Resisting the Advances of the Ghost Girl That’s Haunting Me

I abandon all thoughts of texting. 

"Why do I have your name? That’s what I should be asking you!” 

Elise looks at me and then swiftly replies back,

No no no no! I’m clearly older between the two of us, aren’t I? I don’t know exactly when I died, but I did after maturing! You’re still a stick, a youngin’!  I had my name first, you came after!

I look up from my phone towards this ghost girl whose face looks really, really punchable right now. What’s happening? Just until a few minutes ago, she had a majestic, supernatural, ethereal feel. Now, she’s really... annoying... and what even is her point about my womanhood? That’s such a childish insult... it doesn’t bother me... at all...

Breathe, Elise, breathe. It seems the paranormal are less mature than you thought. Don’t let her get to you.

“Yes, I understand you are older and have been in this apartment for longer than I have. However, it is clearly more spooky for me, a human, to have a ghost call herself by my name."

She responds, Drama queen (；一_一)

Keep breathing, Elise, keep breathing. At least you can, the ghost can’t, haha... ha.

“Well, I see we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. That tends to happen when you live with roommates. For the future, however, I hope we maintain an amicable relationship. I am pleased to meet you formally, Elise. My name is also Elise. This is a very big coincidence, but it is a coincidence nonetheless. Let’s explore what our existences mean to each other and the state of the world together, shall we?"

With those words, I put a forced smile on my face and stick my hand out for a handshake. Elise, unblinkingly looking at my hand with her expressionless stare, takes the Nokia up close to her face and types something, again... and it takes quite a comical amount of time. 

With one hand kept out, I look at the text I got with my other. It reads: You didn’t wash your hands after peeing this morning (凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

Then the ghost girl flits away as usual, this time taking the Nokia with her.

“..."

First off, I didn’t even know you could use Kaomojis on a T9 keyboard. Secondly, I don’t remember her seeing me sit on the toilet... 

Deep breaths, deep breaths... ah, I’m getting lightheaded. Better go get some water.... though, I don’t want to particularly trail Elise to the kitchen. I make a face at the ghost’s back, and then start following her out into the far-too-tiny hallway. 

As I walk the distance to the kitchen whilst seeing through the ghost girl, I regain my calm. I didn’t even need to take deep breaths! 

I swiftly cross the distance between my dinner table and the sink, taking out a cup in the process. Not minding Elise as she stares at me, I hum while the water fills up in my cup. She’s definitely looking at me. 

After my cup is filled with water, I take it to my usual spot— the table. My eyes trail Elise as she floats off her chair and takes out a beer from my fridge and comes back. Drinking just a sip, she pulls out the Nokia from the mysterious depths of her sundress... I didn’t expect her clothing to be capable of carrying physical objects, though I suppose it’s a given considering she herself can touch things like that beer can. 

Ping!

I also take a sip while pulling out my smartphone and checking the text. 

Why do you have so much beer? Are you an alcoholic? Σ(ﾟДﾟ)

My voice is tense when I say, “It was a discount. A 10-pack for $1. Besides, have you ever even seen me drink it?"

That’s good. You sort of look like an alcoholic. Defy the stereotype. 

I am at a loss; help me out guys. What do I even say to that? What is the appropriate response for when a ghost girl disses you and tells you you look like an alcoholic? I’m not exactly mad at this point, I’m just... disappointed. I thought giving her the power of intelligent communication would help me uncover the world’s secrets, uncover the paranormal. All it’s done so far is show me how fucking annoying people can be after they open their mouths just once. 

Well, she hasn’t exactly opened her mouth yet, just texted... wait, she has! And in an incredibly violating manner!

“Oi, Elise! Why’d you kiss me that first day I started seeing you? While I was sleeping!"

She cutely puts a finger to her lips, as if thinking long and hard about her answer.... This next text is going to be absolutely disingenuous, isn’t it?

What kiss (ﾟ∀ﾟ)?

I sigh while slumping down on the table. My head hits the cup of water and knocks it over, spilling its last remaining contents across the table and soaking me. Ah, shucks. As if my day wasn't already a bit of a downer. 

I quickly rush to find a dishcloth to clean up the puddle. 

Not here... not here either... not here... not here?! Where can I find one damn piece of fabric in this apartment?! 

I’m banging around through my kitchen cabinets, looking up and down, left and right, without finding what my eyes are searching for. By this point, the water should have started to drip... if it gets on the floor, that’s going to be a bigger mess...! 

I look back to see the damage that’s spread... and find none. The water has magically been soaked up, not a single glistening drop left. I shift my gaze towards Elise, and see that she’s staring at me. She hits a button on her phone while maintaining eye contact, and a ping sounds from my smartphone on the counter. 

Getting up from my crouching position, I read the message I received.

You’re welcome. 

... Surprisingly helpful... I’m sort of starting to remember that other version of Elise... the one that answered my yes/no questions so diligently without being snobby about it... that ghostly person... 

I text her back, 

Thank you for cleaning up that spill! ... By chance, could you please tell me how you got rid of it?

I really want to know how she took away all that water. 

It’s a secret. ;D

Figures. I smile-sigh as I shake my head at her response. I suppose I should just be grateful she helped me out. I get another text.

You’ve got quite the daring bra on. 

What? What does she mean? 

I look down and then see what she means. My top is a little see through because of the water. 

Elise doesn’t send me a teasing follow up after that. I think she’s a little disappointed because of my reaction. Instead of going “Ahhh, don’t looook!” or even simply covering myself up, I just nod my head at her, and go get another cup of water. Sure, if this was with another human, male or female, I’d have tried covering up as soon as possible. But Elise is a ghost. I don’t feel that shy around her. 

Besides, she’s already seen me in the bath... hmm... maybe she was trying to be a poltergeist then, trying to scare me in the bath? That would certainly fit the personality she’s conveyed to me today. I start reflecting back on all the things the ghost girl has done to me, from following me to the bathroom to pushing buttons on the microwave and picking up spoons and shit. Until now, I’d just thought those were activities she did while bored.

Hmmm.... 

If only her face betrayed any emotion, I could pry out some of her intentions even without needing her vocal/textual response. 

Sigh, there’s no use thinking about it. I should just ask her. Yes, she will probably give me a vague answer or dodge the question altogether, but there’s no harm in doing so. 

I pick up my phone, placing my cup down into the sink. 

Elise, have you been trying to scare me?

I move towards the spilled-from-cup still on the table. 

Ping!

Whaaaaaat? Nooooooooo....

There’s my answer. 

As I rinse the cups, I see Elise float up to her favorite spot in the ceiling from the corner of my eye. Half her body through the ceiling, legs dangling down. What’s so interesting up there? I know it’s another apartment, but Mr. Takeno told me it’s empty up there. 

Finishing the dishes, I shoot the ghost my question. 

Elise, why do you always stick half your body up at that part of the ceiling?

I see her hands reach inside her dress and open the flip phone. She quickly texts me, 

Nuthin' you’d find interesting.

She’s got some awesome muscle memory... unless she can see through the walls. That’s also a likely possibility. 

If you don’t tell me, I’ll never know if it’s something I’d find interesting. 

She types back, But are you suuuuure you want to know what I see when I stick my head up here? There’s no going back after you know, y’know?

I gulp. She seems serious this time, no Kaomojis or snide remarks hidden within the texts. Something which would mean no going back? Is there a special portal to a ghostly realm up there? Should I really ask her? What if she lies again? 

As I’m pondering, I get another text from Emergency Phone: Hey, do you want to know or not? It’s almost ending!

Almost ending?! Is there a witches meeting up there?! Considering this is a haunted apartment, it wouldn’t come as a surprise if there are other paranormal things just above the ceiling! 

I gulp again. There’s no going back... Gah! I don’t care! I’ll accept it, I’ve already started seeing a ghost! Immersing myself further into the supernatural is the right step forward... right?

Before I change my mind, I send Emergency Phone another text,

Yes, I’m sure. Please tell me what you see. I am very curious. 

There is a moment of silence— well, it’s always silent— as Elise types of the message... in anticipation, I wait. 

Ping.

I take a deep breath as I look down to see the message. It reads:

yanno that Takeno guy? He and an old hag are getting absolutely down and dirty up here, it’s so interesting. I honestly didn’t expect such old humans to be able to have such passionate sex, but here we are. This time they’re not using the strapon and ballgag, instead—

I peel my eyes off my phone screen. 

She was right. 

There is no going back after what I just read. 

Fuck.