My Younger Sister Was My First Love

87. Churai Churai

There are only two days when I don’t have to do anything!

Since I’m starting my part-time job at the cafe on Thursday, Tuesday and Wednesday are my days off.

The feeling of liberation, where I didn’t have to do anything, came to me after a long time, but it didn’t feel that great.

Maybe it’s better to have something to do.

As I lay on the sofa, I couldn’t help but think about Minju and Jihui.

The last conversation I had with Jihui before bed came to mind.

[…Don’t you think that’s a bit too much?]

[Why? If I told you that I kissed Minju’s sister, wouldn’t you tie me up and throw me away?]

[A little, perhaps?]

[Phooey. Even if I did that a hundred times, wouldn’t Minju’s sister just become more depressed?]

Jihui was absolutely confident in her dominance in this relationship.

She didn’t deny the fact.

In reality, the person I liked was Jihui.

Her crazy talk, her bright red lips that seemed to tempt me to kiss her.

Her flirtatious smile that seemed to invite me to kiss her right away.

The thrill I felt with Minju was like a fake, and as soon as I got home, I was completely captivated by Jihui.

Minju said that if we just got through this summer, she would let me go, but…

Maybe it’s better to just stop now and say it’s over.

But after kissing her, saying that I wanted to break up right away made me feel like trash.

Actually, I was trash.

But what was trashy about it? There was a bit of ambiguity and discomfort there.

‘You have a girlfriend, but you date another girl and kiss her.’

↳ This is 100% the guy’s fault.

‘You’re in a relationship with a girl who likes you (not officially a couple), but you date another girl and kiss her.’

↳ The girl who got hurt doesn’t even get angry (since she’s the one who’s winning, she can do as she pleases).

Both Minju and Jihui perfectly understood each other’s situations.

At least I wasn’t going to get judged as trash for telling a huge lie.

So, does that mean the parties involved don’t care, but I’m the only one making a fuss?

My brain, which had started to feel uneasy, couldn’t make a correct judgment.

“Oppa!”

I heard the sound of the door opening from the dining table.

I, who was lying on the sofa, turned my head to look at my younger sibling, who was walking towards me.

“Are you not going out today?”

“Yeah, there’s nowhere to go.”

“Do you want to stay with me?”

“It’s just that I don’t have any plans.”

Jihui opened her sleepy eyes and walked over to sit next to me on the floor.

“We’re going on a trip.”

“Not that again?”

“This isn’t a request to Oppa, it’s an order.”

“An order? What kind of order?”

“An order from Auntie.”

Out of the blue, my mom’s name popped up, and a hook was hung above my head.

“Why is Mom calling me?”

“I told Auntie about it. I asked her to let my brother and me go on a trip.”

“You didn’t say something ridiculous, did you?”

“No. Auntie asked me if I needed anything, and I said I’d be grateful if she could take care of Seon-ah for me.”

Ji-hee puffed out her cheeks, looking resentful.

“So, in exchange for taking care of Seon-ah, she’s letting us go on a trip?”

“Yeah. She’s booked a hotel for us in Gangneung.”

“What’s the big deal about Gangneung?”

“My brother liked going to the beach, so I recommended it.”

“……Okay?”

To be honest, I had no reason to refuse.

It was summer vacation when I was 21.

Going to the beach and taking a break wasn’t something to be upset about.

Especially since my companion was my first love, a girl.

As time went by, it felt like Ji-hee was less and less like my younger sister.

It was even more so because our parents weren’t at home.

“She’ll contact your brother separately soon.”

“What about your studies?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything. I’ll stay up all night if I need to.”

Ji-hee was someone who really did what she said.

She wasn’t saying it to show off to me; she was someone who wouldn’t sleep a wink and would study hard.

“……I believe you.”

“Believe me.”

I felt a big difference from when she first started studying.

Back then, it felt like she was just a troublemaker, a bad student who didn’t care.

But as she consistently brought home good grades and showed signs of hard work, a bond of trust formed between us.

“Ah! And I have one more thing to tell your brother.”

“What is it?”

“July 31st. Is your schedule clear?”

Just from the way she was talking, I knew she had something planned.

“My birthday?”

“Yeah! Birthdays are supposed to be spent with family, right?”

Ji-hee’s face lit up with a bright smile.

“You spend it with friends too.”

“There won’t be any birthdays like that in your brother’s life from now on.”

“Huh?”

“No. Did you really make other plans? We’ve still got a month left.”

Just from her expression, I knew I was in trouble.

“There’s none. Who would go to such lengths for my birthday?”

“What did you do on your birthday?”

Memories of birthdays didn’t matter, whether good or bad.

In high school, during my re-take year, I just studied non-stop at school or the academy.

When I got home, I’d have cake with my mom and receive some pocket money as a gift, that’s about it.

Parties and flashy celebrations were something I did in elementary school.

I didn’t think much of it, didn’t attach great significance to it.

“I just spent it with my mom at home. What’s the big deal.”

“What’s with that? So the person you spent it with changed from your mom to your little sister?”

“If it’s about eating cake at home, I’m fine with that.”

“What are you talking about? Of course, we have to go out.”

“Where are we going?”

“I want to give something to my oppa.”

The playful tone in his voice already made me feel anxious.

“Don’t give me some weird adult stuff.”

“What’s wrong with that? You think my oppa is weird?”

“……Pervert.”

You’re a pervert, aren’t you, Jihee?

Jihee’s expression turned ambiguous at the mention of pervert.

“Show me what a real pervert looks like?”

“Sorry, sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“Why do you say I’m a pervert? You’re the one who’s being perverted.”

As Jihee slowly reached out to me, I quickly rolled away.

“Look, you can’t even find your place, yet you’re pretending to be something you’re not.”

“Do I really have to do this?”

My little sister is touching on weird things, and I’m running away like an older brother.

I never thought of myself as someone with a superior image, but now I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom.

“Oh, what’s going on? Say something.”

“Let’s go to the amusement park.”

“The amusement park?”

“Yeah! Oppa, you don’t like amusement parks?”

I was taken aback by the unexpected response.

“What about studying?”

“That’s also a no-go.”

“You’re a student, aren’t you?”

It’s like he’s going on summer vacation, saying he’s going to have fun.

He’s saying he’s going to the amusement park on his birthday.

When I think about my re-take year, where I’d watch motivational videos every day and sleep, it was a routine that was suffocating.

“That’s right.”

“Why don’t you focus on what you’re doing instead of saying that?”

There are so many things to worry about, so how can I even study?

“Oppa.”

“Yes.”

“Oppa’s diligence is like a special limited-time event in our lives, which is entrance exams, so it’s a big deal.”

He didn’t say it exactly like that, but it was true.

“For me, everything you said is the same.”

“What about going to an amusement park?”

“Exactly, it’s Oppa’s 21st birthday.”

Jihee smiled brightly and wrapped her arm around my neck.

“This is the first time I’m celebrating Oppa’s birthday.”

“Birthdays will come again next year.”

“If you put it that way, the college entrance exams will be next year too.”

Isn’t the weight of those two things completely different?

Getting accepted into college and waiting for my next birthday have different levels of anticipation.

“It feels like I’ve been studying for four years and it’s all for nothing.”

“What’s wrong? Do you want your dongsaeng to fail?”

“It’s not that, but it feels unfair. It’s like the world is unfair.”

Jihee playfully poked my cheek.

“The world is unfair from the start.”

“But you have everything, don’t you?”

You’re beautiful, smart, and well-off.

From my perspective, it seems like you have no reason to complain.

“But you didn’t receive the most important thing.”

“What’s that?”

“……Love. The unconditional love that parents give to their child without expecting anything in return.”

As soon as the topic of parents came up, the atmosphere became solemn.

“I don’t care about anything else, but that’s something I can’t get on my own.”

Jihee came closer and leaned her body against my back.

“No matter how much money you have or how cute you are, there are things you can’t get. You know that?”

I couldn’t find a suitable response, and Jihee tried to lighten the mood with a silly laugh.

Her expression looked rather pitiful.

“Jihee.”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been wondering about something for a while now.”

“Tell me, I’ll answer anything.”

Jihee was happy to grant my request, and her enthusiasm was palpable.

“There’s something… you like.”

“What do you like?”

“BL.”

My words seemed to catch Jihee off guard, and her eyes widened in surprise.

“What’s that?”

“Maybe it’s because your dad doesn’t come home often, so you’ve developed that kind of taste?”

“Hmm, that’s a tough question.”

It was a topic we had avoided talking about until now.

But we had grown close enough.

Our feelings for each other were also out in the open.

I wanted to know more about Jihee.

“Let’s start by rewinding the clock and going back to our middle school days.”

“Middle school?”

“Yeah. That’s when Sehwa introduced me to BL manga for the first time.”

“Sehwa? You mean the Sehwa I know?”

“Yeah. The one who went on a blind date with my older brother.”

Wait, Sehwa? The one who led my younger sibling into the swamp of BL?

I felt my head spinning just thinking about it.

But she likes that kind of thing too, so…

“Anyway, so what?”

“So, Sehwa and I were friends since middle school, and she would recommend all sorts of manga to me?”

“Yeah.”

“I really enjoyed them. I almost spent all my time reading manga, even during school hours. Well, I did read a lot during school too.”

“But isn’t BL different from romance manga?”

“No, no, no. Even within romance manga, there are soft and hard genres, and various relationship dynamics. BL is just a subcategory within that.”

Jihee enthusiastically explained the basics of BL manga, as if she had pressed a trigger.

“I get it. So, in my opinion, the ‘older brother-younger sister’ model is the most ideal.”

Professor Jihee, the one-taught master of BL studies.

Jihee explained the character-specific fun points of each genre so clearly that even I, who knew nothing, could understand.

“Do you understand now?”

“…A little?”

“Hmm, your expression says you don’t understand well.”

Jihee seemed to be thinking about something, then suddenly rushed into her room.

When she came back out, she handed me something.

“This is really one of my favorite masterpieces.”

It was Jihee’s secret tablet.

Teacher Jihee once again gave me a shock by showing me that screen.

“Will you also…?”

I received the tablet in a daze.

On the screen, a cute girl and a bespectacled boy were awkwardly embracing each other.

“If my older brother saw this and talked about it with me, I think I’d really be happy.”

When I said that, it was a bit awkward not to look.

I must have had a worried expression on my face as I held the tablet.

For some reason, my mom’s face flashed across my mind.

Mom.

My younger sibling had recommended this Ince#st novel to me.

“Do you want to read it together while I study?”

Jihee’s eyes sparkled brightly.