Sleeping Princess

 

We all watched as Yuko-chan disappeared into the school. With a kick to the dirt, So-chan turned my way.

“What the hell is her problem?”

Annoyed, the shark approached me with both her hands on her hips.

“Alright, what happened this time, Madoka-chan?”

I scratched my cheek, not even sure myself.

"This is probably more about what happened between her and Mari, rather than me and her, everyone…"

Saki-chan perked up and rushed over to me. Her arms waved animatedly like a peacock trying to get the attention of its mate. It was kind of adorable if I had to be truthful.

“Y-You mean that Mari, Madoka-chan?!”

Saki asked, still flapping her arms like a bird.

“Ah… yes, Saki-san, that Mari.”

Suddenly, all the girls surrounded me. They were all worried about Yuko-chan and this was the first time something regarding Mari affected all of them like this. Mae-chan was the first to speak up.

 

 

 

“What do you mean, Mado-chan?”

My childhood friend crowded me and I wanted to grab her face and push her away. But I restrained myself and continued.

“It’s a long story. How about we all get together, and have lunch and I can explain it to everyone? I… think it’s about time you all knew anyway.”

We’ve all been through a lot together, and I figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to tell them my situation. I trusted everyone here to know my feelings. Who knows, they could probably help me solve the problems between Yuko-chan and my past.

Yuko-chan was going above and beyond to avoid me this time. She wouldn’t even answer my text. I assumed she must be really worried about what happened between us in the past. Maybe she was feeling guilty? I wouldn’t know unless I sat down and chatted with her.

“Yeah, if you all don’t mind. Could we all talk about this?”

Saya-san smiled brightly.

“If it will help our Yuko-chan, of course, Madoka-san. We could even use the fine arts club to have a discussion today."

Saki-chan and the rest nodded. It seemed everyone was on the same page, and that warmed my chest. Mae took the chance to jump up and grab me, swinging me around like she’d done for the umpteenth time. She rubbed my head, treating me like her kid.

“Well, it’s a new year, so it’s time to start fresh. We’ll figure this out, won’t we girls?!”

Mae-chan asked the group with her bubbling smile. But I wanted to knock her on the head for swinging me like an idiot.

“Looks like nothing changes with you girls…”

Okabe-san said as she approached.

Uncharacteristically, she walked up to us and gave us a haphazard wave.

“Sup.”

The ivy-haired said casually.

Saya-san waved a tad enthusiastically.

“What’s up?!”

Okabe-san lowered her eyes and looked away.

“Anyway, I’ll catch you all later. Happy New Year.”

In a dry tone, Okabe-san said before she started walking away. Obake-san looked a tad tired, but at least her black eye settled down and was looking much better.

“Okabe-san, would you like to join us for lunch today?”

“Hm, thanks for the offer but I have a few things to take care of. I’ll catch you in class though, Madoka-san.”

She smiled at us before making her way to class. But one thing was different, Sophia and Okabe-san didn’t bicker with each other. I doubt anyone would call them friends, but I think they’ve come to a mutual understanding. Something along the lines of "We don't have to like each other, but it takes too much energy to hate one another also."

“See everyone at lunch?”

I asked and everyone gave some form of yes. Together, Sophia and I walked to class. The seating arrangement changed slightly. At the back of the room, I was sandwiched between So-chan and Okabe-san.

I giggled, thinking about it.

“What’s so funny?”

Okabe-san asked, noticing the look on my face. I adjusted my glasses a tad confidently and answered.

“If either of you need me to share a book or give you notes, it’s much easier now.”

 

 

Sophia-chan scoffed.

“Hey, just because you have the highest grades… probably in class, don’t treat us like the struggling cats in the back of the room.”

The ivy-haired girl just laid her cheek on the desk.

“It might be for the best. I can’t fail any more classes, otherwise I’ll be held back. But… don’t let it get to your head, Nakagawa-san.”

Stuck between two delinquents, hopefully, they don't team up and beat me up for my lunch money. The thought of these two as a bully pair felt oddly normal to me though, which was scary in its own right.

As the class went on, I thought about how I was going to explain my situation regarding Mari and Yuko-chan. I think it was about time all my friends knew the full extent of the situation, that would be the only way for me to find out how I could aid what was going on between Yuko-chan and me.

Mari-san told me about what she did to her in the hospital... but I think there's more to the story that Yuko-chan is afraid to tell me. How could I get Yuko-chan to open up to me, if she’s most worried about what I would think about it?

I pushed my pen to my lips, thinking about it when I got a text. While Takanaki-sensei was looking away, I checked my phone to see a message from Risa-san.

“Your mother is taking more time off. She mentioned that she’s going out of the city though. Maybe I got through to her?”

I texted back.

“Thank you for the update, Risa-san.”

With a heart emoji, she messaged back.

“Sure thing. You should be thanking Mary-san though. That woman’s a miracle worker. See you later, Madoka. ~”

I found myself giggling. Risa knew how to brighten the mood, regardless of the situation.

“Nakagawa-san, I won’t ask you again, put your phone away and focus.”

I nearly jumped from my seat when Takanaki-sensei called me out. The class laughed at my expense. I deserved it as I put my phone back in my bag.

“S-Sorry, Takanaki-sensei.”

Beaten again by my will to answer my text. If I kept doing this, I might become a delinquent like the two girls at my side. The day went on and it was finally lunchtime. I went to the meeting spot, the fine arts room, and saw Saya-san and Saki-chan by the window.

“Ah… hello you two?”

Saya-san had a spoon in her mouth, being fed by her senpai. Their meal is on the desk next to them. It wasn't anything special, gingered pork, rice, and a small salad. I wasn’t too surprised by the way they were so affectionate anymore, so I just made my way to a desk in the back and set my lunch down.

“Hmm… it needs more ginger, but it’s really good, Saki-chan.”

The twin-tailed kouhai spun her head from side to side in an uproar.

“Eh?! That’s all you got to say?! I was up until two in the morning trying to perfect this! Tell me you love me, Senpai! I want the reward I fantasized about!”

Saya-san patted her kouhai’s head, trying to calm her down.

“You shouldn’t stay up that late, Saki-chan. You know you get hyper when you’re sleepy. Settle down and let’s enjoy our lunch.”

I chuckled as I revealed my lunch. It was made by Mary-san the previous night. Chicken katsu, rice, tamagoyaki, and a salad. She's been trying to make more Japanese dishes lately. Maybe she was trying to make me feel more comfortable after what happened with Mom.

A smile came on my face, thinking of Mary-san working hard in the kitchen.

“Thanks, Mary-san.”

I whispered before tasting my lunch. No doubt, it had its flair to it but the dish was great.

“Senpai, please! Tell me you’d marry me if I cooked like this every day!”

Saki-chan begged her senpai, but all Saya-san did was spoon-feed her the gingered pork like a mother tending to her child. It was strange to watch if I had to be honest.

But their relationship was pure and open. As I continued my meal, I thought about me and Yuko-chan. That’s how it should be with us too in a way. There shouldn’t be this strange and oppressive animosity between us. It’s been there since I met her, and it’s about time we break that tension, isn’t it?

“Madoka-chan?”

I didn’t even see the blueberry come in. My idiot childhood friend, Mae-chan grabbed me from behind, pulling me into a hug. I nearly choked on my katsu.

“G-Gosh Mae! Give me a heads up.”

She chuckled and patted my back.

“Sorry, you looked like you were in deep thought so I figured I’d give you a scare.”

I adjusted my clothes, trying to gain my composure.

“Oh, Mae… Yuko-chan today?”

Ma-chan shrugged.

“We think she might have left early. I haven’t seen her all day… well, since Sophia-chan tried to beat her up in the morning.”

The shark entered the room, right on cue, shouting as she did.

“I didn’t try to beat her up! Don’t make me the bad girl here!”

Behind Sophia, her sister walked inside too. I wasn’t expecting this sudden development. Linda-san waved my way happily.

“Sorry for intruding. I ran into my sister and asked her if something was wrong with Yuko-chan. Then I'm sure you all can guess the rest.”

The nurse explained.

Linda shut the door, closing off the world to our discussion. Everyone here had the same worries, Yuko-chan. I don’t think that girl realized how loved she truly is.

“Looks like we’re all worried about Yuko-chan, huh?”

Everyone in here I trusted, and since it had to do with Yuko-chan I decided it was best to tell them what I knew so far.

“You see everyone, Yuko-chan, and Mari, my stepmother, had a falling out while I was in my coma."

 

 

Saki-chan tilted her head in confusion. Her head cocked so far to the left, I thought she'd break her neck and it worried me. I shifted my eyes toward Linda-san to see if she’d react to this sudden medical mystery. We shared a brief glance before turning back to the shocked girl. I’m sure we both had the same thought crossing our minds.

“Your stepmother… Wow, wow, hold up…”

Sophia nodded.

“Yes, Madoka-chan has feelings for Koda Mari-san, her stepmother.”

So-chan answered for me, giving me a soft smile. I thanked her internally for that. It didn't bother me anymore, hearing it come out of someone else's mouth. It was refreshing because my feelings were calm. Seeing the surprise on Saki-chan’s face was a little funny though.

“S-So that means when you took Hana to her mom at the mall… Y-You were going to see the woman you fell in love with?!”

I scratched my cheek. Saki-chan… was making this more embarrassing than it needed to be.

“Y-Yeah, Saki-chan. Ah… that’s just what I was doing.”

She raced over, pulled me out of my seat, and gave me a big hug. Her warmth was surprising and it took the breath out of me.

“S-Saki-chan?!”

“Girl, you should have told me! I feel so bad for you! That’s awful!”

Judging me didn’t even come to her mind. Saki-chan… was truly someone I could trust, wasn’t she? We did make that lesbian alliance over the phone that day. Turns out it ran deeper than I could have ever imagined.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay now. Thanks though, Saki-chan.”

I held her back, showing my thanks.

“Hey Madoka-chan, we can talk more about this later. We should focus on our girl Yuko-chan for now. Keep telling us what happened.”

Eyes with a hint of sorrow, Saki-chan listened along with the rest about what happened while I was in my coma. How Yuko-chan brought me flowers, those carnations, and how Mari ruined them out of jealousy. I knew that story well by this point. But what I didn’t know was what must have happened between Yuko-chan and me before my accident.

“Mari-san told me that I should ask Yuko-chan about it. It was between me and her, and I agreed. But if she goes this far to avoid me, what should I do, everyone?”

Saya-san crossed her arms, her expression looked serious. Something I rarely saw on her face.

“Madoka, since we’re being honest here, let’s not beat around the bush any longer.”

She approached me, put her hands on the desk I was at, and leaned in closer to me.

“You already know that Yuko-chan feels more for you than a normal friend, right?”

I closed my eyes, trying to shield my heart from the psychic. But I couldn’t hide from her. Sometimes I doubt my intuition when I say she couldn’t read my mind. I thought about plenty of moments between Yuko-chan and I that felt... like she wanted more than just being friends with me.

 

 

"Something happened between us… and I think it was something more… romantic maybe?”

I crossed my arms, thinking more deeply about it.

“Mae-chan already grasped that I might like girls in middle school. The person I was back then was more in tune with how I saw girls romantically. Maybe… maybe there was something more between us like that?”

I looked at the group, hearing me out with every word.

“I finally told you over the phone that I liked girls, Linda-san. Then I gathered the courage to eventually tell you, Mae. Everyone here knows I like girls, it's no secret."

I pondered.

“But I wonder if Yuko-chan… might have been the first person to find that secret out? And maybe something happened that she’s afraid to bring back up?”

Mae spoke up first.

“Something happened and maybe Yuko-chan fell for you?”

Sophia nodded.

“That’s what it sounds like to me, Madoka-chan.”

Saya-san crossed her arms, sighed deeply, then made her way over to the closet. She brought out that stack of pictures Yuko-chan made months ago and put them on my table. I’ve already seen these the first day we met but… today they seemed to have a new meaning.

“You remember these carnations, right?”

Saya-san displayed them on the desk. All those carnations sat in front of me. All the emotions she must have felt when she first saw me, alive, awake for the first time.

 

“Red carnations, Madoka-san. We both know those were the flowers she must have brought to you in the hospital.”

Saya-san said, reminding me what they meant. Red carnations symbolize deep love and affection. That's what they mean in the language of flowers. Maybe I already knew what she wanted to say, bringing them to the hospital when I was asleep. But I glanced the other way, not taking her overflowing feelings to heart. The more I thought about Yuko-chan, the more my chest felt as though it was being cut open, revealing the hidden truths I put to the side. I felt ashamed, not addressing her feelings sooner.

Saki-chan crossed her arms and spoke up.

“Yeah, even I can see that Yuko-chan thinks of you… as more than a friend, Madoka-chan. We talked about this over the phone, remember?”

Linda-san leaned back on the teacher’s podium, thinking more about it all as well. With a finger in the air, she glanced back at me.

“You lost most of your memory from before the accident. Maybe you two were more than friends… and then you forgot, Madoka-san?”

There was a sharp twisting pain in my chest. It was the type of unease one would get if they were caught doing something bad and a punishment was coming soon. If I had shared emotions with Yuko-chan... then I forgot about them.

"I... I hope that isn't the case."

I said in a whisper. If that was the case... then I couldn't imagine what Yuko-chan was going though. Her pain might be just like mine, if not more when I was learning about my feelings with Mari.  It made me think… what Yuko-chan must have been going through if that was true. My mind went back again to when I met her on the train. She cried then ran away and I chased after her. She... might have been hurting, seeing me again.

 

 

“Maybe, Linda-san. But… I won’t know unless she talks with me. Yuko-chan... why don't you just talk to me?”

I was starting to panic. My mind raced back to the first day we met… no, the first day we caught eyes with one another after my coma.

“Ah… that’s right.”

I remembered that I saw her coming to school when I took my test. Since that day, I wondered what was going through her head after those long two years. I didn’t remember her but…

 

 

If what everyone is saying is true…

If the conclusion I came to is true…

 

Then Yuko-chan might be struggling more than I could have ever realized. And I might have been indirectly avoiding confronting those feelings of hers. If she felt the way that I did back then Yuko-chan's heart must be tearing up inside. But I won't know the truth unless she talked with me and we found out the truth of our feelings for each other.

“I’ll go see her today, and I’ll take her pictures of carnations with me. I… I won’t avoid her feelings anymore, everyone. I promise.”

I held her pictures in my hands and pulled all of them close to my heart. These drawings held the feelings of Yuko-chan with every stroke. It’s only right that I accept them… and tell her how they make me feel.

“Enough is enough. I’ll… I’ll go and talk to her about all her feelings. Just me and her, I promise.”

The bell rang, and we all looked up at the speaker. In a way, I think we all forgot where we were for a moment. Our worries were all connected to the tall ghost that would appear and disappear when she wanted. Yuko-chan has touched the hearts of all of us…

But in her heart, I somehow touched it more strongly than others. And it’s about time I stop avoiding the clear feelings of those who… probably want more from me than I’m ready to give.

Saki-chan patted me on the back, assuring me she'd be rooting for me.

“Keep those, I’m sure Yuko-chan would want you to have them.”

She said, smirking as she did.

“T-Thanks Saki-chan, Saya-san.”

“Mado-chan, meet me at the gates before you leave. I’ll give you the notes Yuko-chan missed today too. It’ll give you a reason to drop by her place.”

Everyone was supporting me, and I didn’t feel like I was lost and alone, like in the past. I had a new drive to confront Yuko-chan. She wasn’t going to run from me, I wouldn’t allow it any longer. Whatever happened in the past, Yuko-chan and I had to face it together.

 

If she fell in love with me, then I need to know. But… if it’s something she thinks I wouldn't accept no matter what… I'll prove her wrong. I just had to make her believe that I wasn’t going anywhere anymore.