Saint, You’re So Vulgar!

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Chapter 39: Are You Already Panting? I Can Do More.

Bershia pressed her lips tightly together.

The moment that question reached her, conflicting emotions surged within her.

She was angry at Asher for not being as she wished, yet at the same time, she felt relief that he wasn’t what she wanted.

She couldn’t even understand this mechanism herself.

But she realized he was a person who shone brighter than she had imagined.

That light was so dazzling that it invoked a sense of defeat in Bershia.

It was ironic.

Though she had fallen in love with him because of that brilliance, the greatest wall blocking her from making progress with him was that very light.

Bershia knew well how different they were in many ways.

And now she had come to understand what was the most different aspect.

Her love was possessiveness.

It was the desire to completely engulf the other, trapping them so they couldn’t escape.

However, Asher’s love was responsibility.

It was the heart that embraced the other even if it meant he’d get hurt.

Bershia would have been fine falling into the abyss if it meant being with him.

But Asher would not allow that.

He would try to pull the other into the light, even if it meant burning himself to ashes.

Yes, just like back then.

In that moment where he hadn’t intended anything yet had been pierced through the heavenly conspiracy, dying as a hole opened up.

Even in the utterly unjust moment, it was that person before her who made her smile as she collapsed, assured of their safety.

‘I don’t want that.’

But he wouldn’t understand.

He was someone who cherished responsibility and sacrifice, so if danger came again, he’d prioritize the other over everything.

Her throat felt dry.

The sight of him smiling so brightly shook her insides.

Why, she had thought that if she had him in her grasp, she could shake things up, yet now she found that might be difficult.

His light was too bright and warm, making her think that one day he might not belong to her anymore.

What happens when you gaze at the sun?

What happens when you reach out to grasp him?

Perhaps there could be destruction.

For the first time, Bershia contemplated such things.

And yet, she couldn’t pull away, caught in confusion.

Squeeze—

Asher tightened his grip on her hand.

He smiled benevolently, as if to reassure her.

Ah, so this is what that feeling was.

Even in this moment, she wanted to mar him and paint him in her colors, but she feared what would come after.

She didn’t have the confidence to overcome him if things turned out differently than she wished.

Thus, Bershia’s answer was withheld.

This time, any answer would leave her regretting.

“…Let’s think about it.”

The excitement she had been feeling finally subsided for the first time.

All she hoped was that he wouldn’t drift away.

That he would remain close to her.

“Ah, thank you!”

At the end of that smile, she always wished it would be her.

Thump—

Her heartbeat carried a light anxiety with it.

* * *

Asher woke up early in the morning.

After entering Bershia’s body, he had been fighting against his morning drowsiness, and finally today, he managed to avoid being woken up by Darlin in a disheveled state.

He was inexplicably proud of it.

After patting his blanket down, the cheerful humming didn’t stop until he washed up and came out.

He changed clothes and sat in front of the mirror to brush his hair.

That feeling of hair being smoothly brushed was pleasant.

Of course, it felt a bit lacking compared to when someone else had done it, but he didn’t let himself acknowledge that.

That was when Darlin appeared.

“Saintess! You’ve groomed yourself…I see…?”

Asher’s pride swelled at the expression of surprise on Darlin’s face.

“Yep, good morning.”

His smirk and sparkling eyes were quite refreshing.

Darlin blinked, then suddenly came to himself and snatched the brush from Asher’s hand.

“I-I’ll do it! If I had known you’d wake up this early, I would have come sooner…!”

“It’s fine! I’ve learned to get up and do it on my own now!”

It was a genuine statement.

Since the last assignment, Asher had become capable of washing himself without difficulty.

Although he was still embarrassed to be seen naked, it didn’t pose a significant barrier to his ability to wash.

A smile spread across his face.

Darlin’s expression turned slightly anxious.

“Y-You don’t need me anymore, do you…?”

“Eek? No way!”

Could it be he had hurt Darlin! Shaking his head vigorously until Darlin’s expression stabilized filled Asher with relief.

Then he entrusted his messy hair to Darlin.

Perhaps Darlin really was better at this; the feeling of hair smoothly sliding through the brush was satisfying.

Asher became drowsy, squinting his eyes, causing Darlin to chuckle.

“By the way, what made you wake up so early?”

“Hmm…? Oh… I just thought it’d be a bit much to always have you waiting on me for my baths….”

“Hmph…”

A playful glint sparkled in Darlin’s eyes.

Asher had no way of knowing how the church perceived his and Bershia’s relationship.

How his actions might have looked when he went to greet her on joint training days.

Though it was a shallow and biased reasoning, Darlin thought this.

Perhaps he was keeping her from the bath because there was a reason he couldn’t show his body.

Thus, was there perhaps some sort of relationship between the two?

Darlin’s gaze moved toward Asher’s cloaked neck.

There was nothing visible.

That meant his imagination was stimulated.

Asher, entirely unaware of any misunderstanding, lazily let Darlin style his hair.

And so, the day began.

It was time to meet with Bershia.

“Good morning.”

“Yes, did you sleep well, Saintess!”

“Eh, somewhat.”

Despite her reply, her complexion revealed her true state.

Bershia was not sporting a particularly refreshed face.

Perhaps she had something on her mind; the area beneath her eyes was slightly darker.

Asher smiled bitterly.

It must have been from yesterday’s conversation.

He steeled himself.

‘No matter what I say, I can’t reassure the Saintess.’

Humans had a strong feedback loop regarding negative experiences.

Asher understood those wounds well.

After all, he still hadn’t forgotten events from over ten years ago.

So, the moment he had collapsed at the hands of the Artificial Witch would forever be a sorrow hard for her to forget.

How could he reassure Bershia?

He thought over it, yet the only immediate answer was one.

‘To convey my heartfelt intentions.’

Asher smiled brightly.

He believed that a genuine smile could save the world.

It was that very smile that had rescued him from the moment he had crumbled pathetically.

Asher still remembered the moment he had extended his hand and wiped away the tears of Bershia.

He knew now that she was different from what she had imagined, but there was no reason for her to be disappointed.

As he had said before, hypocrisy can also be virtue.

It contained the very obvious principle that ‘salvation comes not from words but from actions.’

“Shall we head out, then? The weather is splendid!”

“…And yesterday…”

“I’m sorry for that!”

Bershia’s eyes widened in surprise.

Seeing her, Asher bowed his head and continued.

“I’ve thought too lightly of it. I will be more aware of you worrying for me, Saintess! I won’t let you worry like that again!”

He didn’t expect his feelings would be transmitted all at once.

Slowly, he planned to show it through actions.

What was the first thing he would need for that?

After some deliberation, Asher arrived at an answer.

“Saintess! Let’s go do some strength training!”

“?”

“The way I see it, I’m far too weak according to what the Saintess has said! Ah, I’m not saying you called me pathetic…! I mean that I’m not suited for battle! If I’m panting from running due to my lack of stamina, then how can I ever run away in a real emergency?”

Bright sparks danced in his eyes.

Bershia appeared flustered.

“What do you mean by that…?”

“Come on! I’ll surely dispel your worries! Just trust me and follow along!”

With that, he grabbed her hand.

Bershia’s eyes wavered.

Immediately after, a bittersweet smile formed on her lips.

“Seems like you want to step in until the end.”

She realized she didn’t like it.

That’s why Asher said.

“Just watch!”

He would show her.

That he wasn’t such a weak person, that he wasn’t someone she had to worry about.

And so, he dragged Bershia along.

They started running in the flower garden.

To cut to the chase, that was the conclusion.

“Are you already panting? I can do more.”

“Just a sec, wait…!”

“But you said you’d show me how pathetic you are!”

“Th-that’s haaa…! hii…!”

Bershia’s body showed its lack of stamina.

It was incredibly tough for her—someone who had never run in her entire life—to keep up with someone who had been trained for a lifetime.

Asher wore a miserable expression.

In that mess, perhaps it was a slight relief that Bershia broke into a tired laugh.

Regardless, she smiled, so should he be happy or embarrassed for showing such a sorry state?

“T-this isn’t how it’s supposed to be…!”

“Your effort is commendable, but still…”

“Ugh….”

Asher’s eyes rolled as he suddenly collapsed onto the ground.

* * *

Several days passed.

Asher had ardently engaged in strength training every day, and Bershia watched him with complicated feelings.

However, the rigid atmosphere had definitely softened.

Of course, her attitude and thoughts hadn’t changed.

“Just give up already. Stay out of danger and hide behind me.”

“No wayyy…!”

She chided him to quit.

Though it came off as a joke… Asher felt her sincerity within her words.

There was an undertone of gloom and heaviness he sometimes sensed from her.

That’s why he couldn’t just give up.

It was one of those days.

“Pirates, you say…?”

“Yup! We’ve received intel suggesting a connection between the archipelago’s pirates and heretics! It seems like a significant matter, so go check it out yourself!”

Their next assignment was set.

It was the sea.