Red Tape

“Oh my! Liam! What’s wrong with your face?”

Mary looked surprised at Liam sitting across from her and set down the spoon she had picked up.

There are dark shadows under Liam’s eyes. It’s as if she is looking at herself when she had stayed up three nights reading a popular novel about a serious love affair between a man and a woman for the first time in her life.

“You couldn’t sleep?”

“…yes.”

Liam had been wetting his underwear for the past few days. Waking up with a sticky feeling between legs and washing his underwear in the morning was more painful than he thought.

I thought I could not take it anymore, so I tried not to sleep at all yesterday. However, due to the warmth of the fireplace, I fell asleep without realizing it, and when I awoke to the first rooster’s crow, the area between my legs, like always, was wet and sticky.

The person who appeared in his dreams was always the same.

The first day, Erwin was just sitting in the bathtub, and I dreamed about him like a flashback.

The next day, I was sitting in the bathtub with Erwin, washing his body with my own hands. I held his wrist and rubbed his flawless smooth arms with a soft sponge.

And yesterday…

I licked the water droplets that slid down from his nape to his shoulders with my tongue.

I did not dream of anything other than his nape, shoulders, and slender arms. That was all Liam had actually seen. It was natural that he couldn’t imagine or dream of something he had never seen.

To make fun of a noble being whose face he shouldn’t even dare look at. Even if it was a dream, it is hard to forgive myself.

Liam is internally upset. It is hard to look straight at the master’s face, so he purposely sticks to doing things outside the mansion. He took care of the hunting grounds and helped the gardener and carpenter.

But it is something that could not be avoided forever.

“To celebrate the return of the young master, a ball will be held in five days. The Duke said he would return on the same day, so let’s prepare thoroughly.”

Jeffrey distributed the work to all the servants, and Liam helped organize the banquet hall.

While everyone is excited and thrilled, Liam’s face is filled with worry. It is because he thinks he might run into the young master while working in the mansion.

Liam is trembling with anxiety like a child about to be caught doing something bad.

Although Lord had often hosted dinner parties, this was the first time a ball had been held since Liam had come.

“I think Viscountess Motier had insisted.”

Mary, who is well-versed in noble gossip, whispered to the maid sitting next to her.

During the ten years that she pretended to be the mistress of this house, Eloise constantly lured the duke into her bed. However, she failed to have an heir.

It seems clear that there is something wrong with the duke. That must have been why it took five years for him to have Erwin in the first place.

The duke kept delaying his answer to Eloise, who was urging him to remarry. It is unnecessary for the duke to take in a new duchess since he is not going to have an heir anyway.

Meanwhile, Eloise, who has passed the fertile age, is satisfying her greed with other things. She bought beautiful jewels and dresses with the duke’s money as a way to vent her anger and attended splendid balls.

Eloise, who was looking for an excuse to hold a grand ball, persuaded the duke. She said that they should hold a ball to celebrate Erwin’s return.

She wanted to show the socialites who looked down on her as a swindler who lived in other people’s homes.

Even though she couldn’t become a duchess, she had the power to throw a ball of her own accord.

The banquet hall of the Calliwell Mansion is more than enough to satisfy her vanity.

The banquet hall, one of the largest and most beautiful in the empire, is at its peak of splendor.

It is beautifully decorated with collections of paintings and sculptures, and the ceiling is painted with sacred-looking frescoes. And in the center of the domed ceiling hung an enormous crystal chandelier.

Liam is assigned to clean the chandelier. The banquet hall is so tall that even if you climbed up a ladder, the crystals hanging from the chandelier would still be quite high, so Liam, who is tall and strong, is the perfect person for the job.

Liam placed the ladder under the chandelier, climbed up, and cleaned the crystals with a soft cloth.

Meanwhile, the maids who had come carrying buckets were diligently sweeping and cleaning the floor. They couldn’t allow even the slightest bumps so that the dancers’ feet wouldn’t get caught.

Liam can hear the conversations they are having while mopping.

They are all making a fuss about wanting to be maids. It is because they could see the splendid scenes of the ball from up close.

“The crown prince might come.”

“I’ll be able to see the young master dance.”

Liam’s hands, which had been moving busily, stopped. His mindset became firm.

No matter what, he is determined to see the young master’s waltz. Even if it meant sneaking into the ballroom.

At that time, Erwin is staring blankly at his face in the mirror hanging on the wall in front of the sink.

“A ball.”

Things got worse. My return was not something worth throwing a ball for, but now that all the invitations had been sent out, he didn’t have the courage to tell the truth.

He closed his eyes tightly to suppress his emotions, but the vivid scenes stuck to the inside of his eyelids would not go away.

***

What made things hardest for Erwin at Saint-Bernoulli was not the rules that forced him to worship and obey, the corporal punishment that was cleverly carried out so as not to show it on the outside, or his longing for home.

It was none other than Francis Hervey Sozo, who lived in the next room to Erwin’s, who became his friend and visited him every day.

He was a timid person who complained a lot but could not say harsh words to anyone openly. Every day, he would lie down on Erwin’s bed and cry.

“I want to go home …”

St. Bernoulli, which is difficult to enter and even more difficult to graduate from, has become a symbol of intelligence, perseverance, and strength.

Francis, the eldest of six brothers, said he came here of his own accord to raise the family’s honor.

Life here was never easy. The two who shared a room next to each other with only one wall between them became close because they felt a sense of empathy for each other, and Erwin also comforted Francis when he was upset at first and patted him on the back.

“It’s called Baden Hall. It’s our country house. In the summer, we used to have family dinners in the garden. My parents and the six of us would all gather together and laugh and chat. I can still hear the loud noises in my ears.”

“That must have been nice.”

“Yes. Mrs. Garcia, the housekeeper, made good cider, and when I was fifteen, my father would secretly give me a glass of it without my mother knowing. At first, I threw it up right after drinking it.”

“Really?”

“Your father poured you your first drink, too, right?”

“… .”

“Erwin, why don’t you talk about yourself?”

As time passed, Francis’s homesickness grew worse and worse. Francis kept talking about how beautiful his hometown was, how much the family he left behind was filled with love, and how much he missed home.

“I’m so tired I could die… . I want to go home… . There’s an autumn festival at Baden Hall around this time… . When I was little I used to ride on my father’s horse and watch puppet shows… .”

At some point, Erwin couldn’t stand those sweet apple scents and stories filled with laughter.

In fact, Erwin didn’t have the time or the heart to listen to Francis’s complaints. He kept leaking information about the second prince, Felix, to his father.

In the end, someone who was supposedly sent by his father secretly delivered tea leaves to him, telling him to recommend Prince Felix. They were highly addictive and had severe side effects.

Even though my self-esteem was at rock bottom, I couldn’t fall that far. Besides, Prince Felix, who I saw from the side, was the perfect lord, unlike the profligate Archibald.

The reason he was sent to study abroad in the impoverished Saint-Bernoulli of Grantaire was to prevent the conflicts that kept occurring between the two countries.

Erwin, in distress, let the tea leaves his father had sent drift into the river.

Erwin was disgusted by Francis, who whined about how difficult the training was, how scary the punishment was, and how he missed home. When he was suffering from anguish and unknown pain.

He has a beautiful home to return to and a family waiting for him. He has the freedom to return whenever he wants.

“I want to go home… .”

“Stop! Please…shut up.”

“Uh, Erwin?”

“No one can live without enduring that much weight!”

“In that case, it would be better for you to go back to Baden Hall or whatever!”

Erwin avoided Francis after that. Not only did he not want to hear his grumbling anymore, but he was also ashamed of himself for not being able to hold it in and for exploding in a shameless, loud voice.

Francis, who tried to talk to Erwin several times, kept turning away without being able to say anything, and at some point, he stopped approaching him.

Erwin thought it was fortunate.

He no longer had to listen to Francis brag about things he didn’t have.

Then one day, Francis committed suicide.

Erwin was the first to find him.

He was smiling as he hung himself. It was as if he could see the rose garden of Baden Hall that he had longed for.

***

After that, Erwin submitted his resignation, packed his bags, and returned to Glassdale.

He had resigned, not taken a leave of absence because he had no intention of ever returning to Saint-Bernoulli.

But he hadn’t told the Duke yet, and he probably thought Erwin would return after the vacation.

If the truth came out, it wouldn’t end with a few blows.

Shaa.

Erwin, who had been washing his face with cold water in the sink, raised his head.

His face, dripping with water droplets, is reflected in the mirror. It is the face of a runaway and a loser who could neither properly rebel nor obey.

Erwin wiped the moisture from his face and left the room. Whenever he is alone in a closed space, he often thinks of Francis. His two feet are stepping into the wind.

They say time erases everything, but how many years will it take to forget that image?

Erwin, who was frantically walking do

wn the stairs and the hallway in search of the warmth of others, heard a high-pitched voice like a bird chirping beyond the thin wall as he neared the banquet hall.

“Liam. I like you.”