Reincarnated as a sex god in another world (I’m Immortal)

(AN: Hi guys :) nothing else to say, just wanted to say hi :)

So anyways, the micropenis dude’s underlings came as expected. However, I didn’t really think they’d come since the inn’s owner seemed like a person who was all bark and no bite. Plus, I really enjoyed fucking his mom. His mom was like my maid all those years back, she orgasmed like three gazillion times but didn’t even pass out. 

The micropenis dude’s minions broke into the room I was staying in and started attacking me, not even giving me time to cultivate.

I could only desperately dodge, trying to think of a way to get past this predicament.

I was still at 0 cultivation levels, while the micropenis dude’s underlings were Qi Gathering cultivators. I couldn’t fight back at all.

Also, just as they broke in, the inn’s owner’s mom exploded from orgasming too much and ascended to heaven, so I couldn’t use her to distract the enemy cultivators to give me time to cultivate.

It looked like this was the end of the line. 

I was the main character, though. There was no way I was going to die here to some random side character’s underlings. It made absolutely zero sense.

But then again, the author I had was… I couldn’t even insult the author even if I wanted to.

I hated this, but I guess this was my life now.

Anyways, the author I had was unorthodox. He would’ve probably offed my head and made someone else the main character if not for the fact that my name, Lys Ultima, was the same as the author’s.

I probably had less plot armor than I thought, so I couldn’t rely on just running through the underlings and hoping they’d all trip on something and miss.

Just in case, I asked the system if I could do just that.

[No. Neither will a book fall from the heavens and crash through the roof and hit the third underling to the left, causing him to be instantly knocked unconscious, making him drop his sword on the second underling, which would make him yelp out in pain, sufficiently distracting everyone so you could escape. That will not happen.]

I sighed. It would be nice for a few more books to fall from the sky, but I guess that joke, if it even was one, was overused by now.

I had to find some other way to escape.

Just then, my eyes lit up. Thinking about books falling from the sky reminded me about the one book I had on hand.

“Hey dude,” I said to one of the underlings, “Look at this!”

I tossed the Secret Technique Manual of the Secret Ten-Thousand Myriad Heavenly Dao Buddhist Sect to the dude, and he looked at it. The other underlings took a peek at it and they were all stunned.

Any man would instantly recognize that book as prime-grade treasure. When they turned back to me, they all had looks of worship as they stared at my sexy body.

“Bro! We pledge our lives to you for giving us this heavenly treasure!” the micropenis dude’s—no, my—underlings said in unison.

To be continued.

(AN: Next chapter is the long awaited battle between the micropenis dude and the main character!!!!!)