Second dimensional mercenary

Second-Dimensional Mercenary Volume 1, Chapter 2

Thud.

My hand, holding the ramen, stopped.

Words flickered on the screen, appearing and disappearing, capturing my attention.

Hope

Desire

Frustration

Resentment

Sorry, Mom

Do you want to get a job, even if it means selling your soul?

“…Whoa.”

Something inside my chest stirred.

It was like tapping on an empty earthen jar.

A soundless reverberation spread through my chest like I had touched a steel landscape.

I’m sorry. Next time, I’ll…

I wanted to do well…

Give me a chance, a chance! Please!

I don’t care anymore…

If you’re really desperate, if you’ll do anything…

The background was a dull gray.

Faces with deep shadows flickered in and out of view.

In the center of the screen, a clear main text appeared.

Do you want to get a job?

How many times is this already?

I’m tired. I want to give up…

What’s life… anyway.

No! I don’t want this! I hate it!

Let’s stop seeing each other now.

Haha! Yeah, go! I’m single again!

The gloomy and frustrated lament faded, and white text appeared across the screen.

The story of the unemployed, the job seekers who gave up, the people burdened by the world’s frustrations because they couldn’t get a job.

A simple, almost childish concept of extremes, but still an undeniable strange resonance.

Do you want to get a job?

Do you want to get a job, even if it means selling your soul?

If so, you’ve come to the right place.

The job information site Yeongpali is for those like you, who are desperate to find work, even if it means selling your soul.

We will provide you with a job that suits you, one where you can maximize your abilities, a high-paying job.

The only requirement is your desperation, nothing more.

Do you wish to proceed to this site? Accept / Decline

…Click.

“Ugh.”

Without realizing it, I had already pressed accept.

Ding!

Startled, I quickly turned off my phone.

“Hey, hey, get it together. No, no way.”

I lightly tapped my forehead, trying to regain my composure.

Desperation? Just that is enough? Sounds good. But there’s no place that talks about ‘desperation’ like that that’s actually legitimate.

As I near thirty, the only thing I’ve learned from this world is doubt. This world isn’t an easy place.

A high-paying, stress-free job? Where in the world is such a place? Nine out of ten of those are scams. And the remaining one? It’s a pyramid scheme.

I have a few friends. They’re not exactly dumb, but scammers are all about talking their way through things. A somewhat smart college student is a piece of cake for them.

You don’t realize it until it’s too late, when it finally feels weird and you think, ‘Wait a minute,’ but by then, it’s already too late. Time and money are both wasted. And even when you regret it later, that’s still the lucky case. There are people who lose their health, their loved ones, and have their families fall apart.

Just one of the people I know, working so hard in a pyramid scheme… Ahahaha. Let’s not talk about that. Damn bastard.

“Let’s just eat ramen.”

Flick!

I shook my head, trying to shake off the sudden wave of depression, and I slid the used gift coupon closed with my finger.

The clock was pointing west, where the Dalma had arrived. When it struck nine, I got up from my seat.

“Maybe I should go back now. It should be fine by now, right… Ah, damn.”

As I assessed the situation, I sighed at the habitual instinct to back down.

Why am I doing this? Lately, I keep avoiding my father more and more. I have nothing I can proudly show, so I keep shrinking back… this is a problem. Every day, I feel like my self-esteem is being chipped away.

“Ah, now that I think about it, this is really being intimidated.”

Intimidated. If I put it in more complicated terms, it would be something like this.

Learned helplessness.

Let’s say there are two dogs, one A and one B.

It’s similar to Pavlov’s dog experiment, but this one was designed by a psychologist named Seligman. The dogs are tied up, and instead of food, they’re given electric shocks.

Dog A is trained to learn motivation.

They show a red light, then give a strong electric shock. When the dog jumps up, the shock stops.

If they keep training like this, dog A will reflexively jump when it sees the red light. And, over time, they’ll gain the confidence that they can overcome obstacles by trying.

On the other hand, dog B is shown the red light, and the electric shock continues.

No matter how much it jumps, dances, or struggles, the shock keeps coming. Eventually, this dog learns to do nothing. It accepts the shock, realizing it cannot resist.

It’s not just dogs, though. People can do the same. If they’re constantly exposed to frustration and stress that they can’t do anything about, they eventually learn helplessness.

That’s exactly what being intimidated is. Losing confidence in everything, finding it hard to step up, constantly watching for the reactions of superiors.

Eventually, even the things they could do before, they can’t do anymore. When fear and helplessness combine, the mind rots.

“Ah— I really need to do something.”

I know full well, but I keep going down that path. Even though I can clearly see what will happen if I keep going like this, there’s no way out.

The reason I can’t even resist… is because the person who’s hurting me the most is my father.

The person who loves me the most in this world. The person who would give his life to protect me.

“It’s ironic, really.”

Because he loves me, he can’t stand seeing me in such a pathetic state. He keeps pestering me, giving me hints, making everything exhausting. It’s a vicious cycle.

That destroys a child. The extreme stress. I want to shout and rebel, but because it’s my father, I end up saying, ‘I understand.’

And then I give up, telling myself it’s inevitable. When this repeats, I end up following the path of dog B I mentioned earlier.

Learning helplessness, being intimidated and pathetic. I can’t even do the things I could do before, and eventually, my abilities themselves disappear.

And it all happens because of my father’s love.

Isn’t that ironic?

Ding ding!

Lost in thought, I was walking slowly when a text came in.

…Oppa, I’m going crazy.

…Huh?

There’s nothing else to say ㅠㅠ

The message from my sister Yeonwoo was short and simple.

“…Whoa. What is this?”

A chill ran down my spine.

I was already tense, but what is this? It looks like my father’s anger hasn’t cooled down, and if anything, it’s probably gotten worse…

“Ah, damn it. I don’t know.”

I don’t even know anymore. I told you earlier, right? When helplessness repeats, you learn to accept defeat and give up.

With a clean feeling, I entered the house.

Give up. It’s easier that way. Oh, Mr. An. Talking to myself like this while opening the front door…

I felt it. Today felt different.

Creeeek… Clank!

The inside of the house… was worse than I expected. As the heavy iron door slammed shut behind me, I almost collapsed.

Broken items, alcohol bottles, shattered windows, and TV. The living room to the entrance was completely in disarray.

“…Whoa…”

What is this? Is our house a drama set? I carefully stepped forward, worried I might get hurt, and opened the bedroom door.

As usual, my father was there. He was facing away in the dark, without turning on the lights.

“…I’m home.”

“…You’re home. Go wash up and eat. No, before that, I should probably clean up first.”

His voice was low and calm. This wasn’t what I expected. I was bracing for a loud scolding, but I only flinched my shoulders slightly.

“…I’ll do it.”

I closed the door and walked into the living room, letting out a big sigh.

‘Thank goodness. Looks like the worst part is over.’

There were scattered fragments of furniture all over the house.

It seems like these guys took the brunt of my father’s anger before I did. I should pray for their souls.

“But what happened? This has never happened before…”

My father has a bit of a temper, but he’s never been violent like this. In the 30 years I’ve lived, I’ve never seen my father explode like this…

“…I have.”

“Ahhh!”

I was startled by the gloomy voice from behind and froze in fear.

It was my younger sister Yeonwoo. Sitting in a corner of the living room, Yeonwoo had the same hollow look in her eyes as our father.

“Y-You scared me. Don’t do that from behind.”

I clenched my teeth and quietly yelled.

Yeonwoo looked at me and sighed.

“Such a good mood. The house is a complete mess.”

“Yeah, I know…”

“Minsoo came by.”

A sharp pain. Something poked through my sock as I stepped, probably a broken bottle shard.

I carefully sat down on a chair and took off my sock. Ah, it’s bleeding.

“Why that bastard?”

In my quiet voice, Yeonwoo shook her head.

“I don’t know. Maybe he came to brag.”

“Brag? That bastard, bankrupt and ruined, came to brag?”

“It’s from back in the day. He was driving a Lexus, wearing Armani. It was so flashy I couldn’t even look at him.”

“…Where did he get the money?”

Yeonwoo looked at me with empty eyes and said,

“If you’re curious, ask him yourself. He’s your friend.”

“Friend, my ass…!”

“Enough. It’s too loud in the middle of the night.”

Just as I was about to snap, I was interrupted by a sound from behind.

‘Dad?’

I froze. Our aging father, with his hoarse voice.

“Clean up the house. I’m going out for a bit.”

“Y-Yes…”

A couple of times, he cleared his throat, shook his head, and staggered out of the house.

I stood there, dazed, then asked,

“Dad… did you cry?”

“A bit.”

“Because of Minsoo?”

“Yeah.”

Crunch!

I ground my teeth.

I thought it was a relief, but it wasn’t. I didn’t face any shouting, trouble, or chaos, but my mood is a hundred times worse.

Honestly, it would be better to just be beaten like a dog. My father… seeing our father cry quietly!

“…Do you know Dog’s number?”

“Dog?”

“That bastard.”

“…Just clean up. Don’t cause any more trouble.”

Yeonwoo sighed and picked up the broom and dustpan.

Crunch. Scrape.

She swept up the broken household items and glass shards. I stood there, blankly watching her, then got up.

“Where are you going?”

“To the pharmacy. My foot’s hurt.”

It’s true, my socks are soaked with blood. As I wrapped it up and put on my shoes, Yeonwoo called me.

“Oppa.”

“Yeah?”

“Say it nicely.”

“…Okay.”

“Do we not have any money?”

“…I know.”

I forced myself to hold back a snide remark and opened the front door.

Like Yeonwoo said, we don’t have money. So…

Clank! Bang!

The front door’s iron gate makes a loud noise.

‘So I can’t even be mad. I know.’

I know, but… it feels disgusting.

“Hey, over here!”

An older man raises his hand from a stinky indoor food stall. As I looked around, I sat down in front of him with a dazed expression.

Is this the guy I was supposed to meet?

“Living life, you come across all sorts of things. You wanted to see me.”

The weathered man grins and pops the top off a soju bottle.

I chuckle and nod.

“Yeah. It’s been a while. Sorry about that.”

“Sorry? I should be the one sorry. My father bragged a lot about yours, you know?”

Clink.

I took the glass and sighed deeply.

“…Did you hear?”

“I didn’t hear, but I can tell just by looking. Your face looks awful.”

Hahaha!

The man laughs, showing his yellow teeth.

His balding head and his dark, weathered face. Hard to believe he’s thirty, my age.

“Face, you say… Look at you, your face is completely gone, man. I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“Heh, it’s all experience. The sun during a round of golf, you try getting sun exposure twelve months a year, and you’ll get as dark as me.”

Clink clink clink!

This man’s name is Lee Ji-gyeong. He used to live next door, my long-time bad friend.

He wandered around for a while, but now he works as a golf course caddie, the guy who shouts ‘Fore!’ to the boss. But despite being called a lackey, he earns 5,000 a year, which is more than a typical college graduate’s starting salary.

Damn, thinking about it, he probably earns more than someone in a big company. Maybe I should just give up on job hunting and become a caddie.