Redoing My Life (Modern Family)

With the principal photography for Batman Begins moving to the UK, I found myself visiting regularly. My recent visit was my longest stretch here yet.

There had been some grumbling from the studio about Nolan not wanting a secondary crew in the US to handle scenes while he was in the UK, but thankfully, those concerns were quickly snuffed out.

We were now at Mentmore Towers, which would serve as Wayne Manor. It was our first day shooting here, and we were all on a lunch break. I was seated across from Nolan at a long, rustic table in one of the side rooms of Mentmore Towers. I'd made the mistake of ordering food that I thought was exotic and now severely regretted it.

"I am convinced that the entire island still believes it's under siege by Germans," I said, looking disdainfully at my plate.

"Oh come on, Daniel. You're just being unfair. The food's not that bad. Look at what you're eating—it's perfectly fine," Nolan said, glancing at my plate.

I pointed my fork at it. "I thought I was ordering some exotic English dish. This looks like it's just whatever you guys found lying around in the pantry. Cheese, bread, and a pickle? This is what they serve prisoners, right?"

Nolan looked at me, his expression amused. "It's a traditional ploughman's lunch. What did you expect?"

"First of all, you Americans just don't get the subtlety of English cuisine. And second, this food isn't bad. I'm having chicken tikka masala—a very famous British dish—and it's delicious," Nolan said, taking a bite.

I looked at Nolan's plate and smirked. "Chris, that's literally Indian food."

"No, it's Scottish," Nolan countered, trying to keep a straight face.

"Exactly. Still not English. Come on, man, the best dish you could think of to prove your point is from Scotland?" I said, laughing.

"It's all British, Daniel. You Americans, with your unhealthy burgers and—what do you call it—cheese in a can," Nolan said, shaking his head.

"Hey," I said, raising my fork defensively. "We Americans may have unhealthy food, but damn does it taste good."

After lunch, I took a walk around the large mansion, built by the Rothschilds 150 years ago. As I was walking, one of the production assistants approached me.

"Mr. Adler, someone is here. She claims to be your girlfriend."

"My girlfriend?" I muttered, surprised. "Where is she?" I asked.

"Right this way," the assistant said as he led me to the entrance, where, to my surprise, stood Margot.

"Surprise!" she said as she saw me.

It was indeed a surprise. I hadn't seen her for a week and a half. I was planning to leave for Miami in three days, where we were going to meet.

"What are you doing here? I thought we were going to meet up in Miami," I said, still trying to process her sudden appearance.

Margot smiled. "I wanted to surprise you, and I found a very discounted flight ticket, so I couldn't resist," she said, leaning in to give me a peck on the lips.

"Well, I'm definitely surprised," I said, grinning.

"Yay!" she said, her face lighting up.

"Well, now that you're here, how would you like a tour of this 150-year-old mansion?" I asked, gesturing to the grand surroundings.

Margot held out her arm. "Lead the way, Mr. Adler," she said playfully as we entered the mansion.

I led Margot through rooms that weren't being used by the crew. She was amazed by the architecture—the high ceilings, the intricate woodwork, the large chandeliers.

"Wow," Margot said, her voice full of wonder as she looked around. "I want to buy a place like this for myself one day… you know, once I'm rich enough."

I laughed, shaking my head. "That's going to take a lot of movies, babe."

After a while, we found ourselves in one of the largest rooms in the mansion, which, surprisingly, was more furnished than the others. Even the bed was made.

Margot and I walked in, and she pointed at the bed. "Why is the bed made? Are they using it?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't think so."

Margot walked over to the large window, looking out at the sprawling gardens below, while I walked over to the bed, inspecting it curiously. My gaze then drifted back to Margot, who was still admiring the view.

Suddenly, she turned from the window, her expression mischievous. "Well, hello, Lord Adler," she said, her voice adopting an exaggerated English accent.

I raised an eyebrow, confused but amused by her words. "What's this now?"

Margot stepped forward, still in character, her voice coy. "Oh, I'm just an innocent maid, caught stealing from the manor…" she began, her eyes wide with fake innocence. "I hope you're not going to turn me in, my lord."

I laughed, shaking my head. "You know, when I mentioned roleplaying last time, I did not expect it here of all places."

Margot continued, still in character, a sly smile on her face. "We are alone, my lord. Perhaps I could offer you something… for your silence?" she said, walking closer, her voice dropping to a whisper.

I struggled to hold in my laughter. "Not here," I said, glancing around the room.

But Margot was relentless, her smile widening as she got closer, her lips almost brushing my ear. "No one would know," she whispered, her tone teasing.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed, breaking the moment. I glanced down at the screen. It was a message informing me that they were resuming filming.

I sighed, giving Margot an apologetic smile. "Come on, we've got to get back. I'll… punish you when we get back to the hotel," I said, playfully smacking her on the ass as we walked out of the room together, her laughter echoing in the empty hall.

=====

We arrived at the set—a small library. We were going to shoot the scene where Bruce finds a bat in the manor, which ultimately leads him to discover the cave beneath it.

The Batcave itself had been built in the studio. I had seen it earlier this week, and it was very impressive—slightly different from what I remembered from the movie in my previous life, but still very well done.

Margot looked around the set, her eyes drifting over to where Nolan was talking with Jensen. "I have to be in one of his movies in the future," she said, admiration evident in her voice.

"Well, you do have that small cameo in the next movie," I said as we stood behind the cameras.

"Close enough," Margot replied with a smile.

The crew was adjusting the lighting, making sure everything was just right. I decided to move away with Margot, standing off to the side to avoid crowding the area.

Jensen was dressed in a sweater and pants for the scene, sitting on the ground as he prepared himself. The scene would have Jensen writing while sitting on the floor, before noticing a bat above him.

Alfred, played by Michael Caine—ever the professional—was already in position, holding a tea service, ready to step in for the scene.

A man arrived with a cage and carefully took out a bat from inside.

Margot wrinkled her nose and whispered to me, "Is that a real bat?"

I grinned. "Yep. Nolan likes to keep things as real as possible."

Margot crossed her arms, clearly not a fan of the little creature fluttering above. "That's so gross. Can't they use, I don't know, CGI or something?"

I laughed softly, shaking my head. "Nolan's all about practical effects. Real bats, real danger. Authenticity."

"I'm just saying, if that thing swoops down, I'm out of here," she said, her eyes glued warily to the bat.

"Alright, we're going to go again from the top," Nolan called out, his voice carrying across the set. "Let's keep the bat moving around near the ceiling and make sure the shadow hits Jensen at the right moment."

After everyone was in position, Nolan asked, "Everyone in place? Alright then… Action."

The camera rolled. Jensen, as Bruce, was sitting on the ground, surrounded by books and newspaper cutouts, researching. He heard fluttering sounds and looked up, following the flickering shadow of the bat as it flitted across the ceiling.

"A blessed bat again, sir," Michael Caine, as Alfred, said off-screen.

Jensen turned smoothly, just as the camera panned over to reveal Michael Caine standing there with a tea service.

"They nest somewhere on the grounds," Michael said.

The bat circled once more. Jensen watched it flutter around, completely in character. But just as Michael Caine was about to finish his line, the bat suddenly swooped lower, startling half the crew—and definitely Margot.

"Nope, nope, nope, this is the worst," Margot whispered to me, clearly terrified.

I held back a chuckle as Nolan calmly called out to reset the scene. The bat's movements had been a little too chaotic.

"Alright, reset! Let's get the bat to stay higher. We want more shadow, less swooping, please," Nolan said.

The animal handler, clearly used to this, gently coaxed the bat back into position while the crew adjusted the lights.

"If that thing comes near me, I swear I'm making a run for it," Margot said, her eyes still on the bat.

I laughed. "Come on, where's your sense of adventure? You might have to deal with animals in one of your future movies."

Margot huffed, clearly unconvinced.

The scene was set up again, and the second take was much smoother. The bat fluttered high, its shadow cast perfectly across the grand library's ceiling. Jensen, with a slight frown, watched the movement as Michael Caine delivered his line again, this time without a hitch.

"They nest somewhere on the grounds," Michael said.

"Cut! That's the one," Nolan said, satisfied.

The crew began to relax, some even clapping lightly. Jensen and Michael both smiled as they moved off-camera, happy with the take.

"Thank God, it's over. I was starting to worry that bat was going to dive-bomb us," Margot said, clearly relieved.

"You survived," I said, placing a reassuring hand on her.

The crew started to set up for the next scene. The bat was carefully returned to its trainer, who carried it away to a cage in the corner.

"So now that's over, maybe we could go back to that room," Margot said, smiling wickedly.

I sighed. "There are people here," I said, trying to sound serious.

Margot pouted slightly. "Well, blame me for missing you and not seeing you for almost two weeks."

I looked at her and then made the decision, grabbing her hand. "Let's discuss your punishment," I said as we sneaked away to the room, her stifled laughter trailing behind us as we moved through the old halls.

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