Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

“This was a great idea, Ben.” May said as I spread the blanket out for us to sit on.

“You haven't been outside the apartment any more than I have.” I said and sat down as I took off the backpack. “I think we both needed this.”

May nodded and sat beside me and helped me unpack the food containers. “I still can't understand how you became such a good cook so quickly.”

“Blank slate.” I said and tapped my temple. “I warned you that you should train me however you wanted me to act around the house and that I was okay with it all.”

May put the container down and hugged me. “You've already taken over the whole apartment! What else was I supposed to do with you?”

I couldn't stop my grin. “You never did deny that you're my girlfriend.”

May blushed and laughed at the same time. “I'm your aunt!”

“Still not a denial.” I joked and she swatted my hand and hugged me.

We carried on and ate the leftovers from the meals I had made all week. The food was good, even cold like it was, and we both had a great time.

When we were done, we packed up and walked over to the library. May was a real sport and let me check out a few books on acrobatics and one on exercises for weightlifters. I also checked the newspapers for any major events within the last few years and didn't come up with anything. That meant I really was years ahead of the knowledge I had and I could pretty much do whatever I wanted.

Just for fun, I looked at the college math books that were above my current high school books that I had blown through. It wasn't as easy as the rest of them, so I knew I did have to learn the normal way when acquiring new knowledge. The cooking books had been a fluke, apparently. I only checked one of the college books out, because I had school the next day.

We did stop and grab a few groceries for me to make some dishes for supper, mainly because I had warned May that I might not be smart enough to stay in the advanced class. When she protested, I told her I would have to drop the academic decathlon team because I just didn't have the knowledge to stay current.

May looked sad as she hugged me. “You do what you think is best.”

“Thanks, May.” I said and kissed her cheek. “I'm sorry I have to disappoint you again.”

May shook her head and kissed my cheek several times. “You're not a disappointment, Ben. Not at all.”

“I know you keep looking at me and hoping that the old Peter will come back.”

May looked surprised for a second, then she kissed my cheek and held it or several seconds. “I'm only seeing if you're okay and if you are remembering anything. I would never force you to try and be Peter again.”

“So, if I never remember, you'll be okay with that?” I asked.

May sighed. “I hate the thought that you think I'm exchanging one of you for the other.” She said and gave me a concerned look. “Whoever you are, or are becoming, you're still the only family I have left.”

I looked into her eyes and had to smile. “Are you saying that being my girlfriend is still on the table?”

May laughed and let me go. “Put the fresh mushrooms back and grab the can. We're still on a budget.”

“Dammit.” I said and she watched me make the switch. “We're still getting the family size box of rice.”

“We'll save money on bulk, so go ahead and grab it.” May said and looked at the list. “We have to compromise on the chicken. We'll get pieces with the bone and you have to strip the meat from them.”

“Not a problem.” I said and grabbed the large pack of chicken thighs. “I can do them all at once and freeze the pieces I don't use right away.”

“Or put them into a huge soup pot.” May said and pointed at the twenty pound bag of potatoes.

I grabbed them and added them to the cart. “Thanks a lot for doing this.”

May reached out to touch my back. “Ben, you've taken over the cooking and by my calculations, we've already saved about fifteen percent on our normal weekly food budget.”

“Cool!” I said and we kept shopping.

Many compromises were made and the meals I could make as a result would have to be made to last, the same as I had stretched out everything like last week. Leftovers were a food budget's best friend. We even splurged a bit and bought some fresh fruit for me to make a cobbler that we could cut up and serve for multiple meals over the next month.

We went back to the apartment and unpacked everything, froze what needed to be frozen, and I prepared what we were going to have for supper. May hovered nearby and watched as I made Spaghetti Bolognese. I made a huge pot full of the sauce, because you didn't combine the pasta and sauce until it was to be served.

I made enough pasta for us to eat right then and a bit extra for May to take to work for lunch. I put the rest of the sauce on the counter to cool and we ate a very delicious meal.

“Ben, this is wonderful!” May said and rolled some spaghetti into the sauce on her plate and sucked it up like a vacuum.

I chuckled at her making a mess while she enjoyed it. I used a paper towel to dab at her chin and she grinned at me. “Do I need to get you a bib, Miss Parker?”

May laughed and picked up a piece of spaghetti to toss at me, which I caught it in my mouth and sucked it right in. “Nice one, Ben!”

“I think I'm a natural Spaghetti Slurper, just like you.” I joked as she picked up another piece and threw it. I let it slap against my forehead and splatter a bit. “That's cheating! My mouth is way down here!”

May laughed again and kept eating.

We finished up and we both washed and dried the dishes.

“Ben, are you sure you're ready for school tomorrow?” May asked me as we put the dishes away.

“As ready as I'll ever be.” I said with a shrug.

“That could mean so many things.”

“I know. I won't know how far out of sync with knowledge I'll be until I'm in each class.” I responded. “If it's too much for me to handle, I'll ask the teachers what I need to do to catch up to the others.”

May put the silverware down and took me into a hug. “Don't just assume that all of the responsibility is on your shoulders.”

I thought about saying that it was, because I knew what was supposedly coming in a few years. The problem was, who would I warn and would they believe a kid that was still a first year high school student? Not a single person. Well, no one that wouldn't arrest me and take me away from May and my new life for knowing things I shouldn't.

So, I kept my mouth shut and nodded.

“I'm glad.” May said and let me go. “If anything happens, you call me at work, okay?”

“Sure.” I said and then smiled. “I need the phone number, this apartment's phone number, and probably a map of how to get to school.”

May gave me a blank look for a few seconds, then she sighed. “You really can't remember anything.”

“Nope.” I said with a grin. “Sucks to be me, doesn't it?”

May huffed and smiled. “I'll write out what I think you need to know later tonight.”

“We're doing movie night, so it'll have to wait.” I said and took her hand. “Someone was a great sport today and let me do whatever I wanted.” I led her over to the couch. “I think there's a movie or something that you wanted to see.”

“You really are a different person.” May said and gave me a happy look. “Peter would never watch anything even close to what I wanted to watch.”

“I understand the need to sacrifice for the people you care about.” I said and sat down as I pulled her down to sit next to me. “Now cuddle up and I'll sleep while you enjoy the show.”

May laughed and put her arm over my shoulder and let me tuck in next to her. She turned on the television and changed the channel to where she wanted it. I made loud snoring noises right away and she tickled me to get me to stop teasing her.

We spent the rest of the evening watching what she wanted and we both had a good time.

*

“Damn, this place is huge.” I said as I looked at the large building.

I did my best to ignore the kids and the stares, mainly because I had no clue who were Peter's friends and who were assholes. Not that it mattered. I wasn't Peter anymore. I walked in through the front doors and took out the small notepad and flipped to the right page for school things.

“Office... office...” I muttered and found the directions. Once again I ignored the people in the hallways and kept following the directions that May had written down for me.

“Hey, dickwad!” A voice called out.

I ignored it and kept walking, since obviously they weren't talking about me. I did feel a light niggling feeling at the back of my skull, though.

“I'm talking to you, Parker!” A harsh voice spat and I spun around to avoid his hand grabbing my arm.

A few people in the hallway stopped talking to stare at me.

“I'm busy ignoring you right now.” I said and memorized his face to beat the hell out of later.

“Listen, you vacuum-tubed brain in a world full of microchips...” The brown-skinned boy started to say.

“You are a prime candidate for natural deselection.” I interrupted him.

More than a few of the students in the hallway chuckled.

The boy looked like he didn't like people laughing at him. “You can't insult me like that! I'm the smartest student in this school!”

“It doesn't help you by being a titanic intellect in a world full of icebergs.” I responded and that gained more laughs. “Next you're going to say 'wait until my father hears about this' or some such drivel.”

The boy looked angry now. “You're going to regret saying that, Parker.”

“I don't think so. Any connection between your perception of reality and mine is purely coincidental.”

That seemed to surprise him and he didn't respond.

“Since your mouth stopped moving, I'll assume you're done contributing to the world's overabundance of noise problem.” I said and turned around and started walking away. “You can go bother someone else now, whoever you are.”

“H-h-hey! You know my name, Parker!” The boy shouted.

“Nope. Don't know it, don't care to.” I said and checked the notepad. I walked down another hallway and saw the door. “They should have put the office near the main entrance and made this a lot easier.” I said as I opened it.

“Then people visiting the school wouldn't see what they are paying good money for.” A woman's voice responded and I saw a brunette sitting behind a high counter. “What can I do for you?”

“I've got a couple of things, so I hope you won't mind being busy for the next half an hour.” I said.

“It's my job to help students. I won't mind, as long as you aren't wasting my time.”

“Outstanding.” I said and took out a list I had written out. “In case you didn't notice.” I turned my head and pointed to the bald spot and the scar there. I had to recreate it with make-up because it had healed. “I fell and hurt my head last week and now I have amnesia.”

“Oh, dear.” The woman said, her face sad.

“I don't remember anything, like my locker combination, where it is, my homeroom, my classes, or anything else.” I said and passed her the list. “I would appreciate it if you could fill this out for me.”

She accepted the paper and quickly read through it.

“Oh! Is there any way to change my preferred name?” I asked and took off my backpack to open the side pocket. “Here's my student ID and what I could find in my room.”

The woman nodded and took what I handed to her. “What name would you rather be called?”

I chuckled at the apprehension in her voice. “It's not a made up name or anything. Just the short version of my middle name, Ben.”

She looked relieved and we spent the next twenty minutes going over my records since I started at the school. She gave me my class schedule, my locker combination, and even an unofficial map of the school. Surprisingly, it was better detailed than the plans I had looked up at the library. I even found out her name was Mary Strickland.

“It's a copy of the emergency fire escape plan.” Mary said and handed me my list back and most of it was filled out. “If you have any problems, please come and see me at any time.”

“Can I have a permanent hall pass and class excuse note?” I asked and she raised her eyebrows at me. “With an open invitation like that to visit a pretty woman, how can I not take full advantage of it?”

Mary blinked her eyes several times before she spoke. “That's... not what I meant.”

I grinned at her. “Is that a no for the hall pass?”

Mary opened her mouth to say something, then gave me a skeptical look as she printed out two things. “Don't abuse that.” She advised me as she handed me the permanent hall pass. It was even laminated. “It's not a get-out-of-jail free card.”

“It is if you use it properly.” I said and she squinted her eyes at me. “I promise to only use this awesome power for good. I swear.”

Mary's eyes went back to normal and she passed me the second thing. “The class excuse note has markings for the teachers to keep track of attendance. If you abuse it by being late too many times...”

“I give the same promise, because I sincerely hope that I won't have to use it after today and will get used to finding my classes again before too long.” I said and tucked the excuse into my shirt pocket. “I assume I have to bring it back at the end of each week for you to check?”

Mary smiled and made a note of it. “That is a great idea, Mr. Parker. Thank you.”

I slapped a hand over my face and groaned. “Dammit! I was foiled by my need to be accommodating to beautiful women again!”

Mary couldn't stop her girlish laugh.

I dropped my hand from covering my face and held it out to her. “I really can't thank you enough for all of the help you've given me this morning, Mary.”

Mary stood and took my hand to shake it. “I was glad to...” She stopped talking when I didn't shake her hand and her eyes widened with surprise when I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed the back of it.

“That's merely a down payment, dear lady.” I said and let her hand go, then walked backwards toward the office door. “I have to get to class, so I bid you a fond farewell! Have a great day!”

Mary just stared at me and I reached back, turned the handle and opened the door without looking, then I bowed as I walked backwards into the hallway and closed the door again.

I held in my laugh at the look on her face and waved through the window in the door. She waved back only a little and I walked down the hallway with laughter bubbling in my throat. I managed to get to the next hallway before it escaped and I laughed out loud.

I had played up the rich noble act, just to diffuse the situation from me joking about coming to visit her for something else besides school things. It might have worked a little too well, though. She looked absolutely stunned and that was damn funny.

I checked the map that we had marked with my classes and I walked at a fast pace towards my homeroom. I saw a young woman sitting on a comfortable chair at the side of the hallway and I held out my hall pass to show it as I approached her. She was a pretty blonde and had a badge that said 'Hall Monitor' on it.

Her sharp eyes latched onto the pass in my hand and she gave me a quick little nod without saying anything. I nodded back and walked passed her to go to my homeroom class.