Romantic Gangster

#59

Emotions came rushing in various ways. While he disliked Ji-woo smiling at others, when Ji-woo turned and smiled at him, it made him feel on top of the world. Was this okay…? Ever since falling for Ji-woo, Hyun-joon kept discovering new sides of himself that he never knew existed. He never expected to become someone so desperately in love.

Though it made sense not to know since this was his first relationship, he really hadn’t anticipated it at all. He’d never seriously liked anyone before. He’d thought that even if he did like someone, he’d get bored and lose interest after a few days, but that wasn’t… wasn’t the case at all.

Far from getting bored or losing interest, just the thought of Ji-woo getting bored of him or losing interest made him feel like he might faint.

“We got everything on the list. Do we need anything else?”

“Hmm…. Ah! One thing!”

As if remembering something, Hyun-joon turned the cart away from the food section, and Ji-woo followed. Hyun-joon arrived at the section selling lights and bulbs.

“What are you buying?”

“Lanterns.”

“Lanterns?”

“Yeah, to hang by the outdoor bench. I looked it up yesterday, and nowadays just two of them make it really bright. Campers use them a lot. Those standing lamps look too cheap.”

Hyun-joon picked up a rather stylish-looking lantern. Since Ji-woo would be coming to his house often from now on, he wanted to install nice lighting. Something that would make him want to keep coming back because of the atmosphere.

That’s why while looking for lighting to brighten the bench, he came across camping lanterns. He liked them even more because they could change to various colors and were surprisingly bright, serving both as excellent lighting while creating the right ‘mood.’

“They sell hooks for these too. How about this?”

“It’s pretty. I think it’ll be nice.”

Seeing Ji-woo nod, Hyun-joon quickly planted a kiss on his cheek when no one was around, then put two lanterns and two hooks in the cart.

“Now we can check out… Ah, we finished the ice cream yesterday. Since it’s by the checkout…”

Hyun-joon looked back at Ji-woo and noticed his ears and cheeks were definitely redder than before. It was clearly because of his kiss.

…Damn, what should I do? He’s so pretty.

“Your face is really red.”

“…That’s because of you.”

“Why because of me? It’s because of you. It’s red because you like me so much.”

As they walked toward the checkout, Ji-woo tilted his head while pondering Hyun-joon’s words.

“…Is that so?”

“You’re really cute, seriously.”

Unable to hold back anymore, Hyun-joon wrapped his arm around Ji-woo’s shoulders and gave two quick kisses on his soft cheeks before pulling away. When he looked up, he made eye contact with an elderly cashier, but he didn’t care. Love wasn’t something to be embarrassed about.

“We should buy lots of ice cream. Get whatever you want.”

“…People are staring.”

“So what? They’ll just think we’re dating. And they’re not looking because of the kisses, they’re looking because you’re so red.”

“That’s your fault.”

“Right. Since it’s my fault, want another one?”

Hyun-joon laughed, finding it cute how Ji-woo was blaming him instead of choosing ice cream, and when he lowered his head again, Ji-woo quickly covered his mouth with both hands. It seemed he needed to properly teach him about restraining such behavior in public places. Though he wasn’t sure if Hyun-joon would listen.

“I thought you weren’t choosing because you wanted another kiss.”

“I’ll choose….”

Ji-woo picked out his favorite tangerine-flavored ice cream and another one that combined soft serve and sherbet from the freezer full of ice cream. Then he looked at Hyun-joon as if he was done choosing.

“Just two is enough?”

“Yeah. One for today, one for tomorrow.”

Thinking that if there was more ice cream, maybe Ji-woo would come over Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… every day, Hyun-joon grabbed two more of each that Ji-woo had chosen and added four of his favorite chocolate-coated ice creams to the cart.

Though he wanted to buy the entire freezer and install it on his rooftop, he held back since turning his house into a supermarket didn’t match the atmosphere he was going for.

“You’re buying that much?”

“Yeah. So come over every day. To eat ice cream.”

Instead of kissing him, Hyun-joon lightly tapped Ji-woo’s cheek with his fingertip and headed to the checkout with a grin. Watching his back, the tips of Ji-woo’s ears turned red again.

* * *

Since they bought so much with the lanterns, hooks, and drinks, they didn’t refuse the supermarket’s offer to deliver it right away. Hyun-joon walked out of the supermarket with Ji-woo, feeling light-footed. Somehow his hand felt empty, and he kept clenching and unclenching it while glancing at Ji-woo’s hand.

Though it seemed silly to hesitate about holding hands when they’d already kissed, kisses were kisses and hands were hands. While the kisses in the supermarket somehow went unopposed, he hesitated about holding hands on the street, worried that Ji-woo might really come to dislike him.

I want to hold it though. Ah, would it be okay? What if he hates it? What if he says why do I keep touching him without asking? Ah, then maybe I should ask first?

“Um…”

“Yeah?”

“Hand.”

“…Hand?”

“Can I hold your hand?”

His face felt somewhat hot. Hoping he wasn’t turning embarrassingly red, he clenched and unclenched his hand again, but then warmth slipped between his opening fingers. It was Ji-woo’s hand.

“…You just kissed me without asking, but you can’t hold my hand? It’s not even the first time.”

“Hey, before was… because of the pheromones thing. Now the situation is different.”

Though even then, he’d used the pheromones as an excuse because he wanted to hold his hand.

“So I can just do it without asking?”

“Yeah.”

“Then can I do other things without asking too?”

“Other things…? Like what?”

“Like touching places other than hands… you know, sexy stuff?”

Ji-woo stared blankly at Hyun-joon who was saying ‘sexy stuff’ so casually, then turned his head forward without answering. Hyun-joon kept his eyes on Ji-woo’s profile. He wondered if Ji-woo was angry, but seeing his bright red ears, that didn’t seem to be the case.

“…If we take it slow.”

“Slow? Slow, so if I do it really slow, one thing at a time, I can do what I want?”

This time, watching Ji-woo nod instead of answering verbally, Hyun-joon lowered his head and deeply buried his lips in Ji-woo’s cheek again before pulling away, forgetting they were on the street. A passing older man looked at them like the world was going to ruin, but Hyun-joon couldn’t care less about that.

“I’ll do it slowly, one by one. Tell me if you don’t like something. You don’t have to put up with everything. Just because we’re dating doesn’t mean… you have to accept everything. I’ll accept everything from you, but you don’t have to do the same. If there’s anything you don’t like about me, definitely tell me. I’ll try to fix it.”

“Yesterday you said you’d tell me too if there was anything you didn’t like about me.”

“After thinking about it, since you don’t have any flaws anyway, and there won’t be anything I can’t accept, I probably won’t have anything to say.”

“Come on…. There’s no such thing. Make sure to tell me if you don’t like something, okay?”

“There’s nothing like that. How could there be? How could I dislike anything about you? Everything about you is fine. You have no flaws, I’m telling you.”

Ji-woo laughed softly at Hyun-joon speaking so seriously without any hint of playfulness, and raised his hand to gently stroke Hyun-joon’s cheek. Every time he encountered this blind adoration, he found himself liking Hyun-joon even more. Being loved felt so good, so incredibly good that his heart felt like it might burst.

“But telling each other these things and fixing what needs to be fixed makes a relationship better, right? I don’t want to do things you don’t like. I want to look good to you. I want to show you only my good sides.”

“Why?”

Hyun-joon asked despite already knowing the answer. Even though he knew it made no sense to ask ‘why’ here, he decided to be that weird guy who just wanted to hear Ji-woo’s feelings one more time.

“Why… Because I like you, that’s why.”

He loved how Ji-woo honestly said he liked him. He loved how Ji-woo didn’t scold him for asking something he already knew, and gave him the answer he wanted to hear. He felt like his head might explode from how much he liked Ji-woo.

Hyun-joon lifted Ji-woo’s hand while holding it tightly and pressed his lips firmly against the soft back of his hand. Ji-woo seemed less embarrassed by this and smiled.

“Bread smell.”

Ji-woo stroked Hyun-joon’s head as he kissed his hand, then turned his head toward the wafting smell of bread to look at the bakery. Following Ji-woo’s gaze to the familiar bakery behind the crosswalk, Hyun-joon smiled softly at the memory it brought back.

“Once when I was coming back from the supermarket, I caught your scent and went in there. While waiting for the light to change, I could smell you so strongly. I went in without thinking and bought tons of bread. Castella too.”

“Really? When?”

“When you were following me around. After applying the medicine… I think it was around then. You have no idea how hard the reality hit me after buying castella with my own hands.”

“Then… did you like me since then?”

“I didn’t know it then, but thinking about it now, I probably did. I mean, I wouldn’t have been eating castella thinking about you if I didn’t like you.”

“You ate it thinking about me?”

“…Yeah. Sexy thoughts.”

When he grinned, Ji-woo squeezed his fingers as if telling him to stop, then released the pressure. Though there was some strength in it, it wasn’t enough to hurt or feel threatening, making even that force feel cute.

“While I was like that, you were telling me to live on my own since I’d adjusted to school. Can you imagine how ridiculous that felt?”

“Is that why you were being stubborn then?”

“Hey, what do you mean stubborn? Honestly, I went to school because of you, so you can’t just abandon me. You should take responsibility.”

“Even things that don’t seem right somehow start making sense when you explain them? It’s strange. Is this because I like you too…?”

Watching Ji-woo tilt his head wondering, Hyun-joon wanted to kiss him as they crossed the crosswalk that had turned green. He couldn’t bear how much he wanted to eat his real castella, not just bread. It was hard to control his steps as they kept wanting to speed up from his urgent feelings.

“Let’s hurry home.”

“Why? Did something happen?”

“Yeah, something really big.”

Though he wanted to just throw Ji-woo over his shoulder and run, he worried that would startle him, so he was dying trying to match a pace that wouldn’t be too difficult for Ji-woo.