Orc Lord

“Hey, wanna explain to me what's going on?”

Feeling slightly irritated, I called out to Irsha, who had been consoling the depressed Varoon for almost a minute now.

“Ah!” The War Orc jumped slightly and gave a worried look to her depressed companion. “Hey, Varoon? Does you want to…” She shook him a bit, but he just hid his face in his hands and shook his head.

“Did you want to be her first time, or what?! Come on!”

“Um…” Irsha seemed to decide to say it herself. “It not like that at all. Circumstance is a little strange, but Vyra, this your older brother.”

…?

My…

…?

“Chief,” Fiara nudged me from the side.

“Ah… Sorry, I spaced out. What was that you said earlier?”

“I says Varoon is your big brother.”

“…”

“Chief!”

Ah, she’s urging me now. Well, what do you want from me? A person I thought I would never meet in my life has appeared before me.

“Alright already! What do you want me to say, exactly?”

“You should say something. You're meeting your brother for the first time.”

Ah, Fiara, why are you--no. Why is an Orc, which I've observed to have weak family ties, lecturing me here?

“You want my honest opinion then?” I took in a deep breath and then sighed. “I don't care.”

““Eh?”” Fiara and Irsha looked at me with wide eyes. Irsha repeatedly sent darting glances at the depressed Varoon.

“No, more like, I don't acknowledge that I have an older brother. I knew you existed, but I was planning to ignore that for as long as I needed to. Actually, my opinion of you is even worse now that I know we’re related. Man up. Quit complaining. You think you're a big man because you ran off to join a war? Aren't you just an idiot who can't tell running away from your problems from running toward them? It’s not like I need you in my life. I don't even want you in my life. It's not like you've ever been in it before, so there isn't even a hole to fill. Eh? What? Did you expect me to be polite at our first meeting? Are you an idiot? If you're part of my family, you have to meet certain expectations, you know? I won't just give my heart away on title alone. You're not even my brother because you've never been around to act like one. Am I supposed to be happy to see you or something? Jeez, if lost family members are going to appear out of nowhere, you're not the one I wanted to see. So how come you're the one who shows up? Go back to your stupid war and die for all I care. Idiot.”

Everyone is staring at me with eyes wide like saucers. Even Varoon has taken a break from being depressed to be completely blindsided instead.

“Chief… are you feeling alright?” Fiara asked quietly.

“No! I'm not! I want my sister back! Not some brother I've never seen before!”

“Chief... you don't have a sister,” Dodoran posed nervously.

“Right… That’s right. I don't have a sister!”

Crap, and I'm already crying.

“Um… Is she good… here?” Irsha leaned over and asked Fiara quietly, tapping her head pointedly.

“Um… Chief, if this is about… that… Is it fine if I tell them? Right now, you just look like you're having a mental breakdown.”

“Sure… tell them… I don't care…!”

I'm facing the other way to hide my tears, but I know how obvious it is that I'm breaking down.

Damn it! I feel like a failure as a chief. What am I crying about months after I died? Why does this have to happen when I'm in front of other people?

“Well, you see,” I can still hear Fiara’s voice distantly, “The chief still remembers her past life.”

“Past life?” Four Orcs and one War Orc’s heads tilt much like Fiara’s had when she heard this for the first time.

“Yes. In the midst of Reincarnation, her Mind and Soul stayed together, so she still has her old memories. That life ended with a painful death, and she left precious family behind. Varoon, on my chief’s behalf, I apologize. I think meeting with you has reminded her of the family that she can't reunite with.”

“Fiara,” I've managed to stop crying for now.

“?! Yes, chief?”

“The food’s going to get burnt, and I'm hungry. Let's eat.”

“Y...es, chief.”

We eat in awkward silence for a few minutes, and I gradually calm down thanks to the hot meal. Afterwards, it’s decided that our two groups will return together to the village, and I set up camp for the night with my earth magic. Fiara and I find ourselves alone together in the rapidly darkening forest.

“... Chief, I'm sorry about earlier.”

“No, you don't have anything to feel sorry for.”

“I do. I feel sorry for you.”

“...”

“Chief?”

“Don't worry about it. … You know, I never grieved my own death. I just did my best to pretend like my old life never happened; like it was somebody else's. Today made me remember some wisdom from back then.”

“What’s that?”

“The five stages of grief. It’s a loose interpretation, and everyone experiences them a bit differently, but it was thought that generally Humans go through five stages before accepting the loss of a loved one. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. They don't always have to be in that order, I guess.”

“... Did remembering that help you?”

“... Realizing that I should be grieving--that it would be natural--helped me.”

“In that case, have you accepted it?”

“... I don't know. I still feel sad when I remember that I can never have that life again, but I don't feel like I have to pretend it didn't happen anymore.”

“... Chief?”

“Hm?”

“You know… I'm very glad you were born here. I think you're a good thing for our village. I believe that we will somehow always prosper with you leading us. And I consider you my irreplaceable friend and chief. For the villagers and I… your life is important. So I hope you don't feel that your second life is any less valuable than the first.”

“... Fiara?”

“Yes, chief?”

“... Thank you.”

She bowed her blue head, smiling softly. “Yes.”