Please Don’t Die, My Lady

Chapter 16

When I last saw her, Sena, who had been wearing her school uniform, was now dressed in much lighter attire.

A white blouse and a navy cardigan.

A neat and elegant outfit that suited her perfectly.

Her hair was lightly braided, giving her a refined, ladylike appearance.

Honestly, I might be the only one still wearing a school uniform over the weekend.

Most students from families wealthy enough to send their children to the academy likely brought an entire wardrobe with them.

Even the duchess used to have an entire clothing warehouse to herself in the past.

“My” past and the duchess’ past were equally nostalgic.

Now? Just two uniforms.

One of which had been so soaked in blood it rendered me practically a pauper with only a single outfit.

I tried my best to wash it myself, but the stains wouldn’t come out with just water.

Wearing such a bloodied outfit in front of others was out of the question.

A duchess must always be elegant and dignified.

“Duchess, I apologize for asking this so suddenly, but may I ask you a question?”

As I was idly adding commentary to the image of Sena in my mind, she, who had been quietly observing me in return, spoke up.

Her tone was noticeably more subdued than before.

It was striking enough that she seemed gloomier than me, even though I was, quite literally, at my worst physically and mentally.

Come to think of it, the last time she visited was when I was delirious with a high fever. Was this her first time seeing my blood?

Since Sena was in a different class from mine, she probably had no idea what kind of treatment I typically received.

Ah, wait. Our first meeting was when I tripped on the stairs.

I even split my forehead open and bled back then.

So, she’d seen it before. Why was she overreacting now?

Curious, I tilted my head slightly, then pressed on my forehead wound again.

A sharp pain jolted my thoughts back into place.

“…I really need to stop.”

“Excuse me? Stop what?”

“Oh, that wasn’t directed at you, Sena.”

It seemed like the duchess’ aversion to people was rubbing off on me.

Recently, I found myself retreating into my own world no matter what I was doing, with slower reactions as a result.

Even when I was too despondent to want to do anything.

Even when my whole body trembled as if I might collapse at any moment.

The duchess’ role demanded I always present a composed appearance.

Even escapism needed moderation.

Focus, now.

I needed to ensure that this fragile girl looking at me with such trembling eyes wouldn’t get hurt any further.

Sena’s expression was filled with unease, so I decided to ask.

She seemed to think my earlier words were meant for her.

But they weren’t.

“So, what is it you wanted to ask?”

Finally startled out of her thoughts, Sena blurted out the question I’d been expecting.

“I’m curious… How did you hurt your forehead?”

“I tripped on the stairs. Just like I did last time in front of you.”

“…You’re saying it was just a fall?”

“Is that a problem?”

I answered truthfully without hesitation, but her expression remained skeptical.

Her eyes stayed on my forehead, and she spoke again, her tone laced with doubt.

“…It’s just that the wound looks like someone deliberately tore the skin and repeatedly picked at it. It’s such a mess… unless it was done intentionally over multiple attempts….”

Sharp, isn’t she?

Or perhaps the condition of my wound was just that terrible.

Well, it’s true. Over the past few days, I’d clawed at it and stopped the bleeding dozens of times. Hoping for it to heal perfectly was probably wishful thinking.

Recently, there were signs of pus mixed in, not just blood.

It might rot away completely soon.

Given how it looked, her reaction was understandable.

Of course, I had no intention of telling her the truth.

I never said I wouldn’t lie at all. I just wouldn’t lie unnecessarily.

Even if I had to obey, it was better to avoid causing undue worry.

So, I deliberately feigned indifference.

Because, in truth, it wasn’t a big deal.

“It’s nothing. You heard, didn’t you? I haven’t been bullied these past few days.”

“That’s… true.”

So she’d heard something, at least.

Then what was she so curious about?

Did she think I’d done it to myself?

If so, I might just give her a round of applause. Truly.

Forcing a grin, I raised my voice slightly.

“Or do you think I did this to myself? Haha.”

“That couldn’t possibly be… right?”

Yes, that’s right.

There’s no way someone like Hans, who claimed the duchess had a cruel and strong personality, would believe she’d self-harm over school bullying.

Even I didn’t think so.

If it had been the pure duchess without “me,” she might have starved herself to death in a corner.

Or poisoned herself.

She wouldn’t have been able to endure the process of degrading into something pitiful.

Honestly, the current duchess’ fear of death and pain might be a result of “me.”

We chipped away at each other and grafted onto one another.

If this wasn’t dependence, then what was it?

Oh, I see.

In practical terms, we were married, weren’t we, duchess?

This could practically count as a common-law relationship.

Living together, merging physically and mentally.

Yeah.

Sorry. That was nonsense.

I pressed firmly on my forehead again.

The barely healing wound was on the verge of bursting open, but I stopped just short of letting it bleed.

I couldn’t show blood in front of Sena.

The dull ache was oddly unsatisfying, but I couldn’t let myself get used to it.

That would be dangerous.

“Oh. Oh no, that must hurt…! Let me help you treat it,” Sena exclaimed, alarmed by my actions, and approached me hurriedly.

She must have assumed I pressed on my wound because it hurt.

That wasn’t the case, but I didn’t bother correcting her.

I no longer had the will to refuse her kindness.

Sena’s small, warm hands gently cradled my forehead.

It had been a long time since I’d felt the warmth of another person, and it was surprisingly pleasant.

Last time, because of my fever, her touch felt cold, but now I realized her body temperature was rather high.

A soft, white glow emanating from her magic focused on my wound.

The light was so bright I closed my eyelids instinctively.

Before long, the sharp pain I had been enduring gradually dissipated.

As the white glow faded, Sena rubbed the area of my wound a few times before withdrawing her hand.

I raised my own hand to touch it.

It felt as though the wound had never existed, as if time itself had reversed.

Magic truly was convenient.

If the duchess had been even half as capable as Sena, life would have been much easier.

But, unfortunately, she had no talent for anything of the sort.

No magic, no physical prowess, no academic aptitude—nothing.

That was why she clung so desperately to decorum, etiquette, and the gaze of others.

Even though she hated people, she still craved their recognition.

“Thank you.”

I smiled.

After all, I’d decided to obey the words of ‘humans’ like Sena.

Whether she continued to provoke the duchess’ inferiority complex, or tormented me with her pity, all I needed to do was keep smiling.

It was easy, wasn’t it? Being a doll.

If you stopped thinking of yourself as human, everything became so much simpler.

The duchess would never admit she was inferior to the trash in our class.

Unconsciously, I scratched at the spot where the wound had been.

Ah, right. It’s gone now.

For some reason, I felt oddly regretful. I pressed down on the area firmly.

Staying here any longer felt unbearable.

It was time to leave.

I spoke to Sena, who had been staring into space ever since finishing her healing magic.

“Thank you for treating me. It’s completely healed now. If there’s nothing else, may I take my leave?”

“…Duchess.”

Oh.

Her expression darkened even further.

She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

It was the same look I’d seen when she pleaded with me last time.

Something seemed wrong, but I couldn’t figure out what.

I froze in place and waited. Sena slowly opened her mouth to speak.

“How long has it been since you last ate?”

“…….”

I let out a faint sigh without realizing it.

This was exactly why I’d tried to leave quickly.

Before I could respond, Sena’s tone grew cold and analytical, entirely at odds with her expression, as she listed what she had deduced.

I tried to interject, but it was useless.

“Before casting healing magic, I always use insight magic to assess a person’s condition. That’s why I get close to them.”

“…You must have misunderstood.”

“I thought something was odd from the beginning.

Your condition is worse than that of someone from the slums.

To be this severely malnourished for nearly a week… the only conclusion is that you haven’t eaten anything at all.”

She took a step closer and placed her hand on my shoulder.

Her gaze was heavy with emotion.

I couldn’t pin it down exactly, but it was a mixture of pity, concern, and a hint of anger.

“Duchess… at this rate, you’ll die.”

The smile I had been forcing fell away.

There was no need to emphasize the point.

I already knew.

“Was the wound on your forehead really from a fall?”

No, it wasn’t.

You’re sharp, aren’t you?

Or perhaps I should commend your magical skill in this case.

“I don’t know. About anything. Duchess, no matter how I look at you, you don’t seem like the person Hans described.”

I don’t know either.

Who is this person Hans talked about?

We’re right here.

Then and now, as weak as ever.

What did he see?

What kind of person was the duchess in his eyes?

I truly don’t know.

Anything.