My Younger Sister Was My First Love

17. Is That Me?

The distance from school to home is about 30 minutes.

Round-trip, it’s an hour.

It’s not a short or long distance, but going back and forth is definitely a hassle.

“Are you back?”

As soon as I got home, Jihee burst out of their room.

“Do you still have time to study?”

“No, it’s already past 5 o’clock.”

The clock was pointing exactly to 5:01.

I was definitely checking the clock in minute units.

Until the very end, I had to focus to make the most of my study time.

I swallowed the nagging words that had risen to my throat and pushed them back down.

“How was school? Was it fun?”

Dongsaeng, wearing gray sweatpants and a mini T-shirt, threw themselves onto the couch and asked me.

“It was just…like the start of a new semester in high school. Same old, same old.”

I exchanged numbers with my peers.

For some reason, since I’m a repeater, the ratio of younger peers was much higher than those of the same age.

“But what about the welcoming party? Are you not going?”

“I’m going to eat with you at home and then go out.”

“Then just say you’re going to play and come back. Why did you come home?”

“……You said you were waiting for me.”

I repeated Jihee’s words, but why did I feel embarrassed?

Something felt awkward.

“……Yeah?”

With an ambiguous gaze, she replied in that tone, making the atmosphere even more mysterious.

Jihee, who had gotten up from the sofa, grabbed my wrist.

As I looked at her with a “what’s up?” expression, she smiled bashfully and sat me down beside her.

“I have something to tell my oppa.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a big deal.”

What could have happened in that short time?

I felt a lump in my throat.

“My oppa isn’t here, so I’m bored.”

As tension was building up, I let out a hollow laugh.

“What’s there to be bored about? You’re going to study all day at home anyway.”

“I’m bored. It’s break time, and there’s no one to talk to.”

“I didn’t talk to anyone for almost a year when I was in school.”

“I’m not your oppa. And why do you deny that I’m bored?”

She had nothing to say to that.

Jihee still held my wrist, and with her other hand, she tapped my palm with her fingernails, as if writing a letter.

When I observed it closely, it spelled out “b-o-r-e-d”.

“Did you study well? Is there something you don’t know? If you say so, I’ll eat and then look into it for you.”

“If I say there are 100 things I don’t know, will you not go?”

“I’ll still go, but I’ll make sure to show my face even if it’s late.”

I had somehow made a promise with Minju and was in a state where I couldn’t not go.

“Ah, right. Now that I think about it, I had something fun happen today?”

Jihee blinked her eyes twice at my mention of something fun.

“I met a friend from elementary school.”

“At school?”

“Yeah. They’re a senior in our department.”

“Wow. I guess that kind of thing can happen in real life too?”

“That’s what I said. But at first, I couldn’t recognize them because their face had changed so much.”

“It’s possible if you haven’t seen them since elementary school. Ten years can change a person, after all.”

Jihee also seemed to understand, nodding her head with a knowing look.

“We met after a long time, and they’d become really pretty.”

“……Really?”

Although I asked with a smile, the response I got back lacked any amusement.

Was the conversation not fun?

Still, it seemed like we had become close enough to share these small, everyday stories.

“Yeah. Whatever.”

I unnecessarily scratched the back of my head.

“So, is that person calling you to go there too?”

“No, it’s not like that. The student council member was urging us to go, and our classmates were saying let’s go have fun too.”

Jihee’s lips drew a straight line.

It seemed like my younger sibling was thinking deeply, then suddenly blurted out a single word.

“……Picture.”

“Huh?”

“Show me the picture. That noona.”

“I don’t have her picture, though?”

“Don’t you have anything on SNS or KakaoTalk?”

Jihee, who had transformed into a prickly cat, held out her hands as if demanding I hand over my phone.

“Just for a second?”

It was obvious that we weren’t friends like we were in the Starplanet idol group, and even if we were, it would only be on KakaoTalk……

“Ah, it’s here.”

As soon as I finished speaking, Jihee snatched my phone away like a prosecutor seizing evidence.

“Hmm~”

Jihee scrutinized Minju’s profile picture like a detective, even zooming in to examine it in detail.

She scrolled through the screen several times, repeating the zooming and resizing, before reaching a conclusion.

“It’s been edited!”

Jihee, like a stern judge, slammed her fist onto her palm.

“But in reality, she looks similar. Actually, she looks even better in person than in the picture.”

It wasn’t that Minju was covering for me as a friend; it was just my honest opinion.

What else was the problem, anyway?

As I expressed my genuine opinion, Jihee slightly lifted her hips and scooted closer to me.

An ominous feeling began to creep up on me.

“Ah, so you were that excited? You met your old friend, and she’s become really pretty?”

“I wasn’t excited or anything. It just happened. That’s all.”

Jihee brought her index finger to my upper lip, as if telling me to be quiet.

The distance between our faces narrowed, and our foreheads almost touched.

“It’s frustrating. You didn’t often say she was pretty when you met your first love again.”

Wait a minute.

The comment.

The comment was too much.

The distance between us had shrunk, and the unique scent of her shampoo tickled my nose.

The word “first love” was like a landmine.

I could feel my face flushing in an instant.

“No, I think it’s awkward if I say something like that to you. We had something in the past, so……”

“Then is it weird if I tell oppa he’s cool?”

“That’s different.”

“I like receiving compliments from you. It’s even better when family members praise me.”

“Alright, alright! Just a minute!”

I couldn’t bear the situation itself, so I turned my head to the opposite side and closed my eyes tightly.

Wow, I was really going to suffocate.

Jihee’s lips curled up on one side, as if she found my current state amusing.

“Praise me quickly.”

“I’ll do it. I’ll do it, so it’s fine.”

“Do it now.”

This was like a surprise worship session from my younger sister.

What kind of situation was this?

“……Jihee, you’re pretty.”

It was a fact that everyone knew, but it was a painful truth that came out without any sincerity.

“Be more specific. What exactly?”

“Do I have to say it that clearly?”

“You liked me, oppa. It wasn’t because we talked a lot or had compatible personalities. You liked me solely because of my appearance, right?”

The sofa had suddenly transformed into an electric chair.

Every time Jihee spoke, I felt a jolt of electricity, and my hands and feet trembled.

“No. That’s right, but……”

“So tell me. What exactly did you like about me?”

Mom.

I did something wrong.

Please come home quickly.

My dry mouth managed to squeeze out a short, small voice.

“……Eyes.”

“Eyes?”

“Yes. I thought your eyes were pretty.”

The phrase “your eyes are pretty” was ironically spoken while looking down at the floor.

“……Really?”

I should get out of here quickly.

Eating quickly and leaving seemed to be better for my mental health.

“Jihee, I’ll eat.”

That was the moment.

With a snapping sound, Jihee’s two hands grasped my cheeks.

Forcing me to turn my head towards her, Jihee stared intensely into my eyes.

“Why. Why are you doing this?”

“You said you liked my eyes.”

Ah.

The tremble that shouldn’t be felt between family members had finally arrived.

“Just look for 10 seconds.”

Jihee didn’t say a word after that and just stared at my eyes for 10 seconds.

Was it really just 10 seconds?

Every moment felt excessively long.

Her flawless, snow-white skin had a faint peach color.

The two eyes that had stolen my young heart still shone brightly, without losing their luster.

What do you even want?

The atmosphere between siblings playing and having fun was too…much.

“Done! That’s it!”

When Jihee took her hand off my cheek, I could finally remember how to breathe.

“What’s the point of doing this?”

I could feel my face burning without even looking in the mirror.

“Building camaraderie?”

“Who builds camaraderie like this?”

“You’re supposed to do what the other person likes to become close, right? Am I wrong?”

I got 7 or 8 grades, but there was a reason why I was exceptionally good at Korean.

Jihee’s linguistic abilities were incredibly fast.

“No, it wasn’t good. Don’t do it.”

“Really? Don’t you think my eyes are pretty anymore? Do you think I’ve become uglier than in high school?”

Jihee pretended to cry, looking pitiful.

“Ha… let’s eat.”

Eat prohibition.

I never thought the day would come when I’d use this on Jihee.

I turned my back on Jihee, who was being difficult, and headed to the kitchen.

I need to get out and drink soon.

Alcohol is urgently needed.

Being sober in this house is too harsh.

The more I’m with Jihee, the more I feel like I’m going crazy.

It would be better if I just crossed the line and had a straightforward conversation.

Like making overt sexual advances or having excessive skinship.

But that’s not it. This is…

I’m like this just because we locked eyes for 10 seconds…

I kept muttering “don’t do it” but couldn’t explain why.

“I’ll go.”

After finishing my meal as quickly as possible, I solved a few problems Jihee asked me to and put on my shoes.

“Yeah, have fun and come back.”

“I’ll come back soon.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

Jihee waved goodbye with the same pose as in the morning.

I quickly headed to the bus stop and took out my phone.

There was a message from Minju.

[When are you coming?]

[You’re not going to stand me up, are you?]

It seems like she’s got a lot of juniors to take care of, and she’s checking in diligently.

[We’ve started. It’ll take about 20 minutes.]

[Come quickly!]

As I opened the door to the pub, where we were having our company dinner, I could sense the atmosphere had already become quite rowdy.

The faces of the people I had seen during the day were now flushed from the alcohol.

There was even a table playing drinking games, and it was a chaotic scene.

“Joon-ho!”

I was wandering around, wondering where to sit, when Min-ju discovered me first.

“What’s up?”

“Ao! Why are you so late? You said you were just going to eat and come.”

“I had some studying to do.”

“You’re not attending hagwon while preparing for the re-take?”

“I’m self-studying for the re-take.”

“That’s unusual.”

I agree.

“Anyway, come and sit down! We were in the middle of having a lot of fun.”

The table where Min-ju dragged me to sit was much quieter than the table playing games.

“So, I contacted him again, right? But he…”

A female classmate from our lecture hall was passionately telling a story, looking quite upset.

It seemed like everyone, both men and women, were excitedly talking about romance.

“Joon-ho, drink this.”

Min-ju poured soju into a glass and handed it to me.

“Why.”

“Don’t you know how to pace yourself? Pace yourself?”

When did they become so aggressive about drinking?!

The seniors sitting at the table also cheered and urged me to drink, so I held back tears and downed the soju in one gulp.

“Wow.”

I was already feeling down because of Ji-hee, but…

This was actually a good thing.

“Does Joon-ho oppa have a girlfriend?”

The female classmate looked at me with a face full of curiosity, as if she had finished telling her story.

“What do you mean, does he not have one?”

“A girlfriend.”

“Ah… what… I only studied during school days, haha.”

There are many people like this here.

Study-obsessed lunatics.

As expected, I got reactions like “That’s right!” and “That makes sense!” to my answer.

Everyone understands!

Everyone’s the same!

It’s too hard to enjoy everything and then come back to school, isn’t it?

“So, after middle school, you’ve never dated a girl?”

Although the interest in me had suddenly decreased, Minju, who was sitting next to me, still asked me again with determination.

“Yeah, I just studied.”

“Really? You didn’t have a crush on anyone?”

“I did have one, but it didn’t work out.”

For no reason, I picked up my glass and took a sip of soju.

“……Really?”

Minju, who was holding her fist with her right hand, rested her cheek on the back of her hand.

“Maybe that wasn’t me?”