Pink Ranger Problems

Training was oddly uneventful. I expected it to be harder to pilot a giant pink metal bird but, no. It was like second nature. Not to say it wasn't awesome, even in a simulation. Being this high in the simulated sky, working in harmony with my friends, using all the fun tricks and weapons of my mech. It almost makes turning into Filia worth it. Struggling to put on the spandex was a pain though. It would be easier if morphing wasn't exhausting.

I hop out of my mech refreshed. That's new. Usually training is exhausting, but I feel great.

"Hey Filia. We are going to the youth centre, wanna come?" Leo asks. I could definitely go for some food. Screw it. Why not?

"Yeah, sure!" Gosh, I sound eager. I'm a better actor than I thought. "I'll meet y'all there."

"Sure you don't want to come with us?" Ziggy asks, now back in their civilian clothes. 

"Oh, uh, I have to work some stuff out with Kepler." I lie. This would be so much easier if I could just unmorph and still be Filia.

"Oh no problem."

I catch Scott looking at me from across the mech bunker. Is he okay? I give him a small wave. He should know everythings okay. He's only been in that body for a couple of days, as his best mate I can't let him feel bad about a natural reaction. Even if it was in response to me. Wait. Is he blushing? My face is warm? Oh god, am I blushing too?

"See everyone soon!" I shout. If I take off now to 'look for Kepler' no one would blame me for running. This bunker is huge. And Kepler could be anywhere. I just want to meet up with everyone in a timely fashion.

I slam the bathroom door behind me. Deeps breaths, Fi. The blushing is weird, but it's probably just getting used to this body. It doesn't mean anything. And besises I have bigger things to worry about. I need to change. 

I take another deep breath  I can't keep avoiding looking at my new body. Most people aren't scared of their bodies, they just avoid looking at them because they are weird and gross. With my eyes closed, I unzip the back of the spandex, slowly peeling it off. If I want to keep this act up I need to get used to seeing my body. 

I open my clenched eyes and look down. My brain goes back to my sleepy escapades from earlier. This should be weirding me out more. I'm a guy after all. Everything I'd seen about guys turning into girls says this should be a huge moment. Something I should be terrified of or in some weirder cases attracted to. But there's nothing spectacular about the experience. I guess it's nice to look down and not hate what I see. Content. That's the best word for the feeling. Maybe, it's because there aren't any expectations I have for this body. I can't really think of anything the girl I'm looking at needs to change? I don't know. Maybe I'm just a guy and this body is so disconnected from me that it doesn't feel real.

I slip my dress and legging back on and wrestle with the boots I'd been given. Finally, I look in the mirror and make some adjustments. Smoothing out the dress, adjusting my hair, making sure nothing was bunched up, it all felt natural. Nothing like grooming myself in my usual body. Probably something to do with that brain hard wiring that made it easier to fight or fly a giant bird.

I stumble out, feeling odd. I should be more worried about something changing my brain to work with these changes? I don't feel like my identities changed at all. It's probably fine. Hopefully. It can't be that bad. I fold my suit clothes and hand it to Kepler.

"Astrus, can you teleport me near the youth centre?" I ask my communicator.

"Of course. Have fun, Filia." He replies as a pink light envelops me. The world fades away, and I reappear behind the youth centre.

I pull up my phone to make sure nothing is off. The girl on the screen looks good. Perfect. I strut around to the front, catching some weird looks from guys as I go in. Maybe they don't know where I came from. Maybe it's because Filia isn't a regular.

The gang is in their usual spot. Scott's talking to them about something. There's an empty seat next to him.

"I'm worried about Ryan. I invited him to come along but I haven't heard back." Scott says. Should I stay away? What's the correct etiquette in an alter ego situation? Maybe I should wait. Filia hasn't met Ryan so should she even be there.

"He's fine. He probably just needed to recharge after the Anemobot attack." Thank the Power, Summer has my back. If I was still Ryan I would probably need to sleep after freaking out like I did.

"Yeah. I guess that makes sense. It just sucks you know? I want to introduce him to Fi. I think they'd get along and…"

"Hi, guys," I chirp. Let's interupt his impossible thought. This voice does the bubbly girl thing really well. "What ya talkin 'bout?" Maybe that's too bubbly. Do I even care? I sit in the empty spot, my spot.

"It's nothing." Why is he blushing again?

"Okay?" No point pushing it. I should just enjoy hanging out with everyone.

----- 

"Please let me know when you are going to be out late, or at least pick up your phone. I was worried sick."  The exhaustion from today finally catches up with me now that I'm Ryan again.

"Sorry. My phone died." I lie.  

"Are you okay at least?"

"Yeah, Dad." I take ocf my jumper and throw it in the washing pile. "I didn't even see any of the monsters."

"Okay..." He's obviously not convinced. Or maybe he's worried. Realistically I don't know why anyone would be worried about Ryan. "Just sit down, we are having sausages tonight." No point in arguing. Not when I'm already starved.

"Okay."

"I know you-- wait really? I'll get you your plate." 

We eat dinner in silence. He tries to start conversation occasionally, but I'm too focused on my food. I haven't been this hungry in a while and I don't want to repeat Filia's drunk escapades anytime soon.

After finishing dinner I head up to bed, reassure Scott that I'm fine and then get under the covers and slip into sweet, sweet unconsciousness.

"I love you, Filia." Scott says as he pulls his lips away from mine. His voice washes over me, calming me. I'm his princess. Just for the night. 

"I love you too, Scott." I lean in for another kiss and he happily obliges. I feel like I'm floating. Why does this feel so good? I'm a guy. Wait. I'm a guy. This can't last forever.

I need to get away from him. The clock is about to strike twelve. I squirm free from his embrace, jump from his arms and hit the ground running. My princess gown drapes behind me as I sprint away. It's so beautiful. I frown as the dress is tarnished by dirt. The heels I'm wearing begin to slip off. Maybe that is something he can remember me by.

The clocks bell rings and my body starts to degrade into sludge, staining my dress. My beautiful flowing hair falls out in clumps as I continue running. I must be bald now. My softer skin falls off in sheets, slabs of flesh hit the ground.  My chest is reabsorbed into my body becoming a beer gut, as coarse disgusting hair begins sprouting everywhere. My hands were so dainty in the hands of the prince, but now they are grotesquely oversized; my fingers are like bratwurst and callouses cover every inch of my palms. Not even they were even safe from the hair. I shouldn't have let Astrus give me hope. I should of turned down his offer. I should have just lived my life like I was meant to.

I want to die.

I'll never be his princess again.

What's the point? One night as a princess is the best I'll ever get. 

"Ryan, clean the dishes." An angry male voice barks.

"Ryan, you need to man up and work." I think it's my Dad. 

"Ryan, mop the floor." Not the kind one.

The work of a whipping boy is never done. There is no prince coming to save me. No escape from the monotony. Cleaning, hard labor, cooking, that's my job. It will always be my job. Eventually, I'll get married to someone and be a good husband to her. I'll forget all about the time I could have been the princess to the most handsome man in the world. 

My body will grow old, my hair or what's left of it will thin. I'll grow old and wrinkly. Stuck as a man. Dying as a man. Growing old as a man. That's all life has in store for me. Why should I bother any more? It would be so easy to have an accident and--

KNOCK KNOCK.

"I'm looking for a young woman." The prince's voice echoed through the house. The girl from last night is dead. Never to be seen again. No matter how much I want her back. No matter how much I want to go to him and be swept away in a fantasy. He would never recognise me. My hair has only just started to grow back. Short fuzz from where it had been shaved two days ago. I miss my hair from last night.

"Look I don't know why you're here. There's only me and my son," says Dad.

"I'm looking for a young woman from last night's ball. Witnesses say someone matching her description was spotted around here." I want to go up stairs and talk to the prince. There is no way he could recognize me, or take me away from here. Even if he's repulsed that I'm actually a guy it didn't matter. They had magicians there. They could help me become a girl. 

"Only men around here."

"You can let him try it on if you'd like," says a second Dad. A more familiar voice.

"I have already knocked on every other door. May as well give it a try." Scott says. His gorgeous voice melts me through the floorboards.

"Son, get up here!" The second Dad calls.  

I walk up the stairs. My body is cumbersome, it's movements sloppy and clumsy. Those shoes won't fit me anymore. The dress I had melted. I'm not even a girl anymore. Why am I torturing myself like this? On the off chance things work out? Like that's going to happen.

"Try this on, my dear," the prince says with a wink. My dear? Isn't that too fast? He hasn't even put the shoe on and yet? Does he know who I am. Is he gay and into my guy form. Why doesn't that make me happy? I should just try to put it on. It won't fit anyway.

My feet slip into the heels no problem and my body begins to float. A light blinds me, wrapping me in a warm and soothing embrace. The ragged clothes I'm wearing melt into a beautiful blue dress that fluffes out at my hips accentuating parts of my body that had only just begun fixing themselves. My chest goes from flat to once again filling out my dress like it had at the ball. My prince stands in front of me, looking at me like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, his princess. "Now where were we, Fi?" It's perfect. I'm me again. His voice melts me once more as my morning alarm rings.

Shit.

I open my phone. That nightmare was too much. There needs to be something I can do to distract myself. A notification appears.

Scott: Hey Ryan! Schools out for the week. We are doing boys night tommorow. 

Tommorow? I pinch myself. Damn not a dream. Is Summer doing girls night as well? She can't be, right? There's no way she could get the go ahead so quickly.