Scientific Sorcery : Beware of Kittens!

“Here.” Cali’s nose took us into another, narrower tunnel that led into what was possibly the basement of one of the now collapsed houses. “I smell gold here.”

We stuck the torches into the soft patch of earth nearby and began digging, lugging rocks and pulling wooden beams away.

“What’s a Star-Seeker?” I asked.

"Star-Seekers are an elite order of Felix Arcanicx magi. The original Star-Seekers were the Iridium city founders," she panted, her voice tinged with pride despite her exhaustion. "We're trained from birth to sense traces of magic to locate fragments of the Wormwood Star. Our Auras and noses allow us to detect even the faintest traces of unclaimed celestial energy… or look for precious substances such as gold, in this case.”

"And what do you do with these star fragments once you find them?"

"We bring them back to the Maggelanum for study and use in magical artifacts. The shards are incredibly valuable–they're the source of much of our advanced magical superiority."

"Like your lavalier?" I asked, resuming my excavation.

She nodded. "Exactly! All artefacts contain at least a tiny fragment of the Wormwood Star."

I mulled over this new information. The idea of cosmic fragments imbuing objects with magical properties was fascinating from a scientific standpoint.

"So," I said, hefting another rock aside, "how many of these fragments have you found and brought back home?"

Cali's expression fell slightly. "None, actually. I... I haven't been very successful in my Star-Seeking duties. Even though I have one of the best sleds produced by Iridium Istria Maggelanum I still cannot move as fast as a man can on a flying sword. I came very close to a shard once… but I didn’t get to keep it."

She scratched the triple scar on her face, falling silent and looking very grim.

“Go on,” I encouraged. “Tell me everything.”

“I was brave… and reckless. When I turned seventeen, I graduated from the Iridium Maggelanum and went to search for a Star-Shard in the South-Eastern frozen wastes in my Sleigh. A damned flying Star-Eater barbarian must have noticed me digging it out.” She revealed. “The bastard landed right atop me, making me go deaf and blind from the thunderblast of his arrival. He pried the shard from my hands, swallowed it whole and slapped the shit out of me when I opened my mouth to order him to spit it out. For the first time in my life… I flew over the hill, over trees and skidded across a frozen lake. I thought I was going to die right there in that godforsaken glacier-engulfed wasteland bleeding to death.”

She shuddered, her cat ears flattening against her head. "I lay there for hours, barely able to move, my body broken and bleeding. It took me seven days to crawl back to my sled, surviving on nothing but snow."

I listened intently, suddenly feeling rather concerned about meeting a Star-Eater.

“Why didn’t the Star-Eater eat the comet shard in your necklace too?” I asked her curiously.

“Once a comet’s shard is bound by blood to a noble family at the Maggelanum, it cannot be safely swallowed by an Eater,” Cali revealed. “It becomes contaminated by our Arcanix blood, useless to the Devourers of magic.”

“How long ago was that and did you resume your Star-Searchery after?” I asked.

“That was two years ago,” Cali sniffed. “I… I was too terrified of that Eater following me. I saw him in my nightmares constantly, laughing at me, calling me weak and hitting me… again and again until my body was nothing but a bloody mess. I gave up on looking for comet shards, switched to searching for a mighty barbarian Champion to protect me.”

I squinted at her.

“I spent two years and lots of gold to find you, Ioan. Looking for a bodyguard, someone to stop the nightmares, it… seemed like the easiest way to stay afloat as my body and mind recovered,” she revealed.

“I see,” I said.

"I... I didn't have any other options!” Cali defended herself. “In Iridium, you're either rich and successful or you're nothing. I couldn't bear the thought of being nothing."

I didn’t say anything to that, contemplating her words.

“You… you don’t understand,” she stammered. “The Star-Eater’s mere slap practically killed me! I almost drowned in the Astral Abyss, saw the soul-grinding Wheel of Death beneath me woven from endless star-teeth. My legs were shattered, half of my body was paralyzed and my soul was hanging on by a thread!”

“How did you stay alive at all then?” I asked, pulling more oversized rocks from the pile of rubble.

“My lavalier kept me alive, tethered my soul to my body,” Cali revealed. “It has binding, protective and healing enchantments woven into it–without it, I would have frozen to death within hours.”

“Well, that’s too bad because I’m planning to take it apart,” I commented.

“W-what?” Cali choked. “Y-you can’t do that! My lavalier is worth more than all of the gold we’re going to dig out from this corpse town!”

I arched an eyebrow at her.

"Please, Ioan," she implored, her blue eyes wide with desperation. "If I lose the Liesl lavalier I’m as good as dead! As... as shameful as it is to admit, my family will buy me and the lavaliere back from you in a private sale if you just bring me back to Iridium. You… you'll be rich beyond your wildest dreams!"

I paused in my digging, leaning on my shovel as I considered her words. I glanced at Stormy, perched on my shoulder, her violet eyes squinted with what I could only interpret as mistrust and skepticism.

"Hss-rrr-wr-mrrow," the kitten shook her head before I even asked the question.

"Sorry, Cali," I said, turning back to the merchant. "But I'm not interested in dealing with your family or anyone else in Iridium.”

Cali's eyes widened in panic. "Wait! I... I could offer you more. Much more!" She licked her lips nervously. "A harem of slaves, all yours to command. As many servants as you desire! A hundred obedient legionnaires and gladiators, ready to die for you. Anything you want, any mortal you desire! Fame, power, wealth–I can make it happen with my words! Please!!! Just give me back my lavalier!"

"You really don't get it, do you?” I said. “I'm not interested in fame or harems. Figuring out exactly how your mind control necklace works–that's far more valuable to me than any number of brainwashed servants."

Cali's composure crumbled entirely, something inside her snapped. She slid to her knees in the dirt, tears streaming down her face.

"Please," she begged with wide eyes clasping her hands together. "I'll... I'll be your first wife! I'll do anything you ask, anything at all! Just please, don't take my lavalier apart. I cannot do sorcery without it! I’m exhausted, cold and hungry and about to keel over from lifting too many rocks. I can’t keep digging much longer… if you just gave it back to me for a bit! I’d do a much better job digging gold, be a much more effective servant! Please!!!”

Stormy let out a deep growl of mistrust.

I looked down at Cali, my expression impassive. Part of me felt a twinge of pity for her, but I quickly squashed it. This was the same merchant who had been ready to enslave me without a second thought.

“That was the worst marriage proposal I’ve ever heard,” I said. “I don't have a single reason to trust you, Miss First-Wife. Besides, my mind’s already made up–your lavalier is getting disassembled, so quit whining about it.”

Cali collapsed into sobs.

“Maybe next time, don't build your entire identity around a magical mind control device, hmm?" I added.

I ignored the distraught merchant girl, resuming my digging.

“I've got a multitude of plans, see. And they don't involve getting caught up in your world's politics or slave trade,” I said as I finally reached an iron-studded case and pulled it from the rubble.

With a swing of my violet-tinted shovel that made Cali twitch I obliterated the lock. I opened the case revealing around a few hundred gold coins mixed with rubies and silver.

"What about all this treasure we're digging up?” Cali whined. “Surely you want to use it for something?”

I shrugged, moving the case to the cart. "Oh, I've got plans for it. Just not the kind you're thinking of.”

“I don’t understand, what in Goldara’s name do you want, Ioan?” the feline merchant cried. “How could you possibly understand how my lavalier works by taking it apart? You’ll just end up breaking it and learn nothing at all! I already told you–male cultivators cannot use comet shards that were aligned to a female line!”

I let her rant on.

“You’re a wild hedge-sorcerer of some kind living in the middle of freaking nowhere! You can’t even read! I’d be much more useful to you as a weapon if you just let me wear it! If you want to learn about it, I can more or less explain how artefacts like it are made!” She cried.

“Oh you will explain it all to me while I take it apart,” I replied. “Come on, we have gold to bring back home.”

At my order Cali gritted her teeth and slowly crawled out of the rubble-filled room on all fours. Reaching me, she collapsed onto the frozen ground, her body shaking from exhaustion and cold. Despite her feline appearance, she looked more like a drowned cat than a noble Star-Seeker Sorceress.

"You done?" I asked.

Cali merely whimper-nodded in response, eyes glazed over with fatigue.

I sighed, considering that I might have pushed her too far.

Despite my mistrust and anger towards her, I couldn't help but feel a small twinge of guilt. She was, after all, just a product of her noble upbringing and society, much like I was a product of a biochemist’s memories existing in the body of a Nordstaii teenager.

I picked up the merchant’s limp body from the ground, placing her over my shoulder.

Whistling, I began making my way back up to the pub.