted to meet with you is because I keep finding out about things, things this body comes with. And some of them I only learn about after something goes wrong.” I said stopping to find the right words to say. “For one is these instincts nudging my thoughts towards certain actions?” I said unsure of where I should take this conversation.
“Well it takes many a long time to adjust to their new converged body and that may be longer if there is a change in gender. As for instincts, they generally act as a leading hand, mostly helping you adjust to your new body. In most cases it’s tied to your deeper desires and needs as a monster.” She said rather calmly like it was Tuesday.
“But I’m a dragon! These instincts would probably make me kiss my own ass if it wasn’t attached.” I argued. No way would I choose to laugh at Mr. Minnow or seek to play with my friends’ emotions or feel good about being powerful! “These instincts are leading me around like it wants something, is this really how dragons are? Am I cursed to seek to fulfil these desires to be dominating?” I asked in frustration almost jumping out of my seat. My body began to heat up, even these crystal scales started to glow faintly like a soft flame. Miss Lavigne leaned back into her chair her eyes widening in fear. Seeing this, I took a breath focusing on the air around me, this relaxed my muscles as my shoulders lowered. I couldn’t blow up on someone trying to help me adjust, just need to relax.
Relaxing from my outburst, Miss Lavigne fixed her shirt and sat up straight even her horns that were sparking at a rapid rate began to slow down. It was like she became a plasma orb, thick strings of electricity like movements crossed between her horns. “I-I see.” She started but her first ‘I’ sounded almost orgasmic. “And neither of your parents are different monster races either and you don’t look wrong either. So you can’t be a hybrid.” She said to herself. “The hard truth is, we don’t know enough about dragons be sure. This could be anything, you could be failing to meet one of your needs as a dragon perhaps?” she said looking me in the eyes.
“Needs? What do you mean?” I asked, starting to realize there’s more to worry about. I knew there could be more but I really wish there wasn’t more.
“Well for example, succubi need to act sexual every now and then. You could call it part of our distressing process. Oni need to time to meditate, fasting from all sweets and meat once a month to clear their system and re-focus their minds.” She said giving me a couple of examples, after thinking for a moment her eyes lit up. “Wyverns, certain bird monsters and a decent number of reptile races need to have shiny things. Some of them prefer reflective while others gather a select number. Maybe you need to do something like this!” she said snapping her fingers with face full of certainty.
“Guess dragons do collect things after all. Amassing a huge hoard of jewels, gold and other precious and rare metals.” I said rubbing my chin with my knuckle. I could even feel my mind madly nodding in agreement and full of want. Dragons always had either a kingdom, a castle or a mountain full of gold. Looking back at Miss Lavigne, I saw her face was twisting from confusion to intense interest to full surprise. “Is something wrong?” I asked worried she was having some disease related attack.
“How did you know that? Is that even true? But you are a dragon now so I guess your instincts are telling you this?” she said looking at me intently as she started to play with her lips like a flirty teen. It was a little distracting to see her do this… okay it was very distracting. It was like she found her next rich boyfriend, how could she go from motherly to flirty teen like an actor playing multiple roles in a play? “You know, you might be one of the rare few to converge into an actual dragon and I’m lucky enough to have you as someone to talk to about undocumented instincts.” She said with a large toothy hungry smile that might even spook a tiger.
“But don’t you think publishing or releasing such info might make any dragons target you?” I asked. I’ve seen this at a business scale, hiding information long enough to get an edge over their completion. Some companies have even leveraged their weight to discredit or silence the advancement of certain technology just to keep making money. Who’s to say a dragon might do something similar or far worse? They might even target me for being the source.
Miss Lavigne froze as her smile slowly disappeared, turning into a tightly pressed frown. “You’re right…” she said thoughtfully. She then bobbed her head like listening to music. “I don’t need to publish anything though, just learning about the mind of a dragon is enough for me.” She said with a cute smile. Huh, I guess succubi only care about one thing, achieving their own goals. “Besides, then I’d be violating your confidentiality and I could lose my credentials. So I won’t be giving either of us this kind of issues.” She said coolly.
After a moment, Miss Lavigne straightened her skirt and fixed some loose hair before motioning for me to continue.
“I’m worried these instincts are making me subconsciously expel my mana into having an intimidating effect on the world.” I said focusing on the original topic.
“Well of course they are. I did say they lead you into better understanding your body better.” She said pausing for a moment. “Has your mother had any issues with your mana?” she asked.
“No, not that I recall. She’s been her same relaxed and easy going self that I remember.” I said. Wait my mother hasn’t been having any issues with my mana, even when at school she didn’t seem scared or worried.
“Then that means your instincts aren’t always releasing mana, at least not her presence. Then that means you have at least a good relationship with her, otherwise you’d be trying to dominate her too.” She said with a happy nod.
“Then that means I can control my mana…if I have a good relationship with the whole school?” I said more to myself. That didn’t seem very possible to happen with how my mana made people scared. This just made me frown, was I going to always made friends with everyone whenever I change locations? Or switch jobs?
“No, you don’t need to go that far. That’s why you’re training with Jaque. I saw you used breathing to calm down, removing the mana charge you were building up. Even the mana around you was getting a little thinner.” She said with a calm voice as she folded her fingers together. I guess I just need to focus on my training then…
After we finished talking she told me to meet with her again next week to see how I was doing and to talk more about my convergence. She also said I should try out a flying class next week too. I didn’t want to but seeing my doubtful face she reminded me that this might be related to my instinct’s needs. I hated this but if the chance of controlling my instincts and mana was possible then I had to try. So I told her to sign me up for the first class next week.
Walking out of the office and back into the main entrance area, something shiny got my attention on the billboard students used to advertise different things. There was posters for an upcoming play, it was a bright red with a sad looking rose. It called the ‘Repose of Rose Tears’ in a very swirly font. Another was for a club (?) it said ‘come and join the Demon’s Coccus where you can further the advancement of mana development. Must be a slime to be a full time member.’ It then had a picture of a slime shinning victorious above a downed goblin. Another smaller poster called for people interested in trotting down to the lake trail. This one even had a drawing of two girls with long ears, one looked like rabbit ears and the other was… cow maybe horse ears?
But the poster that got my attention was outlined in a shiny gold trimming, a bold blue boarder at the top with a greenish white for the rest. It was really pretty and would glow and glitter like a light up sign or a TV display. I kinda wanted to take it, my whole body really liked the sparkles and glitter effects but then I read the header and it made me frown. It read, “Down with the Orange Dragon menace!” Reading the rest I found it more and more frustrating. “This dragon is trying to force her way of life onto all at the school! The student body must band together under the Church of Chevalier D’OR to push back against this living disaster before the school is warped into its But Ultime! We must keep this parasite from draining us of our justice and sanctity, less we fall to our darkest envie!” It then asked to swipe right to read more.
What the hell? I didn’t want anyone to do anything for me! I’d rather people ignore my presence then get all horny in front of me! Sighing to myself, I realized that my focus might be divided with this church and figuring out my mana. Damn it! I just wanted to focus on getting a better life and all of this stuff keeps popping up. What’s next something actually fitting my description of a monster appearing too? Shaking my head I left to my class, this world seems to pull you into its twisted views rather easily.
