My Younger Sister Was My First Love

11. Where are you looking?

“Suddenly?”

I was having trouble following the context, but I finally noticed the purple planner in Jihee’s hand.

“……Were we talking about studying?”

“Yes! I’ll do exactly as oppa wrote down this morning, so…….”

Jihee bowed her head, her hands clasped together.

“Can’t I just study at home?”

Her dark brown eyes stared at me intensely.

It didn’t look like she was joking.

Instead, her expression was almost desperate.

I took off my shoes and stepped into the entrance hall.

“Let’s talk again while eating dinner.”

“Okay!”

“I’ll do it soon. Just wait a bit.”

I headed to the kitchen with a bag, putting away the groceries in the refrigerator one by one.

The dinner menu I brought was samgyeopsal (pork belly).

It’s not a difficult dish to cook in itself.

I took off my outerwear, washed my hands, and started preparing the food right away.

“Do you want to help me?”

Today’s Jihee, or rather, Jihee after coming home, was like a puppy that couldn’t stop lingering in front of me, always keeping snacks nearby.

“Just go sit down.”

“Should I set the table for you?”

“Yeah, you can set the table and rice.”

Jihee seemed to be happy to do something, humming a tune as she quickly set the table.

“I’ll eat well!”

“I’ll eat well!”

Jihee said it in a high tone.

I said it in a low tone.

The habitual greeting that had become stiff over time wasn’t unpleasant.

I didn’t realize it, but it seemed that these moments had a different significance because I was used to eating alone for a long time.

“So, oppa.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you think about what I said earlier?”

It was about registering for a private academy.

“I think it’s right to do what you want, Jihee. I said the same thing before I left.”

“Don’t talk like you’re some stranger who doesn’t care. We’re family.”

Jihee raised an eyebrow, looking dissatisfied with my nonchalant response.

“Well… to be honest, even if I think about it again, it seems like entering the academy is the best option.”

“If I do exactly what you said, oppa?”

“But it’s really hard to stick to it with a high probability.”

Many famous instructors have emphasized this, and I agree, but what’s important in studying is ‘consistency’.

You can’t just focus on one area and get high scores.

What’s absolutely necessary is training and repetition.

Only a few students can voluntarily push through the dull and tedious process.

“What if I really do it?”

“Yeah?”

“If I really do it every day without a break………”

Jihee’s lips quivered.

“Then can’t I do it at home?”

“Yeah, that’s possible.”

“Then I’ll try it at home.”

“Can you really do it?”

“There’s a condition!”

The word ‘condition’ raised a question mark.

You’re the one studying, Ji-hee.

Why are you attaching a condition to me?

“Oppa will check on me every day.”

“What?”

“If I did it right or not. If I didn’t do it right, you’ll scold me and punish me too.”

Is this some kind of teacher-student relationship?

“But if I scold you, you’ll just listen to me.”

I wondered if that would really be effective.

Originally, scolding is more effective when done by someone with authority.

In the case of a private academy, the pressure of ‘tuition fees’ can be so overwhelming that it’s hard to breathe.

“Unconditionally!”

Ji-hee, who had put down her chopsticks, smiled brightly.

“I’ll do whatever Oppa says, unconditionally.”

“Then why didn’t you listen to me when I told you to go to the academy…?”

“No, no, no! Take that back!”

Ji-hee’s anger flared up, and she started to wrap a lettuce leaf with an excessive amount of meat, garlic, and chili peppers.

“Ah.”

I thought she would give it to me, but Ji-hee’s hands were heading towards her own mouth.

“Are you eating it?”

“Yes. This is a bribe. Since Oppa promised to check on me, I’m giving you a bribe.”

“Is it confirmed that you’ll do it at home, then?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, but I have to be with Oppa at home.”

“What’s so good about being with me?”

“Let me ask you instead. Do you dislike being with me?”

It wasn’t that I disliked it.

The problem was the opposite.

I needed to restrain myself from seeing Ji-hee as just a friend.

“It’s not that I dislike it…….”

As soon as I answered, Ji-hee shoved the wrapped lettuce into my mouth.

“See? I want to get closer to Oppa.”

“Why?”

The wrapping was so big that my pronunciation was muffled.

“Because we’re family. I hate it when family members are distant from each other.”

That statement was a cheat.

It turned all my worries into trivial matters.

“Don’t you think we should get to know each other better, since we’ll be seeing each other for a long time, until we die?”

It seemed like the right thing to say, but it sent shivers down my spine.

“Forever” and “until I die” – those were phrases that seemed only suitable for lovers who promised eternity.

“Oppa, make me a snack too.”

I placed a lettuce leaf on my hand at Jihee’s request, trying to make it exactly like the one she had made before.

“I don’t put garlic in my snack.”

Jihee stopped my chopsticks with her index finger.

“See? I learned one more thing about you.”

I put the garlic back and finished making the snack, feeding it to Jihee.

Jihee’s happy face, her mouth watering, was ridiculously cute.

Was it really okay to feel this fluttery about getting to know my little sister?

The thought of sticking together at home every day made my head spin.

* * *

My regular calls with Mom continued as promised before I left the country.

As the scheduled time approached, I locked my door and placed my phone on the charger.

Soon, the notification alarm rang, and I swiped the screen to the right.

[Hello?]

[Joonho!]

Behind Mom, I could see the two bedrooms in their house.

Just as expected, the house where Mom and Dad lived had a mid-century, two-story feel to it, like something out of a drama.

They had shown me around the house via video call a few days ago, and it was indeed enormous.

A house with a yard – if I lived in Seoul, it would be a luxury I might never experience in my lifetime.

[Yeah, Mom.]

[Are you doing well?]

[Yeah, nothing much. Same old, same old.]

I hadn’t started school yet, so my daily routine hadn’t changed much.

[Are you nervous about going to school?]

[What’s there to be nervous about? School is just school.]

I couldn’t deny the faint sense of anticipation, but it wasn’t enough to make me nervous.

On the contrary, being at home felt more unsettling.

[Is everything okay with Jihee?]

Although it was a predetermined sequence of events, my mouth went dry as soon as Jihee’s name came up.

[Yeah.]

[When you were at home, did it seem like you were studying well? You sounded very confident when we last talked, so it seemed okay to Mom.]

The words “Mom, Jihee’s average score is 6! Do you think she’ll make it?” lingered on my lips, but for me, filial duty came before the truth.

My behavior pattern was to make Mom think I was doing well so she wouldn’t worry about coming back home.

My mouth naturally spilled out a lie.

“Yeah, I’ll take care of it and manage everything, so it’s okay. I didn’t even study with a plan and schedule like yesterday.”

“Ah, Junho, you must be suffering a lot. If it’s too much for you, tell Mom! Mom will talk to Jihee and see if going back to the academy is okay.”

Even though it seemed like Mom only cared about Jihee, she never forgot to consider my position.

I couldn’t say anything because she was too kind.

If I had any complaints, I would have burst out immediately.

“Yeah, I’ll talk if I need to.”

“Yeah, are you eating well?”

“I’m getting better at cooking because I’ve been doing it so much.”

“Really? Are you better than Mom now?”

“I was already better than Mom…”

The conversation with Mom ended with some casual chatter for about 10 minutes.

Still, it seemed like Mom was doing well, which was a relief.

Her life in the US seemed enjoyable too.

As I opened the door and came back into the living room, the first thing that caught my attention was the feet.

“I Jihee.”

As I called out the owner’s name, the big toe on that foot reflexively curled and uncurled.

“What?”

“Why are you out here in the living room?”

“It’s break time now, isn’t it?”

I tilted my head to check the clock and immediately understood.

It was already this late?

“Yeah, sorry.”

“But, oppa, come here quickly.”

“Why?”

As I asked and approached, Jihee tapped the couch next to her, as if telling me to sit down.

“I’m tired. I’m exhausted.”

“Studying is originally hard, isn’t it?”

“I need a pillow.”

“Do you want a cushion?”

As I reached for the cushion on the corner of the couch, Jihee grabbed my pants leg, as if telling me not to.

“Oppa, can you be my pillow?”

“…Really?”

“Aren’t Dad and Grandma the ones who would do this for you unconditionally?”

Is that so?

I don’t know about Dad, but Mom would have done it unconditionally, I think.

Whatever it is, I’m the one who promised to take on the role of a parent.

Although I wasn’t thrilled, I gently lifted Jihee’s head and placed it on my thigh.

As expected, a strange, fluttering feeling started to rise.

As I bowed my head, my eyes met Jihee’s, and I couldn’t help but say…

“Hmm~”

My body stiffened at the playful tone of her voice.

Jihee’s expression seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.

“Oppa’s thighs are softer than I thought.”

“If you just needed something soft, a couch would’ve been enough.”

“No, that won’t heal me.”

Jihee’s hand slowly rose into the air, and I suspected its destination was my face.

I thought about what she was going to do, but I didn’t stop her.

“Why? Why?”

“Oppa, you have a beard.”

“Huh?”

“Right here. It’s scratchy.”

Jihee rubbed my chin with her index finger, then started giggling to herself.

“It feels amazing.”

“Men usually have it. What’s the big deal.”

“I’ve never touched a man’s beard before.”

“If you asked, wouldn’t most guys let you touch it?”

If Jihee asked, guys who worshipped her would probably let her touch it without hesitation.

“I don’t want to. Why touch someone who’s not family?”

Discomfort.

I couldn’t define my feelings with just one word.

I couldn’t accept it, yet I couldn’t deny it either.

I didn’t want to touch someone who wasn’t family.

“Have you touched other girls’ chins, Oppa?”

Jihee asked while continuing to touch my chin.

“No? You never had the chance, but don’t you think it’s weird to want to touch other girls’ chins?”

“Is that so? But there are people with unique tastes in the world. Isn’t wanting to touch someone’s chin normal?”

I didn’t think so, but Jihee seemed open-minded about this.

“I still don’t think I want to touch someone’s chin desperately.”

I thought my personal taste was normal.

Men are generally interested in certain body parts, after all….

My gaze, which had been on Jihee’s face, slowly moved downward.

Past her slender chin and onto her pure white neck.

And below that….

“Oppa, what are you looking at?”

I could confidently say this was the most tense moment of the year.