Solo For Two

‘I’m not some hostess.’After waiting for well over an hour, Sasha finally relaxed and stood up.There were no more carriages arriving outside the castle, but the orchestral music drifting through the windows indicated the party was in full swing.Sasha took off his jacket and found the bathroom attached to the room. He wanted to get rid of the unpleasant taste still lingering in his mouth. After rinsing his mouth several times and giving his face a light wash, he came out of the bathroom.A man was standing in the room.When had he entered? When the man’s face turned towards Sasha, his heart plummeted to the floor. Sasha stared at him, forgetting to dry his damp hands and face.‘How can you not be Karel?’Sasha moved closer to him. He kept thinking that the man might not be Karel, that he might just be a noble who looked uncannily similar, and that he shouldn’t make a scene, but he couldn’t stop himself.“Karel, it is you, right?”But the man only looked down at Sasha with a cold, detached gaze, as if watching something strange. Sasha felt himself shrink under that gaze, yet he pleaded desperately.“Please, just tell me the truth. There’s no one here but you and me.”“……”“We thought you were dead. Julian was so devastated…. I need to tell him you’re alive.”Tears quickly streamed down Sasha’s face. As he wiped them away frantically with the back of his hand, the man continued to look at him with an indifferent expression.The Karel of the past had always been sensitive to Sasha’s emotional changes. When Sasha was about to cry, Karel looked like he wanted to cry more and would already be holding Sasha’s cheeks, gently licking away the tears.Recalling the past, Sasha’s tears flowed more freely, but the man’s cold expression only deepened Sasha’s confusion. The man seemed almost repelled by Sasha’s tears.Sasha took a deep breath, sniffled, and asked again.“Count Scar?”“Sit over there.”Only when Sasha called him by another name did he respond, pointing to a distant spot. It was a gesture that did not permit Sasha to approach further. The man pointed to the sofa next to a table. Sasha, watching Scar’s expression, obediently went to sit on the sofa. He thought Scar would sit as well, but he remained standing.“So the rumors are true.”At first, Sasha didn’t understand his words. But when Scar’s gaze moved from his swollen lips to his disheveled hair and then to his grass-stained knees, shame flooded over him.Under the face he thought belonged to Karel was unmistakable contempt and disgust.“This…”“Sir Hartley boasted loudly about you, and I thought it was just male bravado. I didn’t realize it was the unembellished truth.”Sasha bit his lip. He wanted to retort that it was forced, but it was true that he had traded his body in dealings with Hartley over the past month. And now he had followed him here…. Arguing would only expose his own faults further. Sasha kept his mouth shut.“What do you gain from dealing with such minor nobles?”There was a genuine curiosity in Scar’s question. That made it even harder for Sasha to bear.Success, honor, money, and popularity… and the position of principal dancer. All were achievements he had earned through his own efforts. He hadn’t gained them by selling his body.But after proving my talent, what was it I was trying to gain next?“There’s nothing to gain.”“Then why do you voluntarily suck up to men?”The man slowly approached. The way he walked, stretching out his long legs encased in a sharp suit, and the way he looked down from above was frighteningly similar to Karel.Sasha suppressed the urge to throw himself into the man’s arms. If he clung to him and cried for the truth, would the man relent and reveal his identity? Or would he slap Sasha and call him a lunatic?“Are you saying that ‘such acts’ themselves are your goal?”“What…?”Sasha’s face turned pale at his question.He couldn’t decide which was worse: being treated like a prostitute who offers his body for compensation, or being regarded as a pervert with an insatiable sexual appetite for men.“I’m not that kind of person…”“If not, then explain why you’re bothering me.”The man had somehow gotten right in front of Sasha.The calmness in his voice sent a cold sweat down Sasha’s back. There’s no way you’re not Karel. Sasha felt the urge to cry and cling to him, to show his vulnerable side and ask for forgiveness. If the person in front of him was Karel… if he could just confirm it was Karel.Sasha’s heart, lonely ever since leaving that house, began to waver uncontrollably. The moonlight streaming in through the window mercilessly highlighted his trembling eyes.Pale-faced, Sasha spoke to him.“I… I want you.”What flickered in the man’s eyes was contempt.Sasha was familiar with the dark green eyes clouded with displeasure, but he had never seen such a look directed at him. A cloud passed over the moon, casting a shadow on the man’s face, and Sasha attributed the sudden look of disgust to the shadow.Just as the anxious silence became unbearable and Sasha was about to speak again, the man asked,“So, this is how you usually operate?”“What…”“You must have seduced Hartley the same way.”Without giving Sasha time to explain, the man approached him.“…Pathetically easy.”Even though his words were harsh, there was more than just surprise in his tone. Sasha felt a sense of relief that the man didn’t show outright hatred.He sank deep into the sofa opposite Sasha. Sasha, who hadn’t taken his eyes off him from the beginning, examined the man’s appearance. His shiny, elegant leather shoes, the neatly tailored hem of his clothes, and even the lightly wrinkled shirt—all of it perfectly replicated the gentlemanly image of Karel that always captivated Sasha.The man poured himself a drink, moving leisurely, allowing Sasha to take in his figure as much as he wanted. Watching him, Sasha was seized by the desire to regain Karel.And… could it be a trick of the mind that made him feel oddly generous despite the man’s sharp words? Perhaps he was giving Sasha a chance, or maybe he was simply indifferent and letting him be.Then the man asked,“Would you like a drink?”Sasha glanced between the drink and the man, gauging his reaction. Then he shook his head. He craved a drink, but Karel had always disliked seeing Sasha with alcohol. At least now, he didn’t want to disappoint him, even if this man merely looked like Karel.Instead, Sasha stood up and approached the man. Because the man almost treated him as invisible, Sasha had to lower himself to meet his gaze. Thinking he wouldn’t be allowed to sit beside him, Sasha knelt at his feet. Fortunately, the man only gave him a brief glance without comment. Sasha looked up at him, studying his expression.“Scar?”Only after sitting closer did he fully understand the name.Sasha noticed a long scar that ran from the man’s cheek to his lips. The long knife mark on his handsome face and fair skin made Sasha sigh. Besides the scar on his face, there was a red cut that extended from behind his ear to his nape, disappearing into his shirt.Sasha wanted to touch those scars. His fingertips trembled.As he knelt, he cautiously placed a hand on the man’s leg, feeling the warmth and firm muscles beneath the thin fabric. Memories surged back in an instant.He wanted to embrace Karel’s chest and feel his heartbeat. He wanted to press his lips to Karel’s neck and confirm that he was alive.In a moment of impulsive emotion, Sasha embraced him, wrapping his arms around the man’s solid neck.“Karel, Karel…”He had embraced Karel countless times in his dreams. But all those dreams combined couldn’t compare to this one real hug. Sasha was overwhelmed by the warmth and scent of his skin. He clambered up onto the man’s lap, his face tracing over his body. It was an instinctive and almost unconscious act, like an animal burrowing into its nest.Overflowing emotions spilled out as Sasha buried his face in the man’s neck. Desperately calling out Karel’s name, he clumsily unbuttoned the man’s shirt and slid his hand inside. His lips found the long scar beneath the shirt, and he felt the beating pulse of the living Karel.Sasha came to his senses when he found himself pressing his lips to the man’s dry lips. He kissed those closed lips again and again, almost pleadingly, but Karel did not respond. Finally, Sasha pulled back and looked at him.The man, eyes wide open, was merely observing Sasha’s desperate behavior. Realizing that he was the only one trembling with excitement and lust, Sasha felt a rush of embarrassment. He almost started to cry. Stroking the man’s cheek, he pleaded again.“Please kiss me.”I want to confirm that you’re alive.Instead of responding with a kiss, the man gently but firmly removed Sasha’s hands from his neck. It didn’t seem like he used much force, but Sasha’s hands fell away helplessly.“You’re asking me to kiss lips that have serviced another man’s…”His tone wasn’t angry.“Is that how you put it?”Though his words were devoid of emotion, Sasha felt a deep sense of shame.After forcibly removing Sasha’s arms from his neck, the man looked him in the face. With his wrists still held, Sasha lowered his head, fearing the stern gaze that felt like a reproach.“Don’t you think it’s reversed?”“…What?”“Why does it seem like you’re enjoying this more?”Sasha’s ears burned red, and he swallowed hard, unable to respond. Normally, Sasha disliked physical contact with anyone other than Karel, whether they were men or women. He especially despised being looked at sexually.But this time, he couldn’t understand why he had acted this way himself.‘Why did I act so shamefully?’It was like a cold splash of water, and he started to tremble, feeling a chill not just in his mind but throughout his body. Sasha thought it might be because of the man’s cold gaze.‘This man isn’t Karel. Karel wouldn’t look at me like this.’Thinking that the man wasn’t Karel made Sasha regret all his previous actions. Remembering his crude behavior filled him with such shame he wished he could die.“I’m sorry. I… I…”The man waited patiently for Sasha to continue, as if telling him to speak calmly. Sasha then realized that from the beginning, it was only him who was swept away by emotions, while this person had remained consistently detached, merely watching him like a madman.“You… You look too much like the person I… I loved.”The man’s expression turned peculiar at Sasha’s strained, tearful words.“The person you loved…”At that moment, Sasha realized he had never once told Karel that he loved him. It was a thunderous revelation. He never imagined he would come to understand this so late.‘The face of the person I loved.’A man who resembled Karel so strikingly was uttering cold words that Karel had never spoken, and was looking at him with an incredibly detached gaze. Sasha swallowed his rising sobs. Trembling, he clutched his head with shaking hands and groaned. Unsteady breaths escaped his lips.“Ha, ha… Heu, heup…”The man bit his lip gently.“Pull yourself together.”He lightly slapped Sasha’s cheek to calm him, but Sasha couldn’t easily settle down. In the end, the man lifted Sasha to his feet. However, Sasha, weakened, kept collapsing back to his knees. Finally, the man picked Sasha up entirely.As Sasha was carried in the man’s arms, his trembling gradually subsided. The strong arms supporting his not-so-light weight and the warmth of his chest comforted him. On the short journey to the bed, Sasha kept staring desperately at the man’s chin, unable to meet his eyes.However, once he laid Sasha down on the bed, the man immediately turned to leave.“…Karel?”“You’re not in your right mind right now.”“Where are you going, Karel?”“Rest here and go back in the morning. I’ll send my assistant….”“Don’t leave. Where are you going? Don’t leave me alone.”Sasha’s voice was trembling uncontrollably. A look of helplessness flickered across the man’s face. Caught between past and present, Sasha, lost in his own thoughts, muttered to himself as he clambered out of bed.“This house is too big. Don’t leave me alone.”Sasha hugged his back. Grabbing onto the man’s jacket without caring if it wrinkled, he clung to him. The man’s expression grew troubled. Sensing his hesitation, Sasha hastily reached for his belt and pleaded.“I’m sorry for being selfish. I’ll do whatever you want.”Before the man could stop him, Sasha unzipped his pants. Desperate not to lose Karel, Sasha clung to him with a fierce grip. It didn’t take long before he pulled down the zipper and took the man’s member into his mouth.“You really…”The man gritted his teeth, looking down at Sasha. His expression seemed torn between anger and disappointment.Sasha, in a frenzy, drooled over the man’s member, trying to take it into his mouth. Each time he looked up, the man’s expression became more grim. Despite knowing he could easily be pushed away, Sasha was relieved that the man didn’t resort to violence. He forced his mouth to accommodate the now fully erect member.Even though only the head was in his mouth, the sides of his stretched lips cracked painfully. Ignoring the stinging sensation, Sasha tried to open his throat to take more of it in. Despite the cold sweat running down his back and the gag reflex triggered by his uvula, he didn’t stop. The familiar sensation of forcing his throat open and accommodating the size felt almost comforting.Realizing he couldn’t fully take it while sitting, Sasha panted and spoke to the man.“It’s hard sitting like this. I’ll lie down… please?”Recalling past memories, Sasha suggested lying on the bed with his head tilted back to swallow Karel’s member completely.However, the man’s face twisted in disgust at Sasha’s words.“I can’t watch this any longer.”“Why? You used to like it when I did this.”“…You hated it.”The low voice, gritted through clenched teeth.As soon as he finished speaking, the man regretted his words.But for the first time, that emotional tone convinced Sasha.This man is Karel.“Karel….”Sasha’s hands dropped powerlessly.“…Let go. You need to calm down.”With that, Karel easily freed himself from Sasha’s limp grip. While Sasha looked up at him, Karel turned and adjusted his clothes.“Karel?”“…….”“It’s okay if you don’t answer.”When Karel finally turned around, all traces of emotion had vanished from his face. Sasha, still sitting on the floor, murmured softly.“I’m glad you’re alive. You might not believe me, but… I’m really glad you’re alive….”“It’s better if you get some sleep.”Karel approached and helped Sasha to his feet. Obediently following Karel’s guidance, Sasha let himself be laid back down on the bed. He studied Karel’s profile as he tucked him in, his head resting against the pillow. The moonlight made Karel’s eyelashes shine golden. Though his expression was unchanged, it was undeniably Karel’s face that Sasha longed for.Barely escaping the turmoil in his mind, Sasha felt sleep coming over him as soon as he lay down. Even in his drowsiness, he was anxious Karel might leave. Sasha weakly grabbed his hand.“Karel, don’t go.”“…….”“I don’t want to sleep alone… don’t leave.”Feeling the gentle weight of Karel’s hand patting his chest, Sasha finally drifted off to sleep, and for the first time in a long while, he managed to sleep soundly.＊ ＊ ＊Sasha dreamt of a long-ago time. A time when Karel was more open with his emotions.Back then, Karel would often laugh softly when Sasha merely glanced at him, and he would fearlessly hold Sasha’s hand in the middle of the day when they were alone. Sasha felt more flustered and troubled than happy about his actions. Being known as just friends, both unmarried young men frequently received marriage proposals and introductions to village maidens. Furthermore, homosexuality was punishable by imprisonment. If their true relationship were discovered, they wouldn’t be able to stay in Palz.Despite this, Karel would sometimes push Sasha into a secluded spot and kiss him deeply, as if he couldn’t help himself.The tender bite on his upper lip, the soft touch of his tongue—every moment of their kisses, Sasha felt Karel’s love. He tried to dissuade Karel, saying they shouldn’t do this in public, but he couldn’t help but accept the kisses because of that love.‘My treasure.’How comforting the warmth of those words and the kiss on his forehead had been. How the emotions that welled up in Karel’s eyes had been….Even in the dream, Sasha knew it was a dream. He realized he had dreamt this same dream countless times before.Karel’s kiss on his forehead felt so warm and real that even in his sleep, Sasha shed tears.＊ ＊ ＊When Sasha woke, it was already morning. The sunlight was faint but clear, indicating the dawn had just broken.‘Where is Karel….’Still groggy, Sasha reached out for the empty spot beside him on the bed. Among the distant birdsong, an unfamiliar sound intruded.Someone was knocking on the door.Sasha sat up in bed easily, feeling clear-headed and refreshed from his short but deep sleep. He crossed the room to the door, hearing the knocking resume just as he reached it. Rubbing his eyes, he tried turning the doorknob, but it wouldn’t open from inside.‘Why don’t they just come in….’Puzzled, Sasha called out toward the outside.“It won’t open from inside. Please open it, Karel.”As if waiting for permission, the door opened immediately.“I was wondering if I should just come in since there was no answer for a while….”But it wasn’t Karel standing in the doorway.“I have a carriage ready. Let’s leave before anyone else sees.”