Pseudo-Eldritch God in Gensokyo

The Scarlet Devil Mansion loomed in the distance as Kiru and Rumia left its gates behind. The group had gotten back once they were done in D&D as Sakuya and Flandre were dropped off back at their house. 

"Thanks for the adventure!" Flandre called out, her voice sweet but laced with excitement. She leaned in suddenly, sinking her teeth into Kiru's neck with a giggle.

"Hey, Flandre! Again?!" Kiru winced as she drained a bit of his blood.

Sakuya intervened swiftly, prying Flandre off with practiced precision. "Young Mistress, you've had enough. Please show restraint."

"But it's so good!" Flandre pouted, licking her lips.

Kiru managed a strained laugh. "I'll visit again soon, alright? No more snacking for now."

As the mansion vanished from sight, Kiru sighed in relief, rubbing his neck. Rumia, content with munching on a piece of bacon he'd given her, didn't seem concerned about the drama.

Suddenly, a loud and confident voice echoed through the woods.

"Stop right there, human!"

Kiru turned to see a small girl with blue hair and icy wings fluttering in front of him. She struck a dramatic pose, puffing out her chest.

"I am Cirno, the strongest!" she declared. "I heard about you—this so-called strong human—but there's no way you're stronger than me! I'll prove it right here and now!"

Before Kiru could respond, a gust of wind swirled around them. A blur of black and white darted into view, accompanied by the flash of a camera.

"Perfect timing!" The new arrival, a tengu with sharp red eyes and black wings, landed nearby, her camera poised. "Hi there! Aya Shameimaru, Gensokyo's top reporter, at your service!" She snapped another picture, grinning. "The new outsider fighting a fairy? This has exclusive headline written all over it!"

Kiru groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Great. A reporter."

Cirno turned on Aya, waving her arms. "Hey! Buzz off! I'm proving I'm the strongest, not giving you a story!"

Aya smirked, unfazed. "Relax, fairy. I'm just here to document history in the making. Or… whatever this is."

Meanwhile, Rumia, entirely uninterested in the commotion, nibbled on her bacon, her eyes lazily observing the exchange.

Cirno floated closer to Kiru, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "Come on, human! Show me what you've got!" She conjured a shard of ice in her hand, spinning it dramatically.

Kiru sighed, stepping back slightly. "Look, I'm not really in the mood to fight you, little ice fairy. I just got back from something and wanted to take a nap at my house, Can't we—"

"Don't you 'little ice fairy' me!" Cirno interrupted, tossing the shard toward him. It flew wide and harmlessly embedded itself in a tree. "Oops… uh… that was a warning shot!"

Aya chuckled, snapping another picture. "Oh, this is going to be a great article."

"Ugh…" Kiru muttered, rubbing his temple. 

Rumia spoke up through a mouthful of bacon. "She's kinda loud. Are you gonna deal with her?"

Cirno stomped her foot midair. "Loud? I'm not loud! I'm declaring my greatness! Big difference!"

Aya hovered nearby, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "So, Kiru, care to comment? Is this fairy a real challenge for someone who just walked out of the Scarlet Devil Mansion alive?"

Kiru stared at the tengu. "Do you ever… not ask questions?"

Aya grinned slyly. "Not when there's a story to uncover. Now spill it—what were you doing with the maid and sister of Remilia Scarlet? Did they ask for your help, or are you freelancing?"

Cirno groaned loudly. "Stop ignoring me! Fight me, human!" She flung another shard of ice, this time grazing Kiru's shoulder.

Kiru sighed, shrugging off the icy sting. "Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you." He cracked his knuckles and prepared himself.

Aya floated higher, eagerly snapping photos. "This is going to be the scoop of the week! The so-called strongest fairy vs. the mysterious outsider! Who will emerge victorious?"

"Me, obviously!" Cirno shouted, conjuring more ice in both hands.

Cirno floated a few feet off the ground, conjuring a massive block of ice and hurling it toward Kiru with both hands. "Take this!" she yelled.

Kiru, unimpressed, caught the ice effortlessly with one hand, his eyebrow arching in mild amusement. The block gleamed in the sunlight before he set it down.

"...Is that it?" Kiru asked dryly, brushing stray frost from his hand.

Cirno's face flushed with indignation. "No! That was just the warm-up!"

She flung her hands forward, sending a flurry of sharp icicles zipping toward him. Kiru sidestepped gracefully, each icicle shattering harmlessly against the ground or nearby trees.

"Well," he said, dodging another volley, "this is... better, I guess."

Cirno's eyes burned with determination as she continued her icy assault. Meanwhile, Kiru caught one of the icicles mid-air, a spark of inspiration flickering across his face. He twirled the frozen shard in his fingers and smirked.

"Time out!" he called, raising a hand.

Cirno blinked, lowering her arms slightly. "What? You can't call time out in a fight!"

"I'm calling it anyway," Kiru said, his smirk widening. "I've got a way better idea to prove who's the strongest."

Cirno tilted her head, intrigued but suspicious. "A better idea? What could be better than me showing off my powers?"

Aya, perched nearby with her camera at the ready, chimed in. "Oh, this should be good."

Kiru grinned mischievously. "A game. Ever heard of Russian Roulette? Don't worry—this is a safer, more fun version."

Cirno frowned. "Russian... what now? What's that?"

Aya's eyes narrowed as she lowered her camera. "Wait. Russian Roulette? Are you seriously about to—"

"Relax!" Kiru interrupted, pulling a small paintball gun out that he plucked from somewhere random with Kaleidoscope. "It's not lethal. It's just a modded paintball gun. We'll spin it, and whoever it points at has to take a shot—or pass and get a penalty. Winner is whoever stays clean the longest."

Cirno's eyes lit up with excitement. "Oh, that sounds awesome! I'll win for sure!"

Aya raised an eyebrow. "And I assume we're all playing?"

Kiru pointed at her and Rumia. "Exactly. You're both in too."

Rumia, still munching on her bacon, froze mid-bite. "Wait, what? I didn't agree to this!"

Aya sighed, adjusting her camera strap. "Alright, fine. But only because I can already imagine the headline: Outsider plays game of risk with fairy and beautiful reporter."

Kiru knelt, spinning the paintball gun on the ground. It whirled rapidly before slowing and pointing directly at Cirno.

"Hah! Of course it picked me first!" Cirno boasted, puffing out her chest. "What do I do?"

"Simple," Kiru said, tossing her the gun. "You either take a shot at yourself or pass and take a penalty."

Cirno examined the paintball gun curiously, then shrugged. "Easy. I'll shoot myself!" She pressed the muzzle to her chest and pulled the trigger.

Click.

The gun didn't fire.

Cirno cheered. "See? I'm too strong for it to work!"

Aya chuckled. "That's not how it works, but sure, let's go with that."

The gun spun again, this time pointing at Rumia.

"Ugh, fine," Rumia muttered, reluctantly taking the gun. She glanced at Kiru. "What's the penalty if I don't shoot?"

"You'll have to give up your next snack," Kiru said, smirking.

Rumia's eyes widened. "No way! I'm not losing food!" She pressed the gun to her nose and pulled the trigger.

Click.

She let out a sigh of relief, cradling the gun like a trophy. "Still got my bacon."

Aya laughed as the gun spun again, this time pointing at her. She picked it up with a wry smile.

"Well, this should make for an interesting moment," she said, pressing it to herself. Click. She smirked. "Looks like luck's on my side."

They continued, with the group trading increasingly dramatic reactions as they tested their luck. Eventually, the gun pointed back at Cirno, who confidently spun it and aimed again.

Pop!

A bright blue paintball splattered across her face, dripping down her dress.

Cirno froze, staring at the paint in disbelief. "What?! Impossible! I'm the strongest!"

Kiru burst into laughter. 

Cirno pouted, crossing her arms. "This game is rigged."

Rumia, licking the last of her bacon grease from her fingers, grinned. "Guess I'm stronger than the 'strongest.'"

Kiru stood, brushing off his hands. "Alright, I think we've settled that. Shall we call it a draw and move on?"

Cirno huffed, puffing out her chest with a determined glare. "No! Fight me for real now!"

Kiru rubbed the back of his neck, letting out an exaggerated sigh. "Alright, alright, fine. I'll give you a proper little fight."

Cirno's eyes sparkled with excitement. "Yes! Now I'll prove I'm the strongest for sure!"

Aya, hovering nearby, snapped another photo with a grin. "This is going to be great. Don't hold back now, you two. I want action shots!"

As Cirno unleashed a barrage of icicles, Kiru calmly activated Pyro's X-Gene, igniting flames in his palms. The icicles met fiery bursts in midair, shattering into harmless mist.

Cirno, more focused now, conjured a concentrated beam of icy magic aimed directly at Kiru. In response, Kiru thrust his hands forward, releasing a stream of intense fire. The two beams collided, resulting in a fierce beam struggle. The air between them sizzled and hissed as the opposing elements fought for dominance.

Kiru smirked, his eyes glowing with the reflection of their clashing powers. "I've got to admit, you're pretty strong when you put your mind to it."

"I told you so!" Cirno shouted, pouring more energy into her icy attack.

The beam clash reached its peak, erupting in an explosion of steam. As the mist cleared, Kiru propelled himself into the air using jets of fire from his hands. Cirno darted after him with a competitive grin.

Aya clapped her hands in delight, snapping photo after photo. "This is going to make a fantastic spread! Keep it up!"

Rumia, munching on some sausages now, lazily floated along behind them. "I'm just here for the show."

Cirno's icy barrage continued as Kiru allowed a few shards to pierce his back. However, with a controlled burst of fire, he melted the ice away and activated Shaper to heal the wounds instantly.

"Hey, Number 9," Kiru called out, earning an indignant glare from Cirno. "Let's try something different. I want you to hit me as hard as you can."

Cirno tilted her head, confused. "But that's what I'm—"

Kiru raised a hand to stop her. "Now hold on, I think you misheard. I mean your absolute strongest attack. Hit me with everything you've got. No holding back."

Cirno's face lit up with determination. "Fine! You'll regret this, though!"

The temperature around them dropped sharply as Cirno began gathering her power. Frost began spreading across the air, and her voice echoed with excitement. "Ice Sign: Ultimate Blizzard!"

Kiru smirked, the flames around his body intensifying. "Let's even the odds a bit." He equipped Dabi's Cremation Quirk, causing his flames to burn a searing blue. "Let's call this move... Ultimate Heatwave!"

The sky erupted with Cirno's massive blizzard, snow and ice swirling furiously in a relentless storm. Kiru retaliated with a fiery explosion, blue flames radiating out from his entire body. The clash of extreme cold and scorching heat created a sky filled with steam, the two forces locked in a fierce struggle for dominance.

Both Kiru and Cirno shouted as they pushed their attacks harder. The clash culminated in a massive explosion, sending both combatants hurtling down to the ground.

Kiru groaned as he pushed himself up, looking around. "A sunflower field?" Half of the field was covered in frost, while the other half smoldered with embers.

Cirno stumbled to her feet, her excitement replaced with panic. "W-Wait! We can't be here!!"

Aya landed beside them, camera still in hand. "I got some amazing shots! But... why does this place feel familiar?"

Before Kiru could ask what Cirno meant, an oppressive aura of bloodlust washed over him. He turned to see a tall woman with vibrant green hair and a strained smile standing nearby, holding a parasol. Her crimson eyes bore into them with unsettling intensity.

"And you are?" Kiru asked hesitantly, trying to place her from his fragmented memory of the Touhou characters.

The woman's smile widened, though it didn't reach her eyes. "I go by Yuuka Kazami. And these..." She gestured to the scorched and frozen sunflowers. "...were my flowers."

Cirno gulped audibly. "S-Sorry, Miss Yuuka! I-I didn't mean to—"

Aya and Rumia, sensing danger, tried to slip away quietly. Yuuka's hand shot out, grabbing both by their collars and dragging them back.

"Ah-ah-ah," Yuuka chided, her tone deceptively sweet. "You two are accomplices. Don't think you're off the hook."

Kiru stepped forward, trying to defuse the situation. "Look, I'm sure we can—"

Yuuka's eyes snapped to him, her smile sharpening into something predatory. "You will get your punishment first."

The air around the group grew tense as Yuuka's smile widened, exuding a playful yet terrifying aura. Her parasol twirled lightly in her hand, but her crimson eyes gleamed with something sharper than amusement.

"You're taking responsibility for this, yes?" Yuuka asked, tilting her head innocently, though her tone carried a weight that made even Cirno shiver.

Kiru sighed, stepping forward. "Yeah, it's my fault. I'll take the blame. But do you have to—"

He didn't get to finish. Yuuka vanished from sight, appearing in front of him in an instant, her parasol slamming into his stomach like a battering ram.

Kiru staggered back, coughing, but kept his footing. "Okay, guess we're doing this."

Yuuka chuckled, her voice light and teasing. "Oh, I'm just getting started, dear. Surely someone strong like you won't mind being my little punching bag for a bit?"

True to her word, Yuuka didn't hold back. Each strike—whether from her fists, parasol, or a precisely aimed kick—landed with bone-crushing force. Kiru didn't fight back, allowing her to vent her anger while he took blow after blow.

Cirno winced, muttering, "Ouch… that's gotta hurt."

Aya snapped a picture. "He's really letting her wail on him. Is he some kind of masochist?"

Rumia, unfazed, munching on some candy she pulled from her pocket that Kiru had given her earlier.

After several punishing minutes, Yuuka paused, her head tilted. "Still standing? You're more durable than most. But if you're just going to stand there like a doll, this is hardly fun for me."

Kiru, bruised and bloodied, grinned through the pain. "Just letting you vent a bit. But if you're bored…" His body shifted as Shaper healed his injuries in an instant. "…I guess it's my turn."

Without warning, Kiru dashed forward, exchanging rapid blows with Yuuka. She countered each punch with one of her own, their movements a blur as they tore through the sunflower field in their skirmish. Yuuka's strikes were precise, her every movement carrying a playful elegance, while Kiru's attacks were calculated but fierce.

The fight reached a crescendo when they both landed gut punches simultaneously, the force of the impact sending shockwaves through the ground. Both staggered for a moment before Kiru took the opportunity to tackle Yuuka, pinning her arms to the ground as he straddled her stomach.

"Alright, enough!" Kiru said, panting slightly. "I can fix this, but you've gotta let me. Deal?"

Yuuka narrowed her eyes as she relaxed beneath him. "You're bold, I'll give you that. Fine, show me what you can do. But if you fail…" She left the threat hanging in the air.

Kiru released her and stood up, extending a hand to help her to her feet. She ignored it, rising gracefully on her own.

He activated Shaper again. Closing his eyes, he focused on the damaged sunflowers. Slowly but surely, the damaged parts fell off and they regrew undamaged new parts, and the flowers stood tall once more, their vibrant yellows returning.

When the last sunflower was restored, Kiru exhaled deeply. "There. Good as new."

Yuuka stepped closer, inspecting the flowers with a critical eye before nodding. "You've earned a reprieve. For now."

Cirno piped up, "Does this mean I'm still the strongest?"

Yuuka shot her a withering glare, and the fairy immediately hid behind Rumia.

Aya, still snapping pictures, smirked. "This'll make an amazing story. 'Outsider Faces Down Yuuka Kazami and Lives to Tell the Tale!'"

Yuuka's gaze shifted to Aya, making the tengu gulp and hold her camera a little tighter. "Just remember," Yuuka said sweetly, "be carful what you print little crow."

Kiru chuckled nervously, stepping between them. "Alright, let's not push our luck. We're leaving. Thanks for... not killing us, I guess?"

Yuuka simply waved her parasol dismissively, her grin still in place. "Do come back sometime. Preferably when you've grown even stronger."

Kiru glanced over his shoulder at Yuuka, who was already tending to her flowers. He let out a relieved sigh.

"That could've gone worse," he muttered.

Cirno huffed. "I could've taken her if I wanted to!"

As Kiru and the group began walking away, Yuuka's voice rang out, stopping them in their tracks.

"Hold on a moment," she called, her parasol twirling idly. "I'm not quite done with you yet, human."

Kiru turned around, his shoulders sagging slightly. "What now? I fixed your flowers, didn't I?"

Yuuka approached with a sly smile. "Yes, you did. Quite beautifully, I might add. But I'd like to see that power of yours again. That ability... it intrigues me."

Kiru raised an eyebrow. "What do you want me to do?"

Yuuka gestured to his hand. "Show me something small. Something... creative. Impress me."

Kiru sighed but nodded. He focused on his palm, using Shaper to manipulate the bacteria on his skin. The others watched as the tiny organisms rapidly multiplied, transformed, and merged into a seed. Holding it gently, the seed sprouted. Within seconds, a vibrant red rose grew before their eyes, its petals flawless and rich in color.

Yuuka leaned down, examining the rose with curiosity, her fingers lightly brushing its petals. "Fascinating," she murmured. "Your power... it grants you a connection to nature, almost like mine. Yet, yours feels... greater. More fundamental."

Kiru scratched the back of his head, unsure how to respond. "Uh... thanks?"

Yuuka stood, holding the rose delicately between her fingers. She turned to him with an amused smirk. "A rose, hmm? Were you trying to flirt with me, human?"

Kiru's eyes widened. "W-What?! No, I just thought it'd be—"

Before he could finish, Yuuka stepped closer and kissed him lightly on the cheek. The gesture left everyone stunned. Aya's mouth fell open, her camera hanging limply in her hands. Cirno stared, wide-eyed, while Rumia just tilted her head in mild confusion.

Kiru froze, his brain scrambling to process what just happened. "W-Why did you—?"

Yuuka giggled, a melodic and surprisingly warm sound. "Oh, don't get so flustered. Consider it a reward for entertaining me and fixing you mess." She twirled the rose in her fingers before tucking it into her parasol.

After a brief pause, Yuuka looked at Kiru, her expression softening just slightly. "Tell me, human... would you ever consider someone like me a friend?"

Kiru blinked, her question catching him off guard. "A friend? I mean... sure, I guess. You're a little scary, but I wouldn't mind being friends with you."

Yuuka's smile widened, though it carried a hint of something inscrutable. "How honest of you. Well then, I'll be in touch."

With that, she turned and began walking back into the sunflower field, humming a tune to herself.

As the group resumed leaving, Cirno immediately blurted out, "How the hell did you charm Yuuka Kazami like that?! Are you a god or something?"

Aya groaned, slapping her forehead. "I can't believe I missed getting a picture of that kiss! That would've been perfect for the front page."

Kiru shook his head, still flustered. "I didn't charm her, okay? She's just... weird. Let's drop it."

Rumia, munching on a snack, casually chimed in, "I think she likes you~."

As they walked, Aya began scribbling in her notebook, muttering something about a bizarre scoop she's covered, while Cirno kept shooting Kiru suspicious looks.

"Seriously," Cirno finally said. "How did you do it?"

"I didn't do anything," Kiru insisted, rubbing his temples.

As the group continued their journey, Rumia floated alongside Kiru, nibbling on another snack. "Hey, Kiru," she said between bites, "so... who won? You or Cirno?"

Kiru glanced at her, then sighed. "Neither of us, honestly. We didn't properly finish the fight. It's more like... a draw."

Cirno, who had been flying a bit ahead, whipped around with a pout. "A draw?! That's so lame! I'm supposed to be the strongest!"

Kiru smirked, an idea sparking in his mind. He stopped walking and struck a dramatic pose, crossing his arms and tilting his head back as if gazing into the distance. His voice took on a booming, heroic tone.

"Cirno! This unfinished battle is not a failure... it's destiny!"

Cirno blinked, confused. "Huh? Destiny?"

Kiru continued, gesturing grandly. "Yes! A draw means only one thing... we are now rivals! Bound to clash time and time again, pushing each other to new heights of strength!" He pointed directly at her, his voice filled with exaggerated conviction. "You will strive to surpass me, and I will strive to stay ahead! Together, we will become even stronger!"

Cirno's eyes lit up with excitement, and she clenched her fists. "Rivals?! I love it! Yeah, that's right, we're rivals now!" She struck a dramatic pose of her own, mimicking his tone. "You better not slack off, Kiru! I'll train every day to make sure I'm the strongest!"

Kiru grinned, nodding. "I wouldn't expect anything less, Number 9."

Cirno gave a determined salute before taking off into the sky, her voice echoing as she flew. "Rivals forever! You'd better not forget it!"

As she disappeared into the distance, Aya raised an eyebrow, leaning against her camera. "Rivals, huh? Are you actually serious about that, or was that just a show for her?"

Kiru shrugged. "A little of both. Cirno isn't exactly a threat to me, but she's stronger than I expected. It could be fun to spar with her now and then. Besides, I didn't want to dampen her enthusiasm. She she could use this."

Aya chuckled, adjusting her camera strap. "Fair enough. You've got a flair for theatrics, I'll give you that. Well, let me grab one more picture before I head out."

She quickly snapped a shot of Kiru, catching him mid-eye-roll. "Perfect," Aya said with a sly grin before taking off into the sky. "See you around, Kiru! And try not to start any more flower field fire's!"

As Aya disappeared over the horizon, Rumia floated closer to Kiru as she heard him chuckling, tilting her head. "Why are you laughing?"

Kiru held up a small tube, twirling it between his fingers. "Oh, nothing. Just a little payback."

Rumia squinted at it. "What's that?"

"Her lipstick," Kiru said, grinning mischievously. "She's a nosy reporter, so I figured a little petty revenge wouldn't hurt."

Rumia stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. 

"Hey, she'll live," Kiru said, slipping the tube into his pocket. "Now, let's get moving. Knowing her, she'll figure it out in like a minute and come flying back." He says as he activates Kaleidoscope. 

[TIMESKIP]

The two emerged moments later inside Kiru's modest shack. It was cozy and dimly lit, with the faint scent of wood smoke lingering in the air. Kiru stretched his arms, glad to be back in familiar surroundings. However, before he could relax, two soft hands slid over his eyes, blocking his vision.

"Guess who?" came a teasing, silky voice.

Kiru froze, instantly recognizing the mischievous lilt. "Yukari..."

The hands slid away, and Yukari Yakumo leaned out of a gap with red eyes inside it, her golden eyes twinkling with amusement. "Bingo. My, my, Kiru, you've been a very naughty boy today."

He turned to face her, sighing. "What are you on about now?"

Yukari tapped her fan against her lips, mock-scolding. "Charming Yuuka Kazami, of all people, taking Aya Shameimaru's lipstick, and spending quality time with the Scarlet Devil Mansion's maid. Should I even ask what you were up to with Sakuya while away on that trip?"

Kiru mumbled. "Nothing happened with Sakuya."

Yukari's grin widened as she floated closer, her tone dripping with playful seduction. "Oh? Are you sure about that? You could tell me, you know. I promise I wouldn't spread it around." She winked, clearly enjoying his discomfort.

"What do you want, Yukari?" Kiru asked flatly, crossing his arms.

Yukari twirled her parasol lazily. "I was hoping you'd take me to visit another world sometime. You've begun gallivanting around, seeing all sorts of exciting places. It's only fair you let me join in."

Kiru raised an eyebrow. "I thought your powers let you go anywhere you wanted."

"Ah, not quite," Yukari admitted, closing her fan with a snap. "I can traverse the multiverse of my reality, yes, but what you have with Kaleidoscope? That lets you travel to completely separate multiverses—worlds that even I can't reach. Fascinating, isn't it?"

Kiru looked skeptical. "And what's in it for me if I take you?"

Yukari leaned closer, her voice dropping to a sultry whisper. "Oh, I'm sure we could come to an arrangement. I'm quite resourceful, you know." She brushed a strand of her golden hair aside, her gaze locking onto his. "I could make it worth your while."

Kiru sighed, using Shaper to suppress a blush on his cheeks. "Fine. But I have a condition."

"Oh?" Yukari tilted her head, intrigued.

"For every world I take you to, you owe me one favor within reason. No exceptions," he said, holding up a single finger for emphasis.

Yukari's lips curled into a sly smile. "A deal's a deal, then. You drive a hard bargain, Kiru." She extended a delicate hand, and they shook on it.

Rumia, who had been quietly watching the exchange, furrowed her brows and whispered to herself, "Why do all these girls keep getting closer to Kiru? It's so weird..."

Yukari, as if she'd overheard, cast a knowing glance toward Rumia before slipping back into her gap. "Until next time, Kiru. Don't keep me waiting too long!" Her voice lingered even as the portal disappeared.

Once she was gone, Kiru sat down on his bed and pulled out some beef jerky. "That woman's going to be... fun."

Rumia floated closer, nudging his arm. "So, are we going to another world soon?"

"Probably," Kiru admitted, leaning back. "But not tonight. Tonight, I'm getting some rest. You should, too."

(TO BE CONTINUED)