ALL NOVEL Ch. 56 Impromptu BBQ
As plans went, Santi had to admit it wasn’t super inspiring. At the same time, if it’s not broke, why fix it? Lure the chimera into a house and light said house on fire after it got stuck again. It was intelligent enough to talk but seemed to have the tactical intelligence of a caffeinated toddler. Use Gust to spread and contain the fire and just wait for the barbeque to end. Nice and simple.
He got most of the can full before the chimera managed to squeeze itself out of the roof of the house it had gotten stuck in. Took it three minutes and twenty eight seconds. That would have to be enough time. Santi broke into a trot after looting the back of the truck for its emergency supplies, including a road flare.
The things were just so useful, he couldn’t help but love them. How many monsters had he already slain under their red light? Had to be scores by now, and they were everywhere. Almost every decently maintained vehicle had one somewhere. They were a great source of light and instant fire.
He only had seconds before the chimera would be on him and he needed to hurry. He punctured the gas can with the morph blade, slicing apart tough plastic with ease as he limped up the stairs trailing a line of fuel behind him. The flare was jammed into his pants pocket and he looked back to see the chimera charging like a freight train.
“Really are dumb,” Santi said as he walked right up the stairs in a repeat of exactly what he had done the last time. Gas splashed behind him, the pungent scent filled the air as he hobbled up the stairs and made towards the master bedroom. There was a blessing with all of these buildings being built identically. It made the housing developments look like soulless stains on humanity, but made it easy to navigate them.
The can ran empty right as he got to the master bedroom and the house shuddered as the chimera broke it. It was screaming in rage, no words, just raw emotion. Santi climbed out the window carefully, lowering himself down and falling as lightly as possible. His ankle screamed in pain and he got up and hopped to the front of house as he watched as the goblin-spider start to claw its way free again. It was moving faster than last time, having learned its lesson.
Roofing tiles were flying and broken pieces of framing came down in a rain as Santi snapped the flare to life and tossed it in the ruins of the foyer. It took a second and then with a whoosh flame exploded over dry lumber. Heat blasted out backward as the hungry flame followed the gas trail up the staircase and after the chimera. The chimera’s wordless screams of rage changed to panicked pain filled howls as the fire licked at it hidden from sight.
Santi cast Gust, doing his best to control the airflow to not suffocate the nascent flame. It worked well enough, the air feeding the flame to greater and greater heights. The monster redoubled its efforts to dig out of the house. It was a monstrous cacophony of breaking wood and screams as the monster tried to drag itself out too soon and got stuck.
Santi watched with a sense of detachment as it started to burn. Just how many humans had this monster consumed. How many had its nest of goblins taken and fed to its webs. Had to be hundreds. The bloodstained bedroom came to his mind. The ruined stuffed toys and bookshelf. Children. They had been the biggest victims in all of this, too weak to defend themselves.
He cursed the Apostate’s and their devotion to their patron. The patron who had seemed so disinterested when Santi had sworn to stand against him. Did their patron even care, if it was someone who had surpassed this realm and Ascended beyond, could they care? It would be like a human staring at a singular ant.
They were next on his list, once everything in town got settled. The Civilization Pillar would be a good stopping point for him here. By then his family should have made it to town, he would have to send a team to try to lead them in. No, he would go himself. After this, after the goblins were exterminated. He would go and find his family.
He watched the cackling flames consume the chimera. It screamed a blood curdling shriek as the flames began to consume it. Its attempts to escape increased as panic forced it to try harder to get itself out of the tight confines. Wood creaked and cracked and it started to wiggle free.
“Knew that was going to be too easy,” Santi complained to himself as the chimera broke free of the roof and came tumbling down off the roof. It was half aflame, the hair on its spider body having caught fire and burning it as it fell toward the ground. The goblin half was seared medium well and blisters had started to form where its torso melded with the spiders.
“Looking crispy!” Santi shouted at it, as it fell to the ground. The crunching sound it made as it hit made him wince. That couldn’t have been pleasant.
“EAT YOUUUUUU!!!!!!”
“You’re the one who’s looking cooked,” Santi said as it got its many legs underneath it. He had always been terrible at banter. If it wasn’t so good at getting the chimera so enraged he wouldn’t do it. It was already running at him full speed even as smoke still trailed off its body.
He backed up till he was closer to the dirt lot filled with trucks and construction equipment. As the chimera ran at him full speed he prepared himself. His weapons morphed into a long halberd and he settled himself with his wounded ankle gingerly touching the ground. The spear point of the halberd pointed at the charging spider, but it didn’t slow at all.
Each of the crushing legs were thin, five and a half feet long, and ended with tapered points that dug into concrete. Any one of those legs had the ability to leave him in pieces as the spider scurried at him. None of his spells would work well on it right now, forcing him to rely on his martial ability. It seemed so long ago that he was cursing in a kobold rift about becoming a mage and not having to worry about these types of fights.
A bladed leg slashed at him, intent on splitting him in half. Santi dodged, rolling on a shoulder and popping back up to slash at a planted spider leg. Where before the blade had just left a thin furrow, this time it cut deep. Vicious green blood welled up and out of the partially severed leg as the goblin head started to scream again.
Santi was forced to roll as three legs began to cut all around him, each of them hitting with the force of a jackhammer. Dust and dirt flew through the air as Santi rolled under a truck and popped up. Legs sheared through the truck and ripped it apart in an explosion of tearing metals and fluids.
His halberd split the edge of the nearest leg like a bad toenail. It skittered back, two of its legs now injured while Santi tried to create space between them. He ran up and over the top of a heavy dozer, vaulting the cab with ease. Even as he hit the dirt on the other side, the giant piece of machinery rocked as the chimera hit it and bounced backward.
“You’re really dumb, and ummm…smell?” Santi realized he was losing the thread on the banter. The goblin-spider was beyond any logic. Its only communication was howls of rage.
Santi headed toward another house, thinking of trapping it again. If it was dumb enough to trap itself for a third time he could definitely get more gas and burn it again. He turned to look at the monster, to see if it was going to follow him again into a too small home.
Yellow steel. That’s all he saw before he threw himself backward with every ounce of strength he had.
He blasted through plaster and studs, felt bones crack even as he sailed into the back of the house. A split second later a terrible crash announced the excavator hitting the front of the house. The front of the house collapsed inward, dust, plaster, and a myriad of other things became a cloud that obscured his vision as he ran out the front door.
“Not that dumb, noted.” Santi ran around the side of the house to see the very smug spider-goblin picking up half of a pickup with its legs. Their eyes met and the goblin smiled as it hoisted the half of the truck up and lobbed it with ease. Santi watched it arc up and over in a perfect throw to make the bed of the severed truck hit him.