Shadow of the First Sin

"I knew you would return to us!" Her hug was weak, and her touch was cold. While she called me her son, it was clear she did not recognize me; she was hugging a stranger.

"Now everything can go back to the way it was..." she whispered, her eyes closing as she fell into a deep slumber in my arms.

I gently laid her cold body down and covered her with a warm blanket. I sat next to her, staring at her pale face for some time. She seemed to be at peace for the first time since seeing her today.

On the nightstand beside her bed was a teacup. The smell wafting from it was strong, with a hint of alcohol. Next to the tea was a pouch labeled "sleep medicine," and an empty bottle of rum lay on the floor.

"Oh, Mother, what have you done to yourself?" I silently remarked as the situation became clear.

The nightstand's lower shelves were lined with rum, wine, and moonshine bottles. The upper shelves were filled with the same sleep medicine and a pouch containing valerian, an herb used to ease insomnia and anxiety. It was ironic that she relied on something that shared my name, the very name of the person who drove her to such desperation. It was my fault she was heavily medicated and drunk each day. If only I could help her somehow.

Next to her pillow was a piece of paper—the letter she had mentioned, the main cause of her suffering. I quietly took it and inspected it closely. The envelope was crumpled and addressed, "To my son, Valerian."

As I opened the letter, the paper was crumpled, and some of the words were smudged with tears. It was clear that the letter had been read many times, perhaps even every day. I took a deep breath and began to read.

Dear Valerian,

My beloved son,

As I write this, my heart aches with the knowledge that soon, the world will forget you. A world without you will be a darker place, and the lives you touched will be forever changed. I write this letter to hold onto you, to keep a part of you with me, even when memories of you fade into darkness.

From the moment you were born, I knew you would grow up to be extraordinary. When they took you from my arms, I thought no pain could be greater, but writing this letter proved me wrong. How can I say goodbye to you when I have just met you, and tomorrow, you will be forever lost?

My dearest Valerian, if you are reading this, it means you have returned to us, and my prayers have been answered. It means that somewhere, deep within, you are searching for the fragments of the past, for the love that we shared. Know that my love for you has never waned, and that is the one thing that cannot be erased, no matter the magic or power at play. The world may forget, but my love for you is eternal.

My wish for you is to forgive yourself. I know just how kind-hearted you are, and no matter how you find us, you must remember us the way we once were. I wish for you to forget about us, just as we will forget about you. It is the only way for you to move forward; do not let the shadows of the past dim your light.

The world will forget who you were, but it will also get to know who you will become. When everyone forgets you, you must never lose sight of who you are. Don't be swayed by the prophecies of old, and don't let others tell you who you are meant to be. Be the good boy I know you are.

With all my love,

Your Mother

As my tears soaked the piece of paper, the letters, already smudged by my mother's tears, became even more unreadable. I clutched that piece of paper close to my heart as if my life depended on it. How can I let you go when you still cling to my memory, even when you don't remember me? How can I move forward when I know you're still anchored in the past? How can I show the world who I am when I no longer know myself?

I held her cold hand and pondered for a while.

An idea came to mind, one that would undo everything I had done and put me back on the path destiny had prepared for me. I desperately yearned for freedom; when I achieved it, I never felt more trapped. Maybe this is the way my life is supposed to play out, forever bound by destiny's leash. If I have to be destiny's pawn for the rest of my life, so be it. But my family won't be entangled in that web anymore. From this day forward, it is just me and destiny; may the stronger prevail.

I clenched my fist and let every single emotion surge forward. First came the anger; memories of my childhood spent in a locked room sent shivers down my spine. I recalled the corner where I spent most of my days, my back against the wall so I wouldn't be caught off guard. Strangers often barged in and dragged me by my arms; I fought, but I was too weak. There was a table where I was chained face down. It was a white room, and I only saw it when I entered and when I left, my consciousness was long gone. I believed they tortured me, but Lucius's words still ring clear today, "Torture is for those with ugly souls, but you, dear Valerian, are beautiful." Because of my golden wings, he would dissect the flesh on my back almost daily, claiming it was for research and I should be brave and honored. At first, I was scared, and then I became brave; but no child should be brave when fear is the only reasonable emotion when facing the horrors I did.

Then I grew up, and they could no longer control me. I used the fear they instilled in me as a child against them. I sought freedom, and I achieved it, at least for a little while.

Afterward, happiness ensued. I found everything I had ever yearned for—a family. All the shattered pieces had finally begun to mend into a beautiful painting, one that I planned to live the rest of my life in. But everything beautiful is destined to one day break; the painting of a perfect life shattered again, and I was left to pick up the pieces. Along the way, I had a chance to offer a life without heartbreak to those I love, a life without me, and so I took it. Now, I am here again, in a place where I found happiness and lost it all over again, trying to mend their broken lives.

As all my emotions seemed to blend into one, a thin layer of shadows emanated from the top of my fingertips.

"I know you haven't left me, because just like me, you have no one. You were right all along; you and I are the same. So I ask you to become my shadow once more," I whispered. As I spoke, all the shadows in the room came alive, assuming humanoid figures without faces. Slowly, they began walking into me, one by one, feeding my shadow, which grew larger by the minute.

A familiar sensation ran through my spine as two black-feathered wings were reborn. Shadows I had once forsaken now danced atop my palm. To lift the curse that plagued my mother's life, I needed to free her from me and fulfill her wish as written in the letter; I had to let my family go.

Grabbing the last piece that bound my mother's life to me, I placed the letter in my palm and watched as the shadows devoured it. Everything that is consumed by darkness is eventually forgotten, and this letter was the last reminder of me in my mother's heart. By tomorrow, I would be forever erased from her mind.

"Next time you wake up, your life will finally be free of me. I love you, now and forever," I whispered, kissing my mother's forehead for the last time. Then, I slipped through the window as my wings carried me into the unknown.