No Such Thing as Good and Evil

The sound of a door opening and slamming closed rang through the room. Faylen slowly opened her eyes, and looked around the room to find she recognized where she was. She was in Shades bed, back in his cabin.

“I thought you were going to get groceries?” Lilah asked, her voice piercing through the closed bedroom door.

“I did.” Shade responded.

“Then what’s in the brown paper bags?” she prodded.

“Don’t worry about it.”

She scoffed. “When Faylen wakes up, I’m going to advise her to run as far away from you as possible.”

“Go right ahead.” Shade replied with the sound of a cork popping off a bottle.

“I still cant believe you stabbed her! What if the sleeping poison had reflected onto you!”

He laughed. “You think I haven’t built up a tolerance to Aeriths poison? Do you know how many times she’s gotten mad, and stabbed or bitten me? And as far as I can tell it didn’t reflect onto me, so we learned something new about the armor as well. Seems like it all worked out fine.”

“You got lucky!” She yelled. “You might have been used to Aeriths poisons, but what if it had doubled its effectiveness due to the armor?”

He waved her off. “But it didn’t, so what’s there to be mad at?”

“A lot!”

While they were arguing, the previous night’s memories came back to Faylen, she rolled over in the bed and began crying into the pillow.

“I think she’s awake.” Lilah whispered.

“Yea, and from the sound of it, you’re incessant screaming has sent her to tears.” Shade responded.

The door to the room slowly creaked open as Lilah floated in, with Shade close behind her in his human form. “How are you feeling dear?” She said softly.

“Dear? You’ve known her for like 5 days…or 4 days? Wait, what day is today?” he asked.

Lilah ignored him. “Does your leg hurt, any symptoms from the poison?” Faylen shook her head. “Is there anything I can do for you, anything I can get for you?”

“And how are you going to carry anything, you’re a bow?” He paused and looked back at the doorknob. “Wait, how did you open the door?”

Lilah ignored him again.

“Please, just let me be alone for a bit.” Faylen said in a sniffle.

“Well, you heard the girl.” Shade said as he turned and began to leave.

“You’re really not going to say anything?” Lilah turned to him miffed.

He turned back around. “What do you want me to say? I told you so? I can do that if you would like.”

“Of course that’s not what I want you…”

But before she could finish, he pointed right at Faylen. “Hey Faylen! I told you so! I told you that innocent people might die while you’re trying to save people! I told you you weren’t be ready to handle it! Welcome to the world of saving people and killing slavers! It’s filled with blood, sorrow and regrets. Now if you would like to drink the bad memories away with me, I’ll be in the living room.” He turned again and walked out of the room.

“That man is truly one of the worst people I have had the dishonor of meeting.” Lilah scoffed as she turned back to Faylen. “Now, is there anything I can do for you?” She whispered softly again.

Faylen turned her head off the pillow, eyes watery and red from crying. “Please Lilah, just let me be alone for a while.”

“Ok dear.” Lilah whispered. “I’ll come check on you again in a bit.” She turned and floated out of the room, then closed the door behind her. She then floated through the hall and into the living room, before floating right in front of the coffee table, facing Shade who was sitting on the couch, bottle of rum in hand. She was about to scold him some more on how he was acting, but before she could, he spoke first.

“Lilah, would you mind if I asked you a few questions?” he said oddly nervously while taking a swig from the bottle.

Lilah was caught off guard by this, and could only respond with an awkward “Ok.”

“If my grandfather really put you in that bow, how did you end up here? Or with that previous carrier? I guess I’m asking, how did you get out from Endross?”

“It’s not really that interesting. Mozan kept me in his room, on a mantle. One night he left a window open. I had never tried floating or flying as I had thought I couldn’t do it as I was, well, a bow. But after a lot of effort, I managed to, and I floated right out the window and out of Endross. After a lot of flying though, I ran out of echos, and fell to the ground in the middle of a field. I found I didn’t regenerate them nearly as fast as before either, and couldn’t move for days. Some farmers eventually found me, then sold me to someone who then sold me to someone else, who sold me at a black auction to a noble’s family, who gave me to their daughter, who you then killed. And now we’re here.”

Shade nodded as he took another swig. “Wow, that really isn’t very interesting. But that’s not the main question I have.” He sullenly said as he took another swig, then looked right at the bow. “Do you hate dragons?”

This took her by surprise again. She paused before responding. “I’m not sure what you mean?”

“Just what I asked. Do you hate dragons? Not just me, or my grandfather, but in general.”

“No, of course not!” Lilah responded rather offended. “I’m not some racist if that’s what you’re insinuating!”

“But you enacted all those laws, didn’t you?” he asked.

“You sound like Mozan right now.” She paused again before replying defiantly. “I did what I felt I had to. The plan was to enact the laws, then negotiate with Mozan a peace treaty where the laws go away and Endross signs a non-aggression pact. But Mozan wouldn’t agree to it.”

He took another swig. “So, you enacted the laws before knowing if Mozan would actually agree with this plan?”

“How could I have known Mozan, a man that I actually held in high standard and had immense respect for, would suddenly decide he wanted to take over the continent. Which by the way, is the exact thing the people who advocated for the laws were worried he would try to do.” Shade didn’t respond as he took another swig. “Why do you want to know all of this? Just trying to jab at me some more? Make fun of me dying? Go right ahead, joke all you want.”

Shade though shook his head and looked seriously at her, which once again threw her off. “I guess Faylen didn’t tell you, I figured since you were in that basement with us when she asked me about it, you would have heard as well. Those laws you enacted are back.” She gasped. “Your old stomping grounds of Merellien have brought them back, and according to Aerith, so take this with a large grain of salt, they are using you as a basis for them. They worship you almost as a god now, and are claiming they’re continuing your legacy.”

“That’s not…I would never…” Lilah stuttered in response as she processed the news.

“But this time, the laws are worse.” Shade continued. “They’re basically enslaving dragons. I’ve seen it myself. They put some sort of slave collars on them, cut their wings, remove their teeth and force them into servitude. And apparently if they don’t agree to this, they just kill them.”

“That’s…. terrible. I would never have advocated for anything like that.” Lilah responded in shock.

“Yea, well of course the king and nobles probably know that. It’s apparently just an excuse to kill and capture some dragons. Really, they themselves want to take over the continent. Funny huh? Using the history of Endross planning to take over the continent as a veil for you yourself trying to take over the continent.”

Lilah took a moment to gather herself, then responded with a more serious tone. “How sure are you of this information?”

“Pretty sure. Most of it comes from Aerith who I honestly trust as little as I trust a talking bow claiming to be the former queen of Merellien. But like I said, I’ve seen it myself. I’ve seen the slave devices, the torn off wings, the torture rooms. Whether the whole war thing is accurate, who knows? But what they’re doing to dragons is 100 percent true.”

Lilah then began to get angry as she glowed a bright gold. “I always found slavery to be deplorable. I always found killing to be deplorable. I always found war to be deplorable! I was a pacifist! Tell me, who is this king who spits on my legacy, who uses my name to fill the world with blood as he chases more power!”

“His name is Elluin Venali, ironically enough he’s the same man who claimed to have killed me. Small world, right? Lying seems to be in his nature, but it has gotten him to the throne, so I guess who can blame him.” He shrugged.

“Venali? The textile merchant family? One of them somehow became king? They dare defile my name! When Faylen gets up, we’re going right to Merellien and I’m going to…”

Shade cut her off as he began to laugh hysterically. “Going to what! Can I come along, please? I would love to see it! Hey everyone, it’s me, Lilah, I swear! Please believe me, I may just be a talking floating bow, but please, it’s really me!”

She sneered. “It would be more than you’re clearly doing. Drinking days away while your own people are killed and enslaved.”

He shrugged again, wiping tears from his eyes. “They’re not my people the same way all fairies aren’t yours. And What would you want me to do anyway? Take on an entire kingdom myself. I thought wars and killing were deplorable? Even I can’t take on an entire kingdom. Hell, if I were to re-announce that I’m alive, either I’m immediately marked as a criminal again by everyone, or Merellien claims that the other kingdoms are trying to smear their kings name and use it as an excuse to go to war.”

“The only excuses I hear are the ones coming from your mouth.” Lilah scolded. “Maybe I am a failure like you say. Maybe every decision I made was the wrong one. But I gave everything, including my life to try and protect my kingdom. What Faylen did tell me of you, was that you ran from Endross when Mozan died. And here you are, running away again.”

Shade slammed the bottle on the table as he snapped into anger. “I was 15! I didn’t run from Endross like a coward afraid of fighting. There was going to be a revolution anyway, half the people in Endross wouldn’t accept me becoming king. I thought if I ran off, they would just make my father or brother king, and the revolution would be averted.”

“Is that what you tell yourself?”

Shade growled as he shot to his feet. “So what? You think I go around killing scores of people? I just fly into Merellien and rain fire down until someone kills me, what does that accomplish?”

“Why do you assume you would be by yourself?”

“Who’s going to help?” He yelled.

“I don’t know, but have you even asked anyone? I might not like you, but if my kingdom was under attack and you offered help, I would accept it. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

“I’ll fight.” A sniffly voice said. Shade and Lilah turned to see Faylen standing in the doorway to the living room. “You asked me before what I would do if Alessandria went to war with Endross. I’d fight them with you.”

Shade threw his hands up. “Cool, so I’ve got a girl who loses her mind any time an innocent person dies, and a talking bow who wants to float into the middle of Merellien and give a sermon. Watch out world!” He said sarcastically.

Faylen took another step into the room. “Aerith would fight as well, Elmyra too. Maybe Gaelin and that Alexis guy.”

Shade let out a dark laugh. “Alexis! Alexis would kill himself before he fought by my side again. And I feel the same exact way about that lying, back stabbing snake of a man. Gaelin? Maybe. But he’s the knight commander of Alessandria, you know, the place with the statue in honor of my fraudulent death. The enemy of an enemy might be a friend, but their enemy is me.”

“Nothing happens overnight.” Lilah continued to scold. “Nothing happens while you sit around making up excuses. If you want to let all your dragons die and convince yourself you couldn’t have stopped it, I don’t really care. But I doubt all this drinking you do is strictly due to your past as a criminal, I bet you think about Endross a lot, what would have happened if you stayed, what could have been. Now history is repeating itself, and you have another chance, but you seem hell bent on repeating the same thing you did before, running and hiding.”

“What about you though?” He countered. “The world is giving you a second chance as well. I counted you among the 'team'. But in the past, you enacted horrific laws then went to war with dragon kind. The world has given you a second chance as well. If Faylen joined me, and truly fought against Merellien, fought people you might know, might have cared for. What would you do?”

Lilah’s confidence though didn’t waver. “You think of me as some weak failure of a leader. But there’s a reason Merellien became the most powerful kingdom on the continent. I do what I think needs to be done, whether that’s enacting horrific laws, going to war with an old friend, or in this case, going to war with my own people. I fight, and die, for what I believe in. When you eventually die, will you be able to say the same? Or will you lay there, most likely drunk, dreaming of a world where you actually tried.” He scoffed as he pushed his way past the two of them out of the living room and into the kitchen. “Keep running dragon, what’s one more regret, right?”

“Fuck off!” He yelled from the kitchen.

She floated after him, with Faylen following close behind. “I know what you’re probably thinking. Why me? Why does it always have to be me? I had those same thoughts for a long time. People think being born into a powerful family, into a powerful body is a blessing, but it’s a curse as well. Everyone expects things of you. You’re expected to protect people, to fight for them, to kill for them without anyone ever thinking of how you feel. It took me a long time to accept this, but I did. You have to learn to accept it as well, who you are, what you can do in the world. What you can do for the world.”

“But that’s bullshit though!” He yelled as he turned back to them. They were both stunned to see tears had formed in his eyes. “Don’t tell me about what I can do in this world. Maybe I did run from Endross like a coward. But I tried Lilah, I really did. I tried for so long, but it never mattered. You’re a fucking fairy, you wouldn’t get it. Everyone assumes everything you did was good, no matter how evil it was. I’m a disgusting lucifer dragon, everyone assumed everything I did was bad, no matter how good it was. Maybe you think this is all more excuses, but it’s the truth. No matter how much evidence I brought to people, no matter how many slavers, drug dealers, loan sharks I killed or captured, I was never anything other than the black devil, the grandson of Mozan, an evil, soulless lucifer dragon. Even other dragons wanted nothing to do with me. I was alone, I’ve always been alone. Not even my mother or father cared about me until Mozan nominated me as king. Everyone I’ve ever known, was ever friends with, always leaves me in the end. Now the worlds on fire once more, and I have to come put it out? I have to kill what, 10,000 people, 100,000 people? Would I become some hero if I took out Merellien, or would people just go back to fearing me, hating me, would I just go back to hiding hoping nobody finds me. You say I have to accept who I am, the responsibility at some point, but I don’t accept it and I won’t accept it. I’m not just some tool, some walking calamity to be used to kill people when needed. I’m a fucking person as well. I deserve to be happy; I should be able to be happy.”

“Would letting thousands of dragons die make you happy?” Lilah said softly. “Would having to hide the fact that you’re a dragon for the rest of your life make you happy?”

“I have to do that now anyway. Everyone runs in terror when they see the big bad black devil. So what’s the difference!” He snarled back.

“A large one and you know it.” Lilah sighed. “I get it Shade; trust me I do. Life gives you two options and they both seem terrible. But surely you must realize that one option here is much better than the other. In fact, I’d wager that’s why you're so worked up about all of this. You know exactly what you should do, what you should be doing, and you’re trying to find excuses not to do it.”

He growled as he clenched his fists and brushed past them again, out of the kitchen and toward the front door. “Faylen, grab your shit. If you’re done wallowing, we’re going to register you as an adventurer.”