Red Mansion

“I see.”There was nothing special about it. It was a name almost devoid of effort. Just like how his parents, who had no religion, had named him Sung-kyung after some book they found and used for prenatal education.“I went there a few times, and every time, it would be sitting on my car.”The restaurant was on the outskirts, a place Surim liked, so they went there often. One day, the gray cat, with eyes like blades of grass, stared at him and meowed. Perhaps the hood was warm in the winter. The cat didn’t run away but didn’t approach him either. It just stared, as if recognizing Chungrim as the car’s owner.According to the restaurant owner, the cat had been wandering the neighborhood for a while. It was attacked by other local stray cats and only roamed where there were people. The restaurant owner sympathized but drew a line at merely providing food and water.“It looked at me like it wanted me to take it. It felt pitiful, so I picked it up.”After seeing the cat a few times, he started to pay attention to it. The small puffs of breath when it meowed softly bothered him. Its deep green eyes seemed to implore him to take it away.At first, he just watched, then he reached out and petted it, feeling its soft fur. He even brought snacks for it and later drove there alone, even without Surim, just to see the cat.He was touched when the restaurant owner said the cat seemed to follow him. Did the cat know him? What kind of person he was, to jump out of the bushes when he arrived?Chungrim gave the homeless cat a chance. He opened the passenger door and watched. At first, the gray cat just kept its distance.After a few days of attempts, the cat jumped into the car from near the wheels. It clawed and scratched the seat so badly before he covered it with a blanket, but Chungrim felt no annoyance. He only felt pity for the small creature trembling under the blanket.“It couldn’t survive without me.”That unusually harsh winter—if he hadn’t let Mero into the warm car, if he had ignored the pleading eyes on the hood, what would have happened? Chungrim truly believed the cat would have died without him.The cat seemed to think the same, following Chungrim around like a puppy. Chungrim soon accepted Mero into his territory, and that had already been more than three years ago.“Pity…”Listening to the story, Sung-kyung found himself envying the gray cat. The affectionate tone in Chungrim’s voice when he called “Mero” lingered in his ears like an echo. Sung-kyung was pitiful too. He had no one but Chungrim. If Chungrim knew all this, would he take care of him the same way?“That’s why you’re here too. Because you can’t manage without me.”Chungrim’s words were confident, as if stating a fact about himself. Yet Sung-kyung nodded obediently, not forgetting to agree. Their gazes tangled in the cold air.The buzzing of a phone cut through the tension. Chungrim checked his phone and clicked his tongue before walking to another room to take the call. Sung-kyung held his breath. From the length of the footsteps, it seemed he went into Mero’s room.“Yeah, what’s up?”The door closed, muffling his annoyed voice. Who could it be? Who did Chungrim take calls from so secretly? Jealousy flared up, more frequently since they started having sex. He felt it towards anyone Chungrim glanced at, spoke to on the phone, even towards the cat…“Hey.”The cat, having finished its meal, now meowed for a snack, sitting on the sofa opposite Sung-kyung. Not knowing where the snacks were, he hushed the cat.“Quiet, he’s on the phone.”The cat meowed back defiantly, thumping its tail on the sofa as if to threaten him. Its summer-green eyes blinked at him slowly. Staring into them, Sung-kyung saw his own pathetic reflection in the elongated black pupils.“Were you making that face back then too?”The cat thumped its tail again. Sung-kyung, watching the cat, covered his eyes with his palm. Realizing the cat had a similar background to his, born in a cool house and eating clean food, he felt a strange sense of kinship. He didn’t know why his emotions were fluctuating, or why he felt like crying.Maybe it was because his own reflection in the green eyes seemed so wretched.＊＊＊Chungrim still visited the Red Mansion once every four days. Sometimes he took the thugs with him, sometimes he didn’t. He still collected money at the end of each month, and Sung-kyung was always by his side. Today, too, Sung-kyung sat in the passenger seat as usual.“It’ll only take a moment.”Recently, he had been asking for the store key but was repeatedly refused. Nevertheless, he persisted. It wasn’t because he was worried about the store or wanted to work again. He knew that was impossible. He just wanted to retrieve a notebook he had left in the drawer.“What are you hiding there?”He didn’t mind if Chungrim looked through it, but there was still much left unwritten.“I’ll go get it.”“You’re stubborn as hell.”Chungrim had a hunch. Seeing how Sung-kyung was so determined to keep it hidden, he guessed it might be some disgusting notebook recording his every move. He couldn’t understand why anyone would need such a perverted record when they were mixing bodies and facing each other almost every day.“Get out.”Entering through the familiar back door, the store was just around the corner. It was a shabby place he’d known his entire life. Now, having been deprived of the keys by Chungrim, it had been a while since he could open it. Dust covered the counter and the ice cream freezer, and the fan’s chain was tangled in a mess, as if someone had tried to use it.“Planning to reopen the store?”As they walked down the hallway, Chungrim asked a suggestive question. He knew what the answer would be but asked anyway. He had just seen Sung-kyung’s busy eyes scanning the store. Sung-kyung rolled his eyes and then answered belatedly.“I need to open it if I’m going to pay off my debt. I don’t know.”Without the store job, he had no source of income. Chungrim had suggested he repay in other ways, but Sung-kyung couldn’t do that. The only work he knew was at the Red Mansion, and visiting once every four days made it impossible to earn properly.“I lost my house key, but if I find it, I can repay you immediately. I’ll get someone to open the door and bring it to you.”Where could the key be? It wasn’t at the hospital or the store. He wondered if he should ask a neighbor he barely knew to help break in.“Where’s this house of yours?”Chungrim squinted and gave Sung-kyung a sharp push on the back.“Phone.”“Here. It’s in my pocket.”Sung-kyung fumbled in his right pocket to confirm.“Meet me at the back door in 30 minutes.”“Okay.”They arrived at Room 109 hospital. Chungrim knocked on the front door instead of Sung-kyung, leaning against the hallway railing and lighting a cigarette. Though he told him to come to the back door, he had been waiting by the front door since the last time. The ashtray on the floor was filled with cigarette butts, evidence of his wait.Why did Chungrim guard the door in this heat? Sung-kyung could only conclude that he was special to Chungrim. He bit his lower lip to suppress a smile.“Oh, you’re here.”The elderly doctor didn’t look like he had just woken up, but he opened the door with a flustered expression. Adjusting his smudged glasses, he glanced at Chungrim.“Come in.”Sung-kyung glanced back at Chungrim standing behind him and then entered Room 109. Inside was cooler than outside, thanks to the constantly running air cooler. After being used to the air conditioner, this seemed insufficient to beat the heat. It was amusing, having survived all his life with just a fan, when did he get used to cool air?“He ate the porridge and took the medicine. He’s lying down now.”“Okay. How’s his walking?”“Well, it’s the same. But it’s a relief. At least the sores on his back have almost healed. Maybe because it’s cool.”The doctor opened the door. Inside, the air cooler was still running.The Red Mansion was so old that drilling holes or hammering nails into the walls was forbidden. Some people who had made some money had tried installing air conditioners but failed every time since external units couldn’t be attached.So, a few had brought in air coolers but had to switch back to fans. The building’s poor soundproofing caused vibrations felt by the neighbors, leading to fights.Room 109, on the first floor and expanded by connecting several units, could use an air cooler. It was the only place in the Red Mansion where one could have a cool and comfortable summer. Having lived here all his life, Sung-kyung once thought there was no better place than Room 109. Until he stepped into Chungrim’s space, he truly believed that. Now, he was realizing how small this place was compared to the world. He flapped the front of his shirt to relieve the heat.“Go ahead, talk to your father.”The old doctor hurriedly took off his coat and hung it on the hanger. Previously, he would go about his business or see patients whether Sung-kyung was there or not, but today he seemed unusually flustered.“I’ll be out for a while, okay? Talk for a long time, a long time.”Come to think of it, the woman who was always at the counter wasn’t there either. The big guys from Room 110, who used to eat cup noodles in their undershirts, were also absent. Even so, the old doctor kept repeating that they should stay for a long time. It seemed like he wanted Sung-kyung to watch over the hospital while he was away. With a reluctant nod, Sung-kyung agreed.His father was squinting at the ceiling. A young man, whom he had never seen before, was lying on the mattress where his mother used to lie. His sagging face suggested he had been on drugs for quite a while. Probably a new patient. He appeared to be deeply asleep.“Father.”“…Sung-kyung, ah.”“Yes. Have you been digesting well lately?”“Mmhmm.”As always, his father didn’t ask many questions. He didn’t inquire why Sung-kyung had been visiting less frequently, how the hospital bills were being paid, or how the store was doing. He probably hadn’t even noticed that he was visiting every four days.“Even though he’s a quack, it looks like he’s taking good care of you. Your complexion seems a bit better.”His father’s face was still pale with chapped lips, but there was a peculiar vitality to it. His shallow breaths caused his chest to rise and fall.“Are you sleeping well?”“Mmhmm.”He was slow to respond, having to swallow before speaking. Sung-kyung looked down at his father for a long time. Maybe the medication was kicking in. His wrinkled eyelids were heavy with sleep.“The meds must be working.”His father’s sluggish eyelids eventually stilled. The room was quiet. Naturally, no one was there to talk.“Sleep well.”He continued to gaze at his sleeping father. Sung-kyung, who had been the noisiest presence in the room, used up the full 30 minutes Chungrim had given him before standing up. He glanced down at his father’s dry, cracked hand before turning away.“Oh, you’re leaving already?”The old doctor was sitting in the living room. Why hadn’t he come in and just sat there alone? Sung-kyung gave him a puzzled look, and the doctor scratched his head. An awkwardly raised corner of his mouth added to his discomfort.“I was just about to wash up. But… you’re leaving early today?”“Yes. I’ll come again.”“When?”The atmosphere felt different, but given the doctor’s usual odd behavior, it wasn’t overly suspicious.“In four days.”“Ah.”His mouth remained open for a while. He muttered “four days, four days,” and his murky eyes wandered aimlessly around the living room.“Alright, take care.”Sung-kyung looked at the doctor gesturing toward the door, then turned to leave. As he opened the front door, hot, dry air rushed in.“Huh?”Sung-kyung looked around in confusion. He quickly scanned the nearby open space, resting his hand on the railing. There were a few people sitting in the shade, fanning themselves, but the person he was looking for was nowhere in sight.“Where, where did he go?”Panic set in. His heart pounded rapidly, making his fingertips cold despite the weather. Sweat trickled down his back. Chungrim must have reassured him only to leave. Maybe he had sold him off to the soon-to-be new owner of the Red Mansion. Damn it, after sticking together for days, now he was being abandoned? Clenching his teeth, Sung-kyung ran down the hallway.Chungrim wasn’t at the end of the hallway, by the emergency exit, in front of Store 3, or at Room 422. By now, his forehead and shirt were soaked with sweat. Where is he? Damn it, where did he go? His frantic eyes searched every corner of the Red Mansion.He suddenly remembered the phone in his pocket. With trembling hands, he pulled it out. The call log showed only one number, so he pressed the top one. The call rang on and on without being answered.Sung-kyung nervously fiddled with the watch on his left wrist. The watch Chungrim had given him. Proof that the time they had spent together wasn’t an illusion. He groped the watch strap, his sharp gaze scanning the hallway. His thumb, clenched between his teeth, turned red, but he didn’t care.“Why isn’t he answering?”The promised 30 minutes had long passed. Did Chungrim go to collect debts? Then why wasn’t he answering his phone? Frustrated, Sung-kyung ruffled his hair.Last night, when the phone suddenly rang, Chungrim had gone to his room instead of the living room. Previously, he hadn’t cared if Sung-kyung was around when he took calls. Why was last night different? What did his voice sound like when he answered? Did he say “oh, why”? Or “I’m dumping you tomorrow”? Chungrim’s fragmented voice swirled chaotically in his mind.The person who called must have been the one who used the condoms in the drawer of the living room table. Chungrim had said he had no experience with men, so it must be a woman, right? Who could it be? There were no women around his age here. Did he meet her while working? Sung-kyung’s vision turned white with jealousy. He clutched his sticky forehead and roughly tousled his hair with his sweaty hand.“Damn it, he can’t do this.”After taming him to his liking, Chungrim couldn’t just abandon him. If Chungrim was seeing someone else, Sung-kyung was ready to ruin everything. He’d go to her and cause a scene. Tell her he had been with him, that he had even kissed him. Even if it meant getting beaten to death, he’d ruin Chungrim’s life. Muttering curses, Sung-kyung continued walking.The last place was the back gate, their meeting point. His shoulders heaved as he moved quickly. When he burst through the glass door, the blazing sun hit him. The heat rose from the ground, warming his breath.No one was where the car was parked. Feeling dizzy, Sung-kyung turned around. His vision alternated between black and white, as if he was on drugs. Despite staggering, he kept moving.“There you are.”At the sound of the voice he had been desperately searching for, Sung-kyung’s vision finally cleared. Chungrim was smoking near the back gate. As the smoke dispersed, the face that emerged was indeed the person he had been looking for. He had almost missed him, hidden under the shade of a tree.“I thought you were gone!”Sung-kyung shouted. It was happening again—the cycle of uncontrollable anger was back. At times like these, nothing could suppress his rage. His throat started to sting. Chungrim’s action of exhaling smoke came to an abrupt halt. He tilted his head slightly and slowly raised his gaze, his cold eyes fixing on Sung-kyung.“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you answer my calls?”A man passing by looked their way. Sung-kyung’s face was red, and he was panting. Chungrim watched the scene with quite an amused look. He had rarely seen Sung-kyung express his emotions like this. He had expected Sung-kyung to cling to his pants, but instead, he was yelling in anger. It was both ridiculous and funny. Chungrim took a final drag of his cigarette and dropped the butt, crushing it underfoot.“Where do you get off raising your voice like that?”His cold voice cut through the air, reminiscent of when he came to collect debts. Despite this, Sung-kyung’s breath remained unsteady, his body trembling. While he felt relieved that Chungrim hadn’t abandoned him, he had no other way to express the fear he had felt in that moment.Chungrim reached out and gripped Sung-kyung’s white cheek tightly. Even under the pressure of his rough grasp, Sung-kyung couldn’t calm his rising anger.“You were always there! Right in front, waiting!”Sung-kyung persisted like a stubborn child. Chungrim looked impassively at his flushed face, strained with anger. In truth, his insides were boiling hotter than the midday sun. Sung-kyung had always been so quiet that Chungrim had never even thought to tell him not to raise his voice. And yet, here he was, veins bulging as he yelled. How many people in the mansion had ever seen him like this? The situation was quite satisfying, and Chungrim found himself curious.“Did you really think I would wait for you?”Chungrim tilted his head slightly and whispered, pressing his forehead against Sung-kyung’s. The question was loaded with a clear intent.He had only wanted to scare Sung-kyung because it annoyed him to see him looking at the store so wistfully. He had never intended to leave him. The fact that Sung-kyung diligently searched for him and felt uneasy in his absence was pleasing. The realization that he could bring emotions to Sung-kyung’s usually dry face gave him chills.“….”Sung-kyung glared at Chungrim with red eyes and lips. His shoulders shook and trembled with his rough breathing. For a moment, Chungrim considered beating the attitude out of him, but decided against the unnecessary exertion. Instead, he waited for Sung-kyung to calm down before speaking.“Wake up.”He let go of Sung-kyung’s face, causing his head to snap to the side. His lips curved into a cruel smile as he watched Sung-kyung’s red eyes glare back at him. Chungrim thought that it wouldn’t hurt to break him a little more.Without hesitation, Chungrim turned and walked back into the mansion instead of heading to where his car was parked. He quickly brushed past the panting Sung-kyung, feeling him follow closely behind. There was also the heavy sensation of Sung-kyung grabbing the hem of his shirt.“You were really going to leave me… You were just going to go, but I caught you, didn’t I?”The persistent mumbling continued to irritate him. The trivial notebook was an annoyance. What started as an attempt to scare him turned out well. Watching the anxious Sung-kyung babble nonstop made Chungrim’s mouth water.“Nobody would buy you even if I paid them,” Chungrim said with a laugh. Despite his words, Sung-kyung remained uneasy.As they walked through the hallway, several people they passed looked at Sung-kyung with strange expressions. It must have seemed odd to see Chungrim and Sung-kyung together, especially with Sung-kyung trailing so closely behind him.Sung-kyung glanced sharply around, feeling the stares. His long bangs brushed his eyebrows, and tears welled up in his bloodshot eyes.Chungrim headed for the store. He pulled out the worn store key from his pocket and opened the door. The hinge, rusted further, creaked loudly. A musty, moldy smell hit them due to the lack of ventilation.It felt unfamiliar to Sung-kyung, who had once considered the place almost like home. He hesitated at the threshold, clutching Chungrim’s shirt. Chungrim glanced at his watch.“One minute.”The damp air, worn clothes, cheap slippers, and rusted keys—all were part of Sung-kyung’s process of letting go of his attachments to the Red Mansion. If he took that wretched notebook home, at least he wouldn’t be asking for the store key for a while. His biggest attachment was his father in the hospital, but there was nothing he could do about that.“…”“You said you had something to get? Move quickly, before I leave without you.”Pushed forward by a light shove, Sung-kyung stepped over the threshold. Conscious of the eyes on him, he opened the bottom drawer and retrieved the notebook. It contained notes on Chungrim’s every moment. Though he had more at home, he was worried about not having his house key. Glancing nervously at Chungrim, who stood leaning against the door with his arms crossed, Sung-kyung grabbed a few worn bills from a safe and tucked them into the notebook, trying to make it seem like the money was the main reason for taking it.“All done?”“Not yet.”Afraid Chungrim would question him if he only took the notebook, Sung-kyung hesitated, then stuffed some worn bills into the notebook, making it seem like he was primarily concerned about the money.“All done.”“Come on, hurry. It’s scorching in here.”The store was stifling, hot, and sticky, making it hard to breathe. He wondered how he had endured summers here, even without a fan, not too long ago.Chungrim started walking, and Sung-kyung followed closely, clinging to him. Chungrim had acted as if he wouldn’t let him have the store key, but he had brought it. He didn’t push Sung-kyung away even though his shirt was being wrinkled by his tight grip. There were a few pages left in the notebook that would soon be filled.For some reason, Chungrim didn’t ask about the notebook either during the walk home or after they arrived. He just glanced at it, seeing it clutched to Sung-kyung’s chest, but didn’t show any curiosity. Sung-kyung felt relieved.Sung-kyung made sure to finish his shower quicker than Chungrim, despite entering later, worried he might leaf through the notebook. His hair, still dripping wet, soaked into his gown.He counted the money from the notebook. The musty smell of old bills filled the air. Business hadn’t been good, and he had saved around 100,000 won. It was a bit short for paying the interest, but it would have to do. The old bills looked pitiful on the clean, fancy table.Chungrim was still in the bathroom. Sung-kyung clutched the notebook and headed to Mero’s room, a place he had never entered before, though it was always open.The room was larger and better than the one he had shared with his family in Room 422. One side had a large window, and small boxes were stacked nearby. Mero lay in a transparent basket, lazily observing the intruder.“Where should I put this?”It was unlike a regular room, lacking obvious hiding spots like a bed, closet, or drawers. Sung-kyung fumbled around, eventually hiding the notebook in a box filled with toys. Since Mero rarely played with his toys, it seemed a safe spot. Mero didn’t make a sound as Sung-kyung touched his toy box.With the notebook safely hidden, Sung-kyung left the room. From the living room, he heard Chungrim’s voice, talking on the phone.“After doing everything you asked, you still don’t show gratitude. What are you planning now?”Sung-kyung listened. Chungrim, as usual, had only a towel wrapped around his waist.Chungrim noticed Sung-kyung’s presence and looked up. He picked up the scattered bills on the table and raised an eyebrow as if to ask if Sung-kyung had left them there. Sung-kyung nodded, and Chungrim smirked mockingly.“Trying to sneak a peek, huh? Annoying.”Chungrim tapped the sofa, usually Mero’s spot. Sung-kyung sat down, and the sofa creaked under his weight, unlike when the cat sat there.“Anyway, I’ll destroy everything if I have to.”He raised his middle finger towards the ceiling. The voice on the other end of the line was loud enough for Sung-kyung to hear. Chungrim scowled and abruptly ended the call. The phone landed on the table, scattering the old bills.“Hey. You mess with Mero when I’m not here, don’t you?”“I just look at him.”“Why were you in that room?”“…I was curious.”Chungrim chuckled at Sung-kyung’s excuses, amused.“So you don’t deny you were bothering him?”His large hand gently tugged at Sung-kyung’s damp hair.“That guy wouldn’t approach for no reason. He’s expecting something.”Maybe Chungrim was entirely right. Sung-kyung clearly wanted something from him, though it was more voyeurism than anything else. Regardless, what Sung-kyung desired was “Kwon Chungrim.” Just that fact alone made it worthwhile to keep him close. Chungrim brought Sung-kyung’s wet hair to his nose and inhaled deeply. The scent of the same shampoo filled his nostrils.“Poor kids like you need to stick together.”“Yes, I understand.”Why even respond? Chungrim laughed out loud. Sung-kyung’s eyes, still full of lingering heat, stayed fixed on Chungrim’s lips for a long time.