Chapter 189 Ch. 189: "I'm sorry." [2]
189 Ch. 189: "I'm sorry." [2]
Upon locking eyes with Nathaniel, Adrian couldn't help but notice a bitter smile forming on his brother's lips. Just as he was about to speak, Adrian swiftly interjected, "Shall we relocate to the balcony? It's a bit stuffy in here."
Of course, it was a blatant lie, but Adrian couldn't ignore the necessity of fresh air to calm his racing thoughts. With the uncertainty of whether this dialogue would repair their strained relationship or further widen the rift between them, Adrian believed that stepping out for fresh air would help him stay relaxed in formulating the right words.
Nathaniel's expression softened slightly, though traces of bitterness lingered as he considered Adrian's suggestion. "Sure, let's do that." He just realized that he had been too hasty in his approach.
With that, they made their way toward the balcony. As Adrian swung open the glass door, a gentle breeze greeted them, playing with their hair and causing their garments to flutter softly. Moving toward the stone railing, Adrian and Nathaniel stood shoulder to shoulder beside it. Peering downward on the courtyard, they were met with a soft glow emanating from the torches, illuminating the surrounding area. Below, several knights were conducting their nighttime patrol. Adrian drew a deep breath, and the icy wind filled his lungs, bringing a sense of release washed over his body. Upon witnessing his brother's attempt to unwind, Nathaniel mirrored his action, allowing the tension to ease from his shoulders. Though no words were spoken, the heavy atmosphere gradually shifted to serenity and relaxation, which was a welcome change. Summoning every ounce of courage, Nathaniel ultimately broke the silence, "You know..."
Adrian glanced sideways and found his brother fixated on the dark sky that stretched before them, his black hair gently dancing in the wind.
Nathaniel let out a resigned sigh. "I've been thinking about this for some time, and I've just come to realize," he inclined his head to meet Adrian's cerulean eyes, "how unfair I've treated you."
Nathaniel's thoughts drifted to the day he stormed out of Adrian's room, regret gnawing at him as he realized the impact it had on their relationship. He should have patiently awaited Adrian's response and discussed the issue thoroughly. Unfortunately, impatience and disappointment got the better of him.
Not only that, even at the Safonyx Castle watchtower, despite Adrian's desperate pleas for him to stay and address the matter, he callously turned a deaf ear and shoved him away. As the overwhelming sense of shame grew unbearable, Nathaniel flung his gaze toward the darkness ahead, murmuring in guilt, "Just... how terrible I am..."
"..." Adrian absorbed his brother's words in silence before exhaling deeply. "I don't know where you're getting those words from, but you're not terrible, Nate."
Nathaniel's body stiffened, and he instinctively glanced at his brother. But before he could retort, Adrian sliced in. "We've both made mistakes. What matters now is how we move forward."
People in his previous life often criticized him for his apparent lack of pride, accusing him of brushing things off too easily. To him, dwelling on the past held little value; what was done was done. He wasn't Nathaniel, who possessed the ability to turn back time; he couldn't control the past or change it. Thus, there was no point in wasting his energy on something beyond his control. Furthermore, even if Nathaniel didn't storm out of the room, the outcome would likely remain the same, as Adrian was uncertain if he could muster the courage to speak the truth that day.
"But still..." Nathaniel mumbled, his voice choked with emotion, unable to articulate the conflicting thoughts and feelings that swirling within him.
When tears began to well up in Nathaniel's golden eyes, Adrian couldn't help but jeer, "You're going to weep, aren't you?"
The corner of Nathaniel's mouth twitched upon seeing Adrian's annoying expression, his initial sadness quickly morphing into frustration. With a surge of irritation, Nathaniel barked, "Fuck you, Ian!"
"Pft, haha!" Yet, the little brat just laughed his heart out.
Letting out an exasperated groan, Nathaniel rolled his eyes in boredom and leaned his back on the railing, arms folded across his chest.
Gradually suppressing his laughter, Adrian turned his head toward his brother. "Well, I forgive you," Meeting Nathaniel in the eyes, he offered him a smile. "And I hope you can forgive yourself, too."
Warmth flooded Nathaniel's heart, and a gentle arch formed on his lips. Reaching out to his brother, he tenderly stroked Adrian's hair, whispering. "Thank you."
Adrian responded with a thin smile. "Don't mention it."
Nathaniel withdrew his hand, and they stood in silence for a moment longer, relishing how the weight of their shared experiences slowly lifted from their shoulders. Staring at the stars sprinkled across the sky, a sense of peace settled between them.
"Ian." Nathaniel called out, prompting Adrian to shift his attention toward him. However, as he glimpsed Nathaniel's serious expression, he could feel his heart begin to race once again. Here he thought the conversation had ended, yet reality slapped him in the face. Despite this, he responded, "What is it?"
Catching the flickering fear in Adrian's cerulean eyes, Nathaniel knew they were the same eyes he had seen before. The fact that Adrian visited the watchtower, coupled with his surprise upon seeing him there, led to one conclusion: Adrian knew about the watchtower accident that resulted in his mother's death. In other words, Adrian had met Chrono. Moreover, there was a high probability that Chrono informed him about the impending accident involving Aerilyn. Otherwise, why would Adrian be surprised upon seeing him and asked what he was doing there? However, the lingering question remained: Why didn't Adrian want to discuss it with him? Given his encounter with Chrono, Adrian should have been aware of the time reversal. Reflecting on this, Nathaniel now comprehended Adrian's every action and why his little brother's intelligence surpassed others his age. It was because of Adrian's old soul residing in his young body, much like himself. But something didn't add up—
"Nate?" Adrian's voice snapped him out of his reverie.
Nathaniel shook his head to dispel the thoughts and continued, "On that night, I saw a suspicious man in the watchtower, so I confronted him. We got into a fight, but he managed to escape, and right as I was about to pursue him, you trapped me in the watchtower. That's what happened."
Well, what he told wasn't entirely a lie, but since Adrian didn't want to talk about his encounter with Chrono, Nathaniel could only provide him with an altered version of events.
"...I see," Adrian's expression softened, and his mind flew. If that was indeed the case, then his speculation was correct. Nathaniel was there to prevent the accident from unfolding, just like him. But who was the real culprit?
However, what came out of Nathaniel's mouth caught him off guard. "I've investigated, and it wasn't my mother's or my grandfather's doing."
'Why?' Adrian narrowed his eyebrows in confusion, his heart thumping like crazy, 'Why did you tell me this?'
Maintaining a steady gaze, Nathaniel resumed, "I know my mother has attempted to harm you several times, but in the past few years, she has changed. And even if you don't trust my mother, you can trust me."
Before Adrian could fully process the information, Nathaniel pressed on, "As for the book, someone dear to me wished for you to have it."
Adrian broke eye contact, shifting his gaze elsewhere as he unconsciously licked his lips. 'There's just too much to unpack.'
After calming the tumult of emotions and thoughts within him, Adrian straightened his posture and fixed his gaze on the black-haired young man before him.
Gathering his courage, Adrian began. "Firstly, thank you for your honesty." With a heavy sigh, he continued, his voice trembling, "Nate, actually I—"
"Don't," Nathaniel quickly interjected.
"Huh?" Adrian blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected his brother to stop him.
Nathaniel reached out to him and tenderly stroked Adrian's hair, offering a reassuring smile. "It's alright. You don't have to say it if you don't want to."
Adrian searched Nathaniel's eyes for any sign of emotion but found only empathy. Subsequently, the tension etched on Adrian's face began to dissolve as Nathaniel's words took root in his heart.
Upon witnessing his brother's vulnerable expression, Nathaniel couldn't resist a smirk. "You're going to weep, aren't you?"
Adrian mustered a smile, forcing out a dry laugh. "I think I might."
Nathaniel chuckled softly and motioned for Adrian to come closer. Leaning against the railing side by side, Nathaniel guided Adrian's head to rest on his shoulder and his hand gently patting his brother's head. After a moment of quiet, Nathaniel inquired, "Feeling better now?"
Adrian nodded lightly in response. "Yeah."
Nathaniel's smile widened. "I'm glad to hear that."
Lifting his head to meet his brother in the eyes, Adrian added. "I promise. I'll tell you about it someday."
Nathaniel nodded in understanding. "It's alright, take your time. I'll always be here."
"Thank you, but..." Adrian's voice trailed off as his cerulean eyes strayed sideways.
A sense of anticipation built up within Nathaniel, his voice turning serious. "But what?"
Returning his sight to his brother, Adrian tilted his head innocently, "Isn't this the first time you've acted like a true big brother to me?"
"What?" Annoyance flickered across Nathaniel's face, his mouth twitching with irritation.
Adrian swiftly slipped away from Nathaniel's side and hurried toward his chamber. However, before he could reach the door, an arm suddenly hooked around his neck from behind, halting his steps abruptly.
"You little brat!" Nathaniel's furious voice boomed, his other hand ruffling Adrian's hair relentlessly.
"Ugh, stop it! I'll go bald if you continue!" Adrian protested, trying to shove Nathaniel's hand from his head, but to no avail.
"Tsk," Nathaniel clicked his tongue in vexation before eventually ceasing his action. Narrowing his eyes, he fixed a sharp stare on his brother.
As Nathaniel's gaze lingered, Adrian snapped, "What?"
Unexpectedly, Nathaniel sprang forward, wrapping his arms and legs around Adrian. Caught off guard, Adrian hastily grabbed hold of Nathaniel's legs, steadying himself as he staggered slightly.
"Nate, what are you doing?!" Adrian exclaimed, bewildered by his brother's sudden actions.
Yet, the person in question just smirked, a glint of mischief dancing in his golden eyes. "Just making sure my little brother knows I've got his back."
Adrian looked at Nathaniel as if he were some weird creature before rolling his eyes in exasperation. "You're impossible, you know that?"
Nathaniel shrugged nonchalantly. "Maybe so, but you love me anyway."
With a heavy heart, Adrian admitted. "Yeah, I do."
"Hehe," Nathaniel grinned in satisfaction and pointed toward the chamber, "Now, escort me—waaa!!" Before he could finish his sentence, Adrian dashed into the chamber, catching Nathaniel off guard.
"Ian! You fucker!" Nathaniel bellowed, instinctively wrapping his arms around Adrian's neck to stabilize himself.
Nevertheless, Adrian couldn't suppress his hearty laughter. Before long, their laughter filled the room as Adrian darted joyfully through the space.
Yet amidst their shared mirth, Adrian couldn't shake the certainty that Nathaniel was aware that he knew about him turning back time.