Saint, You’re So Vulgar!

---

#001 Episode. Wow, Pepper.

Life needed signposts.

Because life is a series of dreadful crossroads where the distinction between path and quagmire is blurry.

Those who walk with overconfidence will eventually flounder in the mud.

And cowards who can’t trust anything will be unable to move forward.

That’s why human life needed signposts.

Asher knew this fact.

What saved him from the terrible quagmire was precisely that signpost.

“Ah.”

That signpost took the form of a girl.

In difficult moments, she would always appear, walking with her light blue hair flowing down.

Then, she would find him hiding in the shadow of an alley and approach.

Afterward, she would kneel to meet his gaze and ask him gently.

“Why are you crying?”

As in, could I help you?

“Is there something sad?”

As in, I will listen to your voice.

“Um… I don’t have a handkerchief. If it’s not too rude, may I wipe your tears with my hand?”

As in, I will collect your tears.

That day was a turning point.

A kindness that some may call shallow changed Asher’s life.

The hand that wiped away his tears became an indelible mark on him.

His aimless life, drifting like a dandelion, finally found direction.

The warmth of the hand extended, the smile with impressive dimples, and the crescent-shaped eyes that bent when she smiled.

Asher was mesmerized by all of it.

From that day on, he chased only that moment.

And finally, today had come.

“Knight Asher Terbion. From today, you are the escort knight for the Saintess.”

Asher reached the end of the path he had walked.

It was something he had longed for over the past ten years.

*

It was late at night.

Asher looked in the mirror, making a serious face.

His black hair was neatly cut.

His eyes were, as always, blue.

When he smiled, he appeared quite approachable.

No one would think his first impression was bad.

He felt immensely satisfied.

So much so that he looked forward to tomorrow.

“Gahaha…!”

As he laughed, a sarcastic voice sounded.

“Are you happy?”

Asher turned his head.

There was a man sitting in the chair of the room with his legs crossed.

Brown hair, stubble indicating he hadn’t shaved, and half-closed eyes.

It was Marvin, his fellow knight who became a knight the same year as Asher.

He clicked his tongue.

“Is that really so good? Standing guard day and night without proper sleep? You want to die doing that?”

“It’s meaningful work. I’m the escort knight for the Saintess, after all.”

“Wow, what a madman.”

Marvin clicked his tongue again.

He continued, as if he couldn’t understand.

“Hey, you know. Just take a look at how Luvena’s escort knights live. That girl can’t handle hysteria and is wasting away to nothing, three of them crying and getting fired, and one has gone bald from stress. You know that being an escort knight leads to baldness? You want to go bald?”

“That’s an exaggeration. And that’s about Luvena’s escort knights.”

“Do you think it’s different with other saintesses? They’ve all grown up spoiled since childhood and are all the same; just bratty. Do you think Luvena is the only one? Judith has some nasty rumors behind her too.”

“Saintess Bershia is different.”

“Oh my, poor dear.”

Marvin clicked his tongue.

But Asher wasn’t intimidated at all by him.

On the contrary, he rebuked Marvin.

“You’re the one who’s pitiful. You’ve never even spoken to the Saintess, and yet you’re blinded by prejudice.”

Indeed, there were many nasty rumors about those called saintesses in the church.

But Asher knew.

Bershia, whom he would serve starting tomorrow, was different.

He could be confident in that.

After all, hadn’t he witnessed her kindness firsthand?

“Why are you crying?”

Bershia was someone who could approach a stranger to help.

She was someone who could wipe a dusty face with her beautiful hands.

That meeting was the first comfort that came into Asher’s dreadful life.

Asher was saved by the hand which Bershia had extended that day, and he found a reason to live.

In other words, he awakened to his calling.

Asher believed that someone like her, who could save others with kindness, should live a long life.

His remaining life existed for that purpose.

“She’s a good person. Actually, she has the least rumors surrounding her.”

“You fool! The fact that she has no rumors means she’s thorough!”

“That’s also an exaggeration.”

Asher smiled brightly, brushing aside Marvin’s slander.

“It’ll be fine. Stop worrying about me and go. It’s about time for lights out.”

“Ugh, I don’t know.”

Marvin continued to slander Bershia without stopping.

Asher laughed it off.

He understood that behind that attitude, there was a lot of affection.

“Good night.”

“If you regret it, don’t come crying to me! Really!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Bang!

With that, the door closed.

Left alone in the room, Asher took a long breath and began to prepare for bed.

He arranged his bedding and hung the uniform he would wear starting tomorrow neatly on one wall.

He leaned his sword against the side of the table and closed the window.

Then he knelt by the window and prayed.

“Holy Father, please let me be a faithful servant, able to protect Your daughter. Keep danger away and let this sword be close at hand.”

If evil comes, let it reach me first….

“…Please allow me to stay close to her.”

After finishing his prayer, Asher opened his eyes with a bright smile.

Stars shone brilliantly outside the window.

Today, he felt a strange certainty that his prayer had been heard.

He could go to bed in a good mood.

As Asher closed his eyes, the thought that arose was this.

“How should I start the first conversation?”

To Asher, Bershia was a great person who changed his life, but to her, he was merely a passerby from long ago.

He couldn’t be too familiar nor too stiff.

As a servant, he should first show his faithfulness.

Yeah, that seemed appropriate.

“From today, I am the escort knight for the Saintess, Asher Terbion.”

A smile spread across his face again.

Then, all at once, sleepiness washed over him.

Having spent the day filled with excitement, perhaps fatigue had accumulated.

“…”

His consciousness quickly faded away.

This was a particularly deep sleep, one that he could describe as unusual.

Zzzz—

Asher felt the loss of consciousness.

His body faded away, free will extinguished, and only his mind was left, drifting in emptiness.

He felt a void that was so terrifying it made him flounder.

He didn’t even know how long those struggles lasted.

Amidst this, he heard a voice.

[It shall be realized.]

That was all.

Morning came.

Slowly lifting his eyelids, Asher felt a strange sensation.

“Saintess! It’s time for you to cough!”

Something was off.

“Saintess? You don’t look well. Did you have a nightmare?”

“…”

Upon opening his eyes, a girl with chestnut bobbed hair called him ‘Saintess.’

‘Am I still dreaming?’

Having a dream about becoming a saintess, could there be a more embarrassing dream than this?

Chuckling, Asher lifted his body.

Then he froze.

“…?”

Everything was strange.

A strange room, unfamiliar furniture, and an unfamiliar body.

But even more strange was what Asher’s gaze landed on, reflected in the mirror.

There, a light blue-haired girl, with elegantly set features and blue eyes, was puzzlingly displaying the most beautiful and benevolent face Asher could remember.

What is this?

Raising a hand to touch his cheek, the girl in the mirror… Saintess Bershia mimicked the same action.

His mind froze.

The contemplation he underwent in that state was long, and in the end, it led Asher to recall the voice he had heard in the dream.

[It shall be realized.]

His complexion turned pale.

A hollow laugh escaped him.

‘No way….’

He thought that, yet why did such certainty well up inside him?

Perhaps it was because he remembered the prayer he had made the day before.

‘…Please allow me to stay close to her.’

That’s what it was.

It seemed God had answered his prayer.

A bit excessively, and physically.

*

After realizing the situation, Asher sprang up and dashed out of the room, leaving behind the girl with chestnut bobbed hair calling his name.

The first thought that came to him in such a situation was of Bershia.

‘I’m in this body, which means right now, she is in that body…!’

The Saintess is here.

Thinking of the bewilderment she must be feeling made his heart race, and he couldn’t afford to stop walking even for a moment.

He ran until he could barely breathe.

As he crossed the church grounds, Asher’s worries only grew.

‘That weak body has likely never faced any hardships!’

He was so frantic he even rationalized why he was out of breath.

Finally, he reached his quarters.

Passing by the startled knights who bowed their heads, he arrived at his door.

It was then that he suddenly burst through!

Thud, Asher’s body came to a standstill.

More precisely, it was the body of Bershia, now moving as Asher, that froze.

A dazed expression spread across her face.

She couldn’t immediately process the visual information.

And it was understandable.

Mumbling—

In front of her, the man who had been herself yesterday was now kneading his groin.

What he was kneading was clear as day.

Her cognitive ability couldn’t keep up with the influx of information.

Amid this, the Asher Trebion in front of her… the one controlling the body gasped.

“Wow, pepper.”

His eyes sparkled.

Asher’s lips curled up into a creaky smile.

‘Please.’

Praying that what he thought wasn’t true, Asher hoped the person in that body would be someone else, and he uttered a word.

It might not have been the way it should be.

“Saintess…?”

“Yes?”

He looked up and stared at Asher.

With eyes saying, “Why do you call me?”

Reuniting with the Saintess was the worst.