Novice Reincarnator

“Ahhhh!”

I woke up screaming again. No matter how many knives I threw at the Crystalline Colossus in my dreams, it was impossible for me to win. My heart thundered in my chest and my body shook with terror. My bladder had emptied itself like usual and my crumbling sense of self-worth took another hit.

“When… When will these nightmares end?”

I muttered to myself in despair. It had been over a month since I encountered the Colossus. Every time I thought I had improved my situation, a particularly bad nightmare showed up as if to put me in my place.

I was trying to change. I wanted to stop running away and to truly confront my issues. Even so, it was difficult. My body heated up and my fingers itched, as if to tell me that my problems could be avoided if I gave into temptation.

I already knew the recipe to stop these nightmares. All I had to do was to stop resisting and sink back into depravity. If I comforted myself or if I sought out the warmth of another body in my bed, I would be able to sleep peacefully at night.

It didn’t have to be Leo or Cecilia. Anybody would do. With my looks, surely it wouldn’t be hard to invite a cute explorer girl to my bed.

“What am I thinking?”

I shook my head and cleared my foolish thoughts. It was this appearance that was leading me astray. I felt small and weak because I was small and weak. Everything would be different if I returned to being a man.

It was far earlier than usual, but I was in no mood to try to go back to sleep. Instead, I ordered some groceries to be dropped at the doorstep and turned on my laptop. I watched as my best friend lead a life very different from mine.

“Elizabeth, take out their mages. Claire, with me.”

“As you wish, Leah.”

Leo, no, Leah and her party members were diving in a dungeon called Catacombs of the Fallen, where a lot of undead roamed. The recommended level for that dungeon was level 20. Of Leah’s four other party members, the only one I recognized was Elizabeth.

Elizabeth held the Sage Epic class, and focused on bringing down enemies with her spells. Claire was an Epic Royal Paladin that stood at the front line and took the brunt of the attacks. Melissa, an Epic High Priestess, provided support and healing. Finally, Tabitha was an Epic Ninja that was in charge of detecting traps, sensing enemies, and attacking from the shadows.

Somehow, Leah had assembled a party of Epic talents that were all girls. Of course, none of them compared to Leah Maxwell, the possessor of the Legendary Hero class.

“Limit Break! Dance of the Sword King!”

A brilliant white light burst from Leah who wiped out hundreds of enemies in the blink of an eye with a graceful set of movements. The comment section of the viewers who were watching Leah’s broadcast went crazy with praise.

Leah and I lived in different worlds. She had hundreds of thousands of viewers while I had only 1. She commanded a party of trusted allies to dive into a level 20 dungeon while I was traveling solo in the weakest dungeons.

My best friend was smiling brightly while I was waking up in the middle of the day from horrible nightmares. Leah always had a magical ability to put a smile on the people around her. Would I be able to smile if I joined her side?

Did I even have the right to join her side?

I was the one that turned her down. A Common talent like me would be nothing but a burden to her. I couldn’t even enter the same dungeons that she did. Now that she had people she could trust her back to, my presence would be nothing more than an obstacle.

“Why am I working so hard to raise my level?”

Leah read off one of the comments that appeared on the screen. She gave her trademark easy smile and easily captured the hearts of her audience.

“I thought it was common knowledge at this point. My best friend thought he could run away from me to the Upper Realms after I confessed to him. I am raising my level to gather the power and connections needed to chase him down.”

The comment section blew up. Half of the comments praised Leah for chasing her man, the other half had fallen in love with her. Leah spoke up once more in complaint.

“Elizabeth, you did something unnecessary.”

“I disagree. Your boorish confession proved to me that you needed more time to understand the intricacies of love. You would have both been hurt if you entered into a relationship at that time.”

Leah frowned. A moment later, her expression shifted. When I saw the twinkle in her eyes, I knew she was up to no good. Sure enough, she approached Elizabeth with her prince aura on full blast. Leah’s long finger tilted Elizabeth’s chin up so that they were staring into each other’s eyes.

A bright red blush appeared on Elizabeth’s face and even I felt embarassed from just watching from my laptop screen. Leah brought her face closer to Elizabeth, prompting the other girl to close her eyes and pucker her lips.

“Did you think I was going to kiss you? Too bad. We are in the dungeon. I can’t have you fainting on me.”

Leah whispered into Elizabeth’s ears and then backed off like nothing had happened.

“Kyaaa!”

Leah’s other party members screamed in delight with blushes of their own on their faces. Elizabeth had a dazed expression, but she seemed happy. Leah had changed since I last saw her. The old Leo would never have teased a girl like that.

Elizabeth and Leo were both moving forward with their lives. I was the only one that was trapped in the past. I couldn’t continue like this.

As a Legendary talent, it was natural that Leo enrolled in the most prestigious Explorer Academy in the Upper Realm. That was to say, Leah attended the same Saint Mikhail Explorer Academy that I did.

I could never go outside or dive in the dungeon in the middle of the day. It would all be over if I ran into Leah. Even though I had gained a completely different appearance, Leah was an Ancient Human with [Appraisal IV].

High level appraisals gave a far more detailed status than usual. Something was bound to show up in my status that would reveal everything to Leah. As I thought, I needed to continue dungeon diving late at night.