My Younger Sister Was My First Love

36. I was happy

It had already been a few times that Ji-hui and I had kissed.

Until now, I hadn’t categorized that as a kiss.

Those actions were merely short, childish pecks, something even kids did often.

In fact, it was a bit strange for siblings to do that, but the act of pecking was still within the realm of what I could do with my mom.

That was within the bounds of what I could understand as “family.”

But what just happened was not that.

It was something that couldn’t be done between family members.

We had crossed that line.

“……You.”

“……Oppa.”

Jihee seemed to have lost her center, burying her face on my chest.

“I’m sorry. I think I drank too much.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“……Sorry.”

It was unusual for her to apologize like that, so it seemed like her mind was really muddled.

If Jihee were in her right mind, she would have laughed it off with a smirk in this situation.

But what’s done is done, and it can’t be erased just because it was under the influence of alcohol.

“Jihee.”

I tried to push her away, but Jihee, who was clinging to my shoulder, showed no signs of letting go.

“Get down and talk to me. No! You! That was my first kiss! You!”

I felt wronged.

I didn’t want to attach meaning to the “first kiss” like a lovesick teenager, but still…

…I didn’t want my first kiss to be like this.

“……It’s not like that.”

Her voice was trembling.

Jihee loosened her grip on my shoulder and slid down beside me.

“It was my first kiss too.”

“But you forced it just now.”

I tried to speak, but my head was pounding, and my thoughts weren’t coherent.

“……Did you hate it that much?”

“It’s not about hating or liking it.”

“Did you have to do it with your first love?”

I closed my eyes tightly at the cheesy line that sounded like it came from a romance novel.

“Let’s stop.”

I decided to shut down for the day.

Let’s talk about it again tomorrow when we’re sober.

I knew that nothing would progress like this.

“Okay.”

Jihee seemed to agree with me, not saying anything else, and leaned her head on my shoulder.

“We’ll clean up tomorrow.”

“……Okay.”

“Let’s get up.”

As Jihee stumbled up at my command, I quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me.

“No, no, no! If you’re that drunk, don’t talk! You should have drunk moderately!”

“It’s like home… and I thought you were my oppa, so it was too comfortable. Sorry.”

I managed to escort the dazed Jihee to her room.

After confirming that my younger sister was safely in bed, I wiped away the sweat droplets on my forehead.

“Ha… what is this?”

I was about to turn off the light and close the door, thinking I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.

“…Oppa.”

Jihee, who hadn’t moved a muscle, called out to me in a sweet voice, still in the same position.

“Why.”

“There is.”

“Yes.”

“…I was happy.”

I was afraid that if I stayed quiet, my heartbeat might be audible.

“…Sleep tight.”

I didn’t ask what was good about it.

* * *

How long had it been since the sun had risen?

I rubbed my face with my palm, thinking my eyes were dry, and searched for my phone with my hand.

[13:03]

One o’clock in the afternoon.

One o’clock in the afternoon…?

“Ah, geez. What a shock.”

I had forgotten it was Sunday and was shocked, then slumped down like a cooked zucchini.

“Ha…”.

On weekends, I would wake up like a machine at 8 am, but today, I just couldn’t.

It was because of my younger sister.

I had lain down to sleep, but Jihee’s flushed face and the lingering kiss kept replaying in my mind.

Her last words, “I was happy,” also continued to torment me.

The question “Was I happy too?” kept haunting me.

My body, which had overslept, felt refreshed.

When I opened the door and went outside, the living room was already spotless, with no signs of last night’s party.

Jihee was nowhere to be found in the living room.

She must have gone out or was in her room.

As I stood in front of the refrigerator to get a drink, the sound of the door creaking open and Jihee’s voice calling out to me made my dry throat even drier.

“Are you up now?”

Unlike me, Jihee looked like she had been up for a while, having even taken a shower and was now in a fresh state.

Her outfit of a black T-shirt and short pants didn’t look like she was going out.

“Yes.”

“I made a hangover soup.”

“Who’s that?”

“Me! I saw you sleeping, so I snuck in and cleaned up like an uljang (Korean term for a beautiful, innocent-looking person), and even boiled some rice for you.”

I felt resentful.

Why did he look so carefree, like nothing was wrong?

I couldn’t sleep all night, thinking only of him, but why did he seem so at peace?

“You did a good job, thanks.”

I turned my back to Jihee and gazed blankly at the pot of rice on the stove.

I lit the gas.

I stood still, waiting for the rice to boil, like a fisherman waiting for a bite.

“Oppa, are you not feeling well?”

Jihee seemed to notice my silence.

“No, it’s not that.”

“Really? Huh. I must have gotten really drunk last night and had a lot to drink.”

“You look like you’re struggling.”

As I stirred the pot with a spoon, a hot steam rose up.

“That’s what I’m saying. After the movie, my memory is completely gone, right?”

-Ting!

I was so shocked that I dropped the spoon.

“Are you okay? The soup didn’t spill, did it?”

“Don’t you remember? Why? From where?”

“Hmm? Because I was drunk? That… what was it again… ah… where was I…? Ah, I remember up to the part where we talked about the movie with Oppa.”

It’s common for people to have temporary memory loss after drinking too much.

I knew that even gentle people can become rowdy when they’re drunk.

I understood all of this in my head.

But my feelings just couldn’t accept it.

“Hey, Jihee. You and me…”

I started to say something but stopped.

Is it right to say this?

Jihee doesn’t remember our kiss.

Even though it was our precious first kiss, he doesn’t remember.

But is it right for me to bring it up?

What good would it do to tell Jihee?

I thought of several things that could go wrong right now, but nothing good came to mind.

“Did I do something weird to Oppa?”

…It feels like my insides are twisting.

“It wasn’t that bad, but you were talking nonsense when you were drunk, so I just threw you into bed.”

“Oppa said he would gently take care of me, right?”

Jihee didn’t know what was going on inside me and playfully poked my side with his finger.

“No, I really threw you onto the bed.”

“Liar. I remember sleeping very soundly and feeling great.”

“You’re right.”

The malice in his tone was palpable.

“…… Are you angry?”

“…… No.”

“You look really upset. If I’ve done something to offend you, tell me honestly. I’ll apologize right now.”

Another round of repetitive questioning.

Was the kiss with Jihee really that unpleasant?

I can confidently say it wasn’t a short kiss.

It lasted at least 30 seconds, even if not a full minute.

I had the strength to push Jihee away, but I didn’t.

My hands were still on Jihee’s waist as our lips parted, and I was at a loss for what to do.

Do I have the right to criticize you, saying you did something wrong and it’s sexual harassment?

No.

If that were true, I should have been angry when I saw Jihee this morning, and the cause and effect would match.

Then, the only reason I’m feeling this way is because Jihee lost all memory of last night.

“There’s nothing in particular for you to apologize for.”

I drew my conclusion.

“Let’s refrain from getting drunk at home from now on, just the two of us.”

“Ah, so you’re saying I did something wrong, and that’s why you’re saying this?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it. There’s nothing to talk about.”

“If you don’t say anything, I’ll get anxious and might give up on studying and everything.”

How dare this student threaten me with their studies?

Jihee’s attitude showed no signs of backing down.

Their eyes, fierce with a rebellious spirit, were impressive.

Ah, I don’t know.

You’re the one who said it.

“…… You kissed me.”

The silence was palpable.

Jihee’s pupils dilated and then returned to normal.

An awkward atmosphere settled in an instant.

I knew it would be like this.

“So, let’s not make the same mistake again at home.”

I tried to smooth over the atmosphere by adding some unnecessary words.

“Sorry.”

Jihee didn’t even listen to what I said and wrapped their arms around my waist, pulling me into a tight hug.

“I’m really sorry. I don’t remember, oppa.”

Isn’t that what they should be apologizing for?

Isn’t it more wrong to kiss your family member while drunk?

My cold reasoning had been turned upside down, but my heart was melting like snow at Jihee’s apology.

“Oppa just told me, so I remembered everything.”

“……Are you just pretending to remember?”

“Yes. I remembered everything, including when Oppa asked me to go out with his aunt.”

Jihee released her arm and intertwined her hand with mine.

“I’ll never forget this from now on.”

With a bright smile, Jihee seemed to be saying that the problem was solved.

…Even in this situation, she looked too beautiful, making me wonder if I was out of my mind.

“Let’s eat.”

“Do you want me to reheat it?”

“No, I’ll just eat it.”

The taste of the hangover soup Jihee had made was beyond my imagination.

“……What did you put in it?”

“I added as much love as I have for Oppa.”

“……That’s why the flavor is so deep.”

How much love had she added to make it taste so rich, like a restaurant-grade dish?

I was eating alone, but Jihee sat across from me, chatting away.

“What time are you leaving, Oppa?”

“5 o’clock.”

“What will you do until then?”

“I’ll just rest and go.”

“Is there a chance that that girl will get struck by lightning on her way and can’t make it?”

“It’s a beautiful day today. Don’t talk nonsense.”

“Ah, I don’t want to be alone at home.”

Jihee stretched her face with both hands.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“……9 o’clock.”

“I’ll eat and come back, so it might be later than that.”

“Will I have to eat alone at home again? I ate alone this morning too?”

I did feel a little guilty, as this was indeed a dereliction of my duties.

“……I’ll buy some snacks on my way back and we can eat together.”

“Okay, sounds good.”

After exchanging some idle chatter, I returned to my room.

Was it right to just end the kiss incident like this?

I didn’t have any confidence.

I had a feeling that if I dug deeper into this, I would get stuck in Jihee’s pace, so I didn’t want to talk about it.

Jihee didn’t seem to want to make a big deal out of it or pick a fight, either.

Anyway, my first kiss was with my dongsaeng (younger sibling).

That one disastrous fact alone made my heart feel extremely complicated.

Maybe I should go out for a walk and clear my head before meeting Minju.

As the promised time approached, I finished getting ready to go out by changing my clothes.

“Oppa.”

“Yes?”

Jihee, who was holding a cardigan, called out to me and waved her hand, as if telling me to come.

“Why.”

“Are you leaving now?”

“Yes.”

“If you’re leaving, put on some perfume.”

“Perfume?”

“Yes! I got it as a gift not long ago, and it smells so good that you should try it too, Oppa.”

“Alright.”

I didn’t have any objections to putting on perfume.

“Okay, I’ll put some on! Give me your hand.”

As I held out my wrist, Jihee sprayed the perfume a few times.

“Done. Want to take a sniff?”

I nodded, brought my wrist to my nose, and sniffed a few times.

This smells really good…….

“It’s great!”

“Jihee.”

“Yes?”

“But doesn’t this smell too much like a girl’s perfume?”

A bright, floral scent was resonating from my body.