Chapter 18
A question slowly popped up in Gu Wenning’s mind.
What did Yu Gong moving mountains have to do with singing?
Fu Yanhe gave Gu Wenning ten seconds. Seeing that Gu Wenning didn’t speak, he cleared his throat and answered himself, “It’s ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.’”
Gu Wenning blinked and asked in confusion, “Why?”
“Because twinkle and twinkle, the sky is filled with little stars, and mountains can be moved by just a twinkle.”
Gu Wenning: “…”
He thought about many possibilities, but he didn’t expect it to be a bad joke or a homophone.
Wait a minute, Mr. Fu didn’t mean the storytelling he was talking about, was actually about bad jokes.
Gu Wenning had just had a bad premonition, but soon, his premonition came true, because Fu Yanhe really started telling cold, dizzying bad jokes one after another.
“Why is a flower funny?”
“Because it has a plot.”
“There once was a man named Tie, but his hair never grew. What disease did he have?”
“You don’t have to believe it, wife. I’ll tell you the answer. There’s nothing wrong with him.”
.
“There was a rich man who was walking his dog. Suddenly, a killer appeared and shot and killed his dog without saying a word. The rich man was very angry and asked the killer why he killed his dog.”
“Honey, guess what? The killer sneered and replied to the rich man: ‘Someone paid five million to let me take your dog’s life.’ Wife, do you think it’s funny or not? Hahaha…”
Whether Gu Wenning was laughing or not, Fu Yanhe himself was laughing so hard that he struggled to finish his sentences.
Fu Yanhe, who couldn’t help laughing, frowned and asked with a puzzled look on his face, “Honey, why don’t you laugh? Is the joke I told not funny? I think it’s quite funny.”
Gu Wenning thought of a sentence at an inappropriate time.
‘I don’t laugh because I don’t like to laugh by nature.’
He even wanted to say this sentence exactly, but when he thought that Fu Yanhe would probably chase him and ask why, and demand to know in detail why he didn’t like to laugh by nature, it made his head spin. When the words came to his lips, he swallowed them again after thinking about it.
Looking at Gu Wenning’s cold face, the little simp in Fu Yanhe’s heart felt dejected and a little lost.
What kind of man was the most attractive? Secretary Xu said a man with a sense of humour was very attractive. Wasn’t it enough for him to tell jokes to his wife? The problem was why his wife’s reaction was so bland and why he didn’t even smile.
It must be that his jokes were not funny enough. He had to learn from this and save some funnier jokes to try to make his wife laugh next time.
Fu Yanhe, who was good at summing up experiences and learning lessons from failures, quickly revived with renewed energy. After he stopped telling jokes, he looked at the time and saw that it was already eleven o’clock. It was late.
“Can I stay tonight? Wife?”
Before Gu Wenning could voice his rejection, Fu Yanhe quickly came up with a serious reason. “It’s raining heavily outside again. It’s a windy and rainy night. If you don’t take me in, my wife, I’ll have nowhere to go. I’d have to live on the street, on the overpass. I have to find a hole to sleep. If I got caught in such heavy rain, I would definitely get sick. Can you bear that, my good wife?”
Gu Wenning replied without raising his head, “What can’t I bear? Doesn’t Mr. Fu have a driver?”
He wasn’t the one who was going to get wet. Besides, the man had an umbrella and a car within a few steps’ walk, so he could avoid getting soaked anyway.
However, Gu Wenning immediately considered that driving in heavy rain was unsafe and could affect the driver. There were many accidents in bad weather, so he felt a little shaken for a moment.
It didn’t seem like it would be wrong to let someone stay for one night. After all, the man could sleep on the sofa, not together. Even if they did end up sleeping together, Gu Wenning trusted that Mr. Fu wouldn’t do anything as long as he didn’t want to.
Gu Wenning’s confidence stemmed from his understanding and trust in Fu Yanhe’s character. He didn’t know how well he really knew him, but he still had faith.
“I asked the driver to go home and spend time with his wife and children. In this weather, with the thunder and rain, he should be with them.”
Fu Yanhe continued talking nonsense without changing his expression, his face not reddening and his breath steady.
The driver had indeed been sent home by Fu Yanhe, who ended the day’s work early. However, it wasn’t to spend time with his wife and children at home. Xiao Li was still single and hadn’t even been in love. Where could he go to accompany a family? But finishing work early was a joyful thing for every worker. Once Xiao Li confirmed that his boss really wanted him to leave, he immediately departed, fearing that if he hesitated even a second longer, he’d be called back to work.
“Wife, please take me in. I promise that I will be honest and obedient and will never cause any trouble for you.”
Fu Yanhe spoke sincerely, but suddenly lost his tone.
“If my wife really doesn’t want to take me in, that’s fine. I can go out and spend the night on the stairs. At least it can protect me from the wind and rain.”
Gu Wenning pursed his lips, his eyes cold and his expression hard to describe.
It sounded like he was penniless and homeless, with no choice but to wander. In reality, that wasn’t the case at all. A man who could afford a luxurious suite in a five-star hotel was pretending to be pitiful in front of him. The misfortune seemed staged, as if, if he didn’t take him in, he would appear as a hard-hearted, ruthless villain.
“Then please help yourself, Mr. Fu.”
Gu Wenning still didn’t drive the person away. Maybe he felt a rare sense of compassion seeing Fu Yanhe pretending to be so pitiful.
Fu Yanhe’s face lit up. Although this tactic of pretending to be pitiful was a bit shameless, he had to admit it was effective. His wife was so kind-hearted, there was no way he would refuse him.
“I know that my wife is not only good-looking but also has a beautiful and kind heart. My wife is beautiful and kind-hearted. Did you feel sorry for me just now? I am a poor person in need of my wife’s love. Please take pity on me, it’s dark, and I’m so scared to be alone. My wife, please do your best, or at least leave a space for me on the bed—a place that doesn’t need to be big.”
Fu Yanhe started to get excited. Once he tasted a little sweetness, he couldn’t help but push for more. He wanted it all at once, hoping to climb into his wife’s bed and sleep beside him.