Red Mansion

He found himself trapped in a dark room with no way out. A single bed stood desolately in the pitch-black space. At first, both his hands were bound, but now only his left hand was tied to the bed’s headboard. He could walk around a bit, but couldn’t reach the door.There was no clock or window, so he couldn’t tell if it was day or night. He only knew the time when Chungrim brought him food or water, or took him to the bathroom to wash and relieve himself. Every action he performed after waking had to pass through Chungrim’s hands. He couldn’t move well on his own anyway and needed help to get around.The only time Chungrim couldn’t intrude was in the dead of night. In that darkness, hallucinations would often creep in. Every time this happened, Sung-kyung would burst out with the anxiety he had been suppressing.“Bring the money, I said! Ugh, get the drugs, now! Lick their feet if you have to, they’ll give it to you!”“Sung-kyung, it’s so hot. The hospital is too hot. Huh? Can’t you let me out?”“Go now! Come back tomorrow morning.”“What do you mean you didn’t lock the door? Do you know how much this all costs?”Sung-kyung crawled to the unyielding door. Bang, bang. He pounded on it fiercely, but it wouldn’t open. The hallucinations clung to his back, whispering incessantly in his ears. He covered his ears, but the voices didn’t stop. They seemed to be echoing inside his head.“Your parents are dying, and all their son does is indulge himself. The family is really doing well.”He couldn’t tell if the mocking voice belonged to his mother or father.“Uh, ugh.”Sung-kyung shook his head violently, sitting with his back against the door. The chain around his wrist clanked loudly but wasn’t enough to drown out the hallucinations.“Shut up. Shut up!”In his memories, his parents were alive and dead, healthy and sick.“If I don’t take the painkillers, I can’t breathe properly! How can anyone live on just half a pill?”The line between reality and hallucination blurred, making everything confusing. Sometimes he doubted if it was really Chungrim who came to him every day, and he couldn’t even be sure of where he was.“Painkillers are too expensive, too…”No light seeped through the cracks in the door. Occasionally, he could hear a cat crying outside the room, but the door never opened until morning. It was only when the hallucinations subsided that Sung-kyung could collapse and fall into a deep sleep next to the door.When conscious, Sung-kyung was completely obedient to Chungrim. Chungrim had been very angry with him before. He didn’t dare to do anything that might displease Chungrim, as he didn’t want to be abandoned and hoped to stay here longer.Chungrim didn’t seem to completely trust him, but perhaps because he was obedient, sometimes after bathing, he was allowed to sit on the sofa. This was usually in the afternoon, the only time he got to rest when the sky outside turned orange at dusk. Once the sky turned black, Sung-kyung had to return to the dark room without exception.How many days had passed living like this? Waking up to eat, blinking to find himself sitting in a bathtub, then snapping back to consciousness only to find himself panting beneath Chungrim. His world had completely fallen apart. His calves, once so painful that even brushing against the sheets hurt, were now tightly bandaged, and stepping on the floor brought only bearable pain.“What are you doing, stopping in the middle of eating?”He forced his heavy eyes open. Chungrim was grabbing his jaw and shoving a spoon into his mouth. He felt something mushy and lukewarm on his tongue, tasting faintly of porridge.So, he was in the middle of eating… He chewed and swallowed the mushy rice grains with difficulty. Sung-kyung glanced down at the half-empty bowl of watery porridge. Strangely, the edges of the bowl began to turn a sickly blue as he stared at it.“Ugh.”He clapped a hand over his mouth, trying to suppress the urge to vomit. Chungrim clicked his tongue, set the spoon down, and deftly unchained Sung-kyung’s wrist. Despite being freed, Sung-kyung didn’t dare to move hastily.He recalled crawling to the bathroom alone last time and getting beaten for it. After that, he was trapped in the bathtub until Chungrim had sex with him until he was spent. Chungrim had seemed very angry then. He couldn’t risk angering him again. With tears in his eyes, Sung-kyung looked up at Chungrim while still holding his mouth.“Follow me.”Chungrim’s permission to stand allowed Sung-kyung to move. He clung to Chungrim’s waist for support as he slowly followed behind, limping because of the bandage on his leg. By the time they reached the bathroom, sweat was beading on his forehead.Finally at the bathroom, Sung-kyung clung to the toilet and retched for a long time.“Rinse your mouth.”As Chungrim flushed the toilet, he issued another command. Sung-kyung rinsed his mouth several times and grabbed a toothbrush. Seeing the gray toothbrush next to his made him chuckle. Without looking in the mirror, he brushed his teeth with his eyes closed.The slight sting from the cuts on his lips reminded him that the wounds were still there. Relieved, Sung-kyung wiped his wet lips and left the bathroom. Chungrim had watched the entire scene with his arms crossed.“C-can I stay with you tonight?”Chungrim didn’t respond. Sung-kyung licked his lower lip and spoke again.“That room… it’s so noisy. I can’t sleep because of the noise.”“…”“I won’t scratch myself. Even if there are bugs…”Chungrim’s gaze was inscrutable. Did he hate the idea of sleeping together? Why? Was it because of the bugs under his skin? Or did he just find him too filthy to deal with? Was he angry about the request? Why wasn’t he saying anything?Desperate, Sung-kyung wanted to grab Chungrim’s clothes, but his wrist hurt too much to lift his hand.“Where have you been sleeping until now?”“A, a room I don’t know… A noisy room.”Sung-kyung fumbled with his ears, covered in scratch marks. It really was noisy. So noisy that he wanted to cut his ears off. His eyes glistened with desperation as he tried to convey his sincerity. Chungrim’s rough hand brushed against his wrist, still covered in scratch marks.“You’re really losing it.”“…”Chungrim’s broad shoulders shook as he laughed a few times before turning away abruptly. Fearing he might go to the Red Mansion without him again, Sung-kyung hurried to follow.As he passed through the living room, he heard Mero crying. The cat was sitting in a hammock positioned on the windowsill, staring at Sung-kyung. Behind it, the sky was pitch black. The glass window reflected the scenery of the living room perfectly.There was Sung-kyung, limping, with a bandage wrapped around his left calf, scabs and bruises on his face. He looked just like one of those junkies in the mansion. Maybe he started looking like them because he kept doing drugs. He had never heard of that happening before.“……”Chungrim stood at the entrance of the room, staring at Sung-kyung. His pale face looked very gaunt as he stupidly gazed at the window. The bruises and wounds actually suited his white face quite well. Chungrim knocked on the door with his bent index finger. The sound brought Sung-kyung’s attention back. His dim eyes, as if bewitched, refocused. His limping steps finally led him into the room.“You’ve been here all along. Look.”There was a tray with the porridge he had been eating on one side of the bed, and the chain that bound Sung-kyung was hooked to the headboard. The sheets were still rumpled as if someone had just been sitting there.“Here…?”Had he really been in this room? Was it true? There were no windows or lights, so nothing could be seen at night, only hallucinations. Sung-kyung tilted his head. He couldn’t believe it.“Yeah. You’ve been sleeping, eating, crying, and making a fuss here. You’ve even had sex.”He shouldn’t forget if he had been sharing the same bed with Chungrim. He was confident he would never forget anything related to Chungrim. It was clear that not writing in his notebook lately had caused this forgetfulness. He resolved to start writing in it again tomorrow.Sung-kyung repeated the resolution he had forgotten and remembered several times already.＊＊＊When he opened his eyes, he saw a pitch-black ceiling. Everything around him was dark. It was night again. Sung-kyung pressed his rapidly beating heart as if being chased. He took a deep breath and looked around carefully. Was what Chungrim said true? Had Chungrim been by his side every night?“He’s here…”Chungrim was within reach if he stretched out his hand. A flush of color returned to Sung-kyung’s face. It was true. They had been in the same room, the same bed, together all along. So why hadn’t he noticed before? Was he really as messed up as Chungrim said?“I don’t hear anything now.”Realizing Chungrim was there, the hallucinations that had tormented him every night abruptly stopped.Sung-kyung had experienced something similar before. After his mother died, he heard hallucinations while alone in room 422. Chungrim, who rushed to him at dawn, had protected him from the hallucinations all night. It felt just like that night. This time, he hoped that when he opened his eyes, Chungrim would still be there.When Sung-kyung reached out to touch Chungrim’s neatly lined eyelashes, the clattering of the chain was loud. He froze in his tracks. Only after confirming that Chungrim’s eyelids were still closed did he slowly withdraw his hand.For the first time today, he could see his surroundings. A large window took up one side of the room, with a sofa beneath it. Sung-kyung felt curious about the outside. He quietly got up and sat on the sofa by the window. With his bandaged foot uncomfortable, he sat cross-legged and placed the injured foot on his thigh.The stiff bandage was quite heavy, and he thought it would be much easier to walk without it. He tried to slip his fingers under the bandage below his knee to tear it off but quickly gave up. He realized he couldn’t do it with his own strength. Exhausted, he propped his weak arms on the windowsill and leaned forward.It was late, and maybe because he was high up, there were no people passing by. He only saw a few cars speeding down the road. One, two, three. Dozens of cars passed by. Sung-kyung gradually lost interest. His dark eyes scanned a distant park and apartment buildings. Among them, he spotted a familiar building by its shape.“…I thought it was close.”He vaguely remembered running there in slippers and barefoot. He couldn’t recall exactly why or what had driven him to seek out that place alone. All he could remember clearly was that no matter how much he ran, drenched in sweat, the fence and gray building seemed unreachable. Yet, he had eventually arrived and met Chungrim.“Mero’s been quiet, so now Sung-kyung is the one making a fuss every night.”Sung-kyung quickly turned his head. Chungrim, who had just woken up, was sitting up and brushing his hair back. His voice was lower and more subdued from just waking up.Sung-kyung silently watched Chungrim. His long hair, which had grown out, covered his eyes and poked under them. But having done this for two years, Sung-kyung could stare without blinking.“Doesn’t seem like you hear anything today.”“…No. I don’t hear anything.”A soft laugh escaped Chungrim, reaching Sung-kyung’s ears. Even though his breath didn’t touch him, Sung-kyung felt his whole body itch. He scratched his thighs covered by the shirt.At some point, Sung-kyung was wearing a shirt instead of a gown. It was loose and cozy, probably Chungrim’s. The sleeves were rolled up several times, and below the wrist, a chain was tightly wrapped like a bracelet. It had replaced the watch Chungrim had given him before.Unlike a watch, the chain was cold and uncomfortable. Sung-kyung slowly shook his wrist, but it only twisted with a sound, showing no sign of coming off.“Are you planning to crawl out again? Where are you thinking of going this time?”Startled by the sudden voice nearby, Sung-kyung looked up. Chungrim, wearing only pants and exposing his upper body, looked even more sculpted under the moonlight.Sung-kyung forced his gaze away from Chungrim’s solid chest and looked up at him. He sneaked a glance at Chungrim’s face, who was looking outside with an indifferent expression. Chungrim tilted his head slightly, staring at Sung-kyung.“I’m not going anywhere.”Meeting Chungrim’s eyes felt like a dream, with the time and space around him floating hazily. The pleasure he felt the first time two years ago was still the same. He kept his eyes wide open until they reddened, afraid that if he closed them, everything would vanish like an illusion.“A broken toy is just discarded once you let go.”“……”“Why bother fixing it to play with it again?”Chungrim’s murmur was unclear whether it was directed at him or just a muttering to himself. So Sung-kyung simply listened to the low voice.“Don’t you think so?”Sung-kyung nodded slowly. Chungrim laughed dryly. Idiot. Nodding without even understanding what it means.Chungrim’s eyes lingered on Sung-kyung. His disheveled black hair, pale skin, dark eyes with a dot underneath, countless wounds and bruises, lips parted stupidly, and a thin body barely covered by a shirt.As he passed through the living room, Sung-kyung heard Mero’s meow. The cat was sitting in a hammock positioned on the windowsill, staring at him. Beyond the cat, the sky was pitch black. The living room’s scenery was clearly reflected in the glass window.Sung-kyung was limping, with a bandage wrapped around his left calf. His face was marked with scabs and bruises. He looked like the junkie brat from the mansion. Maybe the drugs made him similar. He had never heard of that happening before.“……”Chungrim stood at the entrance of the room, staring at Sung-kyung. His pale face, dumbly gazing at the window, was extremely haggard. The bruises and wounds suited his white face quite well. Chungrim tapped the door with his bent index finger. The sound drew Sung-kyung’s gaze back. His eyes, which had been faintly unfocused as if in a trance, regained their focus. He limped into the room.“You were here all along. Look.”On one side of the bed was a tray with the porridge he had been eating earlier, and the chain that had been restraining Sung-kyung was hanging from the bed’s headboard. The sheets were disheveled, as if someone had just been sitting there.“Here…?”Had he really been in this room? He could hardly believe it. At night, with no light from the windows, he couldn’t see anything and only heard hallucinations. Sung-kyung tilted his head. It was impossible to believe.“Yes. You’ve been sleeping, eating, crying, and acting crazy here. You’ve done everything, including having sex.”If he had been sharing the same bed with Chungrim all this time, he shouldn’t forget. He was confident he wouldn’t forget anything about Chungrim. It must be because he hadn’t been writing in his notebook lately. He resolved to start writing in it again from tomorrow.Sung-kyung repeated his resolution, which he had already forgotten and remembered several times.＊＊＊When he opened his eyes, he saw the pitch-black ceiling. Everything around him was darkness. Night had come again. Sung-kyung pressed his rapidly beating chest as if he were a chased man. He sighed and carefully surveyed his surroundings. Could Chungrim’s words from earlier be true? Had Chungrim been with him every night?“He’s here…”Chungrim was within arm’s reach. A smile appeared on Sung-kyung’s face. It was true. They had been in the same room, in the same bed, together all along. But why hadn’t he noticed until now? Maybe he really had lost his mind, as Chungrim suggested.“I can’t hear anything.”Now that he realized Chungrim was with him, the hallucinations that tormented him every night stopped.Sung-kyung had experienced something similar before. After his mother passed away, he heard hallucinations alone in Room 422. Chungrim had rushed over at dawn to protect him from the hallucinations. It felt just like that night. He hoped that even if he opened his eyes, Chungrim would stay with him.When Sung-kyung reached out to touch Chungrim’s neatly arranged eyelashes, the noisy clanking of the chain followed. He froze. Only after confirming that Chungrim’s eyelids were tightly closed did he slowly withdraw his hand.For the first time, he could see his surroundings clearly. The wide window that occupied one side and the sofa beneath it. Sung-kyung grew curious about the outside. Quietly, he got up and sat on the sofa by the window. His bandaged foot was uncomfortable, so he sat cross-legged, placing his injured foot on his thigh.The stiff bandage was quite heavy. He thought it would be much easier to walk without it. He tried to tear off the bandage, slipping his fingers through the gap below his knee, but quickly gave up. He realized he couldn’t do it alone. Exhausted, he propped his weak arms on the windowsill and leaned forward.It was late, and being so high up, no people were visible. He only saw a few cars speeding down the road. One, two, three. Tens of cars passed by. Sung-kyung gradually lost interest. His eyes, dark like the night, swept over the distant park and apartments. Then, he noticed a familiar building in the distance.“…I thought it was close.”He vaguely recalled running there barefoot, wearing slippers. He couldn’t remember why or for what reason he had gone there alone. He only remembered the gray building and fence that seemed unreachable no matter how much he ran, until he finally arrived and met Chungrim.“Mero is quiet, so now Kim Sung-kyung is acting up every night.”Sung-kyung quickly turned his head. Chungrim was getting up, running his hand through his hair. His voice was lower and huskier, having just woken up.Sung-kyung silently watched Chungrim. His hair had grown long, covering his eyes and poking beneath them. Despite having done this for two years, he could still watch him without blinking an eye.“Not hearing anything tonight?”“No, I can’t hear anything.”A breathy laugh reached his ears. Although Chungrim’s breath didn’t touch him, his whole body itched. Sung-kyung scratched his thigh under the shirt he was wearing.At some point, Sung-kyung had stopped wearing a gown and was wearing a shirt instead. It was large and comfortable, likely Chungrim’s. He had rolled up the sleeves several times, and beneath his wrist, the chain was wrapped tightly like a bracelet. It had replaced the watch Chungrim had given him before.Unlike the watch strap, the chain was cold and uncomfortable. Sung-kyung shook his wrist slowly, but all he heard was the twisting sound, with no sign of it coming loose.“Are you trying to sneak out again? Where are you planning to go this time?”Sung-kyung looked up at the sudden close voice. Chungrim was shirtless, only wearing pants, and the moonlight highlighted the contours of his torso.Sung-kyung struggled to tear his eyes away from Chungrim’s solid chest and looked up at him. As he glanced at Chungrim’s face, which was staring blankly out the window, Chungrim tilted his head to the side and looked at him.“I’m not going anywhere.”When their eyes met, Sung-kyung felt as if he were dreaming, his surroundings floating hazily. The pleasure he had first felt two years ago was still the same. He feared that if he closed his eyes, everything would disappear like an illusion, so he kept them open until his eyes reddened.“A broken toy is finished once you let go.”“…”“Why fix it and keep playing with it?”Chungrim’s words were faint, making it hard to tell if he was talking to himself or to Sung-kyung. So, Sung-kyung just listened to the low voice without responding.“Isn’t that right?”Sung-kyung slowly nodded. Chungrim chuckled. Idiot. Nodding without even knowing what it means.Chungrim’s eyes lingered on Sung-kyung, scanning his tousled black hair, pale skin, dark eyes, the mole beneath them, countless scars and bruises, his foolishly parted lips, and his frail body struggling even with just a shirt on.“……”His cheeks, which looked like a mix of blue and green paint, were now glowing with life. Good things happened when he behaved well. He didn’t have to sweat in the heat, get hit, or get scolded for sneaking glances. It was okay for him to blush when he looked at him.Sung-kyung swallowed dryly as he watched Chungrim’s lips curve crookedly. It was okay to smack his lips like a pervert because Chungrim had kissed him first. Chungrim liked him.Sung-kyung smiled slyly, lowered his gaze, and peeled off a sticker. He then started sticking it in the right places. One on the edge of the drawer, where it wouldn’t be seen, and one under the windowsill hammock where Mero lay. He hesitated for a moment before sticking one on Mero’s toy stick, as he couldn’t attach it to the fur.After sticking all the stickers, he returned to his spot between the sofa and the window, under Mero’s cat tower.Chungrim, who had approached unnoticed, knelt in front of Sung-kyung. He gently brushed the sticker Sung-kyung had placed on the toy stick. The part of the letter “r” where the ink had bled was smeared, but it didn’t matter.“Move quietly so they don’t notice.”Chungrim replied indifferently to someone over the phone, then immediately grabbed the back of Sung-kyung’s head. As the pulling force increased, their lips met. The sound of someone talking on the phone tossed on the sofa could be heard, but no one paid any attention.Chungrim sucked on Sung-kyung’s lips, as if to lick all the blood from the thin skin that was pressed and burst. The sound of saliva grew louder, and only when their breathing became labored did the voice on the phone fade away.His fingers dug into the back of Sung-kyung’s head. Sung-kyung twisted his head in sync with Chungrim’s rough sucking on his tongue.Though he no longer heard hallucinations, Sung-kyung still woke up at dawn. He felt as if his body was sinking deep under the bed. After enduring the strange sensation for a while, he quietly got up and went under the bed.Lately, he spent most of his time in this room. He moved his notebook to the spot under the bed where his hand could easily reach it. After Chungrim fell asleep, it became a habit to pull out the hidden notebook and scribble in it.He thought it was fortunate that the chain was on his left hand instead of his right, as it would have made noise while he wrote. Glancing back repeatedly, Sung-kyung confirmed Chungrim’s eyes were closed. The lines on the notebook were hard to see in the darkness, but he managed by burying his head and focusing on the pen tip.Every time they kissed, Chungrim would bite his lower lip and rub it with his tongue. The hot, soft tongue moving inside his mouth was overwhelming enough to make his jaw ache. It was like when he bit his brother’s lower lip. When he tried to follow by sticking out his tongue, Chungrim would lightly suck on it with his lips. Chungrim’s saliva stayed on his lips. His tongue seemed to linger inside him.Sung-kyung pressed his lower lip inward and sucked on it while writing forcefully. He wanted to swallow all of Chungrim’s remaining saliva and body heat.Walking wasn’t difficult anymore. The bandage had been changed, and he wondered if Chungrim had done it. Did he care if Sung-kyung was in pain? Did he worry?He wrote a question mark and quickly turned his head. Chungrim shifted slightly, placing an arm over his forehead. Sung-kyung waited for his chest to rise and fall evenly before picking up the pen again.Chungrim hadn’t done this with the other tenants. Who would live with and share a bed with a debtor? Chungrim definitely knew the answer. Even an idiot like Sung-kyung knew it, so there was no way Chungrim didn’t. They had sex twice today and kissed over five times. His chest hurt from Chungrim sucking so hard, but Chungrim seemed to like it. It was like he wanted to eat all the bugs. Chungrim said it was okay, even though bugs might get transferred. That must mean he liked him that much.Sung-kyung’s lips curled into a sly smile. Chungrim knew the answer but pretended not to. It was certain.Yes. Chungrim’s eyes said he liked him. Sung-kyung knew it.Pressing the period hard, Sung-kyung covered his mouth. For two years, he had only watched Chungrim. Chungrim had taken all the emotions that had grown in the Red Mansion: admiration, envy, jealousy, and interest. Finally, he had become special to Chungrim. He was overjoyed by that fact. If he were still in Room 422, he would have babbled the happy news to his lying father and mother. But there was no one left to listen.“……”His eyes, which had been lowered, were raised. The sky outside the large window was pitch black. Mother, I told you before, didn’t I? This person seems to think I’m special. I was right. Sung-kyung’s reflection in the dark glass was smiling.He picked up the pen again. He was worried because his memory had become blurry and hazy lately. He feared forgetting the things that happened with Chungrim. That was something he could never let happen.Chungrim doesn’t dry his hair completely after showering. He only dries it enough to feel damp. After washing, he drinks a cup of water. He smokes often but never drinks alcohol. He sneaked a peek in the refrigerator and found not a single can of beer. Chungrim doesn’t seem to like alcohol.After filling a page with trivial details, Sung-kyung put down the pen. He slipped the pen into the notebook’s spring, closed it, and crawled back toward the bed. He took the trouble to hold the chain to prevent it from making noise.He shoved the notebook deep under the side where he slept. Then he climbed onto the bed, wiggling his bandaged toes. Moving like this caused pain near his calf. Confirming he still had feeling, he covered himself with the blanket.He lay on his side, facing Chungrim. He wanted to remove the arm covering Chungrim’s face but left it alone, fearing he might wake him. Blinking quietly, he watched Chungrim until he fell asleep. That was the end of Kim Sung-kyung’s day. His routine had drastically changed from when he lived in Room 422.“……”Half a turn of the minute hand later, Chungrim, who seemed to be sleeping without moving, removed his arm and turned his head. Sung-kyung, lying toward him, was breathing evenly. Chungrim rubbed his bloodshot eyes, unable to sleep deeply. Watching Sung-kyung had become a habit, leading to sleepless nights.A large hand covered Sung-kyung’s face. Even when a finger tapped his lower lip, Sung-kyung didn’t flinch or open his eyes. Chungrim slowly got up, and as he pulled back the blanket, the cool air from the air conditioner hit his bare body.The damp, sticky monsoon season had ended, and the hot summer was passing. Autumn was near, but Chungrim hadn’t turned off the air conditioner. He usually didn’t leave it on so long. Was it because there was one more person, or was Sung-kyung’s presence simply that warm? He couldn’t turn it off because he felt too hot.Chungrim easily knelt and pulled out the notebook hidden under the bed. He hadn’t known Sung-kyung was hiding it there. He discovered it while reviewing camera footage to see what Sung-kyung might have done while he dozed off.It seemed Sung-kyung diligently wrote in it, thinking Chungrim would never see it. Stealing a peek at his thoughts every dawn was quite entertaining. Chungrim took the notebook to the living room. Writing in the dark, how could he do that? The fool was definitely not in his right mind. He opened the notebook under indirect lighting.Even seeing notes about his actions and habits didn’t give him the creeps. What stood out more were the crooked letters from writing in the dark. He considered turning on the light in the room, but that would spoil the fun, so he left it alone.Chungrim’s eyes say he likes me. I know it.Sung-kyung pressed the pen hard while writing this part. Each stroke was filled with certainty. Did he really like Sung-kyung? He didn’t think so. Actually, he wasn’t sure what it meant to like someone. It was hard to find a reason to like that rustic kid.So why was Sung-kyung so sure? A feeling he hadn’t even fully understood himself.“……”Looking closely, Kim Sung-kyung had a knack for wielding his innocent and clear face to manipulate others. He’d always been like that. Sneakily peering through his hair to get under your skin, behaving like a madman, making it impossible to look away.“Shut up.”Chungrim’s head snapped around viciously. The sound of sobbing from inside deepened the furrow between his brows. Here we go again. Just when he thought it had been a quiet week. He hurriedly closed the notebook and stood up from the sofa.The sound of chains rattled briefly from inside, then stopped. As he opened the door and turned on the light, he saw Kim Sung-kyung crouched next to the door, which was as far as he could move. The chain was taut. Following the chain, he saw Sung-kyung’s back trembling and muttering something.“Seemed quiet for a change.”Chungrim crouched down. Sweat had already gathered on Sung-kyung’s forehead, who was trembling, eyes shut tight, hands over his ears. The room was so cool and quiet. How hot and noisy must Kim Sung-kyung’s world be?“Hey.”He brushed the sweaty bangs aside. They were so long they completely covered his eyes again. He looked very much like he did when he was sitting at the counter of Red Mansion convenience store 3. It seemed it was time for another haircut. Chungrim decided he would deal with this wretched hair tomorrow afternoon.“…No, no…”Whose voice was he hearing this time? Chungrim draped his arm over his knee, watching Sung-kyung.“Kim Sung-kyung.”“It’s not…wrong…”“Who am I?”At that, Sung-kyung cautiously lifted his eyes. Chungrim tilted his head, meeting the terrified gaze. Sung-kyung started mumbling as if trying to explain himself.“Hey, I-I delivered…the medicine properly…”He raised his hand to grab Sung-kyung’s shoulder. Sung-kyung flinched, pressing his hands over his ears harder and curling up. Chungrim gritted his teeth, suppressing a curse.“Are you avoiding me?”“N-now, with…with the same lame…leg….are you happy?”Chungrim’s bare chest rose and fell heavily. Fuck, now it’s the lame-legged junkie? His uneven breathing was forcibly calmed, a few more times.“Hey. Look at me.”He roughly knocked Sung-kyung’s arms aside and grabbed his wet cheek. His fingertips pressed into the soft skin.“Do you think this is good?”“Who am I?”His dark eyes showed no sign of coming back from beyond Chungrim’s shoulder. Frustration flared up inside him. Damn it, he’s asking for it. He slapped Sung-kyung’s pale cheek. He held back his strength, so his lip didn’t split again. Sung-kyung’s head whipped to the side.“Who am I?”“……”His thin shoulders trembled for a long time, his head taking a while to come back to its place. Chungrim could understand Sung-kyung’s nightly fits to some extent. What he couldn’t stand was the fact that he never appeared in those delusions.Always his father, mother, or that old doctor. Or the lame junkie, never anyone else. That grated on him. Despite acting like he was everything to him, Sung-kyung never thought of him unconsciously.“Maybe another hit will get through? Huh? Will that clear your head?”Chungrim forced Sung-kyung’s head up to meet his gaze. His cold smile was nothing but chilling, but finally, Sung-kyung’s eyes began to move. They wandered over Chungrim’s face and then widened. His cracked lips slowly curved upward.“Huh?”Sung-kyung smiled brightly, as if overjoyed. Chungrim watched silently as his innocent, childlike smile spread. Something hot surged in his throat. As Chungrim’s throat bobbed, Sung-kyung kept smiling brightly.“…Kwon Chungrim.”Even if he went mad, as long as he remembered him, and even if he broke, as long as he recognized him, it was enough. But when faced with the unstable, broken Sung-kyung, anger welled up. It was a rage he didn’t know where to direct. Chungrim irritably ran his hand through his hair.Feeling like he was finally safe, Kim Sung-kyung carefully grabbed Chungrim’s wrist, which was gripping his cheek.“Did you drive them away?”“……”“I didn’t think…you’d really come. Chungrim hyung. Kwon Chungrim…”Idiot Kim Sung-kyung repeated his name, smiling. Chungrim shut him up, pressing their lips together. He bit and sucked on Sung-kyung’s lower lip before hurriedly shoving his tongue inside.Finally, the idiotic muttering stopped. He felt relieved.＊＊＊Was he seventeen at the time? Some lowlife thugs had wandered into Red Mansion. They would torment their peers endlessly. Though Sung-kyung was busy working at the laundromat by day and washing dishes at the restaurant by night, rarely crossing paths with them.But Red Mansion was a small place, and people of the same age tended to stick out more. Being around the same age and the son of the convenience store owner, Sung-kyung became their prime target.“Hey, bring some cigarettes. We’ll pay you.”Two thugs followed Sung-kyung as he carried two knee-high trash bags. Red marks formed on his fingers from the strain. After shaking his hands off, Sung-kyung opened his palms.“Give it to me first.”“It’s upstairs, upstairs. Damn, we live on the 5th floor.”