Resetting Lady

“Reverend. Reverend Dullan.”

He heard someone calling him. Dullan realized he had fallen asleep while sitting. He opened his eyes and saw Borwen, who worked at the mansion, entering.

“I’m sorry. If you were sleeping, I can come back later.”

“N-No… It’s fine.”

Borwen used to be a butcher. Compared to the number of animals he had butchered, it was only very occasionally that he butchered people as well.

His mother still had to take Dullan’s medicine to stay alive. Borwen tried to correct his behavior as much as possible, but even while quietly running errands for Dullan, he sometimes used coarse language. It was not wise to show any disarray in front of him.

Dullan stood up and looked at Borwen.

“Miss Carynne has sent a letter. She says she is currently in the capital with Miss Isella Evans. His Lordship would like to have tea with you. Will you join him?”

“…Yes.”

“Yes, very well. I will let him know you will be joining shortly. And before you go, it would be best to change your clothes. New clothes are in the wardrobe.”

“A-Alright.”

Dullan rubbed his rough, dry cheeks to clear his mind. It had been two days since he arrived at the estate, yet he still felt disoriented. He opened his eyes and looked in the mirror. A gaunt, stooped young man stared back at him.

There stood a patient, captivated by eternity.

.

.

There was only one thing he wondered.

“Of all people… Why me?”

* * *

“I heard there was a fire at the abbey. Are you alright?”

“I’m f-fine, Your Lordship.”

Dullan looked down at the tea before him, then raised his head to answer the fief lord. Even if Carynne rejected Dullan, it didn’t change the fact that he was to be the next lord of this land. His return had only been slightly delayed.

But in the meantime, various things had happened to him. From small incidents like objects disappearing and reappearing, to suddenly feeling sleepy, and almost causing a fire by falling over.

“It’s all over now.”

Dullan no longer had business at the abbey. He sipped his tea as he listened to the fief lord talk about Carynne’s departure to the capital.

The fief lord cautiously spoke as he watched out for Dullan’s reaction.

“I’m told that there’s a man she will be introducing to me soon.”

“I-I-Is that so.”

“Yes… It may not be to your liking, but I hope you will still give your congratulations.”

Dullan understood why the fief lord was speaking so cautiously. Was he worried that Dullan might think he was losing Carynne? Dullan bitterly laughed to himself. The fief lord and Catherine were gravely mistaken.

They were the ones who proposed the deal, so why were they afraid to carry it out? They found it hard to accept the process. They couldn’t treat Carynne comfortably and assumed Dullan harbored ulterior motives. Even now, the fief lord was watching him so warily just because Carynne had chosen some other man.

But why would he be angry about that?

“Of course.”

It was something to celebrate.

Whether Carynne met someone or not, it was a blessing.

Because what he had to do remained unchanged.

Because what he had been doing remained unchanged.

“So, how about we pretend the conversations with Catherine never happened?”

“I don’t quite understand what you mean.”

“I mean, stop tampering with her memory… Catherine, she…”

The fief lord’s face reddened slightly. His purpose in calling Dullan was to discuss this matter.

“I lost my wife, but I’ve also lost my daughter over the years. I don’t want to lose the only family I have left.”

Dullan rested his chin on his hand and pondered.

The fief lord’s words were meant to persuade Dullan, but they only served to strengthen his resolve. Carynne herself had said she would live again. She told this to her father.

.

.

Dullan tossed a gold coin into the air and caught it again. Clink. Clink. The coin repeatedly rose and fell in the air. Dullan thought. He had to think.

Will Carynne live again? Dullan believed she would. But the fact that she had regained her memory and yet held nothing in her hand confused him. Carynne should have been holding something. Hadn’t Catherine mentioned it?

“To be sure I will live again, first comes memory, then I can return with a mark.”

Catherine had once told Dullan.

“Whenever I die, I can start with what I held in my hand in the previous life. Something small enough to fit tightly in your palm… In my case, at first, it was a finger.”

A finger? Dullan looked at Catherine’s white, slender fingers. She lifted her hand and bent one finger. My finger. I cut it off and brought it back. It’s decayed now, so I discarded it.

“Do you know? Human fingers have patterns.”

Was she talking about the ridges on the skin of the fingertips? Dullan looked at his fingertips, but they were smooth from all the medicine he’d concocted. Later, he learned, just as Catherine had said, that everyone has unique patterns that can be used to identify individuals.

“Is it because pregnancy is the answer? If you hold a part of your body, you come back. If it’s not part of your body, the most distinct thing that remains is this.”

Catherine picked up a gold coin.

“This stays without much resistance. Other things tend to cause problems.”

“I see.”

“So, later, to check if Carynne has lived and died again, you just need to see if she’s holding something like this.”

“What if she dies without holding anything?”

Catherine poked Dullan.

“Then you can place it in her hand.”

“……”

“Even right after she dies. As long as someone puts a gold coin in her hand after she dies….”

* * *

That is why you must become a priest.

You must become the guide to her death.

* * *

Carynne wasn’t holding anything.

Could it be because this was her first life?

At first, Dullan thought so. But the fief lord’s request to leave Carynne alone made Dullan suspicious.

Carynne herself had persuaded the fief lord to let her leave the manor. And in the process, she mentioned she had lived several times.

So, why wasn’t she holding anything?

Dullan couldn’t understand why he hadn’t placed a gold coin in her hand in the past. If Carynne had died, she would surely have been holding a coin. But this time, there was nothing in her hand.

Dullan felt a growing itch in his mind. He wanted to take his brain out and organize it.

Carynne claimed to remember. Yet, there was no coin.

The coin.

Dullan thought about the object he had repeatedly considered.

Carynne was no longer at the mansion.

Could someone who had spent their entire life at the mansion, with unreliable memories, really exhibit such decisiveness? She hadn’t been gone long.

Nancy, who had been taking care of her, had reportedly run away with the money. There should have been a strong bond between Carynne and Nancy. At the very least, Carynne should have been influenced by Nancy, having taken the medicine and been cared for by her. Yet, Carynne did not return home even after Nancy fled.

Strange. So strange.

Could a person really act that way? Was Carynne indeed living again? And she’s already dating a man who she’s ready to introduce to her father?

Dullan clenched the coin tightly.

Carynne’s actions were not those of someone who had lived only one life. She did not seem like someone who had been virtually imprisoned in the mansion her entire life. Her decisiveness and resourcefulness were clear.

Dullan twisted his lips into a smile.

He also realized why his final days at the abbey had been dangerous. He now understood why things had gone missing. Carynne had ordered someone to do it. She had undoubtedly been trying to find something out from him.

This was not Carynne’s first life.

She had likely extracted some truth from him to some extent.

The past versions of himself had succeeded.

But no matter how much Carynne struggled, he had no intention of letting her go.

Dullan could feel the past versions of himself whispering from beside him.

Eternity.

Trying to escape?

From eternity to death? To eternal rest?

But she would not succeed.

No matter who it was that she chose.

Dullan stood up and began to shove items into his bag. It didn’t matter who the man was, what kind of person he was, or anything else. It didn’t matter.

Dullan’s actions would remain unchanged.

〈 End of Volume 5 〉

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