Playing God

Lira stood before her chair, just a few feet away.

“I’m glad it’s warm this evening,” she said, grasping the hem of her rough shirt and pulling it over her head. There was a flash of bare skin before I averted my eyes. “I do so dislike being cold. It’s a weakness of mine.”

I turned my head to study the silhouette of the hill on the far side of the valley, reflecting that it was indeed a very mild night.

“I don’t suppose you have weaknesses, do you?” she said. Her clothing rustled, then landed on her chair with a soft thump.

“Many,” I muttered. I could perhaps have legitimately turned to her when I answered her, but the prudent thing to do was to watch the grass waving gently in the wind on the distant slope. She’d taken her shirt off, after all, and I doubted she had anything covering her breasts beneath. Whether she wore any undergarments beyond that was, frankly, none of my concern.

“I didn’t know Gods could have weaknesses,” she said, and there was movement in the corner of my eye. As if she’d pushed down her trousers and was tugging them off her legs.

“Well, I have loads.” I’m only human. I glanced up at the glow of the evening sky, wondering if any stars had begun to appear.

“I can’t imagine what they are,” she said, with another rustle of clothing. “You seem perfect to me.”

I had no answer to that. Instead, I glanced down toward the stream, as it was in the opposite direction to Lira. It was only a little stream, cold and barely up to my knees when I’d washed in it the night before. It flowed between a few rocks, worn smooth with time.

There was another quiet rustle as Lira gathered her clothing, then stepped behind me into the hut, only to emerge a moment later, presumably with her towel.

Though there was plenty of space between my chair and the hut, for reasons I didn’t understand, she chose to walk in front of me, not behind. She had her towel – a small thing, barely adequate – draped over one arm instead of wrapped around her. Whatever undergarments she owned were clearly folded with her clothes somewhere in the hut.

I swallowed hard, looking down at the ground as she walked by, but I still couldn’t help but see an expanse of curvy, creamy, smooth skin.

“I won’t be long,” she said as she passed.

“Take your time.” My voice was croaky, but then my throat was dry. I wished I had some wine, or maybe a whisky.

I watched Lira’s horse awhile. It seemed oblivious to my torture, not even casting me a sympathetic glance.

The splashes and gasps of Lira’s bathing reached my ears. Evidence that the water was still cold. Good; that would help when it came to my turn.

Damn, it was going to be a long, torturous, frustrating night. The most beautiful woman I’d ever known in my life was bathing naked a couple dozen feet away, and she’d be sleeping in my bed.

Surely she still couldn’t find me so desirable after I’d abandoned her to Drakos’ tender care. (I was going to kill that fucker if it was the last thing I did.) Surely her Devotion had taken a hit, and her Faith was down.

I pulled up her info card, an act of self-flagellation that might help curb the heat of my raging blood:

 

I was betting she hadn’t gained nineteen points in Restoration off one single spell. Maybe the sheet was only showing it now that I knew she had it; I hadn’t before. But that was incidental.

She’d gained two levels since I’d seen her last. Maybe my companion-boosting God power was to thank. Both Faith and Devotion were up by six points each. If she had six points, like I did, had she put three in each time she’d leveled? That would mean that she could control it. Perhaps not as directly as I did, with numbers and character sheets. Maybe she simply chose to be more Faithful, and more Devoted. The Attraction, I had to assume, was growing organically.

The point was, even though I’d abandoned her, she’d chosen to tie herself even more strongly to me.

Was that freewill? Or was she, effectively, an NPC? Programmed to follow this path?

Was she even truly human?

I needed to know. I needed to be sure that she had the right to choose.

How could I test her?

“Would you like to use my towel?” Her voice snapped me out of my reverie. She’d snuck up on me, barefoot on the grass, as silent as could be.

I turned to her in reflex, without thinking.

 

The towel was wrapped around her, low on her breasts and high on her thighs, barely covering her. But before I could answer, she let it slip, catching it in one hand and holding it out to me. It might have been dusk, but there was light enough to catch the smooth curves of her pert breasts, her nipples raised and pointed. She must be cold.

“Thanks,” I said automatically, taking the towel. It was damp from her body.

She gave me a smile. “I’ll wait for you inside.”

Again she walked in front of me, giving me another smile as she slipped inside the hut.

Dammit, I’d watched her. Stupid willpower.

Cold bath first, and then I’d test her. I needed to know how much of this she was in control of.

I stripped off, leaving my clothes on my chair, then walked down to the river. It was brisk, to say the least, and I washed quickly.

What if the way Lira was acting was just the way she was?

What if she didn’t actually want me at all?

Easy with the smiles, because such was her nature. Casual with nudity, because that was the simplicity of Valoran culture.

Here I was, assuming she didn’t have the choice, but maybe she did have the choice, and her choice was to be just my High Priestess. Nothing more.

Yeah, that had to be it. I was making assumptions about things that simply weren’t there.

But that didn’t explain the Attraction stat, along with the ‘it applies only to Kaelan’. It had ranked up since I’d first seen her, too.

Dammit. That wholly undermined any argument of indifference. Back to square one.

I doused my head in the cold water, trying to get back some control. It still wasn’t enough. I lay down, letting the stream wash over me, holding myself in the water until I was shivering.

Then I got out, and strolled back up to the hut, the thick grass soft under my feet.

Her towel was on the back of my chair, where I’d left it. I picked it up, intending to use it to dry myself, but instead I held it to my face, inhaling the scent of her. A sweet, fresh fragrance, with just a hint of musk. It warmed me from within.

Shaking my head, I donned my thin shorts. She might be naked in there for all I knew, but I was damned if I was going to walk in nude. I had enough worries without that.

How could I test her?

I stepped into the hut, closing the door behind me. The embers of the hearth cast a low light that lit the single room well enough. It was warm, too. Welcome, after my prolonged submersion.

“Are you sure you don’t want to share the bed with me?” Lira asked. She was lying on one side, facing me, her head propped on her hand. The sheet was up only to her waist.

I swallowed hard.

“Can I ask you some questions?”

“Of course, Kaelan.”

I sat on the floor beside the hearth, the crackling flames casting flickering shadows that danced across the rough-hewn walls of the hut. The orange glow illuminated Lira’s form, accentuating the curves of her body, the sheet barely covering her hips. I forced myself to focus on the glowing embers instead of the enchanting figure just a few feet away.

How to do this. I could just ask ‘did she want me’, and her programming could answer for her. If indeed she was a program, or an NPC, an automaton … or whatever. I needed some kind of Turing test.

I thought hard. What would she say if she weren’t truly human – or if she didn’t know she wasn’t?

How would a computer game character respond to philosophical questions? Poorly, for sure. In denial or with deflection, most likely. It was a place to start.

“Have you ever wondered if we’re part of something bigger? Like … something might be watching us, or controlling us?”

“Hmm.” The noise was half amusement, half contemplation.

“I’m a High Priestess. My life has been spent wondering that very thing. In fact, it may be the reason I chose this path.” She paused, as if contemplating her own journey. “It’s the search for truth, isn’t it? The search within all of us to balance who we are against the forces that seem to pull us this way and that.

“Religion … that age-old question … did God make man, or did man make God? I admit, it was one about which I’ve often had my doubts … until you.”

Damn, but that was a good answer. And somewhere within it, I’d turned to stare at her. Just listening to her voice … watching her speak.

The sheet was still lying only across her hips. She was so beautiful, it was an effort to look away. But I forced myself to.

Willpower has gained a rank. Willpower is now level 7.

Helpful, thanks.

Alright, so she’d passed the philosophy test. What else?

The direct approach.

“Are you free to make your own choices?”

“I’m not sure any of us are truly free,” Lira said, her tone thoughtful. “I suppose we’re all products of our upbringing, our culture, the world around us. We might like to think we’re in control, but are we not just responding the way we’ve learned to respond? I don’t know, truth be told.”

Wow. Okay, now I was doubting whether I was even free.

But Lira hadn’t finished. “If you’re asking whether I choose to be here, choose to be a High Priestess, then the answer is yes. With all my heart.”

Her answer should have reassured me, yet my heart raced not just from her beauty but from the uncertainty she represented. I was drawn to her, but that very attraction made it harder to accept her claim of free will. Was I falling for a woman or a well-crafted illusion?

She’d passed both tests so far. Perhaps what was needed was something more … obscure.

“In a town, there’s a barber who shaves everyone who does not shave themselves. Does the barber shave himself?”

Lira gave a laugh. “What is the purpose of that question?”

“Just to see how you answer it.” But her response was already my answer. Her humor, the way she’d seen straight through it. Could a computer do that?

“Well, it’s a paradox, isn’t it? There is no answer.” She smiled. “Maybe the barber only trims.”

She’d passed everything I could throw her way, but I had one last idea. Surely, a programmed NPC would only have the knowledge they needed for their role in this world. But would Lira have a sense of her past, her childhood, her reasons for her life choices?

“Why did you become a High Priestess?” I asked, bracing myself for her response. This was the critical moment that would either confirm my doubts or shatter them completely.

Again she smiled. “I became a High Priestess because I found you.”

It was the first test she’d failed, the answer so obvious and predictable. I turned my gaze to the hearth and stared at it in dismay. The other replies had been so good, I’d almost come to believe—

“Before I found you, I was actually a Priestess of Sharlath. But when Drakos came and slaughtered our armies, I knew we would need help from another God. I knew Sharlath wouldn’t aid us.”

I looked back to her. “Why?”

She gave a short, mocking laugh. “Sharlath is a Spider God. If I’d somehow managed to summon him, he’d have probably eaten me. Then Drakos, and everyone else, too. A bit like curing the patient by killing them.”

“You’re not a Priestess of Sharlath anymore?”

“No, I’m not.” She gave a small shrug, her breasts reflecting the dancing light of the fire. “It’s no great loss. The Priesthood of Sharlath comprises … um … well, they tend to be quite old, rarely open to new ideas, and a little … um … reluctant to do anything to upset the status quo.” Mercenary, selfish, power-hungry old men. But Lira was too gracious to say so. “I gave up on Sharlath when my Divination magic blessed me in finding you. That’s why I’m a High Priestess. I’m afraid I’m your only Priestess.”

“Fine by me. I don’t need more than one.”

And it actually made sense … from her perspective. It didn’t address why her Divination magic had perceived my Dungeon Mastering as God-like powers, but maybe that was an error ascribed to the complexities of looking across realms. If she’d somehow been inside my mind, then … yes, it could’ve appeared like I’d controlled the world, just like she’d said when first we’d met. That still didn’t address how I’d actually gained God powers when she’d summoned me, or the strange interface that apparently only I could see. Maybe it was a consequence of the magic she’d used, or a feature of the mysterious pyramidal temple I’d woken in. Or maybe I’d never know.

But I couldn’t deny her responses had been as human as I could possibly have dreamed. There was a strength in her conviction, an unwavering belief in her choices that captivated me. I found myself admiring her resilience.

I wasn’t sure I could’ve done better myself.

So Lira was human. Fully, thoroughly, human. I was convinced of that now. She was a living, breathing soul, and likely everyone else in this world was too.

It made it all the more important to save them.

If I didn’t rid Valorah of Drakos and his men soon, all her people would be vulnerable to tyranny and abuse, just like Lira could have been.

I turned to gaze at Lira once again. She was beautiful, she was devoted to me, and she was so very nude in my bed.

I hesitated, my eyes lingering on her for a moment longer. “We should … get some sleep,” I finally said, forcing the words out. “Busy day tomorrow.”

Willpower has gained a rank. Willpower is now level 8.

That was getting irritating.

“Alright, Kaelan.” She lay back down, drawing the sheet up over her. “Good night.”

I pulled my blanket over me and lay down beside the hearth. The floor was hard, but that was the least of my problems. I had a lot on my mind.

“I hope I answered your questions to your satisfaction.” Her voice sounded uncertain.

“You’ve never been anything but perfectly satisfactory,” I said, with feeling.

“Oh. That’s good.”

Silence lingered for a few minutes.

“If you’re uncomfortable or change your mind … just slip in here with me whenever you want.”

Dammit. Now I really wasn’t going to get any sleep.