Romantic Gangster

#57

“Let’s go quickly.”

“Huh? Ah… Yeah… Let’s go.”

Contrary to his concerns, Ji-woo didn’t ask anything. Who that awful person was, what the big job was about, if they were close… Despite probably having many questions, he didn’t show any curiosity about it.

Hyun-joon felt relieved, but at the same time, he had a headache from the embarrassment that spread along with the relief. He was realizing every day through big shocks how thoughtlessly he had been living until now, but he hadn’t expected to face such a greater shame than being slapped by the PE teacher in front of Ji-woo, so he was completely out of it.

“Should we eat hamburgers?”

“Do you want to eat hamburgers?”

“Yeah. I suddenly want to eat french fries.”

Even in the midst of embarrassment, Hyun-joon’s heart fluttered at how cute Ji-woo was, saying “french fries” out loud. When he nodded while stroking Ji-woo’s hair, the usual bright smile appeared on Ji-woo’s face.

He wanted to smile along without thinking, choose late-night snacks, and casually talk about what to do over the weekend, but he had so many things pricking at his conscience that he couldn’t smile well or speak easily. Hyun-joon just kept fiddling with Ji-woo’s hair as he walked.

He wanted to become a good, no, decent person who suited Ji-woo, but it was so difficult.

* * *

Ji-woo stared blankly at Hyun-joon’s back as he mopped the floor instead of him. Since earlier, that is, right after talking with the person who looked like a gangster as they left the school gate, Hyun-joon’s mood had sunk.

Although he was trying not to show it to Ji-woo, honestly, it was all visible. Not only had his mood worsened, but every time Ji-woo noticed Hyun-joon seeming to watch him, his heart leaned even more towards him.

The person who greeted Hyun-joon in front of the school earlier was probably someone related to Hyun-joon’s work. It was likely related to that debt collection job, so there was a high possibility he was a loan shark.

Although he didn’t pretend to know about it first because Hyun-joon seemed to dislike encountering such a person, he didn’t want to let Hyun-joon worry alone anymore.

“Hyun-joon, you can stop now.”

“Huh? Oh.”

Hyun-joon turned around, put the mop in the storage room, and approached the counter again. Ji-woo patted the narrow space beside him, which now felt incredibly spacious without Hyun-joon.

“Thanks for cleaning instead of me every day.”

“That’s nothing. I’m stronger and have better stamina than you, so use me as much as you want. I could even carry you on my back to school if you asked.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Remember when I carried you from the cafeteria to the infirmary? You were so light I didn’t even feel like I was carrying anything.”

Although he was joking, the pleasant undertone felt strangely weaker than usual. Ji-woo looked at Hyun-joon’s hand on his thigh and gently grabbed a few of his fingers.

“…Do you want to… kiss?”

“Huh?”

Hyun-joon’s eyes widened in surprise at the words he hadn’t expected at all, not even a little bit.

“…Hey, when you suddenly say that, wow…. You surprised me. You should give at least a little warning before saying… No, never mind… I want to.”

As if calming down after voicing his surprise, Hyun-joon enveloped Ji-woo’s hand with one of his, and with the other, he cupped Ji-woo’s cheek and tilted his head down. Ji-woo also slightly raised his head, looking at Hyun-joon approaching him before closing his eyes.

When their soft lips touched, Ji-woo felt Hyun-joon’s hands tighten a little. Ji-woo slightly opened his mouth to allow Hyun-joon’s tongue, which was rubbing between his lips, to enter. At that moment, their lips pressed together more deeply, and Hyun-joon’s tongue touched the tip of Ji-woo’s.

Every time their tongues touched, Ji-woo experienced feelings he had never felt before. It felt good, but simply saying it felt good… wasn’t enough.

Every time their tongues met, his body tingled and tickled. It felt like something light was brushing the inside of his lower abdomen and thighs, making his legs keep curling up…

It also felt similar to those very rare dawn moments when he woke up, feeling strange between his legs, and touched himself with a bit of guilt and embarrassment.

Last night, this morning, and now. It was hard to say much based on just three times, but he hoped Hyun-joon’s mood would improve as much as his own mood had improved all three times.

“…Mmm…”

As their tongues intertwined and rubbed against each other, then gently stroked the tips again, Ji-woo’s body went limp. He had said it to make Hyun-joon feel better, but he was a bit worried that he might be feeling even better himself.

“…Haa…”

“Whew…”

Their lips parted with a moist sound. Ji-woo caught his breath and examined Hyun-joon’s slightly flushed face.

“How do you… haa… feel? Are you… a little better?”

“……”

As Hyun-joon just looked at him without answering while catching his breath softly, Ji-woo tilted his head and looked at him worriedly.

“Do you still… feel very bad? Was there no effect at all?”

“Did you suggest it because I looked like I was in a bad mood?”

“Yeah… I haven’t done it much yet, but I felt really good last night and this morning too.”

“…I’m going crazy, really.”

“I feel better than before, don’t you? Is it just me?”

Hyun-joon let out a breath as if collapsing and leaned in to hug Ji-woo tightly. He felt like his heart would burst. He liked Ji-woo so much, really so so much, that it was frustrating to only be able to express it with such inadequate words.

“How could I not like it. I like it. I fucking like it.”

Whether he had become accustomed to and addicted to Hyun-joon’s way of speaking while being with him, hearing him say he “fucking” liked it made Ji-woo feel relieved that he really liked it. Ji-woo patted Hyun-joon’s back as he hugged him tightly.

“Don’t worry about me… You don’t have to.”

“Was it obvious that I was watching out for you? I thought I was doing it secretly.”

“It was all obvious. I’m pretty quick to notice things.”

“Hey, that’s not true. You didn’t know I liked you. You didn’t know you liked me either. You were completely oblivious.”

“That’s…!”

“That’s what?”

As Hyun-joon separated a bit and looked into his eyes as if telling him to speak, Ji-woo organized his thoughts.

“Actually, I was thinking it was a bit strange on my own too. Because it felt so different when I saw you compared to other kids. But I’ve never liked someone like that before, so I didn’t know. It’s not that I didn’t notice.”

“Hmm, okay. I’ll accept that.”

Pleased to be acknowledged, Ji-woo smiled proudly, and Hyun-joon, feeling his heart tickle at the sight, tilted his head again and pressed his lips deeply against Ji-woo’s cheek.

“That person we saw in front of the school earlier. He’s someone I work with. He’s a loan shark and a gangster. I don’t think I’ve properly told you, but I sometimes help out with their work. You know, going to find people who borrow money and don’t pay back, collecting money, that kind of thing.”

Although he had heard from the billiard room owner that Hyun-joon was doing debt collection, Ji-woo had never pretended to know about it. It wasn’t something he should bring up first.

“You’re not surprised?”

“Actually, I heard from the billiard room owner before. That you help with debt collection and such.”

“What? Ah, shit…. Why would he say that? Is he crazy? Oh, how embarrassing.”

Hyun-joon crumpled forward, pressing his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. He recalled the few times he had told Ji-woo he had work and left. Thinking that Ji-woo had known he was going to collect debts, he felt like his head would explode.

“I thought nothing could be more embarrassing than a gangster greeting me on the street, but fuck, really…”

Hyun-joon, who had been pulling his hair, suddenly raised his body and looked at Ji-woo.

“So you’re dating me even though you know all that?”

“Yeah.”

“…Are you trying to ruin your life? Aren’t you scared?”

“I’m not scared, but I am worried. It’s a dangerous job, isn’t it? That person earlier looked scary too…”

Looking at Ji-woo, who was watching him with a very worried face, Hyun-joon thought. If nothing else, he absolutely… didn’t want to do anything that would make Ji-woo worry.

He wanted to become an upright person. Although he had never lived as a good person before and didn’t know how to do it, he at least didn’t want to make Ji-woo anxious.

“I’ll make sure you don’t have to worry. I really don’t want to embarrass myself in front of you anymore. I’ll make sure you don’t regret liking me… So keep liking me.”

“Okay. You don’t have to worry about that. I really like you.”

With those words of Ji-woo’s liking him, Hyun-joon no longer needed easily earned money. It was true that as money came in, dreams of wanting to do something also arose, but such dreams no longer had any meaning for him. Because his dream had changed.

His dream was to receive Ji-woo’s heart for a very long time, if possible, for a lifetime. If Ji-woo would look at him and say he liked him like now, care about his feelings, worry about him… be curious about him, if that could happen, he didn’t need anything else, really nothing else.

“You’re really feeling better now, right?”

At Ji-woo’s question, Hyun-joon nodded and kissed Ji-woo’s cheek again with a peck. Finding it cute how Ji-woo’s eye on that side crinkled, he kissed near his eye this time, making Ji-woo laugh with a clear face.

It was a smile that made him want to become a good person.