Re: Goblin Slayer

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***

As Yukione timidly stepped out from behind me, as if she were a daughter in front of her father's friends, she stumbled over a root protruding from the ground, causing quite a stir in my group.

Literally every girl except two rushed forward in an attempt to save Yukiona from an imminent fall, but I was too late - I managed to pick her up just in time.

- Careful, don't get too excited,' I patted her on the shoulder.

- P-pretty!

- Sweet... girl...

- Mmh!

- Oh, Mother Earth, bless this child....

Needless to say, the girls, wanting to satisfy their baser needs for intimacy with the cutie, began to foursquare squeeze the little snowflake that helplessly accepted the terms of her role. Whether it was her innate talent for attracting girls with a weakness for all things cute, or the role of circumstance, I spent the next few hours listening to the chatter of my companions, where, to my surprise, Atlanta's unnerving gaze no longer strained the back of my head.

Not that she stopped looking at me suspiciously, but there wasn't that negativity in her gaze anymore. It was just cunning and a cheerful light that worked as well as any other gaze, forcing my intuition to tighten, howling for trouble.

I didn't realise it right away, though: the questions Yuki was asking made my brain boil. I heard everything from innocent questions to extremely embarrassing ones, where every girl wanted to be sure of my purity, and when they learnt that I hired her as a 'servant'....

No, seriously. Who knew the first thing on their minds would be vulgarity? I don't know how servants are treated here, but I was clearly classified as the wrong kind of gentleman. Those crossed, suspicious, questioning looks... If I wasn't a descendant of a noble hero, and if my sister wasn't standing next to me, and if Yukiona herself hadn't stood up for me, I would have been bombarded with questions, demanding an explanation for my behaviour.

And after listening to Astoria's speech about who the personal servants of the incomplete form were (without intimate details, but I could tell from the girl's look), I nodded my head and said that I needed an assistant first of all - just to get away from her.

Satisfied with the job done, the blonde nodded, and went back to her friends.

- Hm-hm, Asti, I forgot to mention that we grow up differently,' Atlanta mentioned casually, ruffling the snowflake's hair.

- What do you mean? What do you mean? - Astoria looked from her bashful friends to Atlanta with a puzzled look.

- Well, you know, you shouldn't judge us by our looks. We grow quite slowly, when emotionally and spiritually we're already more than we might think... - Atlanta nodded with a luscious smile.

- Huh? So... I... what? Yuki... oops... - repeating the fate of her partners, Astoria turned away abruptly. Shame burned in her emotions... She had never felt so stupid before....

For no good reason, she was reprimanding her benefactor and future, ahem... Who knew it would turn out like this.

***

It took us longer than usual to get to the border town - a couple of stops along the way, meeting other adventurers or commoners, but for the most part we made it safely.

The news the travellers were kind enough to share with us did not bode well, though. We were told about unusual activity of demonic beasts somewhere in the forests of 'Eru' near the city....

Funny, but only now I recognised the name of the forest where I had recently cleared a fortress of goblins. And, the fortress was not burnt down, as I thought, according to the travellers' words it was only slightly burnt.

The words of that man are still in my head: 'Foolish adventurers! They could have angered the master of the forest with their attempt to burn down the elven fortress! What? Why nonsense? Well... it's a long story, but I'll tell you what, the forest is alive! Well, good luck, and I'm off.'

A living forest... funny enough, I didn't feel anything when I was there, but the speed at which rumours about the incident spread was astounding. Literally I was there a day ago, and already word is spreading that another fool wanted to burn down a living forest!

The girls warming their ears didn't know about the living forest either. Outwardly they hadn't changed, but everyone but Atlanta was burning inside with shame.....

Anyway, we reached the city by evening. We passed the busy streets, shops and crowds of passers-by, and reached the guildhouse, with a bunch of adventurers scurrying back and forth.

At the sound of the bell above my head, I was greeted by the same scene as before, but this time I was pleasantly surprised to find an elven half-naked leather-clad ass leaning towards me. I could just so see the outline of her labia and adorable back hole. It seemed as if I could just pull at the edges of her form, adjust myself, and get to work.

The blonde snorted next to me, crossing her arms over her chest.

I was so fascinated by the girl's obscenity, judging by the sword on her hip - a swordswoman - that I didn't notice how Astoria and her partners got lost in the crowd, dragging Yukiona with them, and the elf finally stood up with papers in her hands, turned around, gave me a fleeting glance, snorted, and left the guild.

- Ahem, yes, how unfriendly...' I followed her with a glance, meeting my eyes with my indifferent little sister. On the contrary, Alice was glowing with anticipation, eager to throw off her hood.

Who could blame her for wearing such revealing armour with exposed skin, bending over in front of the door, provoking me? Now the girls are also gone, and Yukiona along with them....

I spat, forgetting the incident, and moved towards the receptionist's desk, where the silhouettes of my acquaintances could be seen. With an edge I noticed the whispering bronze adventurers.

-...in the forest of Eru! Damn newcomers! What a way to piss off a spirit! Now all the wildlife in the area has fled and the hunt is a pittance!

- Better have a drink, mate. Besides, if you're so desperate for money, you can try to track down a demonic beast... Well, or several...

- Are you kidding me? I'm gonna die in there!

Walking past, I reached the receptionist's desk, this time greeted by a cute brunette.

- So, the assignment is to clear the fortress of goblins. According to rumours and the customer's words, the quest is considered complete. Thank you for your work, now please fill out a progress report! - With a sweet smile, she handed me a sheet....

The mere sight of it made my mood plummet. I've never been a fan of reporting to someone. Do I have to describe how I insidiously waited and wanted to take advantage of the girls' moment of weakness?

- Can we do without that? - I looked at her hopefully.

- I'm sorry, but we don't make exceptions for newcomers, but when you gain reputation and gain the trust of the guild, you don't have to write it. Now, please don't hold up the queue: fill out a piece of paper in the format of your actions, briefly and clearly. You... can write, right?

Still, there's no avoiding it... It's kind of fantasy, but this kind of thing was really stressful. I wanted to say no, but I'd rather do it myself.

- Sure... - I nodded and looked around: the hall was huge, and there were plenty of places to sit down too. But it was too crowded and noisy. How am I supposed to write in such a noisy place?

- Oh, sorry, you can go up to the first floor. There are writing utensils there. - The receptionist's voice came from behind me.

Without looking, I went up to the first floor and looked at the first floor from a height, hoping to find my partners, but no one.

- Tsk,' I clucked my tongue in frustration. I hope I didn't get screwed.

- Mister, if you want, I can fill out the paperwork for you,' Alice offered unpretentiously, both mentally and emotionally eager to satisfy her idol.

And I fully agreed with her proposal.

- I'll be glad, and I'll look around.

Having courageously handed her my work, I looked around: the first floor looked more presentable than the first floor not only by interior, but also by feeling. It was like being in an inn: you had a sofa and a big window, and people and non-humans, who looked bizarre because of their armour. In general, even the noise from the first was not heard so loudly, and people around spoke only on business and quietly. On a wall not far away was the same cork board with quests on it, where I spotted the quests for a dragon...

Dragon? What?

▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬

A fire dragon has appeared in the vicinity of the city of Lauros. The residents are frightened by its appearance, and the volcano raging because of it.

Presumed Danger Rank: C/B

For a cohesive group of emerald-ranked adventurers.

Reward: 50 gold

▬▬▬

A dragon... the mere mention of it was awe-inspiring! To see it with one's own eyes and, what's more, to be captivated by it!

- Big money... compared to the task at the fortress, I'll get barely 1/10th of that... 2 gold... m-m-m-m....

But that's not what made me amazed. The fact that there is a dragon surprised me a lot, and besides, I need a dragon-familiar! How's my rock? - At the thought of the round stone in his pants, Mika, as if she had been waiting for it, said:

'Mhhh, Sempai, I'm still a few hours away from charging the familiar core, but I'm afraid if you want to recreate it from scratch, the dragon will be very weak and won't reach a fraction of the power of this one! I guess I'm not entirely sure! However, I wouldn't advise jumping on an adult dragon right now!'

'I wish I could catch it, but... I'm not confident in my ability to overpower a dragon, let alone catch and captivate it. So let's not think about it, but thanks for the information, Mika.'

'Of course! And you know, it's lonely for me, sometimes, to sit and watch you! Wouldn't you at least drop in once in a while?' - With contrived resentment, she pouted her lips.

Eh... if only I could sit and do nothing. Just watch the screen... Anyway, I promised her I'd check in as soon as I could.

After looking through a couple more sheets, I didn't notice any other dragon quests, but here were the rumours about demonic beasts that caught my attention.

▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬

There's an outbreak of demonic beasts in the Eru forest! The guild pays 2 gold coins for a whole, undamaged carcass of a demonic beast! As well as 5 gold coins for a huge black-fanged boar that spreads spoils to other beasts!

For the heart of a demonic beast, 30 silver.

For fangs/teeth 10

Suggested danger rank: E for demonic beast/D for black-fanged boar.

Recommended group of five people of sapphire or steel rank!

▬▬▬▬

Yep, a noticeable difference between a dragon and a demonic beast. And a huge difference, again, between goblins. Which give a paltry experience gain and is accompanied by a morass of green. In other words: little profit, and a lot of trouble, but blackfang will be a juicy bag of XP, as well as money, which I do not have much left.

Hmm... that's where my scout Yuko will help me... and the ring... but that's for later, if I come across it.

I'd better find more Yuki and the others first, settle things with them, and then go find Aquina and Vivi. My black heart tells me they've done a lot of damage. With Vivi I'm sure - a black mage of unknown alignment will take revenge... probably. Otherwise... otherwise... otherwise their problems become my problems and I'll have to get into trouble. My things, ahem, girls, I will not let them get hurt! Only I have the right to punish them...!

'Eeyore! Eeyore! The souls of mortals we shall consume! Eeyore! Strength is never too much, little brother respects strength! Yey! Sempai! Let's go! You can't have too many mortal souls! So don't hold back!' - Mika's cheerleader uniform and bare tummy beckoned... waving her pom-poms in different directions.

The scene was certainly impressive and erotic, in a way - her breasts bouncing after her mistress was eye-catching, but the way she was performing was comical and cute. Which made me feel awkward... so much so that I put my palm to my face.

I'd have to talk to her later...

...

In the meantime, Alice, having been given a responsible assignment, did her best to report to her master! She used all her imagination and filled in the third sheet, describing in detail the superiority and beauty of her idol! So engrossed was she in this endeavour that there was even a mention of a black dragon in the text....

The receptionist, soon after receiving the newcomer's report, read the text with disbelief and big eyes. She did not realise whether she was reading the biography of a hero or the ravings of a madman! If the beginning looked decent, now a black dragon appeared from somewhere.

- It's... it's... - the receptionist didn't know what to think.

She was so absorbed in this report that she didn't notice the arrival of one proud kopjack, who was ranting and recounting his battle for a minute.

- And then I grabbed him with my bare hands and started choking him by the neck! The troll was strong and fought back as best he could, while his minions sneakily stabbed me in the back! Uh, Katya-chan?! Katya-chan, hello? Damn it, she's ignoring me?! Where's my Alice! Where! She's the only one who can understand me and smile sweetly...' the grief-stricken spearman grabbed his hair with great grief, to which he received a friendly pat on the shoulder.

- Well, well... don't be discouraged, it's all good, isn't it?

- Totally! I have to find Alice! She'll definitely listen to me and smile! Let's go! Let's find her! - and without listening to anyone, ran out into the street.

- Well, as usual, Katya, we have completed the task, I'm going to my place... - smoked a pipe spectacular sorceress in a sharp-angled hat, but without noticing the reaction of the registrar, serenely went away.

No one knows the exact consequences of this act, but perhaps another legend about the legendary jester will soon be born! One way or another, this report will get to his superiors, and they in turn will come up with a nickname for him.