REND

Amber Deen Leska

Amber Deen closed her eyes and braced for a slap. Her Guardian Angel was silent. She cautiously opened an eye and spotted a grinning Erind with a raised hand. Erind swiftly brought down her hand to Deen’s face. Deen flinched but made no effort to block. Still, no warning to evade.

Erind didn’t hit Deen. Instead, she lightly pinched her cheek.

“Your brain just turns off when you’re turned on,” Erind said, giggling at her play on words.

Deen weakly chuckled, but stopped, realizing it was inappropriate after what she had done. How sweet of Erind to make light of the situation and make Deen feel less awful. Though Erind still revealed how she thought of Deen.

“While it should be cute and all,” Erind added, “you’re actually very, very scary when you’re out of control like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Deen said again with utmost sincerity. No matter how many she repeated her apology, it wouldn’t be enough. She became even more guilty hearing that Erind was scared of her. It made her feel like she was some kind of monster.

Maybe she was.

This dark part of hers surfaced as she delved into sexual stuff with Erind. Yes, Erind was her partner. That was clear no matter how much Erind would deny it. There was something Deen wanted in their ‘relationship’ that shouldn’t have quotes because it was one—control. She wanted control over Erind.

As farfetched as it sounded, this desire was the other side of her inclination to protect Erind. It had no outlet during her ‘normal’ relationships with guys. She had never allowed it to show. That could be the reason why all her other previous relationships felt so hollow, bland, fabricated, and routine. She was just going through the motions for what was expected of her in a straight relationship. She repressed this side for so long that it was coming out all weird and twisted, and poor Erind was suffering for it.  

“If I was still a normal human,” said Erind, “you could’ve hurt me badly. I guess you did hurt me, you kinky weirdo. Good thing I have a tough body and regeneration going on.”

Deen’s face burned with embarrassment. Kinky weirdo?

She had to admit that that was what she had turned into. How did this happen? She was supposed to be a role model, but she was doing this sort of stuff with her female best friend. If this ever got out, she’d instantly evaporate from embarrassment! Her whole family was going to shun her. However, that wouldn’t be too big of a change from how they were treating her now, which was ignoring her.

I shouldn’t care about what others think, Deen told herself.

She found a friend, a best friend, a true sister in Erind. They were enjoying their time together. She was having fun with her sister, and that was all that mattered.

Sister? Deen admitted how ridiculous that sounded. If she considered Erind her sister, then what were they doing now? Some form of incest? This was just getting worse and worse in her head. She couldn’t recall how many times she was grateful that Erind didn’t have mind-reading powers. Erind’s image of Deen—super damaged as it already was—would get much, much worse if she knew Deen’s plans for her.

Deen held Erind’s hand and pressed it against her cheek, rubbing against it. So small and soft. The urge to squish cute things was ever-present. That didn’t excuse what she did, of course. It was a dangerous desire to let loose outside her mind.

“You can throw me out the window if I do something like that again,” Deen said.

“Sounds like you have a plan to do it,” said Erind. “Because you’ll probably survive the fall, so it’s not much of a consequence. That’s like doing a crime because you have money for bail, and your high-powered lawyers can get you off the hook.”

“I’m not planning anything like that! It’s just… just that I… I blacked out.” She let Erind ponder about what was left unsaid. Deen could promise all she wanted that she wouldn’t lose control but she’d surely break it.?   

Erind tilted her head. “I was wondering, just a hypothetical, what’re you going to tell Mom if you super injured me? Like, if there was blood and stuff?”

“What? Uh… we can wash your clothes and you’d regenerate—”

“Let’s say I didn’t.” Erind leaned forward. Her nose bopped Deen’s noise. “What’ll you do if you end up killing me? Will you surrender to the cops? Will you hide my body and run away?”

Deen jerked back, her thoughts in a mess. “I’m not going to do that to you, I swear!”

Erind grinned. “I’m just messing around with you. There’s this thriller movie I saw before where the main character accidentally killed his partner during sex and hid her body, making up all sorts of stories, evading the police investigators, and stuff like that. I was imagining you in that position.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Deen firmly said. She was bothered by the image that Erind stuck to her mind. Deen knew that Erind wasn’t intentionally guilt-tripping her—Erind was a fan of movies and would just randomly spout scenes she recalled—but Deen couldn’t help but be chewed by guilt. “I-I just wasn’t myself. Got carried away… I know that’s not an excuse. It might be better if we stop here now and go to sleep.”

“Stop here?” Erind pressed her fingers on Deen’s mouth. “Are you sure you want us to stop?”

Deen blinked and then shook her head.

Erind parted Deen’s lips with her fingers.

Deen opened her mouth and sucked on Erind’s fingers. Deen’s heart pounded so hard she might have a heart attack. The longing in her groin burned once again. She resisted the urge to bite Erind’s pretty little fingers. Gabe’s warnings helped bring back some of her sanity.

“Sit over there.” Erind removed her fingers and pointed at the end of the bed.

Deen wordlessly complied. She didn’t want to mess up this chance.

Erind sat on Deen’s lap and looked up at her. The doggy ears cutely flapped. Deen’s heart skipped a beat.

“This is what you want, isn’t it?” Erind coyly asked.

“Yes!” Deen quickly replied. She shouldn’t have pushed Erind tonight after hurting her, but Erind was playing along with her fantasy. This didn’t seem to be a dream.

“But you can’t touch me,” Erind said. “Just watch.”

Deen balked, her face falling. Did she hear that right? Erind looked in front of her, in the mirror. Deen faced forward as well met the gaze of Erind’s reflection and asked, “Why not?”

“Because that’s the rule.” Erind had a severely stern expression on. It was as if she fired laser eye beams that bounced off the mirror and hit Deen. “And also, your punishment. If you touch me while I’m playing with myself,” she continued, “then I’m… not going to throw you out the window. I’m just not going to talk to you… forever.”

“You can’t do that!”

“I guess I have to talk to you if there are other people around like I’ll fake it and all that. But if just the two of us, I won’t even acknowledge you. Basically, friendship over.”

Deen gulped. Erind was serious. Deen said, “I promise not to touch you.”

Maintaining eye contact with Deen, Erind reached inside her shorts with the fingers Deen had licked. Erind’s breathing became shallow and her eyes were half closed. Still, she was looking at Deen’s reflection. Deen felt saliva gather inside her mouth as if a scrumptiously presented dish was served in front of her.

Is Erind my favorite food? The answer was a definite yes. She might even put that as a motto in their yearbook if the school would allow it. Erind would probably get angry though. Or maybe, by the time they’d graduate, Erind would be completely hers.

Deen took in the image in the mirror. Erind, with her delicate frame and timid face, looked so cute sitting on her lap. The dog ears headband made Erind look more innocent. Erind’s pale face began to redden. Her mouth slightly parted. Her slight shoulders shook as she quickened touching herself.

The terrible urge to eat Erind returned. Deen clenched her jaws and balled her hands into fists, working hard to suppress it. Don’t ruin this!

Back when these feelings started cropping up, Deen thought it was just a phase of weirdness. It wasn’t. The longer she was with Erind, the stronger her feelings became. She had already gone off the deep end. And she liked what she had fallen into, this pit of degeneracy. She was going to wallow in it like a pig enjoying a mud pool. No one was going to get her out of it. There was no role model around here.

Erind was going to be hers, Deen repeated in her mind. Deen knew how bad this sounded, but she was fully committed to this goal. Call her selfish or whatever, but she never wanted anything this badly in her life.

Erind continued playing with herself, closing her eyes. Erind shifted on Deen’s lap.

Deen felt Erind’s butt on her thighs. She peeled her ears for any wet sounds. She was ashamed for doing this, but she wanted to confirm that Erind was really turned on. Erind seemed to be giving off heat, or did Deen imagine that because she wanted it to happen? The musky scent of pheromones too… Or was that her own?

The shaking was very arousing. She was tempted to grab Erind.

Deen glued her arms to her sides. She casually said, “Erind, you can lean back on me if you want a more comfy position…”