Chapter 22
“At least during your difficult times. I can’t leave you alone; it makes me uneasy….”“Are you my brother or my close friend? What can’t I handle on my own?”“What can I do about worrying? This is the first time I’ve seen you live in such a mess.”Ah… How should I deal with this unwarranted affection?“I’m fine now. Everything’s okay.”“You always say that, but it’s never true.”Considering the way I’ve been lately, it’s understandable that Jaeoh doesn’t trust me. However, he doesn’t know about Jung Yiyeon’s change. If this is just another one of my delusions, playing around with Jung Yiyeon’s capriciousness, can I regain my composure after getting hurt again? If I can’t organize my thoughts even then, can I endure those miserable times alone? Selfish thoughts crossed my mind.Moreover, if things end permanently with Jung Yiyeon, won’t I have sorted out Jaeoh for nothing? Until now, there hasn’t been anyone as warm and comfortable as Jaeoh. I knew these thoughts were wrong, it would be a form of torment for Jaeoh.However, I’ve already told Jaeoh that I don’t love him anymore, and I’ve drawn a line. Yet Jaeoh still expressed a desire to stay by my side, even as friends.“Ha, Jaeoh.”“Hyung, would it be okay if you cut ties like this?”Hyung. The moment Jaeoh called me “hyung,” I was speechless. I wasn’t the type of person to be weak about things like this, but still, Jaeoh was a special connection. It was only when Jaeoh called me “hyung” after a long time that I realized we had a relationship like brothers.“I hope it hurts you a bit less this way.”“It hurts more to push you away like this.”Jaeoh awkwardly smiled at me. I was now unsure about what the right course of action was.“Have you eaten?”I would never be a soft person, and Seo Jaeoh probably knew that well. That might be why when I mentioned having a meal, Jaeoh’s eyes widened. It seemed as if behind him, a dog’s tail was wagging incessantly.“I haven’t eaten.”“I can’t cook for you, but I can grill some meat.”Despite the lack of enthusiasm, Jaeoh smiled happily at my suggestion of having a meal together. It seemed like that alone could make him content.…Looking at Seo Jaeoh, I suddenly thought. Maybe I should have approached Jung Yiyeon like this as well. If I had, wouldn’t Jung Yiyeon have also found it challenging to reject me?Of course, it was a pointless assumption. My relationship with Jung Yiyeon was different from the one between Seo Jaeoh and me. Moreover, even if the process was miserable and painful, Jung Yiyeon eventually turned away. The memory of him coming to my house came to mind, and my heart fluttered a bit.Certainly, the good beef that my brother sent, it would have been better if I had shared it with Jung Yiyeon. It was a somewhat regretful remark to Jaeoh, but I felt dissatisfied as I grilled the meat.The side dishes for the instant rice were only meat and kimchi, but the meat was so delicious that no other dishes were needed. Seeing Jaeoh, who had entered my house with a dying expression, eating with a much brighter face was quite pleasing. Although the situation could have been awkward, the time Seo Jaeoh and I spent together was so long that it didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. It was a peaceful and simple time.That was all the space I could give to Jaeoh.“Now, go home.”“Huh…?”“I’ll do the dishes. Now, go.”“Umm.”I no longer had the intention of letting Jaeoh sleep at my place. I wasn’t in a condition for that. Until Jung Yiyeon contacted me, I might feel anxious and restless, but I didn’t think I would lose sleep over it like before. I was even prepared to contact him first if Jung Yiyeon was struggling.I took out the paper bag containing Jaeoh’s belongings from the wardrobe and handed it to him. When he hugged it, Jaeoh’s expression seemed to cloud for a moment. Fortunately, he didn’t make a fuss anymore.“If anything happens, contact me.”“Sure, but you really don’t have to worry. I’m genuinely okay now.”Jaeoh still had a skeptical look, but he left my house without a fuss. His determination not to overwhelm the guy who had tried to take advantage of me seemed to be clearly conveyed.I had definitely conveyed my feelings. I would still be there for Jaeoh if he wanted, but I made it clear that there were limits. So now, it was time for Jaeoh to understand my feelings and sort things out for himself. It would be a very tough experience based on my own experience, but it was something that had to be done.With a slightly relieved heart, I did the dishes. After washing up and brushing my teeth, I returned to the bed, covered myself with a blanket, and hunched over. While waiting for Jung Yiyeon’s call, I clutched my phone tightly in my hand. I turned on the TV, but I couldn’t concentrate.Even though he suggested having a meal, it was already well past dinner time. Probably, he wouldn’t contact me to have a meal together, considering the time. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but wait for his call.I spent my time repeatedly watching TV, playing with my phone, and opening the messaging app. Staring blankly at the phone while lying down made my eyes feel stiff, even though it wasn’t late. Gradually, I felt a sense of drowsiness creeping in.What if Jung Yiyeon contacts me, and I’m asleep, unable to see it? Although I felt worried, dispelling drowsiness was not an easy task.I ended up blinking and waking up around 10 PM. The vibration from the phone that I was holding tightly made my body shiver, as if being hit by cold water.Waking up with the vibration and ringtone, I opened my eyes wide. When I checked the screen, it felt like my heart had stopped. Quickly answering the call, I heard a soft voice in my ear.“Are you coming to the residence now?”It was Jung Yiyeon’s voice.In response to Jung Yiyeon’s call, I immediately headed to the residence.The weather, which was clear until yesterday, started raining, and there was a forecast that it would be influenced by a typhoon. The damp wind was blowing fiercely. Uncharacteristically cool, the temperature made my bare forearms under the short sleeves feel chilly. However, I didn’t notice because my heart was pounding as if it would burst.Jung Yiyeon contacted me first. He actually contacted me first! Not only did he visit my house, but he also called and asked me to come to the residence. It felt like I was dreaming. Although I expected it to happen, it really felt like Jung Yiyeon was opening his heart to me.I wanted to contact him and let him experience how much I longed for him, but my impatience was too overwhelming. I was eagerly awaiting Jung Yiyeon’s call. When Jaeoh came, I pretended to send him away because I felt burdened, but in reality, I wanted to send him away even faster in case Jung Yiyeon called.When I arrived at the residence, would we immediately engage in sex? I wondered how things would unfold and what I wanted from this relationship. At the same time, there was a fear that my eagerness might push him away. I didn’t expect to become so passive in a relationship, but my desire to hold onto him made me timid and cautious.Still, if I had to express my most urgent wish, it would be to have a conversation first. No, I still wanted to have sex. If the partner was Jung Yiyeon, anything would be fine. My heart was pounding as if it would explode with excitement.Exiting the taxi, I immediately took the elevator up to Jung Yiyeon’s residence.“I’m here. Can I come in?”“Hello.”Jung Yiyeon, opening the door himself, would never know how touching his appearance was to me. It was too wonderful. A sense of happiness filled my chest. Just the fact that the chilliness had disappeared from his face, and he welcomed me with such a face.It was so good that I feared it might be another one of my misunderstandings. Getting off the taxi, I went straight to the elevator and headed up to Jung Yiyeon’s residence.“You’re here? Come in.”“Hello.”Jung Yiyeon, opening the door, would never know how touching his appearance was to me.It was too wonderful. A sense of happiness filled my chest. Just the fact that the chilliness had disappeared from his face, and he welcomed me with such a face.It was so good that I feared it might be another one of my misunderstandings. Getting off the taxi, I went straight to the elevator and headed up to Jung Yiyeon’s residence.“You’re here? Come in.”The tired face with traces of fatigue was terribly pitiful. It seemed that stress had built up due to things not going well. There was even a regret that I had quit my job for no reason. It was a regret that I couldn’t help him a little bit by his side.“Want to have a drink?”He was sitting alone, pouring himself a drink without holding back. On the table near the window of the bedroom where we had our moments, there was a bottle of liquor. Observing the glass, not even filled with ice, I shook my head.“No, I’m fine.”I had enough to drink in the past two months. I didn’t want to drink when I was with Jung Yiyeon. Now, I only wanted to savor the time with him.“Sure, then. Go wash up.”I should start a conversation. I hesitated for a moment; it felt a bit hurtful. However, considering the despair I had felt over the past few months, this was bearable.Moreover, looking at his tired face, I couldn’t bring myself to suggest a conversation before dealing with his exhaustion. Jung Yiyeon continued to drink alone, sitting on the table with his hips hanging off. Each sip he took made his Adam’s apple bob. Why did that make my heart flutter so much?Perhaps it was due to the subtly illuminated yellow light. His tired face looked pitiful, yet there was a slightly more decadent allure than usual. I tried to ignore it, but the wet hair sticking to his forehead and the deep gaze below them gave off a sensuous vibe.Even though Jung Yiyeon told me to wash up, I couldn’t bring myself to go to the bathroom. I could only stare blankly at him, wearing a gown, my gaze stolen by the man’s appearance.Jung Yiyeon’s eyes, nose, and lips—why were they so perfectly to my taste? The wide shoulders, tall stature, and the well-wrapped physique made my heart flutter just by looking at them.Even in this situation, at this point, Jung Yiyeon looked good to me. I wanted to comfort him and boost his spirits in any way I could.And it wouldn’t be bad for Jung Yiyeon either. I remembered him saying once, “I sleep better when I’ve done it.”“…I washed up at home.”Mumbling, I approached Jung Yiyeon. I kneeled in front of him, placing my knees on the table.“…Secretary Lee.”Feeling the color returning to his face from the heavily tired one, I wondered if it was because I liked Jung Yiyeon so much.I discreetly pulled at the gown Jung Yiyeon was wearing, moving my face towards the space between his legs. Even in this relaxed state, Jung Yiyeon’s size wasn’t small. Why did even the shape and color seem so provocative? Lost in thought, I parted my lips and softly sucked on the supple flesh, tasting the scent of body wash on his drying skin. In that fragrance, Jung Yiyeon’s own scent was hidden.Even in its flaccid state, Jung Yiyeon’s was not small. I wondered why the shape and color seemed so suggestive. Lost in thought, I parted my lips, gently sucking in the soft flesh and moistening it with deliberately saliva. Gradually, his member began to swell. I tightened my lips around the firming organ, biting it with my lips and playfully swirling the tip with my tongue. Jung Yiyeon trembled at the unexpected touch.The warm breath falling on my head made my mind melt away. Perhaps it was because he was my favorite.Just as when I had sucked Jung Yiyeon under the office desk sometime before, the fact that I was now sucking him in my mouth made my heart pound. Though the organ filling my mouth had become unbearably heavy, the sense of invading territory and the fact that Jung Yiyeon was excited because of me made this situation incredibly enjoyable.“Hah, Secretary Lee…”His voice, expressing pleasure, sent shivers down my spine.Reaching out, I grabbed his buttocks beneath the gown, taking his member deeper into my mouth. Despite the physiological urge to gag at the intrusion, I swallowed along with the accumulated saliva.Jung Yiyeon forcefully pulled my head towards him. With his grip on my hair, I couldn’t detach my lips, and while his organ was still in my mouth, I struggled to breathe.When I glanced up, Jung Yiyeon was looking down at me. The pumpkin-colored drink slid into his lips, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. Why did even that seem so sensual?Taking advantage of the weakened grip on my hair, I tilted my head backward. While doing so, I continued sucking on Jung Yiyeon’s organ. As it withdrew, a bitter taste lingered in my mouth. Even that sensation was ecstatic.Spitting out the genitals until only the glans remained in my mouth, I licked the glans as if rolling a candy. With the tip of my tongue standing on the firm and smooth glans, I teased it as if piercing, then deeply swallowed Jung Yiyeon’s genitals again. I engulfed it so deeply that my face touched his scrotum, squeezing my throat while sucking his genitals.My lips continuously made a strange yet wet sound. The gentle strokes caressing my head felt like praise, making me moan eagerly enough to feel breathless while fervently pleasuring his genitals.“Get up.”While I was deeply engaged in sucking and pleasuring him, Jung Yiyeon suddenly pulled me up. Grabbing my forearm, he pushed me towards the window. The main bedroom of the residence had large windows on two sides, offering an unobstructed view of the cityscape.“Ah…”I briefly moaned as the hand entering my shirt gently rubbed along my skin. Although there were no buildings of the same height nearby, the window was so large that it felt like someone could be watching.Perhaps because it was raining outside, or maybe because of the window’s size, it even felt like we were doing something outdoors.The sense of danger that someone might see us sent shivers down my skin. When Jung Yiyeon took off my shirt, the sensation was heightened, and my face blazed with heat as if it were on fire.When Jung Yiyeon undid my pants buckle, I urgently grabbed his hand and turned my head away.“On the bed…”My face was probably crimson by now. I wanted, at the very least, to do it on the bed, if not to curtain it. While I hadn’t thought much when I was pleasuring him before, the prospect of standing naked by the window made it particularly awkward.Seeing my face flushed red, Jung Yiyeon chuckled.He chuckled. I didn’t know why he was laughing, but seeing his smile after such a long time made me freeze in place.“Secretary Lee, really…”He effortlessly pulled down my pants. And when he stripped off my underwear, Jung Yiyeon’s hand gripped my buttocks.“Wait, just a moment!”“You really have a knack for enchanting people.”I had no idea what I had done to deserve such a comment. When did I seduce him? I mean, let’s be honest, I was just being dragged along by Jung Yiyeon, and I had never intentionally tried to seduce him. Even if I wanted to, I didn’t have the courage to actively pursue someone who wouldn’t easily fall for it.Once again, I was pulled and led by Jung Yiyeon as he pleased. I ended up on the bed. As Jung Yiyeon took off his gown and brought out the gel, my legs were spread wide. Even though he seemed to be working as if he were standing by the window, I felt relieved when he finally came to the bed.“Hng!”I gasped in surprise.Jung Yiyeon unexpectedly took my exposed genitalia into his mouth.“Boss…”I never thought I would be surprised to receive fellatio in my life. Overwhelmed with shock, I quickly held onto his hair.However, Jung Yiyeon didn’t stop. He continued to suck on my genitalia, as if he were engaged in his work. For a moment, pleasure shot through me from the coccyx to the brain. My waist jerked sharply.“Ah, ah…”I moaned helplessly with my mouth wide open. It had been a while since I received fellatio. It was the first time since confessing my feelings to Jung Yiyeon. There were times when I thought he would never do such things to me again.But now, Jung Yiyeon was sucking on my genitalia with his mouth…! The fact alone felt like it would make me collapse.My spread legs trembled. Jung Yiyeon’s lips. Jung Yiyeon’s mouth. Jung Yiyeon’s tongue…“Haah… ha…, ugh…”I groaned helplessly with my mouth open. It had been a long time since I received fellatio. It was the first time since confessing my feelings to Jung Yiyeon. There were times when I thought he would never do such things to me again.But now, Jung Yiyeon was sucking on my genitalia with his mouth…! The fact alone felt like it would make me collapse.My spread legs trembled. Jung Yiyeon’s lips. Jung Yiyeon’s mouth. Jung Yiyeon’s tongue…“Haah… ha…, ugh…”I groaned as the memories of the past flashed through my mind. I remembered the first time he and I had a physical relationship. I was standing in the shower, and Jung Yiyeon was kneeling in front of me. And then he…“Uyak!”I was startled by the fingers probing behind unexpectedly. I involuntarily jerked my waist again. Thanks to that, I unintentionally stabbed into Jung Yiyeon’s throat, even though it wasn’t my intention. However, Jung Yiyeon adeptly continued to suck on my genitalia with ease.“Ah, ah, ugh…!”Wet fingers delved inside, pressing against sensitive areas. The firm and alien sensation of the fingers alone sent shivers down my spine, and the internal stimulation made the heat rise to the tip of my head. Thanks to that, climax was steadily approaching.However, just before I reached climax, Jung Yiyeon pulled his lips away. He gathered the genitalia I had been sucking for a while, both his and mine. As if that wasn’t enough, he generously applied more gel. The sensation of the two wet genitalia mingling in his moist hand was ecstasy itself.“Hoo… Secretary Lee.”With a flushed face, Jung Yiyeon called me. Even though he had called me his secretary several times before, I didn’t understand why my heart was pounding so fiercely, almost feeling like tears were about to come.I’m just a secretary now. Just another day’s work. Yet, when Jung Yiyeon called me his secretary with such a heated voice, it felt so overwhelming that I couldn’t regain my composure. My heart was throbbing so much that I couldn’t focus. At the same time, it was so good that my chest felt like it was collapsing in pain. The combination of joy and pain was a strange experience for me.“…I want to do it without a condom.”No… People are now immersed in a hot pot of emotions, gasping in the midst of deep emotions, and Jung Yiyeon says something like that.At that moment, my irritation dissipated. It felt so absurd that I thought I might burst into laughter. Jung Yiyeon was still the same. A person who says random things in an adorable way. I loved Jung Yiyeon even in those moments. Even in this state, in the midst of overwhelming joy and pain, it was amazing to me as a human.“…Just do it.”Instead of being repulsed by the absurdity of not using a condom, my heart was filled with happiness.With my permission, Jung Yiyeon smiled faintly. Just like back then. When I hid my feelings for him and he treated me like a lover. At that moment, I had to grit my teeth to hold back the surging tears.“Ah…!”If it hadn’t been for Jung Yiyeon’s penetrating member thrusting inside while spreading me open below, I might have burst into tears in that moment, overwhelmed by my emotions. I had already cried in front of Jung Yiyeon several times, but crying again felt like a pathetic act.“Ah, ah, ugh…!”I concentrated on the present, erasing my emotions, trying to focus on the entry of Jung Yiyeon’s voluminous organ. As far as I knew, Jung Yiyeon sometimes started off aggressively.“Ah!”Sure enough, just after his glans entered, spreading the folds, Jung Yiyeon forcefully thrust his member with a loud sound. The sensation of being vigorously stirred inside was so overwhelming that my vision turned white. Tears welled up in my eyes due to the sensation of being pierced through to the top of my head.“Secretary Lee…”Jung Yiyeon called me with a moan and moved his hips. How happy would I be if he called me his secret lover… Without specific expectations, I tightly embraced Jung Yiyeon’s shoulders. Each time his member repeatedly invaded my insides, sparkling stars appeared before my eyes.His organ penetrated my walls unreservedly, stimulating the mucous membranes. My foot continued to twitch involuntarily. With each thrust and withdrawal of his member, a dizzying pleasure surged up through my spine. Before my eyes, blue, yellow, and sometimes red flashes of light appeared and disappeared. Occasionally, it turned pitch black. Those were the colors of the insane pleasure Jung Yiyeon provided.“Uhh, ugh… huhuh. Uh, huhu…”Above all, what felt the best was Jung Yiyeon’s lips tenderly kissing me as he breathed heavily. His caressing hands on my chest and abdomen also brought me great joy. Although I had engaged in the act called sex many times, knowing how ruthlessly Jung Yiyeon treated people, his affectionate kisses and caresses overwhelmed me.I mindlessly sucked and nibbled on his lips that touched mine. Holding Jung Yiyeon’s back as if clinging to my lifeline, I couldn’t help but hang in the air with each of his rapid movements.“Ah…! Ah! Uh, ah!”Releasing my arms that were holding him and pushing him down onto the bed, he forcefully continued thrusting inside. As his body collided with mine, creating a tingling sensation in the open area, an exhilarating pleasure swept through my entire body. Falling into an abyss of unknown depth, the feeling of being thrown into the void was unavoidable.“Ah…!”