Solo For Two

“Looking closely, I think Charles resembles Sasha a bit,” Karel said, softly stroking the baby’s cheek with a gentle expression he hadn’t even realized. There was a time when Karel had dreamed of raising Sasha’s child, and now that dream was right before his eyes.He felt a mix of resentment toward Sasha for having a child with someone else and admiration for achieving something that had been impossible with him. Despite the unfamiliar texture of Scar’s luxurious, heavy fabric and the scent of men’s cologne, Charles smiled brightly.“You both have the same eye color,” Levin suddenly remarked.“Me and…?”“Yes, you and Charles.”“I see.” Scar smiled faintly as he observed Sasha’s child.For the first time, Karel and Charles, two people with the same name, looked at each other for a long time, simply gazing into each other’s eyes.＊ ＊ ＊As promised, Karel called a personal doctor for Sasha. After a thorough examination, the doctor reported that if Sasha continued his activities, surgery would be inevitable; it was just a matter of time. Karel and the doctor seemed to discuss something about Sasha after leaving the room, something Sasha couldn’t interfere with despite it being about him.Moreover, Sasha was still not allowed to leave the house alone. Karel willingly took him anywhere when they went out together but never permitted Sasha to go out by himself. Sasha, who thought they had reached a new understanding, found it hard to comprehend Karel’s actions.A week passed in confinement at Karel’s house.After seeing Karel off early in the morning, Sasha sat quietly in his room for a while.‘How can I get out of the house?’Karel had said he would return in the evening with the doctor. Sasha felt he had to use the long hours of the day somehow. He planned to slip out while Karel was away, talk to Levin, and figure out what to do with Charles in the meantime. Although he was worried about taking care of Charles without Levin, he hoped Karel might provide a nanny if he explained the situation well.The best scenario would be if Karel rehired Levin as the nanny.Sasha leaned out the window and looked down. There was an external staircase leading to the first floor from the study window next to the bedroom. If he could just get to the study window, he could climb down the stairs to the first floor.In practice, it turned out to be easier than Sasha had expected. He lightly climbed over to the study window and descended the stairs. When he reached the garden on the first floor, he had only a bit of dust on his clothes from the brick wall but was otherwise unharmed.Feeling lighter, Sasha left the house, holding the bit of money he had saved, and hailed a carriage. Watching the changing scenery outside the window for a brief moment, he soon arrived in front of the house. Sasha felt a mix of guilt for sneaking out and pride in his successful escape.Just as Sasha got out of the carriage, a newspaper boy, who had been waiting for customers, ran over and thrust a newspaper into Sasha’s arms.“Sir, do you like gossip?”“Not particularly.”“Come on, just buy one.”The boy was persistent. He followed Sasha, forcing the newspaper open in front of him.As Sasha was about to return the paper to the disheartened boy, his eyes caught a large printed headline.“Look, it’s really interesting news. You won’t regret it.”Seeing Sasha’s expression, the boy became confident. Sasha, with slightly trembling hands, opened the newspaper. The boy quickly collected the remaining change from Sasha’s hand.“Scar’s engagement announcement! The bride is a noble with royal connections. It’s causing quite a stir because she’s remarrying. Look at the size of this diamond.”The news from the outside world, after a week, was unbelievable to Sasha. He blinked several times, but the face in the printed photograph did not change. The newspaper declared the engagement of Scar, who had whispered words of love to Sasha just that morning, Karel.＊ ＊ ＊Late at night, Karel returned home with the doctor.Sasha didn’t come down to the first floor despite hearing the noise. Karel personally led the doctor to the bedroom, where Sasha lay motionless in bed, and made him receive his examination. While the doctor examined Sasha, Karel went back downstairs to talk with Georg.Georg was concerned about the content of the telegram Karel had received today. It was from the Austrian military, summoning Karel back to his homeland. Hearing about Karel’s engagement from the newspaper, they had urgently sent the telegram. Although the timing was inconvenient, Karel had no choice but to comply.“Why would they suddenly order you back when a letter could suffice to express their intentions?”“It’s a way to remind me that they hold my life in their hands.”Karel replied with a slightly tired expression, to which Georg responded with a firm look.“Considering your contributions to our country, this treatment is unfair. You should be treated as a war hero, not as a puppet.”“I understand their sense of threat. Don’t worry. I thought I might need to visit once before the wedding anyway.”“Even so, I’m worried about how the French will react to your visit to Austria. How will they take it?”“They probably feel relieved now that the engagement has been publicized.”“…”“I’ll have a chance to explain it in detail when I meet Colonel Armand soon.”Georg, always loyal to his superior, uncharacteristically showed disagreement with Karel’s words. Karel, knowing this stemmed from concern, didn’t point out Georg’s attitude.“Lord Scar, the examination is finished.”The doctor, who had come downstairs, seemed puzzled by Karel’s unusual absence from Sasha’s side and reported Sasha’s condition in as much detail as possible.“If he doesn’t strain himself until the season starts, the cracks will heal quickly.”“That’s good to hear.”“The problem arises when you continue to strain the muscles and bones in the same way…. You tend to overuse your instep to endure the pain. If left untreated, the extent of the stress fracture will increase.”“Understood….”“When should I visit next?”“How about in about a week?”Karel escorted Georg and the family doctor to the front gate of the mansion. After a brief farewell, Georg put the doctor into the car and quickly departed.Finally alone after a long day, Karel sighed deeply, making sure no one could hear, and returned to the mansion. His steps up the antique wooden stairs were much slower than usual. The weight of his indescribable worries pressed heavily on his chest, but Karel knew he couldn’t share his burdens with anyone.Karel knew he had to handle everything on his own.“Sasha, I’m coming in.”Karel slowly opened the door.Sasha, who seemed to have remained seated after the examination, had his bandaged leg propped up on the table and was staring out the window. At the sound of the door opening, he turned his head belatedly to Karel. His face was pale and he seemed somewhat dazed.“Did the treatment hurt?”“No.”“You don’t look well.”At Karel’s words, Sasha forced a smile.After lightly kissing his moist lips, Karel took off his vest and loosened his tie. Sasha’s eyes meticulously followed his every move as he removed his heavy watch and placed it on the nightstand.“Karel, when can I go out?”“Soon.”Saying this, Karel also took off his shirt. The moonlight faintly outlined the contours of his bare back.“I’ll make sure you can move in here completely soon. Then you can go to the theater for work, so even if you’re bored… just wait a little longer.”“Until when?”Realizing that Sasha was unusually persistent today, Karel turned around. It didn’t feel right to dismiss it as mere nervousness.As he approached, Sasha looked up at Karel with anxious, wide eyes and asked.“Until your wedding is over?”“……”“Will you let me go then?”“Ha….”Karel, who had been standing still as if at a loss for words, sighed and sat down next to Sasha.The sofa tilted under the weight of another person. Normally, it was a sensation Sasha welcomed, but this time, he shrank back.He thought he was asking something he naturally should. But even as he rationalized it, Sasha’s hands trembled. As Karel held his head and remained silent for a long time, regret soon washed over Sasha.‘I shouldn’t have brought it up this way.’The guilt of having upset Karel overwhelmed him. Sasha unconsciously bit his already swollen lips, which he had been chewing on all day.“How did you find out? Who told you? It couldn’t have been Georg….”For a moment, Karel’s gaze shifted to Sasha’s chest. There was a faint scratch mark from the window frame on his clothes.“You went outside.”“……”“Did you read the newspaper?”Sasha tried to avoid his gaze in anxiety but soon had no choice but to nod.“It was an article about you marrying a distant royal family member… and giving her your mother’s diamond ring. At first, I thought it was about someone else, but it wasn’t.”Sasha’s voice was already breaking with emotion. Even at a moment when he should be angry and demanding answers, Sasha was watching Karel’s reaction.Karel looked at the blue diamond earrings he had impulsively bought for Sasha when purchasing the engagement ring, still sparkling on his ears. He also remembered Sasha’s face, so full of joy at the seemingly throwaway gift.That memory momentarily weakened Karel.All the plans he had meticulously prepared over the years felt like they could be thrown away in the face of Sasha’s disheartened expression.If only they could be alone together….Meanwhile, Sasha was frightened by Karel’s silent gaze. He thought he had uncovered something he shouldn’t have. The reason Karel had confined him was obvious without deep thought. He wanted Sasha to live in the comfort Karel provided, without speaking or hearing anything.“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have found out this way.”Karel suppressed his urge to question Sasha’s outing and instead apologized.He knew he shouldn’t have been so easily taken in by Sasha’s sweet and candid affection. Giving in to those feelings had led him to actions that were never part of the plan.Sasha, who had feared harsh reprimand, was shocked by the unexpected and clear apology.His words meant the article was undeniably true.“…So it’s true?”“Yes, it’s true.”Karel stood up and lit a cigarette by the window.“I went to your house today. Met a woman named Levin… and Charles. You’ll see them again soon. I’ll make sure you can live together here. I told them to leave most of the furniture but pack your things and clothes. If there’s anything special you want, let me know. I’ll bring it for you.”He didn’t deny the fact of his marriage and seemed to have already decided on Sasha’s future. Feeling wronged, Sasha questioned him.“Can’t I just go back?”“Please move into my house.”Karel responded urgently and quickly without realizing it. The thought of letting Sasha go made him momentarily lose his self-control.Sasha seemed greatly shocked by Karel’s words.“Are you telling me to become your lover?”“I’m giving you the choice. If you want it.”Karel walked back and knelt in front of Sasha, holding his chin with his free hand to make him look up. Sasha reluctantly lifted his head at Karel’s insistence.Even though he said “if you want it,” Karel’s eyes looked desperate, as if begging Sasha to stay with him.Did he propose to his fiancée with these same eyes?Karel gently caressed Sasha’s cheek. Sasha leaned into his hand, feeling a surge of intense emotions. He felt a simultaneous urge to strangle Karel, slap him, and kiss him.“If it’s too hard to endure, you can leave.”Trying hard to suppress his tears, Sasha began to hiccup. Karel continued to caress Sasha’s lips and cheeks, speaking in a soft voice.“I’m not forcing you.”“H-How can you be so selfish…. How can you do this to me….”“Yes, hate me as much as you want.”Sasha struggled to hold back the sobs that were bursting out of his throat. Crying and clinging to Karel in this situation would feel unbearably pathetic.“Ugh…. Mm, sob….”“Cry as much as you want when you feel like it.”Karel pulled Sasha into a deep embrace, burying Sasha’s face in his chest. Soon, his chest was soaked with Sasha’s hot, wet tears. Karel, holding Sasha tightly, took a last deep drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out carelessly on the marble nightstand.Sasha rubbed his cheek against the firm chest and fabric of Karel’s shirt, hugging him tightly. He said the person he thought was his was going to belong to someone else.‘But how can I let him go? I can’t lose him again.’For the first time, Sasha realized the rules of a game where the one in love was destined to lose.Even if he became the second, he wanted to stay by Karel’s side. But he also genuinely didn’t want to share Karel with anyone else. Sasha was torn between wanting Karel completely and not wanting to lose him to someone else.At dawn, after crying until he was exhausted, Sasha lay down on the bed. Karel, who was also exhausted from his recent overwork, fell asleep first.At some point, Sasha shook Karel awake. Karel slowly opened his eyes.Sasha, with a hoarse voice from crying, whispered in Karel’s ear.“Give me a ring too.”Karel, forcing his tired eyes open, intertwined his fingers with Sasha’s hand resting on his chest and kissed the back of his hand.“I’ll get you the most expensive one.”“And always wear it with your wedding ring.”Sasha’s voice seemed to tremble slightly, making Karel tilt his head. Sasha’s tear-stained face, now looking fiercely determined, came into view. A deep jealousy lingered beneath Sasha’s eyes.“Alright.”“And propose to me too.”“I will.”At Karel’s answer, Sasha’s expression crumbled. He clung to Karel, his lips trembling against Karel’s as he spoke words of regret.“How can you promise something like that when you have a wife?”Sasha felt a painful imaginary grip on his heart as if Karel was squeezing it tightly. He knew Karel, always so sincere, would give the same earnest love to someone else that he had once sworn to him. The thought tormented Sasha.“I thought it was our stage… I thought we were the protagonists….”Unable to finish his resentful words, Sasha leaned against Karel’s chest and cried.The night passed.＊ ＊ ＊Two days later, Levin and Charles arrived at the mansion in an elegant carriage sent by Karel. Levin, quietly impressed by the well-kept neighborhood lined with upper-class mansions, saw Sasha waiting at the door of the grandest and most beautiful house.Sasha, leaning against the door in a slightly disheveled state, greeted her with a smile, looking even more gaunt than before.Levin, carrying Charles, quickly walked over to Sasha.In the past, Sasha had been unstable, torn between feelings of guilt toward Karel’s fiancée and a selfish desire to be with Karel. Ironically, the sharp features sculpted by his heartbreak and his pallor only made Sasha more striking. Levin’s gaze was momentarily drawn to the blue diamond earrings gleaming at his ears.“Levin, it’s been a while.”“It really has.”As Levin was unable to take her eyes off Sasha’s face, Charles, unsettled by the new environment, burst into tears. When she handed the tear-streaked Charles to Sasha, the baby miraculously stopped crying and laughed with wet eyes.Karel watched the reunion of the three from a second-floor window.Not long after, Karel gave Sasha a very luxurious ring. Outwardly, it appeared to be a simple, thick platinum ring, but hidden inside the band were forty blue diamonds encircling the interior. The discreet blue shackles constantly tightened around Sasha’s finger inside the elegant platinum band.‘Should we take a trip before the new season starts?’‘Sounds good.’The rings on his ears, chest, and finger.As Karel looked at the blue diamond marks engraved on Sasha’s body, his eyes reflected a mixture of guilt and possessiveness.Sasha often recalled the times when Karel would unhesitatingly devote everything to him. And now, he knew those moments would never return. He also knew that he was the one who had abandoned them.Sasha wondered how long he could endure this situation.It felt like starting the first pirouette of thirty-two with the wrong footing.But it was an irreversible matter.