Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

[Edward POV]

"So, how much will you be paying me for the interview?" I asked Tara teasingly, though I acted as if I were serious.

We were sitting on the couch, with Tara diagonally across from me, while Enid and Haley stood by the living room, watching the interview from afar. Tara didn't want them to disturb the interview, so they had been kicked out from her 'set' and asked to keep quiet.

Taken aback by my question, Tara placed her notebook down and stammered, "P-Pay? We never discussed…um, any– any payment…"

"We are discussing it now," I said seriously. With a smug look, I said, "I mean, my last interview sold for 40 million dollars, resurrected Conan's talk show, boosted both Taylor's and my careers, and even got some billionaires to send me gifts after they heard about my story."

Tara smiled in disbelief, her mouth slightly dry. "Ummm…"

"Now… I agreed to do the interview with you. I don't expect the same compensation as the previous one, but I don't want to walk away empty-handed." I paused to let her think.

Haley rolled her eyes, aware that I was playing around with Tara, who looked quite helpless.

Enid raised her hand, trying to say something. I turned to her and pointed out, "Yes, the sister."

"Don't call me 'the sister,'" Enid shot back, giving me a dirty look, though she couldn't maintain a straight face. "I just want to ask if you have something in mind," Enid said, trying to help her sister and wanting to see the interview.

Tara widened her eyes slightly in realization and turned to Enid, snapping her fingers at the same time. "Yeah, thank you, sis." She turned back to me and asked, "What do you want?"

"What can I get? I'm not the one who's supposed to think about that. You should. You're the one who wants this interview," I replied while sitting cross-legged.

"Alright, I see where this is going," Tara mumbled in exasperation, slowly unbuttoning her shirt. "Will this be enough?" she asked, displaying her white undergarment. She batted her eyes at me and said, "Um, then after the interview is over, I can stay behind–"

Haley and Enid fumed. Haley scolded, "Bitch, button it back up. That's not even funny."

"I'm not interested in your A-cup," I said teasingly. "Also, do you really think that will suffice?"

Tara looked offended. "You know what? In one of the questions I want to ask you, I was going to ask about your sexuality. I don't have to ask that anymore now that I know you're gay."

"It's not gay to not be attracted to a man's chest," I shot back, which made Tara gasp wildly in disbelief. "A man!? A MAN!?"

"Sup, Edward! Don't mind me, I just need to get something," Max suddenly walked in, heading straight to the kitchen from behind me, so I hadn't seen her yet. Wearing a push-up bra and a tight, low-cut top, Tara's eyes were glued to Max's chest as she rummaged through the fridge.

I looked at Max in disbelief. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm hungry! I think I left half a croissant back here," Max shouted. As I watched her, I asked with confusion, "Did you just get back from selling your body on Figueroa's streets?"

That was the neighborhood where prostitution is rampant. Basically, I was calling her a hooker. 

Max closed the fridge with her leg, holding basically everything in her hands. "I'm meeting with someone later," she said, slightly embarrassed.

"A John or a date?" I teased.

"A date, but when I'm done with him, he's going to wish he had money to pay me," Max snorted, chuckling as she left the house.

After Max left, I turned back to Tara, who was still in shock. "Still want to argue that I'm gay and not accept your own shortcomings after seeing that?"

"Never mind!" She accepted her fate instantly. I snickered and said, "I'm just messing with you. Just ask what you want to ask."

"No. I don't want to ask you anything now." Tara sulked, not wanting to continue the interview any longer. Her expression made me laugh. I thought of something then I said, "Well, if I were you, I would stop the interview right now anyway. It's not the right timing yet."

"Huh? Why is that?" Tara raised her eyebrow. Haley and Enid were both curious to hear my defense. Enid asked, "What's about her timing?"

Haley asked, putting her index finger on her chin, "Should she do something else first before conducting the interview?"

Tilting my head lazily and resting my head on my right hand, I said calmly, "Don't misunderstand, I said if 'I were her'. I have no intention of teaching you anything, for free."

"Again, I can do this." Tara unbuttoned her shirt again, but Haley approached her and grabbed her hand to stop her. Haley looked at Tara angrily and turned to me again, changing her expression into a smile, "Ed, don't speak in riddles. I know you're dying to let it all out anyway."

I laughed in amusement and said, "My therapist told me to stop trying to add on responsibility for myself, so I'm not going to do anything anyway."

Enid waved the topic off and tried to defend me, "If he doesn't want to say it, then that's his choice."

Tara narrowed her eyes sharply and said, "I'll offer you both my friend and myself. "

Haley darted her eyes between Tara and me as we locked eye contact and asked, "What exactly is going on here?"

I chuckled and replied, "I'll do this only once, but remember, once you get inside my mind, there's no turning back. It might destroy what's left of your childhood, but it will also lead you to amazing wealth."

"Question: will it make us as stressed out as you are?" Haley interjected.

"Yeah, definitely. You will be stressed out." I nodded easily as Haley giggled. "Then I don't really want to know," Tara said, pulling out her notebook.

"As the representative of a school paper, I have to ask you a few questions that pertain to that."

"Okay, shoot." I leaned back and relaxed as the interview began. "The last time you went to school, it was for the SATs. What do you think your SAT result will be?"

"Top nationwide," I replied curtly.

"Next question: why are you still single?" Tara asked casually. Slightly taken aback, I said, "That question is important for the school paper?"

"Yes," Tara answered seriously. Haley looked baffled, glancing between her friend and me with interest.

Enid was also intrigued by the topic. I huffed slightly and replied, "Timing."

"What about the timing?" Tara pressed, putting more pressure on me.

"Bad timing for me to start a relationship now or to ask someone out."

"But you do have someone you want to ask out?" Tara didn't let me take a moment and instantly shot her next question.

"No comment." I grinned.

"Um, I'm sorry. I have to get an answer for the school paper." Tara smirked as she tapped her notepad with a pen, shrugging as if to say she couldn't do anything but follow the rules. Haley grabbed her necklace and fiddled with it, pretending like she didn't want to know the answer. 

"Oh, I see. I guess the school paper should know that it's none of their business, and they should probably ask the next question if they want the interview to proceed." I hinted threateningly. 

"Moving on," Tara quickly transitioned. "How many notches do you have on your bedpost now?"

"I'm sorry, what?" I leaned in closer, baffled by that question. "How should he know how many notches are there?" Enid muttered in confusion. Even Haley looked puzzled.

Tara grinned and explained to the duo, "It means how many girls he has slept with."

"I think the school paper needs to be shut down if these are the types of questions they're asking." I rubbed my forehead tiredly.

Tara groaned, "Our school paper is mostly gossip. What kind of questions did you expect?"

I leaned forward and grabbed the notebook from her. "I don't believe these are actually questions from the—It really is a list from the school paper." My eyes widened in disbelief as I read through the questions in her book.

"What size cup do you use when playing football? Do short skirts turn you on? Which do you like better, redhead or blonde?" As I read through the list, my initial shock turned into amazement.

"Our school paper has the potential to become the greatest tabloid in the entire country," I jeered. The room fell silent for a moment until Enid broke the tension, asking, "So, do you like short skirts?"

"All men love them," I replied honestly, then slowly looked up at Tara. "You cannot quote me on any of these questions."

"Aww." Haley exclaimed in disappointment. I turned towards her with disbelief, my lips curling into a grin, "What's with the sigh?"

Haley felt embarrassed as she was caught and said, "I mean, I'm a fan of the school paper."

"I've never once seen you read anything in the 4 years I know you." Tara shot at Haley.

"I read at home okay!" Haley defended herself.

"I'm hungry." Enid suddenly complained. Tara looked at her with disbelief and said, "I told you to eat at home."

"I'll make you some sandwiches. I think we all need a little break, maybe some refreshment." I stood up and walked to the kitchen. Tara yelled, "It's only been 5 minutes!"

"Do you want a sandwich or not!?" I yelled back.

"Yes please!" Tara yelled again to reply.

After we had some finger sandwiches and drinks, Tara asked with her mouth full, "Um, if I can't ask that, Munch Munch, then can I ask whatever I want?"

"You can ask whatever, but I also have the choice to answer or not," I replied easily. We chatted for a while before everyone left. Tara didn't ask me much—only a few questions about my current projects and what was going on in my life for the school paper.

Before Haley and Tara left, Haley asked, "Oh, are you coming to the New Year's party?"

"Oh, I'll have to get back to you on that. I think Pepper is going to throw a big New Year's party, and if he does, I have to go," I told Haley as we stood by the door.

Instead of being disappointed, Haley's eyes sparkled as she asked, "A big party? You mean like celebrities, models, and all that?"

Tara was also excited and added, "Can we come?"

Slightly taken aback, I dismissed their questions, saying, "You know what? I'm going to confirm with Pepper first before telling you guys. I'm still not sure if the party is going to be kid-friendly."

Enid retorted, "Is that aimed at me?"

"Yeah, basically," I agreed easily, which annoyed Enid.

As a Christmas gift, I had given Enid a Harry Potter-style moving photograph, made with a thin LED screen that she could paste on her wall. She could program it to include other GIFs, but I suspected she had something inappropriate on it that made her blush every time I brought up the gift.

As everyone left, I returned to my room and opened up my laptop. I was reading a marketing strategy for the sim card sales, the cost of marketing, and the amount of workforce needed to handle it.

However, I was distracted by a ringing from my phone. "Yello! Did you leave something behind?" I asked Haley through the phone call.

"No. Do you want to make out?" She asked suddenly.

A little confused, I asked, "Wait, what?"

"Make out. Do you want to make out with me?" Haley asked again. "Give me a call once you're done with your work. I'll come over." Haley said before she cut the call.

My mind blanked out for a bit before I decided to do something. I opened up my social media and uploaded a post on everything I owned.

"Alright, work is done." I said before I grabbed my phone again.

…

[General POV]

"Huh, that's strange," Pepper muttered as he put down his phone on his desk. Renaldo asked in concern, "Why did Edward call you? Is there any trouble?"

"He doesn't only call me when there's trouble. Sometimes he just calls," Pepper replied, grimacing at the implication Renaldo was making.

Renaldo breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Thank god! I thought I'd have to do more work during the holiday."

Pepper furrowed his brow and said, "Edward just asked me if I'm going to throw a New Year's Eve party. Why is he asking me that?"

Renaldo looked confused. "Maybe you were supposed to do it as a boss? Isn't it a CEO's responsibility?"

Pepper propped his chin on his hand as he contemplated and asked Renaldo, "Find out if CEOs usually throw New Year's Eve parties."

Renaldo let out a long sigh, which made Pepper more frazzled. "Don't sigh! My professional image is at risk here! I need to know if I have to hold a party or not!"

Harvey suddenly walked into the office with some documents Pepper needed to sign. "What's with the yelling?"

Pepper turned to Harvey and said whiningly, "Harvey, you'll know this. Do CEOs usually throw New Year's Eve parties?"

Harvey replied casually, "It's not uncommon. Usually, Silicon Valley CEOs and companies with incredible growth…"

Pepper's eyes widened in realization as he muttered, "We had incredible growth."

Renaldo was shocked too. "Silicon Valley companies are usually tech companies. We are… um…"

"We make most of our money from software sales and tech grants," Harvey said, furrowing his brows.

Pepper suddenly slammed his hand on the table. "No wonder he called me! I forgot my huge responsibility as a CEO!"

"It'll be hard to find a venue," Renaldo paled, fearing more work. "We can throw it at my house," Pepper suggested gleefully.

Pepper's mansion sat on five acres of land, covering 55,000 square feet, which he had bought for $70 million in Beverly Hills.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Harvey said. "Employees usually know the CEO is rich, but they don't want to know how rich they actually are. It's better to find a different venue."

Crestfallen, Pepper protested, "What's the point of me buying that house then?"

"You can make your friends feel weak in the knees—realizing how they are all peasants, but definitely not your employees," Renaldo said sternly. "I'll get to work on finding a venue for the party."

"We need performers too!" Pepper said excitedly. "It would be great to hear one song from each year of this decade."

"And the original artists should perform them," Harvey added, raising the stakes and making Pepper even more enthusiastic.

"I love it—"

Before Pepper could fully react, his excitement dimmed as Renaldo interjected, "That means we need to call Britney. She's kind of the queen of the early 2000s."

Pepper bit his lip in frustration but finally decided, "Then so be it. Call Britney."

News about the CEO holding a party spread quickly throughout the entire company. Many employees were elated about the upcoming event. Pepper made attendance optional, ensuring those who didn't want to go didn't feel obligated.

Meanwhile, a buzz was happening inside the marketing department.

"He's really daring," a tall, lanky man said in disbelief as he read Edward's Twitter post.

[@EdwardNewgate: 🚨 #CallChallenge 🚨

Think my StarLink sucks? Prove it and win $100,000,000! 💰

Rules:

Confirm that you're using the line.

Must be within the American continent.

Call someone else who uses the same network provider.

Upload your test to social media and tag us!

Can you handle it? Let the challenge begin! 📞💥]

"Hundred—hundred million dollars?" Annie stammered in shock, her fingers trembling as she grasped the implication. "He—he didn't even say the first one to do it. Everyone—" Her voice broke as she continued, "Everyone who proves it will win!"

SunHee giggled madly at the post. "Oppa is really cocky. LOVE!!" She liked the post and retweeted it.

In the StarLink department, phones rang nonstop from media companies wanting to verify the validity of the challenge. News outlets began to cover the story, and various videos popped up on social media.

One video showed a fully equipped man crossing a desert.

[Location: Mojave Desert, California]

Video Caption: "Trying to outsmart Edward's challenge in the Mojave! 🌵😎 #StarLinkChallenge. 100 Million dollars is mine!"

A tanned man set up his phone on a rock, aiming the camera at himself.

"Alright, everyone! Testing my Star Link in the middle of the desert. Let's see if this works! No other networks could have any reception here. However, StarLink does have reception—still showing 4 bars. I'm going to call my pal in New York. He's using the same SIM card. Let's see if Newgate is just another cocky kid, or if StarLink is really as outstanding as he claims."

He called his friend and shouted, "Can you hear me?!"

"Why the fuck are you calling me, Josh!? I don't want anything to do with you after you fucked my sister—"

Josh quickly cut the call and said, "The call connects perfectly. Fuck… Who else can I call?"

Suddenly, a gust of wind knocked the phone over. "Fuck! I have to go back now. A sandstorm is approaching!"]

Many people participated in the challenge, and the number of users registering for the network service increased tenfold in just one day.

Participants challenged the network from places like Hawaii, deserted islands, rocky mountains, and deep within forests. Some even got lost and required search parties to rescue them. Fortunately, they could call for help, showcasing the network's capability and reliability.

As the challenge began, Starlink popularity rose up drastically, which made all other network providers feel threatened. 

They tried to lower their prices, create a challenge on their own, but no one has the same guts as Edward to offer up 100 million dollars for the prize.