Solo For Two

“Karel Clements, sorry to keep you waiting.”Karel quickly put down his cup, stood up, and saluted. The colonel, dressed in his officer’s uniform, appeared to be an older man. He sat down with a relaxed demeanor and gestured for Karel to do the same.“At ease. I’ve heard a lot about you. They say you didn’t leave a single enemy soldier alive after encountering them overnight.”“There was no opportunity to take prisoners.”Karel responded while still standing. It had been night, Karel was alone, and he had a wounded comrade with him. Leaving the enemy with even the slightest strength to hold a gun was too dangerous. Killing them wasn’t a choice; it was a necessity. However…Had he left at least one prisoner? As Karel pondered the colonel’s words, the colonel continued.“I’m praising the fact that you didn’t leave any alive.”“…”“Usually, it’s hard to manage that even if you try.”The colonel gestured for Karel to sit again. Karel took a seat as the colonel settled behind his desk, flipping through several stiff sheets of paper. Occasionally, he glanced up at Karel with a scrutinizing gaze.“You joined the army after stabbing someone.”Karel didn’t respond. Though the coffee in front of him was cooling, he had no intention of drinking it.“I’m not criticizing you.”Then what? As Karel maintained his silence, trying to read his superior’s thoughts, the colonel continued.“In this war, you’re more valuable than those schoolboys who enlisted after seeing a recruitment poster, or the officers who still think in terms of cavalry charges. You have talent, and talent in war means killing.”Calling killing a talent. Once again, Karel lowered his eyes without responding.“Are you married?”“Not yet.”“Is there someone you’d like to see if I give you leave?”“…Yes.”“A family member?”After a brief hesitation, Karel answered.“My lover.”“Then you can see them this weekend.”The colonel’s voice took on a cheerful tone as he put the papers down on the desk.For a moment, Karel’s eyes reflected disbelief, but soon they filled with anticipation and joy. Unable to hide his excitement, he replied.“Thank you.”The colonel smiled as he watched Karel, who had shown little emotion before, suddenly change. Even though Karel had shown exceptional skill in the war, his lack of human warmth had been troubling. Seeing the young man, now in his mid-twenties, finally look his age, the colonel felt a sense of relief. He had privately worried that Karel might be a madman, consumed by killing.“I’ll give you three days of leave. It’s short, but such privileges are rare in wartime.”“I understand. Thank you.”“Your lover will be thrilled to see you in your officer’s uniform. Have a good trip.”＊ ＊ ＊It had been almost two years.As Karel traveled by train, the reality of going home began to set in. The farther he moved inland, away from the border, the more distant the war felt. When familiar lavender fields came into view, Karel’s heart began to race.Sasha.Were you healthy, not thinner than before?Did your loneliness make you quieter than ever before?As soon as Karel arrived at Palz station near Vienna, he leapt off the train. When he gave the address to the coachman, he found himself stumbling over his words. The harshness of the battlefield had been so intense that he had almost forgotten his home.As the coach headed towards their home, Karel mentally prepared what he wanted to say to Sasha. The thing he was most curious about was why Sasha had never sent him a letter during his time in the military. Sasha had only sent one letter when Karel was still in prison, but had not contacted him at all during his military service.Julian had occasionally visited Sasha and relayed his news to Karel, but Karel longed to hear about Sasha directly from him. There were times he felt desperate and resentful, but he tried to be patient, thinking there must be reasons. Still, it hurt deeply that not even one letter had come.He had tried not to dwell on it too much. His beautiful lover was capricious and liked to torment him, often making him scramble for the smallest of reasons while they lived together.His heart pounded with excitement that wouldn’t settle. Feigning calm, he took in the swiftly passing scenery of Palz through the coach window.First, he would embrace and kiss Sasha deeply. Then, he would make dinner and listen to Sasha’s stories all night. He would touch his body, breathe in his scent. If there was any time left, he might even lightly scold him and ask him to write to him occasionally, if he didn’t intend to drive him mad.Even after Karel made up his mind, the coach drove on for quite a while. Passing through the lavender-filled countryside of Palz, he finally stood in front of their longed-for home after two years.Karel had to pause and compose himself with his hand on the doorknob. He didn’t know what to say when he saw Sasha’s face.He knocked first. There was no sound from inside.After waiting a moment, he hesitated and then pushed the door open.Creeeak.The door opened easily.Karel, knowing that Sasha usually kept the door closed, walked inside feeling puzzled. The air inside was heavy and stale.Had he left for a while?Karel looked around and placed his military cap on the dining table. Then he stopped short. The dust on the end of his gloves was thick. Realizing this, he quickly walked into the master bedroom and searched the house, opening all the doors. The bathroom, the kitchen, the second floor, and the attic.The atmosphere in the house was unusual. The courtyard was eerily quiet. The strange absence that he hadn’t immediately noticed due to his long absence now hit him all at once.Karel stood alone in the empty house.The air was old, unvisited for a long time.He rushed back out but soon returned to leave a note on the dining table. Just in case. Perhaps he had gone shopping or to the lakeside they used to visit for a few days to clear his head… If he returned, he needed to know Karel had been there.Leaving the short note, Karel dashed out of the house. Never having considered the possibility that Sasha might have left him, he was in a state of panic as he headed toward the Ludwig mansion.＊ ＊ ＊Julian, having received word of Karel’s arrival, hurried out of the study and shouted.“What are you waiting for? Open the gate! Karel’s back!”The servants, who had kept the carriage waiting beyond the mansion’s walls until Julian gave permission, quickly opened the heavy iron gate, casting wary glances at Julian. The sound of metal scraping against the ground echoed as the gate swung open. Shortly after, the carriage began to make its way into the garden.Julian kept his eyes fixed on the end of the garden.The Ludwig mansion had been enveloped in a gloomy atmosphere for the past few years because of Karel’s sudden disappearance under the stigma of being a criminal. Karel’s father had collapsed in shock upon hearing the news, his heart weakened to the point that he had to retire from his work. Julian’s father, Franz Ludwig, had never forgiven Karel until his death a year ago. Deeply disappointed by Karel, whom he had raised with considerable affection, Franz had died with the wound still fresh in his heart, unable to reconcile with the young man he had considered almost another son.Julian, in turn, had put his studies on hold and returned home to manage the family business after his father’s sudden death. Foreseeing the looming war across Europe, Franz had already invested the family fortune in the United States and other third countries. Julian, too, had left minimal staff at the Ludwig estate near Vienna and was preparing to move to London.Leaving his hometown was not easy for Julian. But he couldn’t blame everything on Karel for the chain of shocks, including his father’s death and the war. However, most people seemed to remember Karel as the starting point of the gloom that enveloped the declining family and the mansion.Due to the impact Karel had, his name had long been almost taboo within the Ludwig mansion. Those who knew Karel well were hurt and couldn’t understand him, and some even harshly criticized him as an ungrateful wretch.And now, Karel had returned. Without any warning.‘It’s a relief he’s alive.’Julian genuinely thought so. Many young soldiers had lost their lives in the war. France, part of the Allied forces, had already announced that one-fifth of its young population had died in the war. The Austro-Hungarian Empire, part of the Central Powers, was no exception. Julian had been anxiously following the news from the front lines, fearful of losing the last family member he had left.‘But I didn’t hear anything about him getting leave.’The carriage crossed the long garden and stopped at the mansion’s entrance.Karel stepped out, his officer’s coat fluttering. There was no trace of the war’s horrors on Karel, who wore his immaculate uniform. He took off his military cap.Julian and Karel stood for a moment, looking at each other.It was Julian who approached first. As he got close enough to see the shadow over Karel’s face, the scars running along his cheek and lips were the first thing he noticed. Feeling a wave of sorrow, Julian embraced Karel tightly. Karel, whose face had been pale, seemed to come to his senses and softly muttered, “Julian,” showing his delight.“It’s such a relief you’re safe, Karel, really.”“You too… Have your eyes gotten worse?”Karel scrutinized Julian’s face with curiosity, as if seeing it for the first time in ages. Julian adjusted his glasses and replied.“That’s what happens when you spend every day in a dark room working on papers. Come on in. How is your skin even paler while you’ve been in the army?”“Because I was holed up in bunkers and trenches the whole time.”“Oh… those trenches. They’re doing something crazy in London lately. They’re digging trenches in the middle of the city and letting people experience it. You can even have afternoon tea inside.”“How do you know that so well? Did you try it?”Julian responded with a hint of irritation, asking if Karel was crazy. Karel just laughed, as if he had expected that reaction. Julian felt relieved, thinking that the Karel he knew was finally back.As they walked in, Karel looked around the mansion. Familiar faces, the servants he had grown up with, watched him with a mix of curiosity, fear, and a bit of welcome. They didn’t know how to react to the young man who had caused an unexpected scandal and was arrested, but now appeared in an officer’s uniform, still looking as upright and good-natured as ever. Seeing their gazes, Karel realized that this was his first time back at the mansion since his arrest.Once they were seated in Julian’s room, Julian offered Karel a drink. Having been used to cheap army whiskey, Karel didn’t refuse the rich-tasting liquor.“How long is your leave?”“Three days.”“That’s great. Make sure you eat well and rest up at the mansion before you go back. Oh, and let me know if you need any supplies for the army. I’ll make sure to get them for you before you leave.”“I’m actually here to find Sasha. I came here to look for him.”Julian’s actions froze at Karel’s words.Noticing something in Julian’s demeanor, Karel’s expression hardened.“Julian?”“You… didn’t come straight here, did you?”“Sasha’s not here?”Julian remained silent at Karel’s question. Growing anxious, Karel asked again.“You know something, don’t you?”Julian could only move his lips without making a sound, unable to meet Karel’s eyes. Karel stood up and approached Julian. He didn’t even have the energy to be angry; he just hoped he wouldn’t hear terrible news from Julian’s mouth.“No, I don’t know. It’s just… just.”“Just what?”“It’s about the last time I saw him. That was three months ago… You know, I didn’t interact with Sasha much.”Karel waited for Julian’s next words.“He seemed a bit off then.”“Off? How?”“He looked like he had lost his mind… He was drinking too much. I cleared out all the alcohol from the house and called a doctor to prescribe him sleeping pills. Sasha was reluctant to give up the alcohol but didn’t resist much. He was already drunk and babbling incoherently, so I couldn’t make much sense of what he was saying. Basically…”Julian paused to choose his words carefully, furrowing his brow as he struggled with how to convey Sasha’s words.“Just tell me the truth.”“He promised he would never leave you. You might not know this, but I got that promise from him.”“Yeah, so?”“But this time, he said you abandoned him, so he would abandon you too. Actually, it was more like he was asking for my permission. Asking if it was okay for him to leave…”“Leave? Where to?”Julian let out a small groan. Karel realized he was gripping Julian’s shoulder too hard and quickly let go.“I don’t know. I didn’t take his words seriously. Honestly, I didn’t think Sasha had the guts for it. Without my support, he’s nearly penniless and not shrewd enough to handle social life properly. But if he’s not at home, I’m worried… Where could he have gone?”“He said I abandoned him?!”Karel’s sudden shout made Julian stop speaking.“How could he think I abandoned him?”Karel angrily paced around the room, his boots making heavy thuds. His face, which had been pale when he arrived, turned even whiter with anxiety and frustration, his breathing unsteady.“Calm down, Karel. You know Sasha doesn’t always think logically. He’s a bit unstable… Maybe he perceived your arrest and your going off to the army that way.”“Ha!”Karel seemed to be trying to steady his breath. His disheveled hair and trembling eyes made him look extremely agitated.“I should have stayed with Sasha no matter what.”“What?”“No matter what happened, even if it meant going to prison together… I shouldn’t have gone alone. Ah… but Sasha wouldn’t have survived it. Neither prison nor the army!”“What are you saying?”Julian turned pale in an instant. A certain “possibility” crossed his mind, but it was so outlandish that he didn’t even want to consider it.“Are you saying…?”Julian swallowed hard. It couldn’t be true. But fleeting memories resurfaced, making it hard to dismiss. He remembered Sasha being passive in solving the problem right after the incident while Julian was doing everything he could to get Karel out.“It sounds like you’re saying Sasha could have gone to prison.”Karel didn’t answer but poured himself another drink and downed it in one go.“Answer me. Who’s the real culprit? Is it you or Sasha?”Karel, after draining more than half the glass, spoke softly.“On the battlefield, in the army… Sasha wouldn’t survive. It had to be me.”With those words, Julian was convinced.“You took the blame, didn’t you?”Julian clenched his fists to stop his hands from trembling. His nails painfully dug into his palms.“Answer me! Did you take the fall?”“….”“Are you crazy? This isn’t some game where you just pick who’s ‘it’!”Julian lunged forward and grabbed Karel by the collar, but Karel didn’t resist. What kind of foolishness had this idiot committed just to protect someone he loved? He had risked his life, disappointed his family, and walked into the jaws of death.“Tell me it’s not true. Please.”“It’s not true.”A faint hope lit up Julian’s face. He had a fragile belief that his brother-in-arms couldn’t have done something so foolish. Karel thought that hope was completely futile.“But if Sasha didn’t do it, I would have. The outcome would have been the same.”With those words, Julian’s strength left him, and his arms fell to his sides.According to the incident report, Karel was described as having fought off a robber and nearly killed him. And it was Sasha who had testified to that.Now Julian understood. If Sasha was the real culprit, he would have been the prime suspect. Karel had made Sasha the witness to protect him.Karel sat down for a moment. A long silence followed.“Sasha seems to be in a fragile state.”Unlike his earlier outburst of fury upon learning of Sasha’s disappearance, Karel now calmly adjusted his collar. Julian, finding it hard to believe this change, looked at Karel with suspicion.“He might just be wandering for a while. He often did that. Whenever that happened, I stayed by his side…. Sasha can’t sleep well on his own, especially now. He mustn’t be left alone.”Karel spoke in a worried tone. Julian felt chills run down his spine. Karel’s face showed concern and affection, as if reminiscing about the past. It was an abnormal attitude.“Julian, when Sasha comes back, please bring him to this mansion. Make sure he doesn’t wander around alone. I’ll try to get my next leave as soon as possible.”Karel’s voice was low, almost a growl when he said “make sure he doesn’t wander.” Julian swallowed hard and asked Karel, who was leaving the room.“Where are you going?”“I’ll wait at our house.”At that moment, Julian realized that Karel, despite his outward calm, had lost his sanity.“You fool. It’s pointless. Sasha has left you. He’s abandoned you.”“……”“End it here. Your time together has expired. In truth, you’ve been holding on by force all this time…”“I’m leaving.”Karel stood up, indicating he didn’t want to hear any more. Julian knew he couldn’t stop him. Watching Karel’s back as he walked out into the hallway, down the stairs, and out of the mansion, Julian shouted after him.“Why do you cling to someone who doesn’t love you? Wake up. Look at what you still have! Karel! You’re ruining your life!”Julian watched the distant figure. It wasn’t his stubborn younger brother leaving, but a broken Karel.From that point, Karel stayed alone in the house where he had lived with Sasha until he returned to the front three days later. During his stay, he guarded an empty house, waiting for someone who never came.＊ ＊ ＊In contrast to the constant bad news from the Western Front, the Eastern Front, commanded by Karel Clements, was reporting daily victories. Even the biggest threat, Russia, had fallen into anarchy due to the revolution, removing any obstacles to their advance.On the Eastern Front, Karel had become the de facto ruler, with orders from the homeland no longer applying. Soldiers trusted Karel, a commoner officer skilled in the field, more than the noble officers who never left the safety of their headquarters and bunkers. Unlike other officers who dined with fine silverware and had tea times, Karel ate canned food with his men and led charges with sword and rifle in hand. The birth of a hero was inevitable.