Romantic Gangster

#50

At Ji-woo’s words, Hyun-joon, who had been standing with a slightly dazed expression, burst into a small laugh and let his body relax. His arms, which had been hanging stiffly as if standing at attention, came up to hug Ji-woo’s small body in return. He could feel Ji-woo’s warm and pleasant pheromone scent wafting around, as if comforting him.

“Hey, now you’re on the PE teacher’s bad side too. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to see him until graduation.”

“Wow, that’s some scary revenge, really.”

There probably wasn’t anyone in the world who could take revenge as cutely as Seo Ji-woo. Hyun-joon had been feeling terrible all day, embarrassed and annoyed, having lost all his pride in front of Ji-woo because of the PE teacher, but with Ji-woo’s revenge, everything really felt okay now. If Seo Ji-woo liked him this much, who cared what that thug of a teacher did?

“And if you feel that empty after not seeing me for half a day, isn’t that a serious problem? At that level, it seems like you’ve already gone beyond just liking me. Seo Ji-woo, you really love me, don’t you?”

Ji-woo smiled as Hyun-joon’s voice, which had been strangely subdued, changed back to its usual playful and pleasant tone.

Finally, all the difficult, confusing, and complicated things disappeared, leaving only Hyun-joon in his heart. At the same time, his mind became clear. He had planned to seriously think about his feelings when he got home today, but it seemed there was no need for that now.

In Hyun-joon’s absence, he couldn’t shake him from his mind for even a moment. He had worried, felt heartache, and wanted to see him. To the point of running straight towards Hyun-joon as soon as he appeared before his eyes.

Ji-woo still didn’t know what it meant to like someone, how to figure it out, or how to understand and judge it. Love was even more vague and difficult, and he had never properly thought of that name before.

But now he could understand what his feelings for Hyun-joon were. That was enough. He didn’t want to worry anymore. Because his feelings weren’t something that could be divided among many people. Because it was a unique feeling in the world that could only be formed for Hyun-joon.

“Yeah. I guess so.”

“…Huh?”

Caught off guard by Ji-woo’s unexpected response, Hyun-joon pulled away and asked again like an idiot. Looking up at the dazed Hyun-joon, Ji-woo clearly voiced what he wanted to say now.

“I guess I really fucking love you. What should we do now?”

Ji-woo, who had repeated exactly what Hyun-joon had said, let out a small laugh mixed with his breath, feeling awkward about the word “fucking” that didn’t suit him at all. Hyun-joon couldn’t move at all at those words, just taking in Ji-woo’s face with his eyes.

“…Really?”

“Yeah.”

“…Are you done thinking? You said you’d do it tonight.”

“I was going to, but I don’t think I need to think about it.”

“Hey, is it okay to live life so impulsively? What if you regret it later or something, I won’t take responsibility, you know?”

“Do you not like it?”

“Hey, how can you say that now? How could I not like it? I fucking love it. I really love it! Ah, shit… I feel like a homeless person who just found out their parents are billionaires.”

Although Ji-woo wasn’t sure what that meant, it seemed like a very Hyun-joon-like expression, making him laugh again. Watching Hyun-joon stutter strange words, Ji-woo tilted his head.

“You told me to think quickly, but why don’t you believe me when I’ve finished thinking and given you an answer?”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you, but… maybe you’re doing this because you felt sorry for me when you saw that PE teacher yelling at me… You’re so kind, that could happen, right? No, I don’t mind either way. I’m just fucking grateful. I’m grateful, but even if you change your mind next week and say you’ve thought about it again and it doesn’t feel right, I’m not going to let you take it back. This is your last chance, right now. Are you sure you don’t need to think more?”

“Hmm… Then let me ask you one thing.”

Hyun-joon, looking a bit tense, nodded shortly. Seeing such a tense expression for the first time, Ji-woo smiled slightly and took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. Still, his heart, having just realized the feeling of liking someone very much for the first time, didn’t calm down at all.

“I… I’ve been thinking about you all day. Even when I tried not to think, I kept thinking about you, worrying about you saying you were sorry, and when I went to eat, I didn’t want to eat because I thought you might not be eating.”

“Are you crazy, so you didn’t eat?”

“Just a little.”

“What about dinner?”

When Ji-woo shook his head indicating he hadn’t eaten, Hyun-joon’s brow furrowed deeply. Ji-woo quietly looked up at Hyun-joon as he opened his mouth to scold him.

“Hey, you’ve been starving all day like this? Working in a place surrounded by food and you didn’t even eat? You should have at least eaten that cream thing you like. Shit, we shouldn’t just be standing here. Hey, go inside quickly and make some ramen before you sleep.”

“Hyun-joon. Are you worried about me?”

“Ah, of course I’m worried, how could I not be?”

“Me too.”

“……”

“I’m that worried about you too, Hyun-joon.”

At Ji-woo’s words, Hyun-joon couldn’t say anything more. He had too clearly faced what Ji-woo was saying.

“……”

“……”

As their gazes locked deeply, their hearts started to flutter. Hyun-joon felt like his head might explode at Ji-woo’s words that he felt the same way. It couldn’t be expressed simply by saying he fucking liked it.

1 second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds…

The intertwined gazes felt like they were becoming more and more tightly entangled. He couldn’t joke around or show a smile. He couldn’t say anything, just kept liking Ji-woo in front of him more and more. Every time he closed and opened his eyes, a deeper feeling was born, and his heart tightened.

“…Is this the right time? That… timing you mentioned?”

In the quiet and dim alley, under the light of the street lamp, Ji-woo’s voice echoed softly.

Hyun-joon didn’t understand at first, but after pondering the word “timing” again, he realized what kind of timing Ji-woo meant. For a moment, he was too nervous to answer right away.

Hyun-joon tried to speak as calmly as possible while exhaling a shaky breath, pretending it wasn’t trembling. He didn’t want to appear to Ji-woo like a clueless fool who was shaking all over.

“I think it is.”

“……”

“Can I do it?”

He wanted to lighten the mood, but the playfulness that usually came so easily refused to mix into his words. Hyun-joon pressed his trembling fingertips hard against his thigh, hiding it from Ji-woo.

“…Yeah.”

Ji-woo’s head nodded lightly up and down in affirmation. Hyun-joon’s closed lips parted, and the breath he had been holding in tension flowed out first.

Ji-woo looked at Hyun-joon’s face, which had come so close it made him wonder if it was okay to be this close. He felt more… more nervous than when he had seen it in his dream last night.

As he watched Hyun-joon’s head tilt, Ji-woo closed his eyes. He had wondered why people always closed their eyes when kissing, but now he felt like he understood the reason. Maybe it’s because seeing the face of the person you like too closely is bad for your heart.

The moment he felt his eyelids trembling, something warm pressed lightly against his lips. Ji-woo closed his eyes tighter and, too nervous, clasped his hands together and pressed his lips firmly.

“How do you feel?”

The warm thing lifted, and Hyun-joon’s voice settled over it, sounding a bit rough. Ji-woo opened his eyes and looked up at Hyun-joon, who had no trace of playfulness.

“If you feel bad, or if you can’t do anything more than this, or…”

Hyun-joon, who was rambling without making eye contact, probably worried that Ji-woo might say such things, looked cute. Ji-woo looked at Hyun-joon’s reddened ears illuminated by the street light and raised his heels.

He wanted to touch Hyun-joon’s lips like Hyun-joon had done to him, but maybe because it was his first time, or because he had closed his eyes before touching the lips, he ended up touching Hyun-joon’s chin instead of his lips. Surprised by the hard feeling instead of the soft one he expected, Ji-woo lowered his heels and opened his eyes.

“……”

“……”

Hyun-joon was looking at him. Their eyes met again, and Hyun-joon’s lips moved. He seemed to want to say something, but he kept opening his mouth as if to speak and then closing it again. His ears were still red.

“You don’t believe it, do you? That I like you.”

“…Yeah, honestly, it’s hard to believe. It was like that until just now. But I think I might start to believe it now?”

“……”

“But if I believe it, I really can’t back out. Is that okay? I’m going to be obsessed with you. For life.”

Hyun-joon’s gaze didn’t waver. His ears were red, but he didn’t seem like he would back down. Ji-woo liked that about Hyun-joon. The boldness to say he liked what he liked, and to honestly express what was in his heart.

The kindness of Hyun-joon, who came all the way here and waited for him, thinking only of Ji-woo, even though he might have felt too embarrassed to see Ji-woo’s face.

The warmth of asking over and over if it was okay, if Ji-woo didn’t dislike it, even though he looked like he just wanted to grab Ji-woo and do as he pleased.