Pink Ranger Problems

"Are you okay?" Dad asks. 

As Filia I tried to avoid exploring the differences between my form and hers. It was temporary, never something I should be okay with. I was a man. Turning into a girl was bad. Even when I accepted I could, getting used to it, seeing her as me could have created problems. 

The girl in dad's camera, touching her face, feeling the changes happening is me. My face is softer than it's ever been, despite my recent neglect. My eyes are vibrant. My smile is cute. I'm cute. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to think that, but who cares. After years of hating looking at myself or acknowledging what I am, it was nice to see a girl looking back at me.

"I'm good." Even my voice sounds a little different, probably on account of it being moulded so quickly. I'm never gonna hear that gravelly monotone again. Part of me wishes I could have kept some parts of that voice, even if I didn't like it.

"Are you sure? You're not dizzy? This can't have been easy on your body," He's fussing over me, just like he always has. "I'll get you something to eat, can you stand? I should keep an eye on you."

"I'm fine, Dad." 

"That's good, but I'd still like to keep an eye on you. This is alien technology, Filia, we can't be too careful." He looks like I just won a football match, but scraped my knee in the process. A healthy helping of pride and a dash of worry.

"I can walk."

"Okay, I'll support you. Let's get your phone."

I should probably let Summer and Scott know I'm okay. I've drunk the Clownfish Orange and Dad is taking care of me. After earlier, it wouldn't surprise me if they thought I was trying to run away.

Dad puts his arm around me and walks me to the kitchen. I haven't lost as much height as I thought I would. I'd lost a few inches. Was I shorter than this before, or did I just not have a good sense of scale? Who knows. Does it matter when I feel so comfortable? I'm still going to be shorter than Scott regardless, that bastard.

"I can't believe my little girl is smiling again." Dad says. 

"I'm not smiling." Thinking about Scott does things to my brain I need to get under control.

"You are, you don't have to be ashamed of it. I was the same way when I first got my body."

"It's not going to wear off, right?”

“The giddy feeling or the transformation?” he chuckles.

“The transformation.” It feels silly to ask but it’s hard to believe I did it. I couldn't go back.

“It didn’t for me, but even if it did wear off, there are still ways for you to transition and I will fight anyone I have to, to get you that care if it’s what you want.” It dawns on me that he doesn’t know what causes people to stay changed. Also what is he talking about?

“What do you mean?”

“There’s things we could do if something happens that would help you be the girl you want to be.” 

“But Clownfish Orange exists.”

“It does but a lot of people aren’t able to get it, and instead do what we did before Dysphorus and if something goes wrong, we will get you access to that.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“I’m not doing anything amazing.” He chuckles from behind the stove. I don’t know what he’s cooking. He’s taking care of me and that's what matters. That other guy’s face flashes in my head. “Just what a Dad is supposed to do.”

“I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, Fillia.”

A knock at the door makes me jump, interrupting the perfect father daughter moment.

“Keep an eye on the pancakes.” Dad says. “You remember when to turn the pancakes over?”

“Yes, Dad.” With my messy oversized clothes and freshly minted body it was probably best that I stayed away from any of Dad’s friends until I can explain myself, and until I can get more clothes that fit better.

“Hi, Cade.” The voice sounds puffed. “Is Fi– Ryan home”

I forgot to send the texts to Scott and Summer. Shit.

“No, sh- he’s not. I thought they were with you.” Dad lies. I’m really lucky to have those two in my life. I don’t know if there’s a point in letting him continue lying though. Scott and Summer might end up panicking if he does. 

I turn off the stove. Take a deep breath and stumble out. Before I can even reach the door of the kitchen though, I trip over my stupid oversized pants and fall on my face. 

“Ow!” I squeak. Oh my goodness that was a squeak. I hear three sets of footsteps run in and look up to see Summer, Scott, and Dad all looking down at me. 

“This is, uhhh, Ryan’s cousin.” Dad lies as he tries to help me up. I’m ridiculously blessed. Summer stifles a laugh while Scott remains silent.  

“They know.”

“Oh good. I’m not good at lying.” Dad says. 

“You ran off, Fi,” Summer says. She's trying not to laugh at this situation. They both seem relieved that I didn’t do something ridiculous. Which is a fair assumption. I make ridiculous decisions all the time.

Scott is silent, does he not like it? Do I look weird or something?

“I needed to tell Dad.”

“And you didn’t tell us,” she argues.

“I was in a rush. If I took longer I might have chickened out.” Was it irresponsible to run out on them? Yeah. Definitely, but I never do anything if I actually think about it. 

“I can’t argue with that.”

"Are you okay, Scott?" I ask. He hasn't said a word since he came in.

"Hi, yes. I'm good," he says, a goofy blush hitting his cheeks. I did that. Even while not a superhero, with flawed skin and slightly chapped lips and wearing my old oversized clothes.

"Did you two want pancakes?" Dad asks. "I should make sure they aren't burning. Can you keep an eye out for side effects?" 

"Of course, Cade," Summer says, rolling her eyes at Scott and I.

"I'll be back, with food for you kids."

"Wait Scott, have you eaten?" I ask. 

"I don't think so." 

"Dad! Scott hasn't eaten."

"You're a growing boy, Scott!" Dad yells from the kitchen.

After three days of excitement, soul destroying anxiety and emotions, it felt nice to sit down with nothing to hide. Scott knows about me! And my feelings! Dad knows too! Summer doesn't have to protect me anymore. It's great. 

"You are such a dumbass, Filia," Summer says. She's gone from being basically a stranger to probably my best non-Scott friend. I can tell when she's being playful when insulting me now. I was never sure before all this.

"Yeah, I know." 

—

One thing became clear after Scott and Summer had left; I am not as brave as Scott. I could face my fears of creepy rock people, transition overnight and beat up giant monsters, but going to school, as a girl? No. Too far for now. Maybe no one would notice that Ryan had disappeared but if they did, they’d notice me and then the panic would set in and… 

Freaking out isn't productive. Dad was okay with me taking the week off, so I still had three days to figure it out. Even if today seems to be another day of lying on my bed in my messy, monocolor room since everyone else is at school. Apparently transitioning doesn't solve my inability to get out of bed, or my lack of clothes for my new body, or the depressing state of my room. I still have to do things about it. Which sucks.

I heave myself up. Maybe I could start piling my clothes into a donation pile. It's all good stuff, but I'm a decent bit smaller now. Oh and then I could start replacing my clothes, and get the ones from the command centre. Then I'm probably gonna need to get some support since I can't rely on the bra from my suit.

That's a plan! That is something to do!

My wrist beeps. Throwing all of that planning in the woodchipper. Damn it.

"Hello Filia, would you be able to come in?" Kepler asks. I can faintly hear a woman talking in the background. It doesn't sound like Summer. 

"Is everything alright?"

"Of course. Everything is fine. Just some culture clashes." Kepler squeaks.

"Teleport me over. I need to steal some clothes anyway."

The pink light is a lot more comfortable now that it isn't trying to morph me every single time I go to the command centre. Unfortunately that means I arrive wearing an oversized hoodie, and pants that barely fit in front of the very well dressed lady currently reprimanding Astrus 

"One can coming from the 'black market' was enough to worry about, Astrus." Stella Baker, the news lady, puts air quotes around the world black market. 

"It was for her wellbeing." Astrus says sheepishly. Was it possible for a hologram to blush?

"I understand that but you're going to start a scandal, old man."

She smiles at me. It's a warm smile. It almost makes me forget that she was intimidating a space wizard a second ago. That alone would make me believe that she was a ranger. Her flawless brown skin and locs done up in a bun exude a professional aura. Like she just finished interviewing a very important person, but everyone was watching to see her instead. She walks over to me and my hand starts shaking.

"Sorry about that. I'm Stella. Blue ranger and journalist." She extends a hand and I shake it. Is it weird to be starstruck by a journalist? Maybe. She used to do segments on the Dysphorus attacks on the anniversary of first contact and I would watch them religiously.

"Hi, I'm Filia." I manage to avoid stuttering. I can make it through this. 

"Nice to meet you, Filia. Sorry that we couldn't meet under less trying circumstances. Astrus does not know how to keep in touch."

"I wanted you all to go find your own ways in the world." Judging by the look on Stella's face he was just digging himself a deeper hole.

"And now that we have, we have no way of contacting you!"

"Why would you need to contact me after leaving the team?" Astrus asks. How long has he been on Earth? He should know a little bit about people. He seemed pretty in tune with us earlier.

"Because you kept us alive you ass!" 

The hologram raises a brow."And? It is my job." 

"Oh please, Joanne told us about why you do this. You're a big softie."

"It is good to see you, Stella."

"It's good to see you, too." she said.

"So you really did call your old team, Astrus?" I ask. Or was it just her. He said he'd call them when I tried the gold morpher, but he hasn't kept me updated.

"I only called her. She is all we need." Astrus looked away from me and Stella.

"What he means is, we need to think of a cover story for why two teenagers were able to get Clownfish Orange soda. The black market story only works as long as people aren't investigating it."

"Which they will. I doubt Scott and I are the only ones who want this." I wish I could help them as well but right now that is probably out of my scope. I still haven't actually clarified things with Scott. There's a world in peril. I have to face school. 

"We could blame it on Loch," Astrus said.

"Potentially? I'm really not sure. You should have called Clay for this. I'm just a messenger."

"Clay is busy." 

"Who's Clay?" It's like I'm only getting half of what's being said. 

"Black Ranger. They were our strategist," Stella explains.

"Oh, okay."

"We could just hope it blows over?" Kepler interjects, before going back to whatever they are doing. That sounds like the best option to me. Anything to avoid the spotlight.

"How much sway do you have over what gets published, Stella?" Astrus asks.

"I can try to pull anything that comes up but I only work in one news room. It could still become an issue."

The teleporter's noise makes me turn around. The person who got here looks to be around the same age as Stella. Their olive skin darkens around the eyes either because of make up or exhaustion and their hair is done in an undercut. They were wearing a black graphic tee, black denim, and a pristine white lab coat that clashes horribly.

"It's fine, Stella. No one has noticed before." The person smiles at us.

"I thought you were busy?" Stella asks.

"I was, but Kepler let me know you were here and were struggling to figure out what to do." They are probably one of the other Euphora rangers. Why did they get a team name but we didn't? I'll have to brainstorm with everyone later. "It won't be an issue. This whole conversation is just to reassure her."

"Reassure me?" I ask.

"That there's not going to be any issues. No one has noticed the other dozen times I've given someone a can of this stuff, and they won't notice this time." They wave at me and it's like I'm a kid again. These people were my heroes and here they are. Unmasked.

"Kepler, why did you bring Clay here?" Astrus hisses.

Clay just smiles at him. "It's been a while, Astrus."

"Because hearing it from the source will calm Filia down more than hearing it from any of us." Kepler beeps.

They turn back to me. "Speaking of which, Filia. You've researched Clownfish Orange, right?" 

"Yeah, everything that's available."

"It's available through a few medical avenues, with a lot of gatekeeping," Clay explains. "There are of course black market ways to get it, but most people don't like to ask questions."

"Okay? But doesn't that just mean that I'll be implicated in the blackmarket? That's still a potential scandal."

"Clay, you're a genius!" Stella exclaims.

"You flatter me."

Kepler, Astrus and I must look very confused right now. They were celebrating but we still haven't sorted out the problem yet.

Stella turns to me excited. This woman was one of my heroes and now she's excited about being able to help me. Is their entire team this nice? They did get picked to be rangers.

"Filia, you can say you went through the medical channels. No one is dedicated enough to hunt for holes in the story. Your medical information is private. I don't know how I didn't see it earlier." 

"So I just tell Dad to lie and everything is fine?"

"Yeah. You're an adult so as long as he doesn't cause problems, there's no scandal." Clay explains.

Once again I am left with no excuses to not just jump into this head first, and I hate it. Three weeks ago I was so adamant about everything. I was a man and if I worked hard at it I'd eventually get to a point where I was happy. There was a goal. There was something to strive for. I had reasons to be around Scott and the others for a little while longer. Now all I can think to do is get clothes and clean my room. Short term goals. I'm eighteen. I should be thinking about uni, or work.

"Great!" I manage to say. Even after changing, I'm nothing like them. I'm not much like my friends either. I've barely talked to them since the other afternoon. 

The two ex rangers talk for a while with Astrus and Kepler while I collect my clothes. I'm still a mess. Maybe I should stay on task. I need clothes for next week. Hoodie and jeans would be the best choice unless I want to stand out. I take them back to the main room and Kepler sends me home. 

"I'll let you know if the other rangers stop by." The robot says as the command centre disappears.

Back in my room I start throwing my old clothes in a pile. Most of the pants and shorts weren't going to fit but the shirts and jumpers could at least work as pyjamas. Other girls look cute in oversized clothes? Maybe I could too. I could look cute for Scott even, maybe. I miss Scott. I wonder if he'd be okay with helping me work this out. It's four, so he should be out of class. Maybe I could model for him.