Precious Thing

I was never a greedy person. When I desired something that wasn’t mine, I only took as much as I needed. That was my life’s motto and how I lived my life.“I… I was wrong, I…”I never imagined that I’d become so greedy for someone, that I’d endure so much discomfort just to have him.“What did you do wrong?”“I… I ran away…”“Finish your sentence. Don’t keep cutting it off.”The man trembling before me, panting heavily, bit down hard on his lower lip. Tears welled up in his eyes, on the verge of spilling over, and his hands tied to the bedpost clenched tightly. I simply stared at him as I exhaled cigarette smoke.“Don’t be so cocky. Speak properly, before I really ruin your knees.”“…I ran away… I was wrong. I’m sorry.”“Yeah.”At my indifferent response, a glimmer of hope appeared in his eyes. Was he seriously thinking it would end like this?“…Now, please, untie me…”I scoffed. It was amusing that he was demanding to be untied, despite his body still eagerly responding to me. I tossed my cigarette on the floor and crushed it under my shoe. Then, I rose from where I sat near the bed and approached him.“Are you sure you didn’t mean to beg me to shove it in?”I shoved my fingers inside him, and the sticky remnants of earlier overflowed and trickled out.“No… no!”“Not true, huh? You’re practically flooding down here. Just ask me to use it, like before. I won’t refuse.”Groaning with a pained expression, he shook his head vehemently. It seemed that over time, he had forgotten everything about our past.“If you don’t remember, should we start over from the beginning? What did we do at the start?”“No, I was wrong… I said I was wrong…”“So what?”I cut him off and pulled my fingers out abruptly. His body jerked back, and tears of frustration streamed down his face.“Oh, I remember now. Didn’t I spank you?”“No! No! I didn’t want to…!”“No! I didn’t… I didn’t want it to be like this!”I grabbed his tightly furrowed face and lifted it up. His rough, labored breaths hit my palm. Despite my anger towards him, that sweet breath of his was strangely comforting.“I saw you walk in here on your own two feet.”“Haa… haa…”“Why did you run away, Lee Yesin? Did you really want to see me lose it?”My gaze must have been something to behold because he lost his words, barely able to breathe as he stared at me. I loosened the grip I had on his face and slowly stroked his cheek.“Don’t even think about doing anything on your own for a while.”“……”“Not eating, not going to the bathroom, not sleeping.”His trembling body, swollen with bruises and his reddened eyes, gave a faint shudder as he let out a thin breath.“If you understand, close your eyes.”After a few hesitant movements of his lips, he slowly lowered his eyelids as if following steps in a process. I grabbed his neck and kissed him deeply. The monster inside me, restless from days of sleeplessness, finally yawned and closed its eyes.