Restart, Spider-Man!

Before long, Xia Luo emerged from Carter's office.

He paused at the door.

"What the—does Tony have issues or what? He's really asking S.H.I.E.L.D. for help over this?"

Rubbing his temples, Xia Luo muttered to himself in disbelief.

Deciding to visit Stark Tower personally, he wasn't there just to help. Honestly, he was just... curious. And maybe to find a few chances to tease Tony along the way.

Yep, another entry for Tony's blackmail folder. Perfect.

As he strolled down the hallway, Xia Luo fantasized about the comfortable life he was building.

"Yes! Who cares if I'm outdated? I've got a stable paycheck now, plus Tony's dirty laundry on file."

"This time, I'm buying two villas—one for Uncle Ben and Aunt May, one for me. I'll hire five bodyguards, four maids, three assistants, two drivers, and, hmm… maybe a young model... oops, getting ahead of myself."

Catching sight of the odd glances from agents passing by, Xia Luo quickly composed himself.

He made his way to the flight plaza and casually stepped into a sleek, torpedo-shaped aircraft.

"To Stark Tower, please."

"Spider-Man?"

At the controls, Agent Hill turned, lighting up when she recognized him.

"Do you remember me?"

Xia Luo: "..."

"Um, my most loyal fan—how could I forget? I'm touched!"

At that moment, Coulson squeezed into the vehicle, locking eyes with Xia Luo in mutual surprise.

Xia Luo's eyes were big.

Coulson's eyes... were not.

"Uh, Spider-Man... why aren't you web-swinging?" Coulson asked, looking slightly embarrassed.

Xia Luo shrugged. "Spider-Man has to keep up with the times."

He raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you leave with Fury?"

Coulson's face turned even redder.

"Well, um... he hasn't found a new job yet."

Xia Luo: "..."

"Right, so... where are you two headed?" he asked.

"Just heading home."

"You're going together?" Xia Luo put his hands to his face in exaggerated shock. "Isn't Spider-Man Agent Hill's true love?"

"No!"

Agent Hill quickly clarified, "Phil just needed a ride."

"Due to recent events, my bonus was... reduced. I can't afford my own aircraft," Coulson admitted, lowering his head in embarrassment.

"So, this is your personal aircraft?" Xia Luo looked at Hill, catching a hint of wealthy-heroine vibes.

Hill adjusted her hair, maintaining her usual polished demeanor.

"Yes, Spider-Man, I'll drop you at Stark Tower first. Phil won't mind."

"I—"

Before Coulson could respond, the aircraft shot into the night sky.

Coulson: "..."

Lowering his head again, he silently cursed.

Commander, are you seeing this?

You told me not to care so much about bonuses and pay, to devote myself to world peace.

Well, I'm telling you now, you were wrong.

The world may seem peaceful, but my spirit... it's been crushed—crushed by the weight of society and finances.

If I had another chance, I'd fight for every single bonus I ever lost.

And I'd never take a colleague's carpool again. Never would I share an aircraft with Spider-Man again!

"Hey, Agent Phil—can I call you that?"

"Oh no... you seem a bit down. How about I sing for you?"

"This song's from a friend of mine. Great tune."

"No, wait, this space is too cramped. I can't fully express myself—it's a dance song, you have to jump for it to work."

"Why the long face? It's rude not to look at me! Head up, chin up!"

"Oh dear, your back is hunched. Is it from exhaustion, or... money issues? Hey, no offense—I used to be broke too, but don't worry, if a man is willing to hustle, he'll make it someday."

"Look at me—I'm a senior agent now! By the way, how long did it take you to get senior agent status?"

"Five years? Ten? Haha, took me only a few months. And here's a secret—soon, I'll be buying my own villa, but shhh! Don't! Tell! Anyone!"

Xia Luo's voice echoed in the night sky as they reached Stark Tower.

Leaping from the aircraft to the rooftop, he waved goodbye.

"Thank you! And thank you to my amazing fan for the ride!"

At the window, Coulson waved back, a blank look on his face.

Then he pulled out his phone.

"Hello, Mr. Charlie? Yes, it's me. I'd like to apply for a bank loan. No, not for an aircraft... I'm buying a villa."

Agent Hill: "..."

---

Meanwhile, Xia Luo quietly crawled up to the window, trying to find something in the pitch-black room.

Suddenly, the lights flicked on, revealing Tony Stark standing there, dark circles under his eyes, staring blankly at him.

"AHHH! A ghost!!" Xia Luo yelled, nearly losing his grip and falling from the high-rise.

"Spider-Man, you're here."

Tony waved his hand, and JARVIS smoothly raised the floor-to-ceiling window.

As Xia Luo swung into the room, Tony dropped to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

"My friend, you're finally back! Please, help me! I'm falling apart here. The universe has it out for me!" he wailed.

Xia Luo: "???"

Watching Tony cling to his leg, bawling, Xia Luo's mind was a sea of question marks.

"Uh... this... is not your usual vibe," he mumbled, stunned.

At that moment, Pepper entered with a mug of warm milk. She froze, staring in shock at the scene in front of her, the cup slipping from her hands.

"You two…"

Whoosh!

Xia Luo's web shot out, catching the cup just before it hit the floor. He took a quick sip.

"Tastes... strange. Must be expensive, right?" he asked Pepper.

Pepper's eye twitched. "It has sleeping pills in it."

"What?"

Xia Luo froze, then slowly set the cup down.

"Let's get to the bottom of this before I pass out. What happened?"

Pepper sighed and helped Tony off the floor.

"It all started a week ago—"

"Wait, I'm kind of tired. Could you speed things up?" Xia Luo yawned.

"Speed? Fast?"

At the word "fast," Tony suddenly gasped.

"No, no, it's not like that—I can do it. I'm fine!"

"Tony, hush."

Pepper silenced him with a shock from a small taser, leaving Xia Luo wide-eyed at the sight.

Pepper glanced at Tony's haggard face and sighed again.

"Captain Carter must have filled you in."

Xia Luo sat down in a chair. "Yeah, she mentioned Tony was dealing with some... strange things."

"It's gone beyond 'strange' now."

Pepper looked worried. "Last week, we were in bed—yes, just sleeping. Tony wasn't doing well; it was... disappointing."

"How many seconds?" Xia Luo asked.

Pepper held up two fingers. "Three."

Xia Luo nodded. "You're still too considerate of Tony's ego."

Pepper forced a bitter smile and continued. "Since then, he's been focusing on his health, but the next attempt... still didn't go well."

"How many seconds?"

Pepper held up one finger. "Three."

Xia Luo: "…"

"This is a bit much for S.H.I.E.L.D. Maybe try something more... thrilling?"

"Sorry, forget I said anything."

It seemed Red Skull had really left Tony with some lasting trauma.

But what Pepper said next made Xia Luo realize things were far more bizarre.

"In the following days, even when Tony slept alone, he'd... well, you know. And not just once—a second or three at a time."

Xia Luo rubbed his chin. "This sounds serious. Has he seen a doctor?"

"Yes, thankfully a private doctor."

"Thankfully?"

"Yes, because even with the doctor... it happened. You know."

"I get it."

Xia Luo winced, feeling a pang of pity for Tony.

Alright, maybe one villa would be enough.

"Still, did it really need S.H.I.E.L.D.?" he asked.

Pepper's expression grew serious, and she looked up at the ceiling. "JARVIS."

"Ms. Potts, the data is ready."

A holographic projection appeared, and Xia Luo saw a few faint figures.

Pepper explained, "Since it was so strange, I had JARVIS monitor Tony closely.

It turns out, during his 'episodes,' something strange was caught on surveillance."

A figure had shown up on the security footage, but it moved so fast it was a blur, only visible when slowed down by multiple frames.

"Security footage?" Xia Luo raised an eyebrow.

"I know you're not interested, so I won't make you watch it," Pepper said.

Xia Luo cleared his throat. "Thank you. Definitely don't show me that."

Pepper raised her hand, adjusting the projection to increase clarity.

As the figure grew sharper, Xia Luo's expression turned strange.

Dual swords, red suit, masked face.

Deadpool!

Was this some kind of joke?

The revival rounds were over—why was he here?

Xia Luo glanced at Pepper, who clearly didn't recognize Wade, then remembered. In the last reset, Wade hadn't appeared, likely due to a malfunction with his teleportation device.

Which meant Tony didn't know him either.

Then the projection shifted again, showing a sharply dressed man covered in scars.

"This is Wade Wilson. He applied here for a job two weeks ago. Recently, Tony's only enemy has been this guy, and he matches the figure we saw on camera," Pepper explained.

Xia Luo frowned. "Job application?"

"Yes, Tony's now an Avenger interviewer, and he rejected Wilson."

"Why?"

"For being rude to the interviewer and his... messy appearance."

"And I'm guessing he said more?"

Pepper sighed, exasperated.

"Yes, you know Tony can have quite the mouth sometimes."

Xia Luo looked at the worn-down Tony, feeling a bit sorry for him.

Tony had a sharp tongue, but Wade's was sharper—and he had no sense of boundaries. Crossing Wade's path usually ended in disaster.

He took a moment to mourn for Tony.

Okay, maybe just a second.

Still, Xia Luo couldn't help but wonder what exactly Wade was doing to put Tony through all this.

While he was lost in thought, Pepper glanced at her watch and suddenly gasped.

"It's almost time."

"Time for what?"

"Time for Tony's... episode."

Just then, Xia Luo's spider-sense tingled, alerting him that something was off.

Whoosh.

The wind outside suddenly stilled. In a blink, a shadow flashed by, and Tony's body gave a shudder.

His pants were... damp.

As the breeze passed, Pepper finally registered what had happened.

"See? Just like that."

Xia Luo: "…"

"Moving at super-speed to make sure Tony… finishes? No wonder he's practically dead."

Pepper looked on in worry. "Yes, and it happens over a dozen times a day.

I've tried locking Tony in a reinforced metal chamber, setting up infrared lasers to block him, but nothing worked.

That's why I turned to S.H.I.E.L.D.—we're out of options."

Hearing this, Xia Luo's face darkened.

Disgusting.

Pointless.

Childish.

Only Deadpool would pull off something this depraved.

Suddenly, he felt a slip of paper pressed into his hand.

He opened it, deep in thought.

"I'll handle this," he said. "When Tony's feeling better, remind him about my confidentiality fee."

With that, he leapt out the window.

Watching him disappear into the night, Pepper sighed deeply.

In this new era, Spider-Man might have become obsolete, but he definitely had a knack for detective work.

Hopefully, he could take care of this ridiculous problem.

---

Soon after, in a residential building in Queens.

On the rooftop, Deadpool, in his red suit and twin katanas strapped to his back, was practicing some terribly awkward dance moves.

"Oh baby, bye-bye-bye~"

Wade sang along, waving his arms and stomping his feet, occasionally pausing to frown in frustration.

"Oh for $@%*'s sake, why is this move so hard? I can't get it!"

He clutched his head in despair. "The movie series is almost here, and if I don't nail this choreography, what'll happen to my box office numbers?!"

"No! I've got to push through—I've got to succeed! I have to carry on Avengers: Endgame's box office legacy!"

Wade sprang up, wildly gesturing as if he were snapping his fingers like Iron Man.

"I am Deadpool... Wait, wrong script. I should be teaming up with Wolverine—ultimate nostalgia trip! The box office will go wild!"

"No, wait... Wolverine already won a revival slot. So what's my big opening gonna be?"

"Oh, Lady Death, help me out! I'm so tired—I just want to go home, sprawl on my couch, and watch some nice R-rated movies. I'm so done with this main character gig…"

Zzzt~

Just then, a spark of electricity flickered, and Xia Luo flipped down onto the rooftop's water tank.

Watching Wade spiral into one of his unhinged routines, Xia Luo couldn't help but massage his temples.

"Deadpool, the revival rounds ended. You should've returned to your own world," he said.

At the sound of Xia Luo's voice, Wade spun around, his eyes lighting up like he'd seen a savior.

"Oh, Spidey, finally! I missed you so much…"

In an instant, Wade launched into slow-motion running, humming his own dramatic background music, arms wide open for a hug—only to receive a swift kick to the lower half from Xia Luo.

"Ahh! That familiar feeling…"

Wade clutched his legs, dropping to his knees in mock agony.

Xia Luo crossed his arms. "You still haven't answered my question."

Wade looked up, the white patches in his eyes widening.

Abandoning his dramatic performance, he got up and draped an arm around Xia Luo's shoulder.

"Alright, here's the truth: I'm just a passing Deadpool. The real Wade chickened out. He's too worried about his handsome face getting ruined, so he's in hiding."

As he spoke, a dragon bone fossil slipped out of his pocket and clattered to the ground.

Xia Luo: "…"

No wonder Tony's been acting so bizarre—he's been dealing with this guy's antics.

Better he toned it down a little for safety's sake—Deadpool could get way more unhinged if he weren't careful. Honestly, it's on brand for him.

---

Is Unlocking the Stellaris Tech Tree in Star Rail Really Okay? got locked by webnovel (probably reported...?) so I'll have it up on the sribble hub later today with the new updates :p same username on there btw ughh should i repost on here?