Reborn: From Nothing

My consciousness slips often.

I can’t seem to control when I’m awake and asleep.

The pattern seems to be I fall asleep when Cassius falls asleep, and I wake up when Cassius wakes up.

Its weird following a babies sleep schedule.

Well, not as weird as being a ghost in another world.

“*#@&$@*! #@$&*(#! #%@&*($* !$ #$#@#@”

I still can’t understand the language.

Waking up when it poops.

Waking up when it’s hungry.

Waking up when it feels like it.

Being a parent is difficult, uh huh uh huh.

Not like I’m a parent or anything.

The boy isn’t cute or anything but compared to other babies I’ve seen its alright.

Could use some more chiseled cheek bones and maybe some wavy hair. Definitely needs more muscle… well me too.

This is how I’ve been passing days for the past 8 months. I can’t understand the language, can’t move more than a few feet away from the baby, so I crack unfunny jokes to myself.

Why couldn’t I have just died?

…

It’s been another 4 months; it seems like the baby is finally learning some words. Thankfully, I’m learning along with it, after 12 hard months of work I know the words for “mama” and “dada”

I’m not a baby.

This seems to be another feature of ‘Shared Conscious’ as I have come to call it. I learn things alongside the baby. It doesn’t seem to learn from me though, otherwise it would be walking around and drawing production possibility frontiers.

Then it would truly be my child, which it isn’t.

Anyways, I see good prospects for the baby, perhaps if I get a body I'll teach it everything I know.

Also, its hair started growing in. The color is a bluish silver, he seems to take after his father. Perhaps the future of a chiseled jawline and muscles aren’t far off.

I’m expecting great things from you Cassius, be the ladies’ man I never was.

Though, it would be annoying if this baby I randomly came across is more successful in a short time than I ever was. Now that I think about it, that would in fact be very annoying.

Please grow up ugly.

….

16 months now and my vocabulary is growing wonderfully. I now know like 50 words, which may not sound that impressive to many of you, but to me it’s progress.

Out of boredom I tried to reason out syllables and try to decipher more words without the child picking up on them, but to no avail.

Language isn’t my strong suit, in high school I was a solid d and c student in both Spanish and English… not that I put any effort into it.

The baby has been giggling more recently, not because of Julius’ funny faces, or maybe it is.

Julius is one of the names I learned, it belongs to the 9-year-old elder brother of Cassius. The baby sometimes calls him buh-ber, the parents and Julius seem to think it’s the cutest thing ever.

I’ve gotten a good image of the estate, it is large. It takes the shape of a hollow rectangle, in the center is a pond, stone floored training ground, some trees.

Various rooms follow the walls of the rectangle shape, the middle on both sides are open living rooms. Then next to those rooms are bedrooms. There is a total 4 living rooms and eight bedrooms.

In the entrance is a grand hall for visitors, this hall has one staircase that leads down to a cellar with wine in it presumably, though I have not gone down there.

There contains a kitchen in bottom left corner, a toilet in the top left, a master bedroom in the top right and a study in the bottom right.

The study is probably my favorite room so far, the chair is soft, it has a fireplace, a lot of books. Not that I can enjoy any of those except the chair.

The mom loves the study, her name is Claudia, and she seems very intelligent and always reading. She definitely seems to be the levelheaded one in the family. She also is remarkably compassionate, always holding Cassius close whenever she has a chance, never having anything else except a smile when talking to Julius.

Marcus is the opposite of Claudia.

He is strict, rarely shows affection. When alone he is usually in the training grounds in the middle of the estate. That’s also where he spends most of the time with Julius. Frankly he confuses me, if I was a hot guy in his mid 20s I definitely wouldn’t spend all day training. Of course he has work, I don’t know what his job is, but its probably important if he has this big of a house.

There is also something I don’t understand, which is the look in his eyes. He often looks far off in the distance, even indoors. I have no clue what he is seeing.

Whatever it is, I probably couldn’t relate. We have nothing in common.

Though, it would be nice to talk to a guy my age.

….

I have been trying my best to understand this world. I can assume the climate, closest resembling culture, architecture, family circumstances.

But I am left with one grand question at the end of all that knowledge, one question I have hardly any clues on.

Why am I here? I am certain this is not a dream, perhaps a grand hallucination? But lasting 18 months? Am I comatose? No, there is no was I could have survived that fall.

It is hurting my head to think about.

Is this really another time period? How the hell could that even happen? Though I don’t think time travel is reasonable at all, there is no motive, and this body doesn’t make sense in that case.

I have imagined the possibility of holograms, but where could they be projected from? The technology probably exists but…

No I haven’t eaten, passed bowels, pissed, or even aged since getting here.

Supernatural activity? That’s completely ridiculous. Ghosts are completely illogical.

This is completely absurd. I have no explanations possible except something I have already assumed doesn’t exist. Something unnatural, something divine, something that fractures my perception of reality.

I don’t yet know what that is.

But I know why I’m here.

That reason is to watch over the baby. It is the only explanation. Do babies gain some sort of spirit guardian? That doesn't make sense, I have no effect on the physical world, nor have I encountered anything outside of the physical world to defend from, nor other guardians.

Plus I have no explanation for how such a thing would function.

AH FUCK

I’m tired of thinking about this.

I sit down and itch my balls which I’ve needed to for a minute.

Regardless, my answer will come from paying attention to the baby most likely. There must be a reason for me to watch over it.

For now, that is what I’ll do.

God, I’ve been too caught up in trying to figure this shitty situation out that I forgot.

Nothing has changed since I came to this world.

I’m still alone, I still want to die, only now that is not an option. So I’m just stuck in my despair like a pitiful trapped animal.

Universe, why did you do this to me?

You like games huh? Fuck you

Toying with my life like this.

Whatever, I’ll endure this boredom for long enough to find a way out of this mess.

Until then all I can do is watch over the boy.

Yeah, I’ll do just that.