Reborn as the Spider who bit Peter Parker

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Wandering around the city in search of the right place in the company of the navigator and a tailwind, I found the place the girl had written about. A shabby building from the time of the Great Depression without a hint of repair looked very colourful and pathetic at the same time.

However, a homeless man in the company of a stray cat added some colour to this greyness and without any shame marked the walls of the building like some kind of dogs. Having finished with updating the marks, this company left with a very proud and moderately noble look.

With a sneer, I studied the sign for the theatre with a thoughtful gaze. Texting the redhead that I was already there, I continued to contemplate the extremely poor neighbourhood. Even here, however, there were armed vigilantes with a familiar armband that I hadn't noticed at first. A winged ouroboros was greedily braiding some sort of tree in an attempt to bite its tail, thus creating a perfectly twisted circle. After casting a suspicious glance in my direction, the vigilante immediately contacted someone through a miniature earpiece and said something laconic, and a moment later simply walked away, apparently having taken note of me.

Tired of waiting, I finally parked my bike and walked confidently into a building that promised to collapse in the next couple of months, judging by the state of the walls and the huge cracks that were slowly taking over the theatre.

After wandering the dilapidated corridors, I came to the stage, where a rehearsal of scenes from Macbeth was in full swing. Carrot-top immediately noticed me and smiled sweetly, but, catching the director's frown, immediately continued to perform her role of Hecate. By the way, the translucent silk clothes suited her well. Half an hour later, our 'goddess' was free, and we could talk.

- I didn't expect you so early, Parker. - said the girl after a hug. - What's with the stylish jacket? Are you some kind of bad boy or biker? - she smiled. - Surprisingly, it suits you. - the redhead winked at me. - All in all, I'm free, and all that's left is to change. Will you wait for me for about fifteen minutes? - She asked innocently, to which I nodded.

After looking at her luscious ass, I got a hostile glance from the slightly grey-haired director, who was approaching me with a certain confidence in his gait.

- Listen, boy, this doll is mine, so get out of here, or do you think I've been working on it for a week for nothing? - said the stooped man in a hostile tone. - I know people who can put you in a coma, so just disappear... - my hand, shaking his throat, didn't let him finish. Lifting the puny 'seducer' by his throat, I smiled predatorily.

- Er, no... You've got it all wrong, uncle. - I continued to speak ingratiatingly, pressing him into the flimsy wall. - You will not threaten me or my friends. - Quickly finding a back room, I dragged the shaken director there.

We have time, so we can do some educational work. Having stuck a not too clean floor cloth into the 'maestro's' mouth and securely fixed the patient, I began to methodically break the bones in his left arm, because there is always a chance to get a blow from someone stronger, or a scumbag who doesn't care about your 'boys'. In our case, the stars aligned on the adjacent option.

Breaking the wheezing 'master' every second on a finger, I simultaneously tracked the remaining time on my chronometer of a Swiss company. Then I started to work with the left hand, where the phalanges and metacarpal bones were already breaking. Next in line was the wrist and the navicular bone. Working like a textbook, I methodically broke the bones.

On the half-moon bone our director had the pleasure to go under himself and wet himself from the pain, good thing that chewed and extremely wet from tears and drool rags did not let his cries spread beyond our 'cosy' room. Having a heartfelt dialogue with him about madness, I practically got into a new for me role of a psychopath. Well, the 'patient' was no longer screaming, but only quietly whimpering and begging for something, judging by his pathetic face, but it was not long, and the next portion of pain made him howl and vigorously stick his legs.

Next came a three-pronged bone, but the man passed out. Having brought the mate to his senses with pliers and breaking nail phalanges, I gave him a friendly smile, but for some reason he was only more frightened. I grinned and continued, glancing at the time remaining.

- As you can see, sometimes you have to keep your filthy mouth shut, you know why? - methodically crunching another phalanx, I got an energetically sympathetic nod from my unwilling 'interlocutor'. - Threatening others, you must realise that one day someone will threaten you, your family and loved ones in the same way. But you didn't expect an answer, and the answer is an important part of the dialogue, don't you think? - I looked at the man like the revered Kaa at his banderologists and got another 'understanding' nod. - That's why I teach you such an elementary thing as 'politeness', it's not difficult, is it? - Again a mad jerk of the head, which clearly served as a sincere understanding of such trivialities by agreement. - Well, since we understand each other, I'll calmly finish the remaining bones of my left arm, and you'll be free. - The predatory smile on my face made the 'seducer' freeze fearfully. With another snicker, I squeamishly pulled out his wallet, which contained a photo of a happy family, a driver's licence, insurance and all other documents. - Well, if you don't want to part ways, I know where you live, Marvin Geitz. I'll find out, and trust my gut, you'll like our next meeting a lot less than this one. - sobbing, the grey-haired man finally realised what an ass he'd gotten himself into, but it didn't help him, and a moment later I was back to what I'd started.

Methodically breaking the pea-shaped, large polygonal and small bones, I returned to the 'patient' and glanced at the Swiss chronometer. The elderly Casanova was already repenting, but it was not enough, because the procedure with politeness inoculation should be completed to the end, so that it would not be punished. Next came the cephalic and hooked bones, and finally the radius and ulna, to complete the whole process.

- Marv, why don't you go to the clinic? - I said, almost brotherly, to the quiet one. - Your arm doesn't look so good. You don't want it to fuse wrong, do you? You don't want it to be broken again, do you? - Shaking his head nervously with fear, he tried only to squeeze himself even harder into the wall, clutching his 'gag' tighter. - Good boy. You sit here and digest everything you've heard in the last ten minutes, and I'll go get the doll. Oh, and, Marv, don't forget about our conversation. I don't like to repeat myself twice. - I said glumly, silently leaving the back room, where all I could hear was crying and whimpering.

As I waited for our goddess, I smiled and we hugged again. How she likes it, I noted immediately, making another note in my memory. Enjoying the shabby wallpaper that looked like it was left over from the civil war, the cracked walls that no one cared about, and the insects that were walking around, apparently feeling like they owned the place, I and Carrot were talking about nothing. Lovingly sharing her emotions from the role of a goddess, Mary Jane smiled sincerely and immediately recalled all the colourful moments that had already happened during such an eventful rehearsal. Passing over the meaningless chatter and loosely connected events like the 'interesting' dialogue in the coffee shop, I only nodded understandingly, lamenting how difficult it was for her on her way to comprehension of acting.

Mentally noting that we were back to her divine role as Hecate, I smiled slyly and stole a cheeky kiss from the girl's lips. After all, even I wasn't ready to hear so much about her beautiful debut on the stage of this, shall we say, 'theatre'.

The cherry flavour of her lips was so damn pleasant, that I was not even in a hurry to break the kiss, which was so sudden even for me. However, the girl didn't seem to mind such activity on my part either.

I smiled as I gently walked along the tank and felt the pleasant warmth from my faithful horse. Getting a poke in the side and a jealously disgruntled look from Carrot-top, I smiled disarmingly, hugging her gently.

Valkyrie's cheeks immediately turned pink, and her hands went under my jacket as if to keep me warm, but her naughty fingers were clearly having their own plan, playfully touching my skin with their claws. There was a fire of excitement in his eyes, a flame of real voluptuousness, and it was intriguing as hell. I knew what I was doing, though, so everything was 'going according to plan,' as a poet from Omsk sang.

Barely restraining myself, as well as this fury, I still pulled her a little away from me, because now was not the time and place for such a savoury 'continuation'.

Wagging my finger at her like a policeman, I smiled again and adjusted my clothes. Blushing like a poppy, she smiled uncertainly and turned her attention to the bike, which was still standing proudly waiting for us. Silently sitting on the iron horse, I extended my hand invitingly to the girl, who was still pensively studying the bike, which was so unusual for my previous image.

Redhead's eyes made it clear that she didn't expect such an 'ill-considered decision' from Parker.

Without hiding my grin, I silently started the engine, giving it a chance to make a little sound and decorate such a dull place with a real 'harmony of sound'. However, for some people it's just a mechanical roar of another biker, who is not clear why he is pontificating.

But what do they understand? It's a power that's so intoxicating that others can't understand.

- Is it really yours? - Still not fully believing, asked the red-haired beast.

- I borrowed it from a friend. - I didn't break the girl's pattern so drastically, because I could have borrowed the bike from myself. I'm a friend of mine.

- I see, - the girl muttered and without slowing down at all continued to study the Ural literally by touch. - Good! - she stated. - What are our plans for the evening? Since your invitation was sudden, I think it's fair to choose the place of our date for me. - She smiled at the word 'date,' and I just nodded, because she was right about something. - A lot of girlfriends have been telling me to go see Interview with the Vampire, so I'm choosing a date to the cinema. - A playful smile and another oddly intoned 'date.' Is she trying to say something?

- Vampires, I fucking hate vampires. - I growled through gritted teeth.

- Did you say something? - Mary Jane asked immediately.

- Marvellous. I love vampires, and it's been a while since I've been to the cinema. - She gave me a suspicious glance and snorted, as if she didn't believe me in the slightest.

- Let's go, then. - The girl said imperiously, clinging to my back.

I pulled out my smartphone from the inside pocket of my jacket and checked the maps, and, having found a cinema with a good rating, typed the address into the navigator. Once again enjoying the speed and drive, I drove us with a breeze to the archaic-looking but still glossy cinema. The huge building rose majestically like a beautiful cathedral, adorning with its moderately austere grandeur the whole street, where there were various shops, ethnic eateries and street food outlets for every taste.

- Let's have some pancakes and morsik. - suddenly asked the redhead. - I know this place, and in a couple of steps there should be the Belarusian Yard, and there is simply divine food, bet? - Redhead smiled provocatively.

- To what? - I was immediately interested.

- On a kiss. - The girl said thoughtfully. - If I'm right, you kiss me, if not, I kiss you. Okay? - playfully offered an original dispute red-haired beast.

- It seems that there is no possibility to lose in this game? - I smiled thoughtfully, looking directly into the mischievous eyes of this rascal.

- As you see... - the girl smiled again, taking the queue among the guests from the CIS and a couple of foreigners.

Soon we got our currant morsels and a dozen draganiki. Having settled down at a free table, I watched with undisguised interest how Ryzhik was eating the crispy pancakes. It was so savoury and juicy that I couldn't resist and took one for myself. What can be better and tastier than finger-burning pancakes? That's the question on my mind. Drinking sweet and sour morsels with all this business, I experienced bliss and was close to Nirvana, as if a gastronomic gourmet who had learnt the perfect taste. Well, or I was just hungry, because in the morning I didn't even have a poppy seed in my mouth, and, as you know, hunger is the best seasoning for food, and the pancakes were really tasty.

Having caught the moment, the girl kissed me, and after a couple of seconds she said snidely.

- So, where is my kiss? - She licked her lips seductively, playfully showing off her long tongue.

Putting my arm around the redhead's waist, I gave her a kiss, but in my own way. And if hers was tender and sweet as honey, mine was rather predatory and insistent. But you wanted it, didn't you? An argument is an argument. Mentally humming, I realised that the kiss had lengthened, and the girl didn't mind the continuation, but the pancakes were getting cold, so alas and ah. Breaking the kiss to Carrot-top's displeasure, I took another draini and sipped my morsel.

- Not so fast, Parker, or are you such a sprinter at everything? - Once again this fury was provocative, as if she were the goddess of vengeance herself.

I ignored her question and gave in to the provocation a little, and once again I broke the greedy kiss from her lips, which this time was a little longer. This time the slightly dazed girl smiled, for her prank had succeeded.

- You're so cute. - Her hot breath burned the tips of my ears, and her sweet whisper almost caressed my ears. - Now can we go to the cinema? I understand and approve, but the advert won't last forever, and we're already ten minutes late. - smiled again, the rascal.

With a curt nod, I took her by the elbow and we went to the ticket office. I was surprised to see that more than half the seats were empty, and I grinned. Apparently this film wasn't that good, or everyone who wanted to see it had already seen it, or the time was right. We had chosen a session almost in the evening, but not quite, so it shouldn't be too crowded and stuffy, and that's not a bad thing. Having quickly bought tickets, we ran around the cinema in search of our room. We passed a disgruntled student checker who checked our tickets with a sour face. We started awkwardly making our way to our seats like some schoolchildren on a first date, but as soon as we were settled, all the awkwardness evaporated.

With undisguised scepticism I started watching the vampire film. Even though I had recently annihilated those individuals in a nightclub. But with time I even got involved, because there was not the usual for me 'pink snot' and what pissed people off so much after the release of one 'film saga', or all this was not so much in the eye and did not cling to attention. Mary Jane, on the other hand, was bored, amusing herself by playfully tapping her claws on my left arm, but she soon got sucked in as well. When we finished watching, we quickly packed up and left the room at an aristocratic pace.

- I expected more. - Mary Jane said disappointedly.

- I liked it. - and a sly smile in return.

- You're just saying that to piss me off. - The girl smiled sweetly, immediately denouncing my cunning 'plan', it's unclear why.

- Who knows, - a mysterious smile in response already from my side, to continue such a peculiar 'duel of smiles'.

- You're annoying... - Carrot laughed sweetly, still not keeping the mask of seriousness on her face, and lightly hit me in the shoulder with her fist. - By the way, I've heard from my girlfriends that there's a great Pakistani cafe nearby, where the food is delicious. The rice pudding was especially praised, so since it was a day off, I could treat myself. - Mary Jane came to a compromise decision and, taking me by the elbow in tow, dragged me in the direction of the cafe.

The laconic name 'Fire' explained everything, and above it was a note in a ligature I was unfamiliar with, which already looked pretty good. The style of the cafe reminded of a usual teahouse, of which there are many, but everything looked good and clean, so I saw no reason to squeamishly leave as far away as possible. Having occupied one of the free tables, we started leisurely studying rather modest, but colourful for us menu. In the end we ordered Aloo Keema, samosa, halva puri, nihari and kheer, and some green tea, because it is extremely dangerous to eat so much food, and even from an unfamiliar kitchen near India. And tea is never too much. Soon our orders began to appear. The waiters and the kitchen worked quite skilfully and quickly.

The first course was the usual potato and chicken curry soup. Quick, tasty and damn simple. I might even google the recipe for this dish sometime. Slowly drinking green tea, we got to the blazing samosa, which, in its essence, was a usual samosa, or a puff with potatoes, herbs and some meat. One such triangle can be quite full, so it's not a bad snack if you are in a hurry, and it tastes spicy and familiar, even if the chilli is a bit out of the pattern of my diet.

The halwa puris were the usual airy flatbreads, they were brought to us still hot so we could savour their full flavour. On the tray there was also halwa, various syrups and spices with spices to suit your taste. There were also spicy flatbreads, which we were recommended to eat with a spicy-sweet thick apple Chutney sauce. It tasted really good.

Next was the slow braised beef, which the lovely waitress said was cooked and simmered in spices overnight, and it tasted bloody divine. Suddenly I had a taste for spicy cuisine, and I noticed that the food was still too spicy for Mary Jane, but she kept eating it with the rhinoceros-like tenacity of a 'I see the goal, I see no obstacles' philosophy, which was pretty damn impressive. Well, or she didn't want to get in trouble, because the idea of coming here was hers.

So for dessert we had a rice pudding dick, and there was literally only tea left for once. At the sweet pudding Carrot cheered up a bit, because the dessert practically melted in the mouth, and the unbelievable amount of nuts and other deliciousness was amazing: almonds, pistachios and cashews, as well as saffron and cardamom. However, everyone had their own variation of the mixture. After treating each other to our own variation of the dessert, we clasped our eyes in the pleasant languour of gastronomic delight.

,

- This pudding is worth all my agony,' the girl suddenly said with a blissful smile on her lips.

- I agree. It's really bloody delicious. - I said finishing my tea.

Soon the hookah was brought, and we started a lazy conversation about nothing, for what kind of conversation after such a dense meal, only siesta. Though the time was getting late in the evening, so we would soon be asleep. Slowly sipping hookah and passing it to each other, we enjoyed the thoughtful silence, where only occasionally Mary Jane asked her strange questions. The easy conversation flowed from topic to topic, and we became more and more frank, literally telling it like it is, without hypocritical falsehoods and duplicitous lies. That's what good food and 'peace bong' does to people.

- So you watch anime or hentai. But let's be honest. - Once again, the girl asked.

- Nah. It kind of passed me by. You know, studying, self-development, various hobbies, even time for girls there is no time with such a tight schedule. - Not appreciating the joke, Carrot-top immediately perked up her ears at the instantly rephrased phrase 'no girlfriend'.

- You seriously haven't seen Naruto, Bleach, or Van Pis? How could you...' the red-haired beast was genuinely perplexed. - It must be corrected, and there, and then, look, and then we'll make you a real animeshnik, or else you'll become a technician without my supervision, and that's it, it's all gone, then even the fierce hentai will not save. - Carrot-top said with conviction.

But I didn't have time to answer her with something caustic, as half of the cafe was pierced by some green body, and all the prepared words flew out of my head like a pipe. After a couple of seconds, the green big guy got up rather sharply, but again he got a slap on the face from a grey-skinned giant who flew right into him, clutching a not too big, but still moderately massive tank with one hand.

- What an abomination,' the girl said, squeamishly. - Why the hell is it so dangerous here? Something happens every time. I'm tired of the constant stress and the constant fear that I could be swatted by something like an innocent spider. - Mary Jane shouted at the top of her voice, unable to move from the horror that overwhelmed her.

Remembering how that 'abomination' had dealt with Stark's armour, I hurried to leave the scene of the battle as quickly as possible, but I didn't forget to film it, because it was definitely a hot story for the news media, but life, as they say, is more precious. Pulling Carrot behind me, I saw the grey man get a powerful right hook, and in his rage he bent the tank, which was no longer airtight and was sent flying, releasing something obviously not too good into the atmosphere. Following that, the big guys just started exchanging blows, like fighters testing each other's stamina. But that didn't last long, and Grey's opponent struck again, but this time with his head right in his opponent's face, knocking him out.

With a triumphant roar, he jumped somewhere far away, quickly hiding from the gaze of others, but the grey-skinned man soon woke up, and as if nothing had happened, limping, went about his business. But the evening did not end there, and five minutes later acid rain fell.

Taking shelter under the cover of a neighbouring cafe, we watched in horror as people with exposed skin got chemical burns, blisters bubbled up and flesh slid down to the bone. And the worst thing was that the 'rain' was in no hurry to end, uncompromisingly continuing to cripple all the people who had no time to hide. Turning Carrot-top to myself and hugging her gently, so that she could not see all the horror that was going on outside, I took out my smartphone from my pocket and called the nearest taxi, because to go in such weather on a bike is suicide and outright stupidity.

Soon a taxi appeared with a smiling Hindu driver, whose smile changed with every passing second at the sight of the horror going on outside. Using my jacket as a protection from the rain and as a kind of 'umbrella', we quickly jumped into the car.

- Once again I'm convinced that it's damn dangerous to go out with you, Parker. - Mary Jane said nervously. - Do you think we're a couple now, after all this time? - The girl asked thoughtfully, pulling me towards her.

- No,' I answered with my usual coldness. - We're too young, so it's not all at once, my Celtic sunshine. - Carrot-top was still talking, but she was sad.

- You're right, then fuck this relationship...' the valkyrie said aggressively, greedily pressing her lips to mine.

Seeing in the rear view mirror where everything was going, the Hindu smiled again and, as if nothing had happened, turned up the radio so as not to disturb the couple, and drove leisurely to the ordered address, without hearing the ringing of his phone and a very curious record on the answering machine.

- Dopinder... Sunshine, take the phone, I really promise that I won't kill all the suitors and any boyfriends of the girls you like anymore, in order to rid you of the competition, it's all professional deformation. But I'm really ready to change, call me back and we'll start all over again and hang out like in the good old days, - but the taxi driver never heard the voice of an old acquaintance for the reasons described above.